I    - 


THE  LIBRARY  OF  THE 

UNIVERSITY  OF 

NORTH  CAROLINA 

AT  CHAPEL  HILL 


PRESENTED  BY 


Betty  Bell 


2j 


Digitized  by  the  Internet  Archive 

in  2012  with  funding  from 

University  of  North  Carolina  at  Chapel  Hill 


http://www.archive.org/details/alicesadventures1901carr 


ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN 
WONDERLAND 


AND 


THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS  AND 
WHAT  ALICE  FOUND  THERE 


BY 

LEWIS    CARROLL. 


PROFUSELY  ILLUSTRATED  BY  JOHN  TENNIEL 


NEW  YORK 

HURST  AND   COMPANY 

PUBLISHERS 


CONTENTS. 


ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

CHAPTER  PAGE 

I.  Down  the  Rabbit-Hole 7 

II.  The  Pool  of  Tears 16 

III.  A  Caucus-Race  and  a  Long  Tale 26 

IV.  The  Rabbit  sends  in  a  Little  Bill 34 

V.  Advice  from  a  Caterpillar 46 

VI.  Pig  and  Pepper 58 

VII.  A  Mad  Tea-Party 70 

VIII.  The  Queen's  Croquet-Ground 81 

IX.  The  Mock  Turtle's  Story 92 

X.  The  Lobster  Quadrille 103 

XL  Who  Stole  the  Tarts?  112 

XII.  Alice's  Evidence 121 

THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS  AND  WHAT 
ALICE  FOUND  THERE. 

I.  Looking-Glass  House .   137 

II.  The  Garden  of  Live  Flowers 153 

III.  Looking-Glass  Insects 165 

IV.  Tweedledum  and  Tweedledee 178 

V.  Wool  and  Water 193 


/ 


4  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER  PAGE 

VI.  Humpty  Dumpty 206 

VII.  The  Lion  and  th«  Unicorn 220 

VIII.  "  It's  my  own  Invention  " 232 

IX.  Queen  Alice 249 

X.  Shaking 267 

XI.  Waking 2G9 

XII.  Which  Dreamed  It? 271 


All   in    the   golden    afternoon 

Full  leisurely  we  glide; 
For  both  our  oars,  with  little  skill, 

By  little  arms  are  plied, 
While  little  hands  make  vain  pretence 

Our  wonderings  to  guide. 

Ah,  cruel  Three !     In  such  an  hour, 
Beneath  such  dreamv  weather, 

To  beg  a  tale,  of  breath  too  weak 
To  stir  the  tiniest  feather ! 

Yet  what  can  one  poor  voice  avail 
Against  three  tongues  together  ? 

Imperious  Prima  flashes  forth 

Her  edict  to  "  begin  it  " — 
In  gentler  tone  Secunda  hopes 

"  There  will  be  nonsense  in  it " — 
While  Tertia  interrupts  the  tale 

JSTot  more  than  once  a  minute. 

Anon,  to  sudden  silence  won, 

In  fancy  they  pursue 
The  dream-child  moving  through  a  land 

Of  wonders  wild  and  new, 
In  friendly  chat  with  bird  or  beast — 

And  half  believe  it  true. 

5 


And  ever,  as  the  story  drained 

The  wells  of  fancy  dry, 
And  faintly  strove  that  weary  one 

To  put  the  subject  by, 
"  The  rest  next  time — "     "  It  is  next  time !  " 

The  happy  voices  cry. 

Thus  grew  the  tale  of  Wonderland : 

Thus  slowly,  one  by  one, 
Its  quaint  events  were  hammered  out — 

And  now  the  tale  is  done, 
And  home  we  steer,  a  merry  crew, 

Beneath  the  setting  sun. 

Alice !  a  childish  story  take, 

And  with  a  gentle  hand 
Lay  it  where  Childhood's  dreams  are  twined 

In  Memory's  mystic  band, 
Like  pilgrim's  withered  wreath  of  flowers 

Plucked  in  a  far-off  land. 


6 


ALICE'S  ADVENTUEES  IN  WONDEKLAND. 


CHAPTER  I. 


DOWN"   THE   KABBIT-HOLE. 


Alice  was  beginning  to  get  very  tired  of  sitting 
by  her  sister  on  the  bank,  and  of  having  nothing  to 
do :  once  or  twice  she  had  peeped  into  the  book  her 
sister  was  reading,  but  it  had  no  pictures  or  conversa- 
tions in  it,  "  and  what  is  the  use  of  a  book,"  thought 
Alice,    "  without   pictures   or   conversations  ?  " 

So  she  was  considering  in  her  own  mind,  (as  well  as 
she  could,  for  the  hot  day  made  her  feel  very  sleepy 
and  stupid,)  whether  the  pleasure  of  making  a  daisy- 
chain  would  be  worth  the  trouble  of  getting  up  and 
picking  the  daisies,  when  suddenly  a  white  rabbit  with 
pink  eyes  ran  close  by  her. 

There  was  nothing  so  very  remarkable  in  that ;  nor 
did  Alice  think  it  so  very  much  out  of  the  way  to  hear 
the  Rabbit  say  to  itself,  "  Oh  dear !  Oh  dear !  I  shall 
be  too  late !  "  (when  she  thought  it  over  afterwards,  it 
occurred  to  her  that  she  ought  to  have  wondered  at  this, 
but  at  the  time  it  all  seemed  quite  natural)  ;  but  when 
the  Rabbit  actually  took  a  watch  out  of  its  waistcoat- 
pocket,  and  looked  at  it,  and  then  hurried  on,  Alice 
started  to  her  feet,  for  it  flashed  across  her  mind  that 
she  had  never  before  seen  a  rabbit  with  either  a  waist- 
coat-pocket or  a  watch  to  take  out  of  it,  and,  burning 

7 


ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 


with  curiosity,  she  ran  across  the  field  after  it,  and 
was  just  in  time  to  see  it  pop  down  a  large  rabbit- 
hole  under  the  hedge. 

In  another  moment  down  went  Alice  after  it,  never 
once  considering  how  in  the  world  she  was  to  get  out 


again. 


The  rabbit-hole  went  straight  on   like  a  tunnel  for 
some  way,    and   then   dipped   suddenly   down,    so   sud- 


Wiin 


if 

dBBS 


denly  that  Alice  had  not  a  moment  to  think  about  stop- 
ping herself  before  she  found  herself  falling  down 
what  seemed  to  be  a  very  deep  well. 

Either  the  well  was  very  deep,  or  she  fell  very 
slowly,  for  she  had  plenty  of  time  as  she  went  down 
to  look  about  her,  and  to  wonder  what  was  going  to 
happen  next.  First,  she  tried  to  look  down  and  make 
out  what  she  was  coming  to,  but  it  was  too  dark  to  see 


DOWN  THE  RABBIT-HOLE.  9 

anything:  then  she  looked  at  the  sides  of  the  well,  and 
noticed  that  they  were  filled  with  cupboards  and  book- 
shelves :  here  and  there  she  saw  maps  and  pictures 
hung  upon  pegs.  She  took  down  a  jar  from  one  of  the 
shelves  as  she  passed ;  it  was  labelled  "  ORANGE 
MARMALADE,"  but  to  her  great  disappointment  it 
was  empty:  she  did  not  like  to  drop  the  jar  for  fear 
of  killing  somebody  underneath,  so  managed  to  put  it 
into  one  of  the  cupboards  as  she  fell  past  it. 

"  Well !  "  thought  Alice  to  herself,  "  after  such  a 
fall  as  this,  I  shall  think  nothing  of  tumbling  down- 
stairs !  How  brave  they'll  all  think  me  at  home !  Why, 
I  wouldn't  say  anything  about  it,  even  if  I  fell  off  the 
top  of  the  house!  "     (Which  was  very  likely  true.) 

Down,  down,  down.  Would  the  fall  never  come  to 
an  end  ?  "I  wonder  how  many  miles  I've  fallen 
by  this  time  ?  "  she  said  aloud.  "  I  must  be  getting 
somewhere  near  the  centre  of  the  earth.  Let  me  see: 
that  would  be  four  thousand  miles  down,  I  think — " 
(for,  you  see,  Alice  had  learnt  several  things  of  this 
sort  in  her  lessons  in  the  schoolroom,  and  though  this 
was  not  a  very  good  opportunity  for  showing  off  her 
knowledge,  as  there  was  no  one  to  listen  to  her,  still 
it  was  good  practice  to  say  it  over)  " — yes,  that's  about 
the  right  distance — but  then  I  wonder  what  Latitude 
or  Longitude  I've  got  to?  "  (Alice  had  not  the  slight- 
est idea  what  Latitude  was,  or  Longitude  either,  but 
she  thought  they  were  nice  grand  words  to  say.) 

Presently  she  began  again.  "  I  wonder  if  I  shall 
fall  right  through  the  earth !  How  funny  it'll  seem 
to  come  out  among  the  people  that  walk  with  their 
heads  downwards !  The  Antipathies,  I  think — "  (she 
was  rather  glad  there  was  no  one  listening  this  time, 
as  it  didn't  sound  at  all  the  right  word)  "  — but  I  shall 
have  to  ask  them  what  the  name  of  the  country  is,  you 


10    ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

know.  Please,  Ma'am,  is  this  Xew  Zealand  or  Aus- 
tralia? "  (and  she  tried  to  curtsy  as  she  spoke — fancy 
curtsying  as  you're  falling  through  the  air!  Do  you 
think  you  could  manage  it  ?)  "  And  what  an  ignorant 
little  girl  she'll  think  me  for  asking!  Xo,  it'll  never 
do  to  ask:  perhaps  I  shall  see  it  written  up  somewhere." 

Down,  down,  down.  There  was  nothing  else  to  do, 
so  Alice  soon  began  talking  again.  "  Dinah'll  miss  me 
very  much  to-night,  I  should  think!'1  (Dinah  wis  the 
cat.)  "  I  hope  they'll  remember  her  saucer  of  milk 
at  tea-time.  Dinah,  my  dear!  I  wish  you  were  down 
here  with  me!  There  are  no  mice  in  the  air,  I'm 
afraid,  but  you  might  catch  a  bat,  and  that's  very 
like  a  mouse,  you  know.  But  do  cats  eat  bats,  I  won- 
der? '  And  here  Alice  began  to  get  rather  sleepy,  and 
went  on  saying  to  herself,  in  a  dreamy  sort  of  way, 
"  Do  cats  eat  bats  ?  Do  cats  eat  bats  \  "  and  sometimes, 
"  Do  bats  eat  cats  ?  "  for,  you  see,  as  she  couldn't  an- 
swer either  question,  it  didn't  much  matter  which  way 
she  put  it.  She  felt  that  she  was  dozing  off,  and  had 
just  begun  to  dream  that  she  was  walking  hand  in 
hand  with  Dinah,  and  was  saying  to  her  very  earnestly, 
"  Xow,  Dinah,  tell  me  the  truth :  did  you  ever  eat  a 
bat?"  when  suddenly,  thump!  thump!  down  she  came 
upon  a  heap  of  sticks  and  dry  leaves,  and  the  fall  was 
over. 

Alice  was  not  a  bit  hurt,  and  she  jumped  up  onto 
her  feet  in  a  moment;  she  looked  up,  but  it  was  all  dark 
overhead ;  before  her  was  another  long  passage,  and 
the  White  Rabbit  was  still  in  sight,  hurrying  down  it. 
There  was  not  a  moment  to  be  lost :  away  went  Alice 
like  the  wind,  and  was  just  in  time  to  hear  it  say,  as 
it  turned  a  corner,  "  Oh  my  ears  and  whiskers,  how 
late  it's  getting !  '  She  was  close  behind  it  when  she 
turned  the  corner,  but  the  Rabbit  was  no  longer  to  be 


DOWN  THE  RABBIT-HOLE. 


11 


seen :  she  found  herself  in  a  long,  low  hall,  which  was 
lit  up  by  a  row  of  lamps  hanging  from  the  roof. 

There  were  doors  all  round  the  hall,  but  they  were 
all  locked,  and  when  Alice  had  been  all  the  way  down 
one  side  and  up  the  other,  trying  every  door,  she  walked 
sadly  down  the  middle,  wondering  how  she  was  ever 
to  get  out  again. 

Suddenly  she  came  upon  a  little  three-legged  table, 
all  made  of  solid  glass ;  there  was  nothing  on  it  but  a 
tiny  golden  key,   and  Alice's  first   idea  was  that  this 


might  belong  to  one  of  the  doors  of  the  hall ;  but  alas ! 
either  the  locks  were  too  large,  or  the  key  was  too  small, 
but  at  any  rate  it  would  not  open  any  of  them.  How- 
ever, on  the  second  time  round,  she  came  upon  a  low 
curtain  she  had  not  noticed  before,  and  behind  it  was 
a  little  door  about  fifteen  inches  high :  she  tried  the 
little  golden  key  in  the  lock,  and  to  her  great  delight  it 
fitted ! 

Alice  opened  the  door  and  found  that  it  led  into  a 
small  passage,  not  much  larger  than   a  rat-hole:  she 


12 


ALICES  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 


knelt  down  and  looked  along  the  passage  into  the  love- 
liest garden  you  ever  saw.  How  she  longed  to  get  out 
of  that  dark  hall,  and  wander  about  among  those  beds 
of  bright  flowers  and  those  cool  fountains,  but  she 
could  not  even  get  her  head  through  the  doorway ;  "  and 
even  if  my  head  would  go  through,"  thought  poor 
Alice,  "  it  would  be  of  very  little  use  without  my 
shoulders.  Oh,  how  I  wish  I  could  shut  up  like  a  tele- 
scope !     I  think  I  could  if  I  only  knew  how  to  begin." 


For,  you  see,  so  many  out-of-the-way  things  had  hap- 
pened lately  that  Alice  had  begun  to  think  that  very 
few  things  indeed  were  really  impossible. 

There  seemed  to  be  no  use  in  waiting  by  the  little 
door,  so  she  went  back  to  the  table,  half  hoping  she 
might  find  another  key  on  it,  or  at  any  rate  a  book  of 
rules  for  shutting  people  up  like  telescopes ;  this  time 
she  found  a  little  bottle  on  it,   ("  which  certainly  was 


DOWN  THE  RABBIT-HOLE.  13 

not  here  before,"  said  Alice,)  and  tied  round  the  neck 
of  the  bottle  was  a  paper  label  with  the  words 
"  DRINK  ME "  beautifully  printed  on  it  in  large 
letters. 

It  was  all  very  well  to  say  "  Drink  me,"  but  the 
wise  little  Alice  was  not  going  to  do  that  in  a  hurry : 
"  no,  I'll  look  first,"  she  said,  "  and  see  whether  it's 
marked  *  poison '  or  not :  "  for  she  had  read  several 
nice  little  stories  about  children  who  had  got  burnt, 
and  eaten  up  by  wild  beasts,  and  other  unpleasant 
things,  all  because  they  would  not  remember  the  simple 
rules  their  friends  had  taught  them,  such  as,  that  a 
red-hot  poker  will  burn  you  if  you  hold  it  too  long ; 
and  that  if  you  cut  your  finger  very  deeply  with  a 
knife,  it  usually  bleeds ;  and  she  had  never  forgotten 
that,  if  you  drink  much  from  a  bottle  marked  "  poison," 
it  is  almost  certain  to  disagree  with  you,  sooner  or 
later. 

However,  this  bottle  was  not  marked  "  poison,"  so 
Alice  ventured  to  taste  it,  and  finding  it  very  nice,  (it 
had,  in  fact,  a  sort  of  mixed  flavor  of  cherry-tart, 
custard,  pineapple,  roast  turkey,  toffy,  and  hot  buttered 
toast,)  she  very  soon  finished  it  off. 

w  "X*  w  #T  TV" 

*  *  *  * 

***** 

"  What  a  curious  feeling !  "  said  Alice,  "  I  must  be 
shutting  up  like  a  telescope." 

And  so  it  was  indeed :  she  was  now  only  ten  inches 
high,  and  her  face  brightened  up  at  the  thought  that 
she  was  now  the  right  size  for  going  through  the  little 
door  into  that  lovely  garden.  First,  however,  she 
waited  for  a  few  minutes  to  see  if  she  was  going  to 


14  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

shrink  any  further :  she  felt  a  little  nervous  about 
this,  "  for  it  might  end,  you  know,"  said  Alice  to  her- 
self, "  in  nry  going  out  altogether,  like  a  candle.  I 
wonder  what  I  should  be  like  then  ?  "  And  she  tried 
to  fancy  what  the  flame  of  a  candle  looks  like  after  the 
candle  is  blown  out,  for  she  could  not  remember  ever 
having  seen  such  a  thing. 

After  a  while,  finding  that  nothing  more  happe  ied? 
she  decided  on  going  into  the  garden  at  once,  but,  :  as! 
for  poor  Alice!  when  she  got  to  the  door,  she  fouii-'  she 
had  forgotten  the  little  golden  key,  and  when  she  went 
back  to  the  table  for  it,  she  found  she  could  not  possibly 
reach  it :  she  could  see  it  quite  plainly  through  the 
glass,  and  she  tried  her  best  to  climb  up  one  of  the  legs 
of  the  table,  but  it  was  too  slippery,  and  when  she  had 
tired  herself  out  with  trying,  the  poor  little  thing  sat 
down  and  cried. 

"Come,  there's  no  use  in  crying  like  that!'1  said 
Alice  to  herself,  rather  sharply,  "  I  advise  you  to  leave 
off  this  minute !  '  She  generally  gave  herself  very 
good  advice,  (though  she  very  seldom  followed  it,)  and 
sometimes  she  scolded  herself  so  severely  as  to  bring 
tears  into  her  eyes,  and  once  she  remembered  trying  to 
box  her  own  ears  for  having  cheated  herself  in  a  game 
of  croquet  she  was  playing  against  herself,  for  this  cu- 
rious child  was  very  fond  of  pretending  to  be  two  peo- 
ple. "  But  it's  no  use  now,"  thought  poor  Alice,  "  to 
pretend  to  be  two  people !  Why,  there's  hardly  enough 
of  me  left  to  make  one  respectable  person !  ' 

Soon  her  eye  fell  on  a  little  glass  box  that  was  ly- 
ing under  the  table :  she  opened  it,  and  found  in  it  a 
very  small  cake,  on  which  the  words  "  EAT  ME ': 
were  beautifully  marked  in  currants.  "  Well,  I'll  eat 
it,"  said  Alice,  "  and  if  it  makes  me  grow  larger,  I  can 
reach  the  key ;  and  if  it  makes  me  grow  smaller,  I  can 


DOWN  THE  RABBIT-HOLE. 


15 


creep  under  the  door ;  so  either  way  I'll  get  into  the 
garden,  and  I  don't  care  which  happens !  " 

She  ate  a  little  bit,  and  said  anxiously  to  herself, 
"  Which  way  ?  Which  way  ? ''  holding  her  hand  on 
the  top  of  her  head  to  feel  which  way  it  was  growing, 
and  she  was  quite  surprised  to  find  that  she  remained 
the  same  size:  to  be  sure,  this  is  what  generally  hap- 
pens when  one  eats  cake,  but  Alice  had  got  so  much 
into  the  way  of  expecting  nothing  but  out-of-the-way 
things  to  happen,  that  it  seemed  quite  dull  and  stupid 
for  life  to  go  on  in  the  common  way. 

So  she  set  to  work,  and  very  soon  finished  off  the 
cake. 


* 


■» 


* 


* 


* 


* 


-x- 


* 


■* 


■» 


* 


CHAPTER  II. 


THE   POOL   OF   TEAKS. 


"  Cukiouser  and  euriouser!"  cried  Alice  (she  was 
so  much  surprised,  that  for  the  moment  she  quite  for- 
got how  to  speak  good  English)  ;  "  now  I'm  opening 
out  like  the  largest  telescope  that  ever  was !  Good-bye, 
feet!'  (for  when  she  looked  down  at  her  feet,  they 
seemed  to  be  almost  out  of  sight,  they  were  getting  so 
far  off).  "  Oh,  my  poor  little  feet,  I  wonder  who  will 
put  on  your  shoes  and  stockings  for  you  now,  dears  ? 
I'm  sure  /  shan't  be  able !  I  shall  be  a  great  deal 
too  far  off  to  trouble  myself  about  you ;  you  must  man- 
age the  best  way  you  can ; — but  I  must  be  kind  to 
them,"  thought  Alice,  "  or  perhaps  they  won't  walk 
the  way  I  want  to  go!  Let  me  see:  I'll  give  them  a 
new  pair  of  boots  every  Christmas." 

And  she  went  on  planning  to  herself  how  she  would 
manage  it.  "  They  must  go  by  the  carrier,"  she 
thought ;  "  and  how  funny  it'll  seem,  sending  presents 
to  one's  own  feet !  And  how  odd  the  directions  will 
look ! 

Alice's  Rigid  Foot,  Esq., 
Hearthrug, 

near  the  Fender, 

(with  Alice's  love.) 

Oh,  dear,  what  nonsense  I'm  talking !  " 

Just   at   this  moment  her  head   struck   against   the 
roof  of  the  hall:  in  fact,  she  was  now  rather  more  than 
16 


THE  POOL  OF  TEARS. 


17 


18  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

nine  feet  high,  and  she  at  once  took  up  the  little  golden 
key  and  hurried  off  to  the  garden  door. 

Poor  Alice!  It  was  as  much  as  she  could  do,  lying 
down  on  one  side,  to  look  through  into  the  garden 
with  one  eye;  but  to  get  through  was  more  hopeless 
than  ever:  she  sat  down  and  began  to  cry  again. 

"  You  ought  to  be  ashamed  of  yourself,"  said  Alice, 
"  a  great  girl  like  yon,"  (she  might  well  say  this,)  "  to 
go  on  crying  in  this  way!  Stop  this  moment,  I  tell 
you !  '  But  she  went  on  all  the  same,  shedding  gallons 
of  tears,  until  there  was  a  large  pool  all  round  her, 
about  four  inches  deep  and  reaching  half  down  the  hall. 

After  a  time  she  heard  a  little  pattering  of  feet  in 
the  distance,  and  she  hastily  dried  her  eyes  to  see  what 
was  coming.  It  was  the  White  Rabbit  returning,  splen- 
didly dressed,  with  a  pair  of  white  kid  gloves  in  one 
hand  and  a  large  fan  in  the  other:  he  came  trotting 
along  in  a  great  hurry,  muttering  to  himself  as  he 
came,  "  Oh  !  the  Duchess,  the  Duchess!  Oh,  won't  she 
be  savage  if  I've  kept  her  waiting!  '  Alice  felt  so  des- 
perate that  she  wras  ready  to  ask  help  of  any  one ;  so, 
when  the  Rabbit  came  near  her,  she  began,  in  a  low, 

timid   voice,    "  If  you   please,    sir "      The    Rabbit 

started  violently,  dropped  the  white  kid  gloves  and  the 
fan,  and  skurried  away  into  the  darkness  as  hard  as  he 
could  go. 

Alice  took  up  the  fan  and  gloves  and,  as  the  hall  was 
very  hot,  she  kept  fanning  herself  all  the  time  she 
went  on  talking :  "  Dear,  dear !  How  queer  everything 
is  to-day!  And  yesterday  things  went  on  just  as  usual. 
I  wonder  if  I've  been  changed  in  the  night  ?  Let  me 
think:  was  I  the  same  when  I  got  up  this  morning? 
I  almost  think  I  can  remember  feeling  a  little  differ- 
ent. But  if  I'm  not  the  same,  the  next  question  is, 
Who  in  the  world  am  I  ?    Ah,  that's  the  great  puzzle !  " 


THE  POOL  OF  TEARS.  19 

And  she  began  thinking  over  all  the  children  she  knew, 
that  were  of  the  same  age  as  herself  to  see  if  she  could 
have  been  changed  for  anv  of  them. 

"  I'm  sure  I'm  not  Ada,"   she  said,   "  for  her  hair 
goes  in  such  long  ringlets,  and  mine  doesn't  go  in  ring- 


lets, at  all,  and  I'm  sure  I  can't  be  Mabel,  for  I  know 
all  sorts  of  things,  and  she,  oh!  she  knows  such  a  very 
little!  Besides,  she's  she,  and  I'm  I,  and — oh  dear, 
how  puzzling  it  all  is !  I'll  try  if  I  know  all  the  things 
I  used  to  know.  Let  me  see:  four  times  five  is  twelve, 
and  four  times  six  is  thirteen,  and  four  times  seven  is 


20    ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

— oh  dear !  I  shall  never  e;et  to  twenty  at  that  rate ! 
However,  the  Multiplication  Table  don't  signify:  let's 
try  Geography.  London  is  the  capital  of  Paris,  and 
Paris  is  the  capital  of  Rome,  and  Pome,  no,  that's  all 
wrong,  I'm  certain !  I  must  have  been  changed  for 
Mabel !  I'll  try  and  say  '  How  doth  the  little — ' :'  and 
she  crossed  her  hands  on  her  lap,  as  if  she  were  saying 
lessons,  and  began  to  repeat  it,  but  her  voice  sounded 
hoarse  and  strange,  and  the  words  did  not  come  the 
same  as  they  used  to  do : — 

"  How  doth   the  little  crocodile 
Improve  his  shining  tail, 
And  pour  the  waters  of  the  Nile 
On  every  golden  scale! 

Hoiv  cheerfully  he  seems  to  grin, 
How  neatly  spreads  his  claws, 

And  welcomes  little  fishes  in 
With  gently  smiling  jaws!" 

"  I'm  sure  those  are  not  the  right  words,"  said  poor 
Alice,  and  her  eves  filled  with  tears  again  as  she  went 
on,  "  I  must  be  Mabel  after  all,  and  I  shall  have  to 
go  and  live  in  that  poky  little  house,  and  have  next 
to  no  tovs  to  play  with,  and  oh  !  ever  so  many  lessons 
to  learn !  Xo,  I've  made  up  my  mind  about  it :  if 
I'm  Mabel,  I'll  stay  down  here !  It'll  be  no  use  their 
putting  their  heads  down  and  saying,  '  Come  up  again, 
dear !  '  I  shall  only  look  up  and  say,  '  Who  am  I,  then  ? 
Tell  me  that  first,  and  then,  if  I  like  being  that  person, 
I'll  come  up :  if  not,  I'll  stay  down  here  till  I'm  some- 
body else  ' — but,  oh  dear!  "  cried  Alice,  with  a  sudden 
burst  of  tears,  "  I  do  wish  they  would  put  their  heads 
down !    I  am  so  very  tired  of  being  all  alone  here  !  ' 

As  she  said  this,  she  looked  down  at  her  hands,  and 


THE  POOL  OF  TEARS.  o} 

was  surprised  to  see  that  she  had  put  on  one  of  the 
Rabbit's  little  white  kid  gloves  while  she  was  talking. 
"  How  can  I  have  done  that  %  "  she  thought  "  I  must 
be  growing  small  again."  She  got  up  and  went  to  the 
table  to  measure  herself  by  it,  and  found  that,  as  nearly 
as  she  could  guess,  she  was  now  about  two  feet  high, 
and  was  going  on  shrinking  rapidly;  she  soon  found 
out  that  the  cause  of  this  was  the  fan  she  was  holding, 
and  she  dropped  it  hastily,  just  in  time  to  save  herself 
from  shrinking  away  altogether. 

"  That  was  a  narrow  escape !  ' '  said  Alice,  a  good 
deal  frightened  at  the  sudden  change,  but  very  glad  to 
find  herself  still  in  existence ;,  "  and  now  for  the  gar- 
den !  "and  she  ran  with  all  speed  back  to  the  little 
door :  but  alas !  the  little  door  was  shut  again,  and  the 
little  golden  key  was  lying  on  the  glass  table  as  be- 
fore, "  and  things  are  worse  than  ever,"  thought  the 
poor  child,  "  for  I  never  was  so  small  as  this  before, 
never !     And  I  declare  it's  too  bad,  that  it  is !  ' 

As  she  said  these  words  her  foot  slipped,  and  in 
another  moment,  splash !  she  was  up  to  her  chin  in  salt 
water.  Her  first  idea  was  that  she  had  somehow  fallen 
into  the  sea,  "  and  in  that  case  I  can  go  back  by  rail- 
way," she  said  to  herself.  (Alice  had  been  to  the  sea- 
side once  in  her  life,  and  had  come  to  the  general  con- 
clusion, that  wherever  you  go  to  on  the  English  coast 
you  find  a  number  of  bathing  machines  in  the  sea,  some 
children  digging  in  the  sand  with  wooden  spades,  then 
a  row  of  lodging  houses,  and  behind  them  a  railway 
station.  However,  she  soon  made  out  that  she.  was  in 
the  pool  of  tears  which  she  had  wept  when  she  was  nine 
feet  high. 

"  I  wish  I  hadn't  cried  so  much !  "  said  Alice,  as 
she  swam  about,  trying  to  find  her  way  out.  "  I  shall 
be  punished  for  it  now,  I  suppose,  by  being  drowned  in 


22 


ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 


mj  own  tears !  That  will  be  a  queer  thing,  to  be  sure ! 
However,  everything  is  queer  to-day." 

Just  then  she  heard  something  splashing  about  in 
the  pool  a  little  way  off,  and  she  swam  nearer  to  make 
out  what  it  was:  at  first,  she  thought  it  must  be  a 
walrus  or  hippopotamus,  but  then  she  remembered  how 
small  she  was  now,  and  she  soon  made  out  that  it  was 
only  a  mouse,  that  had  slipped  in  like  herself. 

"  Would  it  be  of  any  use,  now,"  thought  Alice,  "  to 
speak  to  this  mouse  ?  Everything  is  so  out-of-the-way 
down  here,  that  I  should  think  very  likely  it  can  talk: 


at  any  rate  there's  no  harm  in  trying."  So  she  began : 
"O  Mouse,  do  you  know  the  way  out  of  this  pool? 
I  am  very  tired  of  swimming  about  here,  O  Mouse !  ' 
(Alice  thought  this  must  be  the  right  way  of  speaking 
to  a  mouse:  she  had  never  done  such  a  thing  before, 
but  she  remembered  having  seen  in  her  brother's  Latin 
Grammar,  "  A  mouse— of  a  mouse — to  a  mouse — a 
mouse — O  mouse!  ")  The  Mouse  looked  at  her  rather 
inquisitively,  and  seemed  to  her  to  wink  with  one  of  its 
little  eves,  but  it  said  nothing. 

"  Perhaps  it  doesn't  understand  English,"   thought 


THE  POOL  OF  TEARS.  23 

Alice;  "  I  daresay  it's  a  French  mouse,  come  over  with 
William  the  Conqueror."  (For,  with  all  her  knowl- 
edge of  history,  Alice  had  no  very  clear  notion  how 
long  ago  anything  had  happened.)  So  she  began  again: 
"  Ou  est  ma  chatte  ?  "  which  was  the  first  sentence  in 
her  French  lesson-book.  The  Mouse  gave  a  sudden 
leap  out  of  the  water,  and  seemer  to  quiver  all  over 
with  fright.  "  Oh,  I  beg  your  pardon  !  "  cried  Alice, 
hastily,  afraid  that  she  had  hurt  the  poor  animal's  feel- 
ings.    "  I  quite  forgot  you  didn't  like  cats." 

"  ~Not  like  cats !  "  cried  the  Mouse,  in  a  shrill,  pas- 
sionate voice.     "  Would  you  like  cats  if  you  were  me  ?  " 

"  Well,  perhaps  not,"  said  Alice,  in  a  soothing  tone : 
"  don't  be  angry  about  it.  And  yet  I  wish  I  could  show 
you  our  cat  Dinah :  I  think  you'd  take  a  fancy  to  cats 
if  you  could  only  see  her.  She  is  such  a  dear  quiet 
thing,"  Alice  went  on,  half  to  herself,  as  she  swam 
lazily  about  in  the  pool,  "  and  she  sits  purring  so  nicely 
by  the  fire,  licking  her  paws  and  washing  her  face — and 
she  is  such  a  nice  soft  thing  to  nurse — and  she's  such 
a  capital  one  for  catching  mice — oh,  I  beg  your  par- 
don !  ':  cried  Alice  again,  for  this  time  the  Mouse 
was  bristling  all  over,  and  she  felt  certain  it  must  be 
really  offended.  "  We  won't  talk  about  her  any  more 
if  you'd  rather  not." 

"  We,  indeed !  "  cried  the  Mouse,  who  was  trembling 
down  to  the  end  of  his  tail.  "  As  if  I  would  talk  on 
such  a  subject!  Our  family  always  hated  cats:  nasty, 
low,  vulgar  things !  Don't  let  me  hear  the  name 
again !  " 

"  I  won't  indeed !  "  said  Alice,  in  a  great  hurry  to 
change  the  subject  of  conversation.  "  Are  you — are 
you  fond — of — of  dogs  ?  "  The  mouse  did  not  answer, 
so  Alice  went  on  eagerly :  "  There  is  such  a  nice  little 
dog  near  our  house  I  should  like  to  show  you !     A 


24 


ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 


little  bright-eyed  terrier,  you  know,  with  oh  !  such  long 
curly,  brown  hair !  And  it'll  fetch  things  when  you 
throw  them,  and  it'll  sit  up  and  beg  for  its  dinner,  and 
all  sorts  of  things — I  can't  remember  half  of  them — 
and  it  belongs  to  a  farmer,  you  know,  and  he  says  it's 
so  useful,  it's  worth  a  hundred  pounds!  lie  says  it 
kills  all  the  rats  and — oh  dear!  "  cried  Alice,  in  a  sor- 
rowful tone.      ''I'm   afraid  I've  offended   it   again!* 


For  the  Mouse  was  swimming  awav  from  her  as  hard 
as  it  could  go,  and  making  quite  a  commotion  in  the 
pool  as  it  went. 

So  she  called  softlv  after  it:  "Mouse,  dear!  Do 
come  back  again,  and  we  won't  talk  about  cats  or  dogs, 
either,  if  you  don't  like  them !  '  When  the  Mouse 
heard  this,  it  turned  round  and  swam  slowly  back  to 
her:  its  face  was  quite  pale  (with  passion,  Alice 
thought),  and  it  said  in  a  low,  trembling  voice,  "  Let 
us  get  to  the  shore,  and  then  I'll  tell  you  my  history, 
and  you'll  understand  why  it  is  I  hate  cats  and  dogs." 

It  was  high  time  to  go,  for  the  pool  was  getting  quite 


THE  POOL  OF  TEARS. 


25 


crowded  with  the  birds  and  animals  that  had  fallen  into 
it :  there  was  a  Duck  and  a  Dodo,  a  Lory  and  an 
Eaglet,  and  several  other  curious  creatures.  Alice  led 
the  way,  and  the  whole  party  swam  to  the  shore. 


CHAPTER  III.' 


A    CAECUS-RACE    AXD    A    LOXG    TALE. 


They  were  indeed  a  queer-looking  party  that  as- 
sembled on  the  bank — the  birds  with  draggled  feathers, 
the  animals  -with  their  fur  clingina;  close  to  them,  and 
all   dripping  wet,   cross,    and   uncomfortable. 

The  first  question  of  course  was,  how  to  got  dry 
again :  thev  had  a  consultation  about  this,  and  after 
a  few  minutes  it  seemed  quite  natural  to  Alice  to  find 
herself  talking  familiarly  with  them,  as  if  she  had 
known  them  all  her  life.  Indeed,  she  had  quite  a 
lon<r  argument  with  the  Lory,  who  at  last  turned  sulky, 
and  would  only  sav,  "  I  am  older  than  vou,  and  must 
know  better;"  and  this  xVlice  would  not  allow,  with- 
out knowing  how  old  it  was,  and  as  the  Lory  posi- 
tively refused  to  tell  its  age,  there  was  no  more  to  be 
said. 

26 


A  CAUCUS-RACE  AND  A  LONG  TALE.      27 

At  last  the  Mouse,  who  seemed  to  be  a  person  of 
some  authority  among  them,  called  out,  "  Sit  down,  all 
of  you,  and  listen  to  me !  I'll  soon  make  you  dry 
enough  !  '  They  all  sat  down  at  once,  in  a  large  ring, 
with  the  Mouse  in  the  middle.  Alice  kept  her  eyes 
anxiously  fixed  on  it,  for  she  felt  sure  she  would  catch 
a  bad  cold  if  she  did  not  get  dry  very  soon. 

"  Ahem !  "  said  the  Mouse,  with  an  important  air, 
"  are  you  all  ready  ?  This  is  the  driest  thing  I  know. 
Silence  all  round,  if  you  please !  '  William  the  Con- 
queror, whose  cause  was  favored  by  the  pope,  was 
soon  submitted  to  by  the  English,  who  wanted  leaders, 
and  had  been  of  late  much  accustomed  to  usurpation 
and  conquest.  EdAvin  and  Morcar,  the  earls  of  Mercia 
and  Xorthumbria — '  " 

"  Ugh  !  "  said  the  Lory,  with   a  shiver. 

"  I  beg  your  pardon  ? ':'  said  the  Mouse,  frowning, 
"but  very  politely :  "  Did  you  speak  ?  " 

"  Kot  I !  "  said  the  Lory,  hastily. 

"  I  thought  you  did,"  said  the  Mouse. — "  I  proceed. 
'  Edwin  and  Morcar,  the  earls  of  Mercia  and  ISTorth- 
umbria,  declared  for  him ;  and  even  Stigand,  the  pa- 
triotic archbishop  of  Canterbury,  found  it  advis- 
able—' " 

"  Found  what?  "  said  the  Duck. 

"  Eound  it"  the  Mouse  replied,  rather  crossly :  "  of 
course  you  know  what  '  it '  means." 

"  I  know  what  '  it '  means  well  enough  when  I  find 
a  thing,"  said  the  Duck :  "  it's  generally  a  frog  or  a 
worm.  The  question  is,  what  did  the  archbishop 
find  ?  " 

The  Mouse  did  not  notice  this  question,  but  hur- 
riedly went  on,  "  ' — found  it  advisable  to  go  with  Ed- 
gar Atheling  to  meet  William  and  offer  him  the  crown. 
William's   conduct   at   first   was   moderate.      But   the 


s 


2S  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

insolence  of  his  Xormans — '  How  are  yon  getting  on 
now,  my  dear?'1  it  continued,  turning  to  Alice  as  it 
poke. 

'  As  wet  as  ever,"  said  Alice,  in  a  melancholy  tone: 
"  it,  doesn't  seem  to  dry  me  at  all." 

"  In  that  case,"  said  the  Dodo,  solemnly,  rising  to  its 
feet,  "  I  move  that  the  meeting  adjourn,  for  the  imme- 
diate adoption  of  more  energetic  remedies — " 

"  Speak  English !  "  said  the  Eaglet.  "  I  don't  know 
the  meaning  of  half  those  long  words,  and  what's 
more,  I  don't  believe  vou  do  either !  '  And  the  Eaglet 
bent  down  its  head  to  hide  a  smile :  some  of  the  other 
birds  tittered  audibly. 

"  What  I  was  going  to  say,"  said  the  Dodo,  in  an 
offended  tone,  "  was,  that  the  best  thing  to  get  us  dry 
would  be  a  Caucus-race." 

"  What  is  a  Caucus-race  ?  "  said  Alice ;  not  that  she 
much  wanted  to  know,  but  the  Dodo  had  paused  as  if 
it  thought  that  somebody  ought  to  speak,  and  no  one 
else  seemed  inclined  to  say  anything. 

"  Why,"  said  the  Dodo,  "  the  best  way  to  explain 
it  is  to  do  it."  (And  as  you  might  like  to  try  the  thing 
yourself,  some  winter  day,  I  will  tell  you  how  the  Dodo 
managed  it.) 

First  it  marked  out  a  race-course,  in  a  sort  of  circle, 
("  the  exact  shape  doesn't  matter,"  it  said,)  and  then 
all  the  party  were  placed  along  the  course,  here  and 
there.  There  was  no  "  One,  two,  three,  and  away," 
but  they  began  running  when  they  liked,  and  left  off 
when  they  liked,  so  that  it  was  not  easy  to  know  when 
the  race  was  over.  However,  when  they  had  been  run- 
ning half-an-hour  or  so,  and  were  quite  dry  again,  the 
Dodo  suddenly  called  out,  "  The  race  is  over !  ' '  and 
they  all  crowded  round  it,  panting,  and  asking,  "  But 
who  has  won  ?  " 


A  CAUCUS-RACE  AND  A  LONG  TALE. 


29 


This  question  the  Dodo  could  not  answer  without  a 
great  deal  of  thought,  and  it  sat  for  a  long  time  with 
one  finger  pressed  upon  its  forehead,  (the  position  in 
which  you  usually  see  Shakespeare,  in  the  pictures  of 
him,)  while  the  rest  waited  in  silence.  At  last  the 
Dodo  said,  "  Everybody  has  won,  and  all  must  have 
prizes." 


"  But  who  is  to  give  the  prizes  ?  "  quite  a  chorus  of 
voices  asked. 

"  Why,  site,  of  course,"  said  the  Dodo,  pointing  to 
Alice  with  one  finger;  and  the  whole  party  at  once 
crowded  round  her,  calling  out  in  a  confused  way, 
"  Prizes !  Prizes !  " 


30  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

Alice  had  no  idea  what  to  do,  and  in  despair  she  put 
her  hand  into  her  pocket,  and  pulled  out  a  box  of  com- 
fits, (luckily  the  salt  water  had  not  got  into  it,)  and 
handed  them  round  as  prizes.  There  was  exactly  one 
a-piece,  all  round. 

"  But  she  must  have  a  prize  herself,  you  know,"  said 
the  Mouse. 

"  Of  course,"  the  Dodo  replied,  very  gravely.  "  What 
else  have  you  got  in  your  pocket  ?  "  he  went  on,  turning 
to  Alice. 

"  Only  a  thimble,"  said  Alice,  sadly. 

"  Hand  it  over  here,"  said  the  Dodo. 

Then  they  all  crowded  round  her  once  more,  while 
the  Dodo  solemnly  presented  the  thimble,  saying,  "  We 
beg  your  acceptance  of  this  elegant  thimble ;  '  and, 
when  it  had  finished  this  short  speech,  they  all  cheered. 

Alice  thought  the  whole  thing  very  absurd,  but  they 
all  looked  so  grave  that  she  did  not  dare  to  laugh,  and 
as  she  could  not  think  of  anything  to  say,  she  simply 
bowed,  and  took  the  thimble,  looking  as  solemn  as  she 
could. 

The  next  thing  was  to  eat  the  comfits:  this  caused 
some  noise  and  confusion,  as  the  large  birds  complained 
that  they  could  not  taste  theirs,  and  the  small  ones 
choked  and  had  to  be  patted  on  the  back.  However,  it 
was  over  at  last,  and  they  sat  down  again  in  a  ring, 
and  besrged  the  Mouse  to  tell  them  something  more. 

"  You  promised  to  tell  me  your  history,  you  know," 
said  Alice,  "  and  why  it  is  vou  hate — C  and  D,"  she 
added  in  a  whisper,  half  afraid  that  it  would  be  of- 
fended again. 

"  Mine  is  a  long  and  sad  tale !  "  said  the  Mouse, 
turning  to  Alice,  and  sighing. 

"  It  is  a  long  tail,  certainly,"  said  Alice,  looking 
down  with  wonder  at  the  Mouse's  tail;  "but  why  do 


A  CAUCUS-RACE  AND  A  LONG  TALE.      31 

you  call  it  sad  ?  "  And  she  kept  on  puzzling  about  it 
while  the  Mouse  was  speaking,  so  that  her  idea  of  the 
tale  was  something  like  this : • 

«  Fury  said  to 

a  mouse,  That 
he  met  in 
the  house, 
'  Let  us 
both  go 
to  law  : 
7  will 
prosecute 
you. — 
Come,  I'll 
take  no 
denial  ; 
We  must 

have  a  trial : 

For  really 
this  morning 
I've 
nothing 
to  do.' 
Said  the 
mouse  to 
the  cur, 

'  Such  a  trial, 
dear  sir, 
With  no 
jury  or 
judge, 
would  be 
wasting 

our  breath. 
I'll  be 
judge, 
I'll  be 
jury,'  Said 
cunning 
old  Fury; 
4  I'll  try 

the  whole 
cause 
and 
condemn 
you 
to 
death.' 


32  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

"  You  are  not  attending!  "  said  the  Mouse  to  Alice, 
severely.     "  What  are  you  thinking  of  ?  " 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,"  said  Alice,  very  humbly : 
"  you  had  got  to  the  fifth  bend,  I  think  ?  " 

"I  had  not!''  cried  the  Mouse,  sharply  and  very 
angrily. 

"  A  knot!  "  said  Alice,  always  ready  to  make  herself 
useful,  and  looking  anxiously  about  her.  "  Oh,  do  let 
me  help  to  undo  it !  " 

"  I  shall  do  nothing  of  the  sort,"  said  the  Mouse, 
getting  up  and  walking  away.  "  You  insult  me  by 
talking  such  nonsense !  " 

"I  didn't  mean  it!'  pleaded  poor  Alice.  "But 
you're  so  easily  offended,  you  know !  " 

The  Mouse  only  growled  in  reply. 

"Please  come  back,  and  finish  your  story!"  Alice 
called  after  it;  and  the  others  all  joined  in  chorus, 
"  Yes,  please  do !  "  hut  the  Mouse  only  shook  its  head 
impatiently,  and  walked  a  little  quicker. 

"  What  a  pity  it  wouldn't  stay !  "  sighed  the  Lory, 
as  soon  as  it  was  quite  out  of  sight ;  and  an  old  crab 
took  the  opportunity  of  saying  to  her  daughter,  "  Ah, 
mv  dear !  Let  this  be  a  lesson  to  vou  never  to  lose 
your  temper!"  "Hold  your  tongue,  Ma!"  said  the 
young  crab,  a  little  snappishly.  "  You're  enough  to  try 
the  patience  of  an  oyster !  " 

"  I  wish  I  had  our  Dinah  here,  I  know  I  do !  "  said 
Alice  aloud,  addressing  nobody  in  particular.  "  She'd 
soon  fetch  it  back !  " 

"  And  who  is  Dinah,  if  I  might  venture  to  ask  the 
question  %  "  said  the  Lory. 

Alice  replied  eagerly,  for  she  was  always  ready  to 
talk  about  her  pet.  "  Dinah's  our  cat.  And  she's  such 
a  capital  one  for  catching  mice,  you  can't  think !     And 


A  CAUCUS-RACE  AND  A  LONG  TALE.      3£ 

oh,  I  wish  you  could  see  her  after  the  birds!  Why, 
she'll  eat  a  little  bird  as  soon  as  look  at  it !  " 

This  speech  caused  a  remarkable  sensation  among  the 
party.  Some  of  the  birds  hurried  off  at  once:  one  old 
magpie  began  wrapping  itself  up  very  carefully,  re- 
marking, "  I  really  must  be  getting  home ;  the  night 
air  doesn't  suit  my  throat!  "  and  a  canary  called  out 
in  a  trembling  voice  to  its  children,  "  Come  away,  my 
dears !  It's  high  time  you  were  all  in  bed !  "  On  va- 
rious pretexts  they  all  moved  off,  and  Alice  was  soon 
left  alone. 

''  I  wish  I  hadn't  mentioned  Dinah !  "  she  said  to 
herself  in  a  melancholy  tone.  "  Nobody  seems  to  like 
her,  down  here,  and  I'm  sure  she's  the  best  cat  in  the 
world !  Oh,  my  dear  Dinah !  I  wonder  if  I  shall  ever 
see  you  any  more !  '  And  here  poor  Alice  began  to 
cry  again,  for  she  felt  very  lonely  and  low-spirited.  In 
a  little  while,  however,  she  again  heard  a  little  patter- 
ing of  footsteps  in  the  distance,  and  she  looked  up 
eagerly,  half  hoping  that  the  Mouse  had  changed  his 
mind  and  was  coming  back  to  finish  his  story. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

THE    RABBIT    SENDS    IX    A    LITTLE    BILL. 

It  was  the  "White  Rabbit,  trotting  slowly  back  again, 
and  looking;  anxiously  about  as  it  went,  as  if  it  had  lost 
something;  and  she  heard  it  muttering  to  itself,  "  The 
Duchess  !  The  Duchess  !  Oh.  my  dear  paws  !  Oh,  my 
fur  and  whiskers!  She'll  get  me  executed,  as  sure  as 
ferrets  are  ferrets!  Where  can  I  have  dropped  them, 
I  wonder !  v  Alice  guessed  in  a  moment  that  it  was 
looking  for  the  fan  and  the  pair  of  white  kid  gloves, 
and  she  very  a'ood-naturedlv  began  hunting  about  for 
them,  but  thev  were  nowhere  to  be  seen — everything 
seemed  to  have  changed  since  her  swim  in  the  pool, 
and  the  great  hall,  with  the  glass  table  and  the  little 
door,  had  vanished  completely. 

Very  soon  the  Rabbit  noticed  xVliee,  as  she  went 
hunting  about,  and  called  out  to  her  in  an  angry  tone, 
"  WTiy,  Mary  Ann,  what  are  you  doing  out  here  (  Run 
home  this  moment,  and  fetch  me  a  pair  of  gloves  and  a 
fan !  Quick,  now !  "  And  Alice  was  so  much  fright- 
ened that  she  ran  off  at  once  in  the  direction  it  pointed 
to,  without  trying  to  explain  the  mistake  that  it  had 
made. 

"  He  took  me  for  his  housemaid,"  she  said  to  her- 
self as  she  ran.  "  How  surprised  he'll  be  when  he  finds 
out  who  I  am  !  But  I'd  better  take  him  his  fan  and 
gloves — that  is,  if  I  can  find  them."  As  she  said  this, 
she  came  upon  a  neat  little  house,  on  the  door  of  which 
34 


THE  RABBIT  SENDS  IN  A  LITTLE  BILL.  35 

was  a  bright  brass  plate  with  the  name  "  W.  RAB- 
BIT/' engraved  upon  it.  She  went  in  without  knock- 
ing, and  hurried  upstairs,  in  great  fear  lest  she  should 
meet  the  real  Mary  Ann,  and  be  turned  out  of  the 
house  before  she  had  found  the  fan  and  gloves. 

"  How  queer  it  seems,"   Alice  said  to  herself,   "  to 
be  going  messages  for  a  rabbit !     I  suppose  Dinah'll  be 


sending  me  on  messages  next !  "  And  she  began  fancy- 
ing the  sort  of  thing  that  would  happen :  "  '  Miss  Alice  I 
Come  here  directly,  and  get  ready  for  your  walk ! y 
'  Coming  in  a  minute,  nurse !  But  I've  got  to  watch 
this  mouse-hole  till  Dinah  comes  back,  and  see  that 
the  mouse  doesn't  get  out.'  Only  I  don't  think,"  Alice 
went  on,  "  that  they'd  let  Dinah  stop  in  the  house  if  it 
began  ordering  people  about  like  that !  " 

By  this  time  she  had  found  her  way  into  a  tidy  little 
room  with  a  table  in  the  window,  and  on  it  (as  she  had 
hoped)  a  fan  and  two  or  three  pairs  of  tiny  white  kid 


36  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

gloves :  she  took  up  the  fan  and  a  pair  of  the  gloves, 
and  was  just  going  to  leave  the  room  when  her  eye  fell 
upon  a  little  bottle  that  stood  near  the  looking-glass. 
There  was  no  label  this  time  with  the  words  "  DRINK 
ME,"  but  nevertheless  she  uncorked  it  and  put  it  to  her 
lips.  "  I  know  something  interesting  is  sure  to  hap- 
pen," she  said  to  herself,  "  whenever  I  eat  or  drink 
anything ;  so  I'll  just  see  what  this  bottle  does.  I  do 
hope  it'll  make  me  grow  large  again,  for  really  I'm 
quite  tired  of  being  such  a  tiny  little  thing !  " 

It  did  so  indeed,  and  much  sooner  than  she  had  ex- 
pected :  before  she  had  drunk  half  the  bottle,  she  found 
her  head  pressing  against  the  ceiling,  and  had  to  stoop 
to  save  her  neck  from  being  broken.  She  hastily  put 
down  the  bottle,  saying  to  herself,  "  That's  quite  enough 
— I  hope  I  shan't  grow  any  more — As  it  is,  I  can't  get 
out  at  the  door — I  do  wish  I  hadn't  drunk  quite  so 
much !  " 

Alas !  It  was  too  late  to  wish  that !  She  went  on 
growing  and  growing,  and  very  soon  had  to  kneel  down 
on  the  floor :  in  another  minute  there  was  not  even  room 
for  this,  and  she  tried  the  effect  of  lying  down,  with  one 
elbow  against  the  door,  and  the  other  arm  curled  round 
her  head.  Still  she  went  on  growing,  and,  as  a  last  re- 
source, she  put  one  arm  out  of  the  window,  and  one 
foot  up  the  chimney,  and  said  to  herself,  "  Now,  I 
can  do  no  more,  whatever  happens.  What  will  become 
of  me  ?  " 

Luckily  fof  Alice,  the  little  magic  bottle  had  now  had 
its  full  effect,  and  she  grew  no  larger:  still  it  was  very 
uncomfortable,  and,  as  there  seemed  to  be  no  sort  of 
chance  of  her  ever  getting  out  of  the  room  again,  no 
wonder  she  felt  unhappy. 

"  It  was  much  pleasanter  at  home,"  thought  poor 
Alice,   "  when  one  wasn't  always  growing  larger  and 


THE  RABBIT  SENDS  IN  A  LITTLE  BILL.  37 

smaller,  and  being  ordered  about  by  mice  and  rabbits. 
I  almost  wish  I  hadn't  gone  down  that  rabbit-hole — 
and  yet — and  yet — it's  rather  curious,  you  know,  this 
sort  of  life !  I  do  wonder  what  can  have  happened  to 
me !  When  I  used  to  read  fairy  tales,  I  fancied  that 
kind  of  thing  never  happened,  and  now  here  I  am  in 
the  middle  of  one !  There  ought  to  be  a  book  written 
about  me,  that  there  ought !  And  when  I  grow  up,  I'll 
write  one — but  I'm  grown  up  now,"  she  added  in  a 
sorrowful  tone :  "  at  least  there's  no  room  to  grow  up 
any  more  here." 

"  But,  then,"  thought  Alice,  "  shall  I  never  get  any 
older  than  I  am  now  ?  That'll  be  a  comfort,  one  way — 
never  to  be  an  old  woman — but  then — always  to  have 
lessons  to  learn!     Oh,  I  shouldn't  like  that!" 

"  Oh,  you  foolish  Alice !  "  she  answered  herself. 
"  How  can  you  learn  lessons  in  here  ?  Why,  there's 
hardly  room  for  you,  and  no  room  at  all  for  any  lesson 
books'!  " 

And  so  she  went  on,  taking  first  one  side  and  then 
the  other,  and  making  quite  a  conversation  of  it  alto- 
gether, but  after  a  few  minutes  she  heard  a  voice  out- 
side, and  stopped  to  listen. 

"  Mary  Ann  !  Mary  Ann  !  "  said  the  voice,  "  fetch 
me  my  gloves  this  moment !  "  Then  came  a  little  pat- 
tering of  feet  on  the  stairs.  Alice  knew  it  was  the 
Rabbit  coming  to  look  for  her,  and  she  trembled  till 
she  shook  the  house,  quite  forgetting  that  she  was  now 
about  a  thousand  times  as  large  as  the  Rabbit,  and  had 
no  reason  to  be  afraid  of  it. 

Presently  the  Rabbit  came  up  to  the  door,  and  tried 
to  open  it,  but  as  the  door  opened  inwards,  and  Alice's 
elbow  was  pressed  hard  against  it,  that  attempt  proved 
a  failure.  Alice  heard  it  say  to  itself,  "  Then  I'll  go 
round  and  get  in  at  the  window." 


38 


ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 


"  That  you  won't !  "  thought  Alice,  and,  after  wait- 
ing till  she  fancied  she  heard  the  Habit  just  under  the 
window,  she  suddenly  spread  out  her  hand,  and  made 
a  snatch  in  the  air.  She  did  not  get  hold  of  anything, 
but  she  heard  a  little  shriek  and  a  fall,  and  a  crash 
of  broken  glass,  from  which  she  concluded  that  it  was 
just  possible  it  had  fallen  into  a  cucumber-frame,  or 
something  of  the  sort. 


Next  came  an  angry  voice — the  Rabbit's — "Pat! 
Pat!  Where  are  you  ?  "  and  then  a  voice  she  had  never 
heard  before,  "  Sure,  then,  I'm  here !  Digging  for  ap- 
ples, yer  honor !  " 

"  Digging  for  apples,  indeed !  "  said  the  Rabbit,  an- 
grily.     "Here!     Come    and   help   me   out   of   this!' 
(Sounds  of  more  broken  glass.) 

"  Now,  tell  me,  Pat,  what's  that  in  the  window  ?  " 


THE  RABBIT  SENDS  IN  A  LITTLE  BILL.  39 

"  Sure,  it's  an  arm,  yer  honor !  "  (He  pronounced 
it  "  arrum.") 

"  An  arm,  you  goose !  Who  ever  saw  one  that  size  ? 
Why,  it  fills  the  whole  window !  " 

"  Sure,  it  does,  yer  honor :  but  it's  an  arm  for  all 
that." 

"  Well,  it's  got  no  business  there,  at  any  rate :  go  and 
take  it  awav !  " 

There  was  a  long  silence  after  this,  and  Alice  could 
only  hear  whispers  now  and  then,  such  as,  "  Sure,  I 
don't  like  it,  yer  honor,  at  all,  at  all !  "  "  Do  as  I  tell 
you,  you  coward !  "  and  at  last  she  spread  out  her  hand 
again  and  made  another  snatch  in  the  air.  This  time 
there  were  two  little  shrieks,  and  more  sounds  of  broken 
glass.  "  What  a  number  of  cucumber  frames  there 
must  be !  "  thought  Alice.  "  I  wonder  what  they'll 
do  next !  As  for  pulling  me  out  of  the  window,  I  only 
wish  they  could.  I'm  sure  I  don't  want  to  stay  in 
here  any  longer  !  " 

She  waited  for  some  time  without  hearing  anything 
more :  at  last  came  a  rumbling  of  little  cart-wheels,  and 
the  sound  of  a  good  many  voices  all  talking  together: 
she  made  out  the  words,  "  Where's  the  other  ladder  ? 
— Why,  I  hadn't  to  bring  but  one :  Bill's  got  the  other 
— Bill  fetch  it  here,  lad ! — Here,  put  'em  up  at  this 
corner — jSTo,  tie  'em  together  first — thev  don't  reach 
half  high  enough  yet — Oh!  they'll  do  well  enough; 
don't  be  particular — Here,  Bill !  catch  hold  of  this  rope 
— Will  the  roof  bear  ? — Mind  that  loose  slate — Oh, 
it's  coming  down!  Heads  below!"  (a  loud  crash) — 
"  'Now,  who  did  that  ? — It  was  Bill,  I  fancy — Who's  to 
go  down  the  chimney? — Nay,  /  shan't!  You  do  it! — 
That  I  won't,  then ! — Bill's  got  to  go  down — Here, 
Bill !  the  master  says  you've  got  to  go  down  the  chim- 
nev!" 


40  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 


THE  RABBIT  SENDS  IN  A  LITTLE  BILL.  41 

"  Oh,  so  Bill's  got  to  come  down  the  chimney,  has 
he  ?  "  said  Alice,  to  herself.  "  Why,  they  seem  to  put 
everything  upon  Bill !  I  wouldn't  be  in  Bill's  place 
for  a  good  deal :  this  fireplace  is  narrow,  to  be  sure, 
but  I  think  I  can  kick  a  little !  " 

She  drew  her  foot  as  far  down  the  chimney  as  she 
could,  and  waited  till  she  heard  a  little  animal  (she 
couldn't  guess  of  what  sort  it  was)  scratching  and 
scrambling  about  in  the  chimney  close  above  her :  then, 
saying  to  herself,  "  This  is  Bill,"  she  gave  one  sharp 
kick,  and  waited  to  see  what  would  happen  next. 

The  first  thing  she  heard  was  a  general  chorus  of 
"  There  goes  Bill !  "  then  the  Rabbit's  voice  alone, 
"  Catch  him,  you  by  the  hedge !  "  then  silence,  and  then 
another  confusion  of  voices — "  Hold  up  his  head — 
Brandy  now — Don't  choke  him — How  was  it,  old  fel- 
low ?     What  happened  to  you  %     Tell  us  all  about  it !  " 

Last  came  a  little  feeble,  squeaking  voice,  ("  That's 
Bill,"  thought  Alice,)  "Well,  I  hardly  know — No 
more,  thank'ye,  I'm  better  now — but  I'm  a  deal  too 
flustered  to  tell  you — all  I  know  is,  something  comes 
at  me  like  a  Jack-in-the-box,  and  up  I  goes  like  a  sky- 
rocket !  " 

"  So  vou  did,  old  fellow !  "  said  the  others. 

"  We  must  burn  the  house  down !  "  said  the  Bab- 
bit's voice,  and  Alice  called  out  as  loud  as  she  could, 
"  If  you  do,  I'll  set  Dinah  at  you !  " 

There  was  a  dead  silence  instantly,  and  Alice  thought 
to  herself,  "  I  wonder  what  they  will  do  next !  If  they 
had  any  sense,  they'd  take  the  roof  off."  After  a  min- 
ute or  two  they  began  moving  about  again,  and  Alice 
heard  the  Rabbit  say,  "  A  barrowful  will  do,  to  be- 
gin with." 

"  A  barrowful  of  what?  "  thought  Alice;  but  she  had 
not  long  to  doubt,  for  the  next  moment  a  shower  of  lit- 


42  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

tie  pebbles  came  rattling  in  at  the  window,  and  some  of 
them  hit  her  in  the  face.  "  I'll  put  a  stop  to  this,"  she 
said  to  herself,  and  shouted  out,  "  You'd  better  not  do 
that  again  !  "  which  produced  another  dead  silence. 

Alice  noticed  with  some  surprise  that  the  pebbles 
were  all  turning  into  little  cakes  as  they  lay  on  the  floor, 
and  a  bright  idea  came  into  her  head.  "  If  I  eat  one  of 
these  cakes,"  she  thought,  "  it's  sure  to  make  some 
change  in  my  size :  and  as  it  can't  possibly  make  me 
larger,  it  must  make  me  smaller,  I  suppose." 

So  she  swallowed  one  of  the  cakes,  and  was  delighted 
to  find  that  she  began  shrinking  directly.  As  soon  as 
she  was  small  enough  to  get  through  the  door,  she  ran 
out  of  the  house,  and  found  quite  a  crowd  of  little  ani- 
mals and  birds  waiting  outside.  The  poor  little  Lizard, 
Bill,  was  in  the  middle,  being  held  up  by  two  guinea- 
pigs,  who  were  giving  it  something  out  of  a  bottle. 
They  all  made  a  rush  at  Alice  the  moment  she  ap- 
peared, but  she  ran  off  as  hard  as  she  could,  and  soon 
found  herself  safe  in  a  thick  wood. 

"  The  first  thing  I've  got  to  do,"  said  Alice  to  her- 
self, as  she  wandered  about  in  the  wood,  "  is  to  grow 
to  my  right  size  again  ;  and  the  second  thing  is  to  find 
my  way  into  that  lovely  garden.  I  think  that  will  be 
the  best  plan." 

It  sounded  an  excellent  plan,  no  doubt,  and  very 
neatly  and  simply  arranged ;  the  only  difficulty  was. 
that  she  had  not  the  smallest  idea  how  to  set  about  it ; 
and  while  she  was  peering  about  anxiously  among  the 
trees,  a  little  sharp  bark  just  over  her  head  made  her 
look  up  in  a  great  hurry. 

An  enormous  puppy  was  looking  down  at  her  with 
large  round  eyes,  and  feebly  stretching  out  one  paw, 
trying  to  touch  her.  "  Poor  little  thing !  "  said  Alice, 
in  a  coaxing  tone,  and  she  tried  hard  to  whistle  to  it, 


THE  RABBIT  SENDS  IN  A  LITTLE  BILL.  43 


but  she  was  terribly  frightened  all  the  time  at  the 
thought  that  it  might  be  hungry,  in  which  ease  it  would 
be  very  likely  to  eat  her  up  in  spite  of  all  her  coaxing. 
Hardly  knowing  what  she  did,  she  picked  up  a  little 
bit  of  stick,  and  held  it  out  to  the  puppy;  whereupon 
the  puppy  jumped  into  the  air  off  all  its  feet  at  once, 
•with  a  yelp  of  delight,  and  rushed  at  the  stick,  and 
made  believe  to  worry  it;  then  Alice  dodged  behind  a 
great  thistle,  to  keep  herself  from  being  run  over,  and, 


44  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

the  moment  she  appeared  on  the  other  side,  the  puppy 
made  another  rush  at  the  stick,  and  tumbled  head  over 
heels  in  its  hurry  to  get  hold  of  it ;  then  Alice,  think- 
ing it  was  very  like  having  a  game  of  play  with  a 
cart  horse,  and  expecting  every  moment  to  be  trampled 
under  its  feet,  ran  round  the  thistle  again;  then  the 
puppy  began  a  series  of  short  charges  at  the  stick,  run- 
ning a  very  little  way  forward  each  time  and  a  long 
way  back,  and  barking  hoarsely  all  the  while,  till  at 
last  it  sat  down  a  good  way  off,  panting,  with  its  tongue 
hanging  out  of  its  mouth,  and  its  great  eyes  half 
shut. 

This  seemed  to  Alice  a  good  opportunity  for  making 
her  escape,  so  she  set  off  at  once,  and  ran  till  she  was 
quite  tired  and  out  of  breath,  and  till  the  puppy's 
bark  sounded  quite  faint  in  the  distance. 

"And  yet  what  a  dear  little  puppy  it  was!"  said 
Alice,  as  she  leant  against  a  buttercup  to  rest  herself, 
and  fanned  herself  with  one  of  the  leaves;  "I  should 
nave  liked  teaching  it  tricks  very  much,  if — if  I'd 
only  been  the  right  size  to  do  it !  Oh,  dear !  I'd  nearly 
forgotten  that  I've  got  to  grow  up  again !  Let  me  see — ■ 
how  is  it  to  be  managed  I  I  suppose  I  ought  to  eat  or 
drink  something  or  other;  but  the  great  question  is, 
what  ?  " 

The  great  question  certainly  was,  what  ?  Alice  looked 
all  round  her  at  the  flowers  and  the  blades  of  grass,  but 
she  could  not  see  anything  that  looked  like  the  right 
thing  to  eat  or  drink  under  the  circumstances.  There 
was  a  large  mushroom  growing  near  her,  about  the 
same  height  as  herself,  and  when  she  had  looked  under 
it,  and  on  both  sides  of  it,  and  behind  it,  it  occurred  to 
her  that  she  might  as  well  look  and  see  what  was  on 
the  top  of  it. 

She  stretched  herself  up  on  tiptoe,  and  peeped  over 


THE  RABBIT  SENDS  IN  A  LITTLE  BILL. 


45 


the  edge  of  the  mushroom,  and  her  eyes  immediately 
met  those  of  a  large  blue  caterpillar,  that  was  sitting 
on  the  top  with  its  arms  folded,  quietly  smoking 
a  long  hookah,  and  taking  not  the  smallest  notice  of 
her  or  of  anything  else. 


CHAPTER  V. 


ADVICE    FROM    A    CATERPILLAR. 


The  Caterpillar  and  Alice  looked  at  each  other  for 
some  time  in  silence :  at  last  the  Caterpillar  took  the 
hookah  out  of  its  mouth,  and  addressed  her  in  a  lan- 
guid, sleepy  voice. 

"Who  are  you?"  said  the  Caterpillar. 

This  was  not  an  encouraging  opening  for  a  conver- 
sation. Alice  replied,  rather  shyly,  "  I — I  hardly 
46 


ADVICE  FROM  A  CATERPILLAR.  47 

know,  sir,  just  at  present — at  least  I  know  who  I  was 
when  I  got  up  this  morning,  but  I  think  I  must  have 
been  changed  several  times  since  then." 

"  What  do  you  mean  by  that  ?  ':  said  the  Cater- 
pillar, sternly.     "  Explain  yourself  !  " 

"  I  can't  explain  myself,  I'm  afraid,  sir,"  said  Alice, 
"  because  I'm  not  myself,  you  see." 

"  I  don't  see,"  said  the  Caterpillar. 

"  I'm  afraid  I  can't  put  it  more  clearly,"  Alice  re- 
plied, very  politely,  "  for  I  can't  understand  it  myself 
to  begin  with ;  and  being  so  many  different  sizes  in  a 
day  is  very  confusing." 

"  It  isn't,"  said  the  Caterpillar. 

"  Well,  perhaps  you  haven't  found  it  so  yet,"  said 
Alice ;  "  but  when  you  have  to  turn  into  a  chrysalis — 
you  will  some  day,  you  know — and  then,  after  that,  into 
a  butterfly,  I  should  think  you'll  feel  it  a  little  queer,, 
won't  you  ?  " 

"  Not  a  bit,"  said  the  Caterpillar. 

"  Well,  perhaps  your  feelings  may  be  different," 
said  Alice ;  "  all  I  know  is,  it  would  feel  very  queer  to* 
me. 

"  You !  '  said  the  Caterpillar,  contemptuouslyr 
"Whoareyow?" 

Which  brought  them  back  again  to  the  beginning 
of  the  conversation.  Alice  felt  a  little  irritated  at  the 
Caterpillar's  making  such  very  short  remarks,  and  she 
drew  herself  up  and  said,  very  gravely,  "  I  think  you 
ought  to  tell  me  who  you  are,  first." 

"  Why  ?  "  said  the  Caterpillar. 

Here  was  another  puzzling  question ;  and,  as  Alice 
could  not  think  of  any  good  reason,  and,  as  the  Cater- 
pillar seemed  to  be  in  a  very  unpleasant  state  of  mindr 
she  turned  away. 


48  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

"  Come  back !  "  the  Caterpillar  called  after  her. 
"  I've  something  important  to  say !  " 

This  sonnded  promising,  certainly:  Alice  turned  and 
came  back  again. 

"  Keep  your  temper,"  said  the  Caterpillar. 

"  Is  that  all  ?  "  said  Alice,  swallowing  down  her  an- 
ger as  well  as  she  could. 

"No,"  said  the  Caterpillar. 

Alice  thought  she  might  as  well  wait,  as  she  had 
nothing  else  to  do,  and  perhaps  after  all  it  might  tell 
her  something  worth  hearing.  For  some  minutes  it 
puffed  away  without  speaking,  but  at  last  it  unfolded 
its  arms,  took  the  hookah  out  of  its  mouth  again,  and 
said,  "  So  you  think  you're  changed,  do  you  ? ' 

"  I'm  afraid  I  am,  sir,"  said  Alice,  "  I  can't  remem- 
ber things  as  I  used — and  I  don't  keep  the  same  size 
for  ten  minutes  together !  " 

"  Can't  remember  what  things  %  "  said  the  Caterpil- 
lar. 

"  Well,  I've  tried  to  say,  '  How  doth  the  little  busy 
bee,'  but  it  all  came  different !  "  Alice  replied,  in  a 
very  melancholy  voice. 

"Repeat  '  You  are  old,  Father  William,'  '  said  the 
Caterpillar. 

Alice  folded  her  hands,  and  began : — 


ADVICE  FROM  A  CATERPILLAR. 


49 


"  You  are  old,  father  William"  the  young  man.  said, 
"And  your  hair  has  become  very  white; 

And  yet  you  incessantly  stand  on  your  head — 
Do  you  think,  at  your  age,  it  is  right?  " 


"  In  my  youth,"  father  William  replied  to  his  son, 
"I  feared  it  might  injure  the  brain; 

But  now  that  I'm  perfectly  sure  I  have  none. 
Why,  I  do  it  again  and  again." 


50 


ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 


"  You  are  old,"  said  the  youth,  "  as  I  mentioned  before, 
And  have  grown  most  uncommonly  fat; 

Yet  yon  turned  a  bach-somersault  in  at  the  door — 
Pray,  what  is  the  reason  of  that!" 


"  In  my  youth,"  said  the  sage,  as  he  shook  his  grey  lochs, 

"  I  hept  all  my  limbs  very  supple 
By  the  use  of  this  ointment — one  shilling  the  box — 

'Allow  me  to  sell  you  a  couple" 


ADVICE  FROM  A  CATERPILLAR. 


51 


''  You  are  old,"  said  the  youth,  "  and  your  jaws  are  too 
weak 

For  anything  tougher  than  suet; 
Yet  you  finished  the  goose,  with  the  bones  and  the  beak; 

Pray,  how  did  you  manage  to  do  it?  " 


"  In  my  youth,"  said  his  father,  "  I  took  to  the  law, 

And  argued  each  case  with  my  wife; 
And  the  muscular  strength,  which  it  gave  to  my  jaw, 

Has  lasted  the  rest  of  my  life." 


52 


ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 


'  You  are  old,"  said  the  youth;  "  one  would  hardly  sup- 
pose 

That  your  eye  was  as  steady  as  ever; 
Yet  you  balanced  an  eel  on  the  end  of  your  nose — 

What  made  you  so  awfully  clever?" 


'  I  have  answered  three  questions,  and  that  is  enough/ 
Said  his  father;  "  don't  give  yourself  airs! 

Do  you  think  I  can  listen  all  day  to  such  stuff? 
Be  off,  or  I'll  hick  you  downstairs!" 


ADVICE  FROM  A  CATERPILLAR.  53 


u 


That  is  not  said  right,"  said  the  Caterpillar. 

"  Not  quite  right,  I'm  afraid,"  said  Alice,  timidly ; 
"  some  of  the  words  have  got  altered." 

"  It  is  wrong  from  beginning  to  end,"  said  the  Cat' 
erpillar,  decidedly,  and  there  was  silence  for  some  min- 
utes. 

The  Caterpillar  was  the  first  to  speak. 

"  What  size  do  you  want  to  be  ?  "  it  asked. 

"  Oh,  I'm  not  particular  as  to  size,"  Alice  hastily  re- 
plied ;  "  only  one  doesn't  like  changing  so  often,  you 
know." 

"  I  don't  know,"  said  the  Caterpillar. 

Alice  said  nothing:  she  had  never  been  so  much 
contradicted  in  all  her  life  before,  and  she  felt  that  she 
was  losing  her  temper. 

"  Are  you  content  now  ?  "  said  the  Caterpillar. 

"  Well,  I  should  like  to  be  a  little  larger,  sir,  if  you 
wouldn't  mind,"  said  Alice :  "  three  inches  is  such  a 
wretched  height  to  be." 

"  It  is  a  very  good  height,  indeed !  "  said  the  Cater- 
pillar, angrily,  rearing  itself  upright  as  it  spoke  (it 
was  exactly  three  inches  high). 

"  But  I'm  not  used  to  it !  "  pleaded  poor  Alice  in  a 
piteous  tone.  And  she  thought  to  herself,  "  I  wish  the 
creatures  wouldn't  be  so  easily  offended !  " 

"  You'll  get  used  to  it  in  time,"  said  the  Caterpillar ; 
and  it  put  the  hookah  into  its  mouth  and  began  smok- 
ing again. 

This  time  Alice  waited  patiently  until  it  chose  to 
speak  again.  In  a  minute  or  two  the  Caterpillar  took 
the  hookah  out  of  its  mouth,  and  yawned  once  or  twice, 
and  shook  itself.  Then  it  got  down  off  the  mushroom, 
and  crawled  away  into  the  grass,  merely  remarking  as 
it  went,  "  One  side  will  make  you  grow  taller,  and  the 
other  side  will  make  you  grow  shorter." 


54  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

"One  side   of   what?     The   other   side   of   what?' 
thought  Alice  to  herself. 

"  Of  the  mushroom,"  said  the  Caterpillar,  just  as 
if  she  had  asked  it  aloud ;  and  in  another  moment  it 
was  out  of  sight. 

Alice  remained  looting  thoughtfully  at  the  mush- 
room for  a  minute,  trying  to  make  out  which  were  the 
two  sides  of  it;  and,  as  it  was  perfectly  round,  she 
found  this  a  very  difficult  question.  However,  at  last 
she  stretched  her  arms  round  it  as  far  as  they  would  go, 
and  broke  off  a  bit  of  the  edge  with  each  hand. 

"  And  now  which  is  which  '.  ' '  she  said  to  herself, 
and  nibbled  a  little  of  the  right-hand  bit  to  try  the 
effect :  the  next  moment  she  felt  a  violent  blow  under- 
neath her  chin  ;  it  had  struck  her  foot  I 

She  was  a  good  deal  frightened  by  this  very  sndden 
change,  but  she  felt  that  there  was  no  time  to  be  lost, 
as  she  was  shrinking  rapidly ;  so  she  set  to  work  at 
once  to  eat  some  of  the  other  bit.  Her  chin  was  pressed 
so  closelv  against  her  foot,  that  there  was  hardlv  room 
to  open  her  mouth ;  but  she  did  it  at  last,  and  man- 
aged to  swallow  a  morsel  of  the  left-hand  bit. 

*  *  *  *  * 

TT  T"  ™  TP 

***** 

"  Come,  my  head's  free  at  last !  "  said  Alice  in  a 
tone  of  delight,  which  changed  into  alarm  in  another 
moment,  when  she  found  that  her  shoulders  were  no- 
where to  be  found :  all  she  could  see,  when  she  looked 
down,  was  an  immense  length  of  neck,  which  seemed 
to  rise  like  a  stalk  out  of  a  sea  of  green  leaves  that 
lay  far  below  her. 


ADVICE  FROM  A  CATERPILLAR.  55 

"  What  can  all  that  green  stuff  be  ?  "  said  Alice. 
"  And  where  have  my  shoulders  got  to  ?  And,  oh,  my 
poor  hands,  how  is  it  I  can't  see  you  ? ':  She  was  mov- 
ing them  about  as  she  spoke,  but  no  result  seemed  to 
follow,  except  a  little  shaking  among  the  distant  green 
leaves. 

As  there  seemed  to  be  no  chance  of  getting  her  hands 
np  to  her  head,  she  tried  to  get  her  head  down  to 
them,  and  was  delighted  to  find  that  her  neck  would 
bend  about  easily  in  any  direction,  like  a  serpent.  She 
had  just  succeeded  in  curving  it  down  into  a  graceful 
zigzag,  and  was  going  to  dive  in  among  the  leaves, 
which  she  found  to  be  nothing  but  the  tops  of  the  trees 
under  which  she  had  been  wandering,  when  a  sharp 
hiss  made  her  draw  back  in  a  hurry:  a  large  pigeon  had 
flown  into  her  face,  and  was  beating  her  violently  with 
its  wings. 

"  Serpent !  "  screamed  the  Pigeon. 

"  I'm  not  a  serpent !  "  said  Alice,  indignantly.  "  Let 
me  alone !  " 

il  Serpent,  I  say  again  !  "  repeated  the  Pigeon,  but  in 
a  more  subdued  tone,  and  added  with  a  kind  of  sob, 
"  I've  tried  every  way,  and  nothing  seems  to  suit 
them !  " 

"  I  haven't  the  least  idea  what  you're  talking  about," 
said  Alice. 

"  I've  tried  the  roots  of  trees,  and  I've  tried  banks, 
and  I've  tried  hedges,"  the  Pigeon  went  on,  without 
attending  to  her;  '"'but  those  serpents!  There's  no 
pleasing  them !  " 

Alice  was  more  and  more  puzzled,  but  she  thought 
there  was  no  use  in  saying  anything  more  till  the 
Pigeon  had  finished. 

"  As  if  it  wasn't  trouble  enough  hatching  the  eggs," 
said  the  Pigeon,  "  but  I  must  be  on  the  lookout  for 


56  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

serpents  night  and  day !  Why,  I  haven't  had  a  wink 
of  sleep  these  three  weeks !  " 

"  I'm  very  sorry  you've  been  annoyed,"  said  Alice, 
who  was  beginning  to  see  its  meaning. 

"  And  just  as  I'd  taken  the  highest  tree  in  the  wood," 
continued  the  Pigeon,  raising  its  voice  to  a  shriek,  "  and 
just  as  I  was  thinking  I  should  be  free  of  them  at  last, 
they  must  needs  come  wriggling  down  from  the  sky ! 
Ugh  !     Serpent !  " 

"But  I'm  not  a  serpent,  I  tell  you!'1  said  Alice, 
"  I'm  a I'm  a " 

"  Well !  What  are  you  ?  "  said  the  Pigeon.  "  I  can 
see  you're  trying  to  invent  something!  " 

"  I — I'm  a  little  girl,"  said  Alice,  rather  doubtfully, 
as  she  remembered  the  number  of  changes  she  had  gone 
through  that  day. 

"  A  likely  story  indeed !  "  said  the  Pigeon  in  a  tone 
of  the  deepest  contempt.  "  I've  seen  a  good  many  little 
girls  in  my  time,  but  never  one  with  such  a  neck  as 
that !  Xo,  no  !  You're  a  serpent ;  and  there's  no  use 
denying  it.  I  suppose  you'll  be  telling  me  next  that 
you  never  tasted  an  egg!  " 

"  I  have  tasted  eggs,  certainly,"  said  Alice,  who  was 
a  very  truthful  child ;  "  but  little  girls  eat  eggs  quite 
as  much  as  serpents  do,  you  know." 

"  I  don't  believe  it,"  said  the  Pigeon ;  "  but  if  they 
do,  why,  then,  they're  a  kind  of  serpent,  that's  all  I 


can  say." 


This  was  such  a  new  idea  to  Alice,  that  she  was  quite 
silent  for  a  minute  or  two,  which  gave  the  Pigeon  the 
opportunity  of  adding,  "  You're  looking  for  eggs,  I 
know  that  well  enough ;  and  what  does  it  matter  to  me 
whether  you're  a  little  girl  or  a  serpent  ?  " 

"  It  matters  a  good  deal  to  me,"  said  Alice,  hastily ; 


ADVICE  FROM  A  CATERPILLAR.  57 

"  but  I'm  not  looking  for  eggs,  as  it  happens ;  and  if  I 
was,  I  shouldn't  want  yours:  I  don't  like  them  raw." 

"  Well,  be  off,  then !  "  said  the  Pigeon,  in  a  sulky 
tone,  as  it  settled  down  again  into  its  nest.  Alice 
crouched  down  among  the  trees  as  well  as  she  could, 
for  her  neck  kept  getting  entangled  among  the  branches, 
and  every  now  and  then  she  had  to  stop  and  untwist  it. 
After  a  while  she  remembered  that  she  still  held  the 
pieces  of  mushroom  in  her  hands,  and  she  set  to  work 
very  carefully,  nibbling  first  at  one  and  then  at  the 
other,  and  growing  sometimes  taller  and  sometirnes 
shorter,  until  she  had  succeeded  in  bringing  herself 
down  to  her  usual  height. 

It  was  so  long  since  she  had  been  anything  near 
the  right  size,  that  it  felt  quite  strange  at  first,  but 
she  got  used  to  it  in  a  few  minutes,  and  began  talking 
to  herself  as  usual.  "  Come,  there's  half  my  plan  done 
now!  How  puzzling  all  these  changes  are!  I'm  never 
sure  what  I'm  going  to  be,  from  one  minute  to  another ! 
However,  I've  got  back  to  my  right  size :  the  next  thing 
is,  to  get  into  that  beautiful  garden — how  is  that  to  be 
done,  I  wonder  ?  "  As  she  said  this,  she  came  sud- 
denly upon  an  open  place,  with  a  little  house  in  it 
about  four  feet  high.  "  Whoever  lives  there,"  thought 
Alice,  "  it'll  never  do  to  come  upon  them  this  size :  why, 
I  should  frighten  them  out  of  their  wits !  "  So  she  be- 
gan nibbling  at  the  right-hand  bit  again,  and  did  not 
venture  to  go  near  the  house  till  she  had  brought  her- 
self down  to  nine  inches  high. 


CHAPTER  VI. 


PIG   AXD   PEPPER. 


For  a  minute  or  two  she  stood  looking  at  the  house, 
and  wondering  what  to  do  next,  when  suddenly  a  foot- 
man in  livery  came  running  out  of  the  wood — (she  con- 
sidered him  to  he  a  footman  because  he  was  in  livery: 
otherwise,  judging  by  his  face  only,  she  would  have 
called  him  a  fish)— and  rapped  loudly  at  the  door  with 
his  knuckles.  It  was  opened  by  another  footman  in 
livery,  with  a  round  face  and  large  eyes  like  a  frog; 
and  both  footmen,  Alice  noticed,  had  powdered  hair 
that  curled  all  over  their  heads.  She  felt  very  cu- 
rious  to  know  what  it  was  all  about,  and  crept  a  little 
way  out  of  the  wood  to  listen. 

The  Fish-Footman  began  by  producing  from  under 
his  arm  a  great  'letter,  nearly  as  large  as  himself,  and 
this  he  handed  over  to  the  other,  saying  in  a  solemn 
tone,  "  For  the  Duchess.  An  invitation  from  the 
Queen  to  play  croquet."  The  Frog-Footman  repeated, 
in  the  same  solemn  tone,  only  changing  the  order  of  the 
words  a  little,  "  From  the  Queen.  An  invitation  for 
the  Duchess  to  play  croquet." 

Then  they  both  bowed  low,  and  their  curls  got  en- 
tangled  together. 

Alice  laughed  so  much  at  this  that  she  had  to  run 
back  into  the  wood  for  fear  of  their  hearing  her,  and 
wdien  she  next  peeped  out  the  Fish-Footman  was  gone, 
58 


PIG  AND  PEPPER. 


59 


and  the  other  was  sitting  on  the  ground  near  the  door? 
staring  stupidly  up  into  the  sky.  . 

Alice   went   timidly   up   to  the   door,    and   knocked. 

"  There's  no  sort  of  use  in  knocking/'  said  the  Foot- 
man, "  and  that  for  two  reasons.  First,  because 
I'm  on  the  same  side  of  the  door  as  you  are ; 
secondly,  because  they're  making  such  a  noise  inside, 
no  one  could  possibly  hear  you."  And  certainly  there 
vms  a  most  extraordinary  noise  going  on  within — a 
constant  howling  and  sneezing,  and  every  now  and  then 
a  great  crash,  as  if  a  dish  or  kettle  had  been  broken 
to  pieces. 

"  Please,  then,"  said  Alice,  "  how  am  I  to  get  in  \ " 


60  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

"  There  might  be  some  sense  in  your  knocking,"  the 
Footman  went  on  without  attending  to  her,  "  If  we  had 
the  door  between  us.  For  instance,  if  vou  were  inside, 
you  might  knock,  and  I  conld  let  yon  out,  yon  know." 
ITe  was  looking  up  into  the  sky  all  the  time  he  was. 
speaking,  and  this  Alice  thought  decidedly  nncivil. 
"But  perhaps  he  can't  help  it,"  she  said  to  herself; 
"  his  eyes  are  so  very  nearly  at  the  top  of  his  head.  But 
at  any  rate  he  might  answer  questions — How  am  I  to 
get  in  ?  "  she  repeated,  aloud. 

"  I  shall  sit  here,"  the  Footman  remarked,  "  till  to- 
morrow  " 

At  this  moment  the  door  of  the  house  opened,  and  a 
large  plate  came  skimming  out,  straight  at  the  Foot- 
man's head:  it  just  grazed  his  nose,  and  broke  to  pieces 
against  one  of  the  trees  behind  him. 

" or  next  day,  maybe,"  the  Footman  continued 

in  the  same  tone,  exactly  as  if  nothing  had  happened. 

"How  am  I  to  get  in?"  Alice  asked  again  in  a 
louder  tone. 

"Are  vou  to  get  in  at  all?"  said  the  Footman. 
"  That's  the  first  question,  you  know." 

It  was,  no  doubt:  only  Alice  did  not  like  to  be  told 
so.  "  It's  really  dreadful,"  she  muttered  to  herself, 
"  the  way  all  the  creatures  argue.  It's  enough  to 
drive  one  crazy !  " 

The  Footman  seemed  to  think  this  a  good  opportunity 
for  repeating  his  remark,  with  variations.  "  I  shall 
sit  here,"  he  said,  "  on  and  off,  for  days  and  days." 

"  But  what  am  I  to  do  ?  "  said  Alice. 

"  Anything  you  like,"  said  the  Footman,  and  began 
whistling. 

"  Oh,  there's  no  use  in  talking  to  him,"  said  Alice, 
desperately ;  "  he's  perfectly  idiotic  !  "  And  she  opened 
the  door  and  went  in. 


PIG  AND  PEPPER. 


61 


The  door  led  right  into  a  large  kitchen,  which  was 
full  of  smoke  from  one  end  to  the  other:  the  Duchess 
was  sitting  on  a  three-legged  stool  in  the  middle,  nurs- 
ing a  baby ;  the  cook  was  leaning  over  the  fire,  stirring  a 
large  cauldron  which  seemed  to  be  full  of  soup. 

"  There's  certainly  too  much  pepper  in  that  soup !  " 
Alice  said  to  herself,  as  well  as  she  could  for  sneezing. 

There  was  certainly  too  much  of  it  in  the  air.  Even 
the  Duchess  sneezed  occasionally;  and  as  for  the  baby, 
it  was  sneezing  and  howling  alternately  without  a  mo- 
ment's pause.  The  only  two  creatures  in  the  kitchen 
that  did  not  sneeze,  were  the  cook,  and  a  large  cat 
which  was  sitting  on  the  hearth  and  grinning  from 
ear  to  ear. 

"  Please,  would  you  tell  me,"  said  Alice,  a  little  tim- 
idly, for  she  was  not  quite  sure  whether  it  was  good 


62  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

manners  for  her  to  speak  first,  "  why  your  cat  grins 
like  that !  " 

"  It's  a  Cheshire  cat,"  said  the  Duchess,  "  and  that's 
why.     Pig!" 

She  said  the  last  word  with  such  sudden  violence  that 
Alice  quite  jumped ;  but  she  saw  in  another  moment 
that,  it  was  addressed  to  the  baby,  and  not  to  her,  so 
she  took  courage,  and  went  on  again: — 

"I  didn't  know  that  Cheshire  cats  always  grinned; 
in  fact,  I  didn't  know  that  cats  could  grin." 

"  They  all  can,"  said  the  Duchess ;  "  and  most  of 
'em  do." 

"  I  don't  know  of  any  that  do,"  Alice  said  very  po- 
litely, feeling  quite  pleased  to  have  got  into  a  con- 
versation. 

"  You  don't  know  much,"  said  the  Duchess ;  "  and 
that's  a  fact." 

Alice  did  not  at  all  like  the  tone  of  this  remark,  and 
thought  it  would  be  as  well  to  introduce  some  other 
subject  of  conversation.  "While  she  was  trying  to  fix 
on  one,  the  cook  took  the  cauldron  of  soup  off  the  fire, 
and  at  once  set  to  work  throwing  everything  within 
her  reach  at  the  Duchess  and  the  baby — the  fire-irons 
came  first ;  then  followed  a  shower  of  saucepans,  plates, 
and  dishes.  The  Duchess  took  no  notice  of  them,  even 
when  they  hit  her;  and  the  baby  was  howling  so  much 
already,  that  it  was  quite  impossible  to  say  whether  the 
blows  hurt  it  or  not. 

"  Oh,  please  mind  what  you're  doing!  "  cried  Alice, 
jumping  up  and  down  in  an  agony  of  terror.  "  Oh, 
there  goes  his  precious  nose !  "  as  an  unusually  large 
saucepan  flew  close  by  it,  and  very  nearly  carried  it  off. 

"  If  everybody  minded  their  own  business,"  said 
the  Duchess  in  a  hoarse  growl,  "  the  world  would  go 
round  a  deal  faster  than  it  does." 


PIG  AND  PEPPER.  63 

"  Which  would  not  be  an  advantage,"  said  Alice, 
"who  felt  very  glad  to  get  an  opportunity  of  showing 
off  a  little  of  her  knowledge.  "  Just  think  what  work 
it  would  make  with  the  day  and  night!  You  see  the 
earth  takes  twenty-four  hours  to  turn  round  on  its 
axis 

"  Talking  of  axes,"  said  the  Duchess,  "  chop  off  her 
head!" 

Alice  glanced  rather  anxiously  at  the  cook,  to  see  if 
she  meant  to  take  the  hint ;  but  the  cook  was  busily 
stirring  the  soup,  and  seemed  not  to  be  listening,  so 
she  went  on  again :  "  Twenty-four  hours,  I  think;  or  is 
it  twelve?    I " 

"  Oh,  don't  bother  me"  said  the  Duchess:  "  I  never 
could  abide  figures."  And  with  that  she  began  nurs- 
ing her  child  again,  singing  a  sort  of  lullaby  to  it  as  she 
did  so,  and  giving  it  a  violent  shake  at  the  end  of 
every  line: — 

"  Speak  roughly  to  your  little  hoy, 
And  beat  him  when  he  sneezes; 

He  only  does  it  to  annoy, 
Because  he  knows  it  teases." 

Chorus 

(in  which  the  cook  and  the  baby  joined)  :— ~ 

"  Wow!  wow!  wow!  " 

While  the  Duchess  sang  the  second  verse  of  the  song, 
she  kept  tossing  the  baby  violently  up  and  down,  and 
the  poor  little  thing  howled  so,  that  Alice  could  hardly 
hear  the  words: — 


64  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

'  I  speak  severely   to  my   boy, 
I  beat  him  when  he  sneezes; 
For  he  can  thoroughly  enjoy 
The  pepper  when  he  pleases!  " 

Chorus 

"Wow!  wow!  wow!" 

"Here!  you  may  nurse  it  a  bit,  if  you  like!  "  said 
the  Duchess  to  Alice,  flinging  the  baby  at  her  as  she 
spoke.  "  I  must  go  and  get  ready  to  play  croquet 
with  the  Queen,"  and  she  hurried  out  of  the  room. 
The  cook  threw  a  frying  pan  after  her  as  she  'vent, 
but  it  just  missed  her. 

Alice  caught  the  baby  with  some  difficulty,  <»s  it 
was  a  queer-shaped  little  creature,  and  held  out  its 
arms  and  legs  in  all  directions,  "just  like  a  starfish," 
thought  Alice.  The  poor  little  thing  was  snorting  like 
a  steam  engine  when  she  caught  it,  and  kept  doubling 
itself  up  and  straightening  itself  out  again,  so  that 
altogether,  for  the  first  minute  or  two,  it  was  as  much 
as  she  could  do  to  hold  it. 

As  soon  as  she  had  made  out  the  proper  way  of  nurs- 
ing it,  (which  was  to  twist  it  up  into  a  sort  of  knot, 
and  then  keep  tight  hold  of  its  right  ear  and  left  foot, 
so  as  to  prevent  its  undoing  itself,)  she  carried  it  out 
into  the  open  air.  "  If  I  don't  take  this  child  away 
with  me,"  thought  Alice,  "  they're  sure  to  kill  it  in  a 
day  or  two :  wouldn't  it  be  murder  to  leave  it  behind  ?  " 
She  said  the  last  words  out  loud,  and  the  little  thing 
grunted  in  reply  (it  had  left  off  sneezing  by  this  time),, 
"Don't  grunt,"  said  Alice:  "  that's  not  at  all  a  proper 
way  of  expressing  yourself." 

The  baby  grunted  again,  and  Alice  looked  very  anx- 


PIG  AND  PEPPER. 


65 


iously  into  its  face  to  see  what  was  the  matter  with 
it.  There  could  be  no  doubt  that  it  had  a  very  turn-up 
nose,  much  more  like  a  snout  than  a  real  nose;  also  its 
eyes  were  getting  extremely  small  for  a  baby:  alto- 
gether Alice  did  not  like  the  look  of  the  thing  at  all, 
"  but,  perhaps,  it  was  only  sobbing,"  she  thought,  and 
looked  into  its  eyes  again,  to  see  if  there  were  any 
tears. 


No,  there  were  no  tears.  "  If  you're  going  to  turn 
into  a  pig,  my  dear,"  said  Alice,  seriously,  "  I'll  have 
nothing  more  to  do  with  you.  Mind,  now !  "  The  poor 
little  thing  sobbed  again,  (or  grunted,  it  was  impos- 
sible to  say  which,)  and  they  went  on  for  some  while 
in  silence. 

Alice  was  just  beginning  to  think  to  herself,  "  Now, 
what  am  I  to  do  with   this  creature  when  I  get  it 


66  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

home  ?  "  when  it  grunted  again,  so  violently,  that  she 
looked  down  into  its  face  in  some  alarm.  This  time 
there  could  be  no  mistake  about  it :  it  was  neither  more 
nor  less  than  a  pig,  and  she  felt  that  it  would  be  quite 
absurd  for  her  to  carry  it  any  further. 

So  she  set  the  little  creature  down,  and  felt  quite 
relieved  to  see  it  trot  away  quietly  into  the  wood.  "  If 
it  had  grown  up,"  she  said  to  herself,  "  it  would  have 
been  a  dreadfully  ugly  child:  but  it  makes  rather  a 
handsome  pig,  I  think."  And  she  began  thinking  over 
other  children  she  knew,  who  might  do  very  well  as 
pigs,  and  was  just  saying  to  herself,  "  if  one  only  knew 
the  right  way  to  change  them "  when  she  was  a  lit- 
tle startled  by  seeing  the  Cheshire  Cat  sitting  on  a 
bough  of  a  tree  a  few  vards  off. 

The  Cat  only  grinned  when  it  saw  Alice.  It  looked 
good-natured,  she  thought:  still  it  had  very  long  claws 
and  a  great  many  teeth,  so  she  felt  it  ought  to  be  treated 
with  respect. 

"  Cheshire  Puss,"  she  began,  rather  timidly,  as  she 
did  not  at  all  know  whether  it  would  like  the  name : 
however,  it  only  grinned  a  little  wider.  "  Come,  it's 
pleased  so  far,"  thought  Alice,  and  she  went  on,  "  would 
you  tell  me,  please,  which  way  I  ought  to  walk  from 
here  ?  " 

"  That  depends  a  good  deal  on  where  you  want  to 
get  to,"  said  the  Cat. 

"  I  don't  much  care  where "  said  Alice. 

"  Then  it  doesn't  matter  which  way  you  walk,"  said 
the  Cat. 

" so  long  as  I  get  somewhere,"  Alice  added  as  an 

explanation. 

"  Oh,  you're  sure  to  do  that,"  said  the  Cat,  "  if 
you  only  walk  long  enough." 

Alice  felt  that  this  could  not  be  denied,  so  she  tried 


PIG  AND  PEPPER. 


67 


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m  &££,  » 


another  question.  "  What 
sort  of  people  live  about 
here  ? ' ' 

' '  In  that  direction, ' '  the 
Cat  said,  waving  its  right 
paw  round,  ' '  lives  a  Hatter  : 
and  in  that  direction,"  wav- 


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\y  m 


you  like  :  they're  both  mad. ' '  ^ '. 

"But  I  don't  want  to  go  ^§ 
among   mad   people,"    Alice  ____ 
remarked. 

' '  Oh,  you  can't  help  that, ' ' 
said  the  Cat:  "we're  all 
mad  here.   I'm  mad.    You're  mad." 

"  How  do  you  know  I'm  mad  \  "  said  Alice. 

"  You  must  be,"  said   the   Cat,    "  or  you  wouldn't 
have  come  here." 

Alice  didn't  think  that  proved  it  at  all ;  however,  she 
went  on :  "  and  how  do  you  know  that  you're  mad  ?  " 


68  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND, 


"  To  begin  with,"  said  the  Cat,  "  a  dog's  not  mad. 
You  grant  that  ?  " 

"  I  suppose  so,"  said  Alice. 

"  Well,  then,"  the  Cat  went  on,  "  you  see  a  dog 
growls  when  it's  angry,  and  wags  its  tail  when  it's 
pleased.  Now  /  growl  when  I'm  pleased,  and  wag 
my  tail  when  I'm  angry.     Therefore  I'm  mad." 

'  I  call  it  purring,  not  growling,"  said  Alice. 

"  Call  it  what  you  like,"  said  the  Cat.  "  Do  you 
play  croquet  with  the  Queen  to-day  ?  " 

"  I  should  like  it  very  much,"  said  Alice,  "  but  I 
haven't  been  invited  vet." 

"  You'll  see  me  there,"  said  the  Cat,  and  vanished. 

Alice  was  not  much  surprised  at  this,  she  was  get- 
ting so  well  used  to  queer  things  happening.  While  she 
was  still  looking  at  the  place  where  it  had  been,  it  sud- 
denly appeared  again. 

"  By-the-bye,  what  became  of  the  baby  ?  "  said  the 
Cat.     "  I'd  nearly  forgotten  to  ask." 

"  It  turned  into  a  pig,"  Alice  answered,  very  quietly, 
just  as  if  the  Cat  had  come  back  in  a  natural  way. 


PIG  AND  PEPPER.  69 

"  I  thought  it  would/'  said  the  Cat,  and  vanished 
again. 

Alice  waited  a  little,  half  expecting  to  see  it  again, 
but  it  did  not  appear,  and  after  a  minute  or  two  she 
walked  on  in  the  direction  in  which  the  March  Hare 
was  said  to  live.  "  I've  seen  hatters  before,"  she  said 
to  herself:  "  the  March  Hare  will  be  much  the  most 
interesting,  and  perhaps  as  this  is  May  it  won't  be  rav- 
ing mad — at  least  not  so  mad  as  it  was  in  March."  As 
she  said  this,  she  looked  up,  and  there  was  the  Cat 
again,  sitting  on  a  branch  of  a  tree. 

"  Did  you  say  pig,  or  fig  ?  "  said  the  Cat. 

"  I  said  pig,"  replied  Alice ;  "  and  I  wish  you 
wouldn't  keep  appearing  and  vanishing  so  suddenly: 
you  make  one  quite  giddy." 

"  All  right,"  said  the  Cat;  and  this  time  it  vanished 
quite  slowly,  beginning  with  the  end  of  the  tail,  and 
ending  with  the  grin,  which  remained  some  time  after 
the  rest  of  it  had  gone. 

"  Well !  I've  often  seen  a  cat  without  a  grin," 
thought  Alice ;  "  but  a  grin  without  a  cat.  It's  the  most 
curious  thing  I  ever  saw  in  all  my  life !  " 

She  had  not  gone  much  farther  before  she  came  in 
sight  of  the  house  of  the  March  Hare ;  she  thought  it 
must  be  the  right  house,  because  the  chimneys  were 
shaped  like  ears,  and  the  roof  was  thatched  with  fur. 
It  was  so  large  a  house,  that  she  did  not  like  to  go 
nearer  till  she  had  nibbled  some  more  of  the  left-hand 
bit  of  mushroom,  and  raised  herself  to  about  two  feet 
high :  even  then  she  walked  up  toward  it  rather  timidly, 
saying  to  herself,  "  Suppose  it  should  be  raving  mad 
after  all !  I  almost  wish  I'd  gone  to  see  the  Hatter 
instead !  " 


CHAPTER  VII. 


A   MAD   TEA-PARTY. 


There  was  a  table  set  out  under  a  tree  in  front 
of  the  house,  and  the  March  Hare  and  the  Hatter 
were  having-  tea  at  it :  a  Dormouse  was  sitting  between 
them,  fast  asleep,  and  the  other  two  were  using  it  as 
a  cushion,  resting  their  elbows  on  it,  and  talking  over 
its  head.  "  Very  uncomfortable  for  the  Dormouse," 
thought  Alice ;  "  only,  as  it's  asleep,  I  suppose  it  doesn't 
mind." 

The  table  was  a  large  one,  but  the  three  were  all 
crowded  together  at  one  corner  of  it :  "  No  room !  No 
room !  "  they  cried  out  when  they  saw  Alice  coming. 
"There's  plenty  of  room!"  said  Alice,  indignantly, 
and  she  sat  down  in  a  large  armchair  at  one  end  of  the 
table. 

"  Have  some  wine,"  the  March  Hare  said,  in  an  en- 
couraging tone. 

Alice  looked  all  around  the  table,  but  there  was  noth- 
ing on  it  but  tea.  "  I  don't  see  any  wine,"  she  re- 
marked. 

"  There  isn't  any,"  said  the  March  Hare. 

"  Then  it  wasn't  very  civil  of  you  to  offer  it,"  said 
Alice,  angrily. 

"  It  wasn't  very  civil  of  you  to  sit  down  without 
being  invited,"  said  the  March  Hare. 

"  I  didn't  know  it  was  your  table,"  said  Alice ;  "  it's 
laid  for  a  great  many  more  than  three." 
70 


A  MAD  TEA-PARTY.  fl 

"  Your  hair  wants  cutting/'  said  the  Hatter.  He 
had  been  looking  at  Alice  for  some  time  with  great 
curiosity,  and  this  was  his  first  speech. 

"  You  should  learn  not  to  make  personal  remarks," 
Alice  said  with  some  severity :  "  it's  very  rude." 

The  Hatter  opened  his  eyes  very  wide  on  hearing 
this ;  but  all  he  said  was,  "  Why  is  a  raven  like  a  writ- 
ing-desk ?  " 

"  Come,  we  shall  have  some  fun  now !  "  thought 
Alice.  "  I'm  glad  they've  begun  asking  riddles — I  be- 
lieve I  can  guess  that,"  she  added  aloud. 

"  Do  you  mean  that  you  think  you  can  find  out  the 
answer  to  it  ?  "  said  the  March  Hare. 

"  Exactly   so,"   said  Alice. 

"  Then  you  should  say  what  you  mean,"  the  March 
Hare  went  on. 

"  I  do,"  Alice  hastily  replied ;  "  at  least — at  least 
I  mean  what  I  say — that's  the  same  thing,  you  know." 

"  'Not  the  same  thing  a  bit !  "  said  the  Hatter. 
"  Why,  you  might  just  as  well  say  that  '  I  see  what  I 
eat '  is  the  same  thing  as  '  I  eat  what  I  see  ' !  " 

"  You  might  just  as  well  say,"  added  the  March 
Hare,  "  .that  '  I  like  what  I  get '  is  the  same  thing  as 
<  I  get  what  I  like  ' !  " 

"  You  might  just  as  well  say,"  added  the  Dormouse, 
who  seemed  to  be  talking  in  his  sleep,  "  that  '  I  breathe 
when  I  sleep  '  is  the  same  thing  as  *  I  sleep  when  I 
breathe ' !  " 

"  It  is  the  same  thing  with  you,"  said  the  Hatter, 
and  here  the  conversation  dropped,  and  the  party  sat 
silent  for  a  minute,  while  Alice  thought  over  all  she 
could  remember  about  ravens  and  writing-desks,  which 
wasn't  much. 

The  Hatter  was  the  first  to  break  the  silence. 
"  What  day  of  the  month  is  it  ?  "  he  said,  turning  to 


72    ALICES  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 


Alice:  lie  had  taken  his  watch  out  of  his  pocket,  and 
was  looking  at  it  uneasily,  shaking  it  every  now  and 
then,  and  holding  it  to  his  ear. 

Alice  considered   a   little,   and   said,   "  The   fourth." 


a 


Two   days  wrong!'1   sighed  the  Hatter. 


I  told 


you  hutter  wouldn't  suit  the  works !  "  he  added,  look- 
ing angrily  at  the  March  Hare. 

"  It  was  the  best  hutter,"  the  March  Hare  meekly  re- 
plied. 

"  Yes,  but  some  crumbs  must  have  got  in  as  well," 
the  Hatter  grumbled :  "  you  shouldn't  have  put  it  in 
with  the  bread-knife." 

The  March  Hare  took  the  watch  and  looked  at  it 
gloomily:  then  he  dipped  it  into  his  cup  of  tea,  and 
looked  at  it  again  :  but  he  could  think  of  nothing  bet- 
ter to  say  than  his  first  remark,  "  It  was  the  best  but- 
ter, you  know." 

Alice  had  been  looking  over  his  shoulder  with  some 
curiosity.      "  What   a   funny   watch !  "   she   remarked. 


A  MAD  TEA-PARTY.  73 

"  It  tells  the  day  of  the  month,  and  doesn't  tell  what 
o'clock  it  is  !  " 

"  Why  should  it.?  "  muttered  the  Hatter.  "  Does 
your  watch  tell  you  what  year  it  is?  " 

"  Of  course  not,"  Alice  replied  very  readily :  "  hut 
that's  because  it  stays  the  same  year  for  such  a  long 
time  together." 

"  Which  is  just  the  case  with  mine/'  said  the  Hat- 
ter. 

Alice  felt  dreadfully  puzzled.  The  Hatter's  remark 
seemed  to  her  to  have  no  sort  of  meaning  in  it,  and 
yet  it  was  certainly  English.  "  I  don't  quite  under- 
stand you,"  she  said,  as  politely  as  she  could. 

"  The  Dormouse  is  asleep  again,"  said  the  Hatter, 
and  he  poured  a  little  hot  tea  on  to  its  nose. 

The  Dormouse  shook  its  head  impatiently,  and  said, 
without  opening  its  eyes,  "  Of  course,  of  course:  just 
what  I  was  going  to  remark  myself." 

"  Have  you  guessed  the  riddle  yet  ?  "  the  Hatter  said, 
turning  to  Alice  again. 

"  !NTo,  I  give  it  up,"  Alice  replied :  "  what's  the 
answer  ?  " 

"  I  haven't  the  slightest  idea,"  said  the  Hatter. 

"  ^Tor  I,"  said  the  March  Hare. 

Alice  sighed  wearily.  "  I  think  you  might  do  some- 
thing better  with  the  time,"  she  said,  "  than  wasting 
it  in  asking  riddles  that  have  no  answers." 

"  If  you  knew  Time  as  well  as  I  do,"  said  the  Hat- 
ter, "  you  wouldn't  talk  about  wasting  it.     It's  him" 

"  I  don't  know  what  vou  mean,"  said  Alice. 

"  Of  course  you  don't !  "  the  Hatter  said,  tossing  his 
head  contemptuously.  "  I  dare  say  you  never  even 
spoke  to  Time !  " 

"  Perhaps  not,"  Alice  cautiously  replied :  "  but  I 
know  I  have  to  beat  time  when  I  learn  music." 


74 


ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 


"  Ah !  that  accounts  for  it,"  said  the  Hatter.  "  He 
won't  stand  beating.  Xow,  if  you  only  kept  on  good 
terms  with  him,  he'd  do  almost  anything  von  liked 
with  the  clock.  For  instance,  suppose  it  were  nine 
o'clock  in  the  morning,  just  time  to  begin  lessons:  you'd 
only  have  to  whisper  a  hint  to  Time,  and  round  goes  the 
clock  in  a  twinkling !  Half^ast  one,  time  for  din- 
ner !  " 

("  I  only  wish  it  was,"  the  Alarch  Hare  said  to 
itself  in  a  whisper.) 

"  That  would  be  grand,  certainly,"  said  Alice, 
thoughtfully :  "  but  then — I  shouldn't  be  hungry  for  it, 
vou  know." 

"  Xot  at  first,  perhaps,"  said  the  Hatter:  "but  you 
could  keep  it  to  half-past  one  as  long  as  you  liked." 

"  Is  that  the  way  you  manage  ?  "  Alice  asked. 

The  Hatter  shook  his  head  mournfully.     "  Xot  I," 

he  replied.     "  We  quarrelled  last  March just  before 

he  went  mad,  you  know "  (pointing  with  his  tea- 
spoon at  the  March  Hare,)   " it  was  at  the  great 


A  MAD  TEA-PARTY.  ?5 

concert  given  by  the  Queen  of  Hearts,  and  I  had  to 
sing — 

'  Twinkle,  twinkle,  little  bat ! 
How  I  wonder  what  you're  at!' 

You  know  the  song  perhaps  ?  " 

"  I've  heard  something  like  it,"  said  Alice. 

"  It  goes  on,  you  know,"  the  Hatter  continued,  "  in 
this  way: — 

'  Up  above  the  world  you  fly, 
Like  a  tea  tray  in  the  sky. 

Twinkle,  twinkle " 


Here  the  Dormouse  shook  itself,  and  began  singing 

in  its  sleep,  "  Twinkle,  twinkle,  twinkle,  twinkle " 

and  went  on  so  long  that  they  had  to  pinch  it  to  make  it 
stop. 

"  Well,  I'd  hardly  finished  the  first  verse,"  said  the 
Hatter,  "when  the  Queen  bawled  out:  'He's  murder- 
ing the  time !     Off  with  his  head  !  '  " 

"  How  dreadfully  savage !  "  exclaimed  Alice. 

"  And  ever  since  that,"  the  Hatter  went  on  in  a 
mournful  tone,  "  he  won't  do  a  thing  I  ask !  It's  al- 
ways six  o'clock  now." 

A  bright  idea  came  into  Alice's  head.  "  Is  that  the 
reason  so  many  tea-things  are  put  out  here  % "  she 
asked. 

"  Yes,  that's  it,"  said  the  Hatter,  with  a  sigh ;  "  it's 
always  tea-time,  and  we've  no  time  to  wash  the  things 
between  whiles." 

"  Then  you  keep  moving  round,  I  suppose  ?  "  said 
Alice. 

"  Exactly  so,"  said  the  Hatter :  "  as  the  things  get 
used  up." 


76  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

"  But  when  you  come  to  the  beginning  again  ? " 
Alice  ventured  to  ask. 

"  Suppose  we  change  the  subject,"  the  March  Hare 
interrupted,  yawning.  "  I'm  getting  tired  of  this.  I 
vote  the  young  lady  tells  us  a  story." 

"  I'm  afraid  I  don't  know  one,"  said  Alice,  rather 
alarmed   at  the  proposal. 

"  Then  the  Dormouse  shall !  "  they  both  cried. 
"  Wake  up,  Dormouse !  "  And  they  pinched  it  on  both 
sides  at  once. 

The  Dormouse  slowly  opened  his  eyes.  "  I  wasn't 
asleep,"  he  said,  in  a  hoarse,  feeble  voice:  "I  heard 
every  word  you  fellows  were  saying." 

"  Tell  us  a  story !  "  said  the  March  Hare. 

"  Yes,  please  do !  "  pleaded  Alice. 

"  And  be  quick  about  it,"  added  the  Hatter,  "  or 
you'll  be  asleep  again  before  it's  done." 

"  Once  upon  a  time  there  were  three  little  sisters," 
the  Dormouse  began  in  a  great  hurry;  ''and  their 
names  were  Elsie,  Lacie,  and  Tillie;  and  they  lived 
at  the  bottom  of  a  well " 

"  What  did  they  live  on  ?  "  said  Alice,  who  always 
took  a  great  interest  in  questions  of  eating  and  drink- 
ing. 

"  They  lived  on  treacle,"  said  the  Dormouse,  after 
thinking  a  minute  or  two. 

"  They  couldn't  have  done  that,  you  know,"  Alice 
gently  remarked :  "  they'd  have  been  ill." 

"So  they  were,"  said  the  Dormouse;  "very  ill." 

Alice  tried  a  little  to  fancy  to  herself  what  such  an 
extraordinary  way  of  living  would  be  like,  but  it  puz- 
zled her  too  much,  so  she  went  on :  "  But  why  did  they 
live  at  the  bottom  of  a  well  ?  " 

"  Take  some  more  tea,"  the  March  Hare  said  to 
Alice,  very  earnestly. 


A  MAD  TEA-PARTY.  77 

u  I've  had  nothing  yet,"  Alice  replied,  in  an  offended 
tone,   "  so  I  can't  take  more." 

"  You  mean,  you  can't  take  less"  said  the  Hatter : 
"  it's  very  easy  to  take  more  than  nothing." 

"  Kobody  asked  your  opinion,"  said  Alice. 

"  Who's  making  personal  remarks  now  ?  "  the  Hat- 
ter asked,  triumphantly. 

Alice  did  not  quite  know  what  to  say  to  this:  so  she 
helped  herself  to  some  tea  and  bread  and  butter,  and 
then  turned  to  the  Dormouse,  and  repeated  her  ques- 
tion.  "  Why  did  they  live  at  the  bottom  of  a  well  ? ': 

The  Dormouse  again  took  a  minute  or  two  to  think 
about,  it,  and  then  said,  "  It  was  a  treacle-well." 

"  There's  no  such  thing!  "  Alice  was  beginning  very 
angrily,  but  the  Hatter  and  the  March  Hare  went  "  Sh ! 
sh !  "  and  the  Dormouse  sulkily  remarked,  "  If  you 
can't  be  civil,  you'd  better  finish  the  story  for  your- 
self." 

"  ISTo,  please  go  on  !  "  Alice  said  very  humbly :  "  I 
won't  interrupt  you  again.  I  dare  say  there  may  be 
one." 

"  One,  indeed !  "  said  the  Dormouse,  indignantly. 
However,  he  consented  to  go  on.  "  And  so  these  three 
little  sisters — they  were  learning  to  draw,  you  know — " 

"  What  did  they  draw  ?  "  said  Alice,  quite  forgetting 
her  promise. 

"  Treacle,"  said  the  Dormouse,  without  considering 
at  all  this  time. 

"  I  want  a  clean  cup,"  interrupted  the  Hatter :  "  let's 
all  move  one  place  on." 

He  moved  on  as  he  spoke,  and  the  Dormouse  fol- 
lowed him :  the  March  Hare  moved  into  the  Dormouse's 
place,  and  Alice  rather  unwillingly  took  the  place  of 
the  March  Hare.  The  Hatter  was  the  only  one  who  got 
any  advantage  from  the  change :  and  Alice  was  a  good 


78  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

deal  worse  off  than  before,  as  the  March  Hare  had 
just  upset  the  milk  jug  into  his  plate. 

Alice  did  not  wish  to  offend  the  Dormouse  again,  so 
she  began  very  cautiously :  "  But  I  don't  understand. 
Where  did  they  draw  the  treacle  from  ?  " 

"  You  can  draw  water  out  of  a  water-well,"  said  the 
Hatter ;  "  so  I  should  think  you  could  draw  treacle  out 
of  a  treacle-well — eh,   stupid?" 


"  But  they  were  in  the  well,"  Alice  said  to  the  Dor- 
mouse, not  choosing  to  notice  this  last  remark. 

Of  course  they  were,"  said  the  Dormouse, — "  well 


in." 


This  answer  so  confused  poor  Alice,  that  she  let  the 
Dormouse  go  on  for  some  time  without  interrupting 
it. 

"  They  were  learning  to  draw,"  the  Dormouse  went 
on,  yawning  and  rubbing  its  eyes,  for  it  was  getting 
very  sleepy ;  "  and  they  drew  all  manner  of  things — 
everything  that  begins  with  an  M " 


A  MAD  TEA-PARTY.  79 

"  Why  with  an  M  ?  "  said  Alice. 

"  Why  not  ?  "  said  the  March  Hare. 

Alice  was  silent. 

The  Dormouse  had  closed  its  eyes  by  this  time  and 
was  going  off  into  a  doze,  but,  on  being  pinched  by  the 
Hatter,  it  woke  up  again  with  a  little  shriek,  and  went 

on :  " that  begins  with  an  M,  such  as  mousetraps, 

and  the  moon,  and  memory,  and  muchness — you  know 
you  say  things  are  *  much  of  a  muchness ' — did 
you  ever  see  such  a  thing  as  a  drawing  of  a  much- 
ness %  " 

"  Really,  now  you  ask  me,"  said  Alice,  very  much 
confused,  "  I  don't  think " 

"  Then  you  shouldn't  talk,"  said  the  Hatter. 

This  piece  of  rudeness  was  more  than  Alice  could 
bear:  she  got  up  in  great  disgust,  and  walked  off:  the 
Dormouse  fell  asleep  instantly,  and  neither  of  the  oth- 
ers took  the  least  notice  of  her  going,  though  she  looked 
back  once  or  twice,  half  hoping  that  they  would  call 
after  her :  the  last  time  she  saw  them,  they  were  trying 
to  put  the  Dormouse  into  the  teapot. 

"  At  any  rate  I'll  never  go  there  again !  "  said  Alice, 
as  she  picked  her  way  through  the  wood. 

"  It's  the  stupidest  tea-party  I  ever  was  at  in  all  my 
life!" 

Just  as  she  said  this,  she  noticed  that  one  of  the 
trees  had  a  door  leading  right  into  it.  "  That's  very  cu- 
rious !  "  she  thought.  "  But  everything's  curious  to- 
dav.  I  think  I  mav  as  well  go  in  at  once."  And  in 
she  went. 

Once  more  she  found  herself  in  the  long  hall,  and 
close  to  the  little  glass  table.  "  ISTow,  I'll  manage  better 
this  time,"  she  said  to  herself,  and  began  by  taking 
the  little  golden  key,  and  unlocking  the  door  that  led 
into  the  garden.     Then  she  set  to  work  nibbling  at  the 


80 


ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 


mushroom  (she  had  kept  a  piece  of  it  in  her  pocket) 
till  she  was  about  a  foot  high :  then  she  walked  down 
the  little  passage:  and  then — she  found  herself  at  last 
in  the  beautiful  garden,  among  the  bright  flower  beds 
and  the  cool  fountains. 


CHAPTEE  VIII. 

THE  QUEEN'S  CROQUET-GROUND. 

A  large  rose-tree  stood  near  the  entrance  of  the  gar- 
den :  the  roses  growing  on  it  were  white,  but  there  were 
three  gardeners  at  it,  busily  painting  them  red.  Alice 
thought  this  a  very  curious  thing,  and  she  went  nearer 
to  watch  them,  and  just  as  she  came  up  to  them  she 
heard  one  of  them  say,  "  Look  out  now,  Five !  Don't 
go  splashing  paint  over  me  like  that  1  " 

"  I  couldn't  help  it,"  said  Five,  in  a  sulky  tone ; 
"  Seven  jogged  my  elbow." 

On  which  Seven  looked  up  and  said,  "  That's  right, 
Five !     Always  lay  the  blame  on  others !  " 

'  You'd  better  not  talk !  "  said  Five.  "  I  heard  the 
Queen  say  only  yesterday  you  deserved  to  be  be- 
headed! " 

"  What  for  ?  "  said  the  one  who  had  spoken  first. 

"  That's  none  of  your  business,  Two !  "  said  Seven. 

"  Yes,  it  is  his  business !  "  said  Five,  "  and  I'll  tell 
him — it  was  for  bringing  the  cook  tulip-roots  instead 
of  onions." 

Seven  flung  down  his  brush,  and  had  just  begun, 
"  Well,  of  all  the  unjust  things — "  when  his  eyes 
chanced  to  fall  upon  Alice,  as  she  stoood  watching  them, 
and  he  checked  himself  suddenly :  the  others  looked 
round  also ;  and  all  of  them  bowed  low. 

"  Would  you  tell  me,   please,"   said  Alice,   a  little 
timidly,  "  why  you  are  painting  those  roses  ?  " 
6  81 


82  ILICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 


vm& 


*&&&$&. 


'Ss- 


:S 


Five  and  Seven  said  nothing,  but  looked  at  Two. 
Two  began,  in  a  low  voice,  "  Why,  the  fact  is,  you  see, 
Miss,  this  here  ought  to  have  been  a  red  rose-tree,  and 
we  put  a  white  one  in  by  mistake,  and  if  the  Queen 
was  to  find  it  out,  we  should  all  have  our  heads  cut  off, 
you  know.  So,  you  see,  Miss,  we're  doing  our  best,  afore 
she  comes,  to — "  At  this  moment  Five,  who  had  been 
anxiously  looking  across  the  garden,  called  out  "  The 
Queen !  The  Queen !  '  and  the  three  gardeners  in- 
stantly threw  themselves  flat  upon  their  faces.  There 
was  a  sound  of  many  footsteps,  and  Alice  looked  round, 
eager  to  see  the  Queen. 

First  came  ten  soldiers  earrving  clubs ;  these  were 
all  shaped  like  the  three  gardeners,  oblong  and  flat, 
with  their  hands  and  feet  at  the  corners:  next  the  ten 
courtiers;    these   were  ornamented   all   over  with   dia- 


( 

THE  QUEENS  CROQUET-GROUND.  J3 

monds,  and  walked  two  and  two,  as  the  soldiers  did. 
After  these  came  the  royal  children ;  there  were  ten  of 
them,  and  the  little  dears  came  jumping  merrily  along 
hand  in  hand,  in  couples  :  they  were  all  ornamented  with 
hearts.  Next  came  the  guests,  mostly  Kings  and 
Queens,  and  among  them  Alice  recognized  the  White 
Rabbit :  it  was  talking  in  a  hurried,  nervous  manner, 
smiling  at  everything  that  was  said,  and  went  by  with- 
out noticing  her.  Then  followed  the  Knave  of  Hearts, 
carrying  the  King's  crown  on  a  crimson  velvet  cushion ; 
and,  last  of  all  this  grand  procession,  came  THE  KING 
AND  QUEEN  OF  HEARTS. 

Alice  was  rather  doubtful  whether  she  ought  not  to 
lie  down  on  her  face  like  the  three  gardeners,  but  she 
could  not  remember  ever  having  heard  of  such  a  rule 
at  processions;  "  and  besides,  what  would  be  the  use  of 
a  procession,"  she  thought,  "  if  people  had  all  to  lie 
down  on  their  faces,  so  that  they  couldn't  see  it  \  "  So 
she  stood  where  she  was,  and  waited. 

When  the  procession  came  opposite  to  Alice,  they 
all  stopped  and  looked  at  her,  and  the  Queen  said 
severely,  "  Who  is  this  ? "  She  said  it  to  the  Knave  of 
Hearts,  who  only  bowed  and  smiled  in  reply. 

"  Idiot !  ' "  said  the  Queen,  tossing  her  head  impa- 
tiently ;  and,  turning  to  Alice,  she  went  on,  "  What's 
your  name,  child  ?  " 

"  My  name  is  Alice,  so  please  your  Majesty,"  said 
Alice,  very  politely ;  but  she  added,  to  herself,  "  Why, 
they're  only  a  pack  of  cards,  after  all.  I  needn't  be 
afraid  of  them  !  " 

"  And  who  are  these?"  said  the  Queen,  pointing  to 
the  three  gardeners  who  were  lying  round  the  rose- 
tree  ;  for  you  see,  as  they  were  lying  on  their  faces,  and 
the  pattern  on  their  backs  was  the  same  as  the  rest  of 
the  pack,  she  could  not  tell  whether  they  were  garden- 


34:    ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 


-ers,  or  soldiers,  or  courtiers,  or  three  of  her  own  chil- 
dren. 

"  Plow  should  /  know  %  "  said  Alice,  surprised  at  her 
own  courage.     "  It's  no  business  of  mine." 

The  Queen  turned  crimson  with  fury,  and,  after 
glaring  at  her  for  a  moment  like  a  wild  beast,  began 
screaming,  "Off  with  her  head!     Off — " 

"  Konsense !  "  said  Alice,  very  loudly  and  decidedly, 
and  the  Queen  was  silent. 

The  King  laid  his  hand  upon  her  arm,  and  timidly 
•said,  "  Consider,  my  dear :  she  is  only  a  child !  " 


THE  QUEEN'S  CROQUET-GROUND.  85 

The  Queen  turned  angrily  away  from  him,  and  said 
to  the  Knave,  "  Turn  them  over !  " 

The  Knave  did  so,  very  carefully,  with  one 
foot. 

"Get  up!  "  said  the  Queen,  in  a  shrill,  loud  voice, 
and  the  three  gardeners  instantly  jumped  up,  and  began 
bowing  to  the  King,  the  Queen,  the  royal  children,  and 
everybody  else. 

"  Leave  off  that !  "  screamed  the  Queen.  "  You 
make  me  giddy."  And  then,  turning  to  the  rose-tree, 
she  went  on,  "  What  have  you  been  doing  here  %  " 

"  May  it  please  your  Majesty,"  said  Two,  in  a  very 
humble  tone,  going  down  on  one  knee  as  he  spoke,  "  we 
were  trying — " 

"  I  see !  "  said  the  Queen,  who  had  meanwhile  been 
examining  the  roses.  "  Off  with  their  heads !  "  and 
the  procession  moved  on,  three  of  the  soldiers  remaining 
behind  to  execute  the  unfortunate  gardeners,  who  ran 
to  Alice  for  protection. 

"  You  shan't  be  beheaded !  "  said  Alice,  and  she  put 
them  into  a  large  flower  pot  that  stood  near.  The  three 
soldiers  wandered  about  for  a  minute  or  two,  looking 
for  them,  and  then  quietly  marched  off  after  the  others. 

"  Are  their  heads  off  ?  "  shouted  the  Queen. 

"  Their  heads  are  gone,  if  it  please  your  Majesty !  " 
the  soldiers  shouted  in  reply. 

"  That's  right !  "  shouted  the  Queen.  "  Can  you 
play  croquet  ?  " 

The  soldiers  were  silent,  and  looked  at  Alice,  as  the 
question  was  evidently  meant  for  her. 

"  Yes  !  "  shouted  Alice. 

"  Come  on,  then !  "  roared  the  Queen,  and  Alice 
joined  the  procession,  wondering  very  much  what  would 
happen  next. 

It's — it's  a  very  fine  day !  "  said  a  timid  voice  at 


K 


86  ALICES  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

her  side.     She  was  walking  by  the  'White  Rabbit,  who 
was  peeping  anxiously  into  her  face. 

"Very,"  said  Alice: — "  where's  the  Duchess?'1 

"  Hush  !  Hush  !  "  said  the  Rabbit  in  a  low,  hurried 
tone.  He  looked  anxiously  over  his  shoulder  as  he 
spoke,  and  then  raised  himself  upon  tiptoe,  put  his 
mouth  close  to  her  ear,  and  whispered,  "  She's  under 
sentence  of  execution." 

"  What  for  I  "  said  Alice. 

"  Did  you  say  '  What  a  pity ! '  ?  "  the  Rabbit  asked. 

"  No,  I  didn't,"  said  Alice:  "I  don't  think  it's  at 
all  a  pity.     I  said  '  What  for  \  '  " 

"  She  boxed  the  Queen's  ears — "  the  Rabbit  began. 
Alice  gave  a  little  scream  of  laughter.     "  Oh,  hush  !  ' 
the   Rabbit   whispered,    in    a   frightened   tone.      "  The 
Queen  will  hear  you !     You  see  she  came  rather  late, 
and  the  Queen  said — " 

"  Get  to  your  places !  "  shouted  the  Queen,  in  a  voice 
of  thunder,  and  people  began  running  about  in  all  di- 
rections, tumbling  up  against  each  other :  however,  they 
got  settled  down  in  a  minute  or  two,  and  the  game  be- 
gan. 

Alice  thought  she  had  never  seen  such  a  curious  cro- 
quet-ground in  her  life:  it  was  all  ridges  and  furrows; 
the  croquet-balls  were  live  hedge-hogs,  and  the  mallets 
were  live  flamingoes,  and  the  soldiers  had  to  double 
themselves  up  and  stand  on  their  hands  and  feet,  to 
make  the  arches. 

The  chief  difficulty  Alice  found  at  first  was  in  man- 
aging her  flamingo :  she  succeeded  in  getting  its  body 
tucked  awav,  comfortablv  enoueh,  under  her  arm,  with 
its  leg's  hanging  down,  but  generally,  just  as  she  had 
got  its  neck  nicely  straightened  out,  and  was  going  to 
give  the  hedgehog  a  blow  with  its  head,  it  would  twist 
itself  round  and  look  up  into  her  face,  with  such  a  puz- 


THE  QUEEN'S  CROQUET-GROUND. 


87 


zled  expression  that  she  could  not  help  bursting  out 
laughing:  and  when  she  had  got  its  head  down,  and 
was  going  to  begin  again,  it  was  very  provoking  to  find 
that  the  hedgehog  had  unrolled  itself,  and  was  in  the 
act  of  crawling  away:  besides  all  this,  there  was  gen- 
erally a  ridge  or  a  furrow  in  the  way  wherever  she 
wTanted  to  send  the  hedgehog  to,  and,  as  the  doubled-up 
soldiers  were  always  getting  up  and  walking  off  to  other 
parts  cf  the  ground,  Alice  soon  came  to  the  conclusion 
that  it  was  a  very  difficult  e;ame  indeed. 

The  players  all  played  at  once  without  waiting  for 
turns,  quarrelling  all  the  while,  and  fighting  for  the 
hedgehogs;  and  in  a  very  short  time  the  Queen  was  in 
a  furious  passion,  and  went  stamping  about,  and  shout- 
ing, "  Off  with  his  head !  "or  "  Off  with  her  head!  " 
about  once  in  a  minute. 

Alice  began  to  feel  very  uneasy:  to  be  sure,  she  had 
not  as  yet  had  any  dispute  with  the  Queen,  but  she 


SS  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

knew  that  it  might  happen  any  minute,  "  and  then," 
thought  she,  "  what  would  become  of  me  ?  They're 
dreadfully  fond  of  beheading  people  here:  the  great 
wonder  is,  that  there's  any  one  left  alive!  ' 

She  was  looking  about  for  some  way  of  escape,  and 
wondering  whether  she  could  get  away  without  being 
seen,  when  she  noticed  a  curious  appearance  in  the  air: 
it  puzzled  her  very  much  at  first,  but  after  watching  it 
a  minute  or  two  she  made  it  out  to  be  a  grin,  and  she 
said  to  herself,  "It's  the  Cheshire  Cat:  now  I  shall 
have  somebody  to  talk  to." 

"  How  are  vou  setting  on  ?  "  said  the  Cat,  as  soon  as 

■ZOO  7 

there  was  mouth  enough  for  it  to  speak  with. 

Alice  waited  till  the  eyes  appeared,  and  then  nodded. 
"  It's  no  use  speaking  to  it,"  she  thought,  "  till  its  ears 
have  come,  or  at  least  one  of  them."  In  another  minute 
the  whole  head  appeared,  and  then  Alice  put  down  her 
flamingo,  and  began  an  account  of  the  game,  feeling 
very  glad  she  had  some  one  to  listen  to  her.  The  Cat 
seemed  to  think  that  there  was  enough  of  it  now  in 
sight,  and  no  more  of  it  appeared. 

"  I  don't  think  they  play  at  all  fairly,"  Alice  began, 
in  rather  a  complaining  tone,  "  and  they  all  quarrel  so 
dreadfully  one  can't  hear  oneself  speak — and  they  don't 
seem  to  have  any  rules  in  particular ;  at  least,  if  there 
are,  nobody  attends  to  them — and  you've  no  idea  how 
confusing  it  is  all  the  things  being  alive ;  for  instance, 
there's  the  arch  I've  got  to  go  through  next  walking 
about  at  the  other  end  of  the  ground — and  I  should 
have  croqueted  the  Queen's  hedgehog  just  now,  only  it 
ran  away  when  it  saw  mine  coming !  " 

u  How  do  you  like  the  Queen  ?  "  said  the  Cat,  in  a 
low  voice. 

"  "Not  at  all,"  said  Alice :  "  she's  so  extremely — " 
Just  then  she  noticed  that  the  Queen  was  close  behind 


THE  QUEEN'S  CROQUET-GROUND.  89 

her,  listening:  so  she  went  on  " — likely  to  win,  that 
it's  hardly  worth  while  finishing  the  game." 

The  Queen  smiled  and  passed  on. 

"  Who  are  you  talking  to  ?  "  said  the  King,  coming 
up  to  Alice,  and  looking  at  the  Cat's  head  with  great 
curiosity. 

"  It's  a  friend  of  mine — a  Cheshire  Cat,"  said  Alice : 
"  allow  me  to  introduce  it." 

"I  don't  like  the  look  of  it  at  all,"  said  the  King: 
"  however,  it  may  kiss  my  hand  if  it  likes." 

"  I'd   rather   not,"   the   Cat   remarked. 

"  Don't  be  impertinent,"  said  the  King,  "  and  don't 
look  at  me  like  that !  "  He  got  behind  Alice  as  he 
spoke. 

"  A  cat  may  look  at  a  king,"  said  Alice.  "  I've  read 
that  in  some  book,  but  I  don't  remember  where." 

"  Well,  it  must  be  removed,"  said  the  King  very  de- 
cidedly, and  he  called  to  the  Queen,  who  was  passing 
at  the  moment,  "  My  dear !  I  wish  you  would  have  this 
cat  removed !  " 

The  Queen  had  only  one  way  of  settling  all  difficul- 
ties, great  or  small.  "  Off  with  his  head !  "  she  said 
without  even  looking  round. 

"  I'll  fetch  the  executioner  myself,"  said  the  King, 
eagerly,  and  he  hurried  off. 

Alice  thought  she  might  as  well  go  back  and  see 
how  the  game  was  going  on,  as  she  heard  the  Queen's 
voice  in  the  distance,  screaming  with  passion.  She 
had  already  heard  her  sentence  three  of  the  players  to 
be  executed  for  having  missed  their  turns,  and  she  did 
not  like  the  look  of  things  at  all,  as  the  game  was  in 
such  confusion  that  she  never  knew  whether  it  was  her 
turn  or  not.  So  she  went  off  in  search  of  her  hedge- 
hog. 

The  hedgehog  was  engaged  in  a  fight  with  another 


90    ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 


hedgehog,  which  seemed  to  Alice  an  excellent  opportu- 
nity for  croqueting  one  of  them  with  the  other:  the  only 
difficulty  was,  that  her  flamingo  was  gone  across  to  the 
other  side  of  the  garden,  where  Alice  could  see  it  trying 
in  a  helpless  sort  of  way  to  fly  up  into  a  tree. 

By  the  time  she  had  caught  the  flamingo  and  brought 
it  back,  the  fight  was  over,  and  both  the  hedgehogs  were 
out  of  sight :  "  but  it  doesn't  matter  much,"  thought 
Alice,  "  as  all  the  arches  are  gone  from  this  side  of  the 
ground."  So  she  tucked  it  away  under  her  arm,  that 
it  might  not  escape  again,  and  went  back  to  have  a 
little  more  conversation  with  her  friend. 

When  she  got  back  to  the  Cheshire  Cat,  she  was  sur- 


THE  QUEEN'S  CROQUET-GROUND.  91 

prised  to  find  quite  a  large  crowd  collected  round  it: 
there  was  a  dispute  going  on  between  the  executioner, 
the  King,  and  the  Queen,  who  were  all  talking  at  once, 
while  all  the  rest  were  quite  silent,  and  looked  very 
uncomfortable. 

The  moment  Alice  appeared,  she  was  appealed  to  by 
all  three  to  settle  the  question,  and  they  repeated  their 
arguments  to  her,  though,  as  they  all  spoke  at  once, 
she  found  it  very  hard  to  make  out  exactly  what  they 
said. 

The  executioner's  argument  was,  that  you  couldn't 
cut  off  a  head  unless  there  was  a  body  to  cut  it  off 
from :  that  he  had  never  had  to  do  such  a  thing  before, 
and  he  wasn't  going  to  begin  at  his  time  of  life. 

The  King's  argument  was,  that  anything  that  had 
a  head  could  be  beheaded,  and  that  you  weren't  to  talk 
nonsense. 

The  Queen's  argument  was,  that  if  something  wasn't 
done  about  it  in  less  than  no  time,  she'd  have  every- 
body executed,  all  round.  (It  was  this  last  remark  that 
had  made  the  whole  party  look  so  grave  and  anxious.) 

Alice  could  think  of  nothing  else  to  say  but  "  It  be- 
longs to  the  Duchess :  you'd  better  ask  her  about  it." 

"  She's  in  prison,"  the  Queen  said  to  the  execu- 
tioner :  ,"  fetch  her  here."  And  the  executioner  went 
off  like  an  arrow. 

The  Cat's  head  began  fading  away  the  moment  he 
was  gone,  and,  by  the  time  he  had  come  back  with  the 
Duchess,  it  had  entirely  disappeared :  so  the  King  and 
the  executioner  ran  wildly  up  and  down  looking  for 
it,  while  the  rest  of  the  party  went  back  to  the  game. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

THE    MOCK    TURTLE'S    STORY. 

"  You  can't  think  how  glad  I  am  to  see  you  again, 
you  dear  old  thing!  "  said  the  Duchess,  as  she  tucked 
her  arm  affectionately  into  Alice's,  and  they  walked 
off  together. 

Alice  was  very  glad  to  find  her  in  such  a  pleasant- 
temper,  and  thought  to  herself  that  perhaps  it  was  only 
the  pepper  that  had  made  her  so  savage  when  they  met 
in  the  kitchen.  "  When  I'm  a  Duchess,"  she  said  to 
herself,  (not  in  a  very  hopeful  tone  though,)  "  I  won't 
have  any  pepper  in  my  kitchen  at  all.  Soup  does  very 
well  without — Maybe,  it's  always  pepper  that  makes 
people  hot-tempered,"  she  went  on,  very  much  pleased 
at  having  found  out  a  new  kind  of  rule,  "  and  vinegar 
that  makes  them  sour — and  camomile  that  makes  them 
bitter — and — and  barley-sugar  and  such  things  that 
make  children  sweet-tempered.  I  only  wish  people 
knew  that:  then  they  wouldn't  be  so  stingy  about  it, 
you  know — " 

She  had  quite  forgotten  the  Duchess  by  this  time, 
and  was  a  little  startled  when  she  heard  her  voice  close 
to  her  ear.  "  You're  thinking  about  something,  my 
dear,  and  that  makes  you  forget  to  talk.  I  can't  tell 
you  just  now  what  the  moral  of  that  is,  but  I  shall  re- 
member it  in  a  bit." 

"  Perhaps  it  hasn't  one,"  Alice  ventured  to  remark. 

"  Tut,  tut,  child !  "  said  the  Duchess.  "  Everything's 
92 


THE  MOCK  TURTLE'S  STORY. 


93 


got  a  moral,  if  only  you  can  find  it."    And  she  squeezed 
herself  up  closer  to  Alice's  side  as  she  spoke. 

Alice  did  not  much  like  her  keeping  so  close  to  her : 
first,  because  the  Duchess  was  very  ugly,  and  secondly, 
because  she  was  exactly  the  right  height  to  rest  her 
chin  on  Alice's  shoulder,  and  it  was  an  uncomfortably 


sharp  chin.  However,  she  did  not  like  to  be  rude,  so 
she  bore  it  as  well  as  she  could. 

"  The  game's  going  on  rather  better  now,"  she  said, 
by  way  of  keeping  up  the  conversation  a  little. 

"  'Tis  so,"  said  the  Duchess :  "  and  the  moral  of  that 
is — '  Oh,  'tis  love,  'tis  love,  that  makes  the  world  go 
round !  '  " 

"  Somebody  said,"  Alice  whispered,  "  that  it's  done 
by  everybody  minding  their  own  business !  " 


94  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

"Ah,  well!  It  means  much  the  same  thing,"  said 
the  Duchess,  digging  her  sharp  little  chin  into  Alice's 
shoulder  as  she  added,  "  and  the  moral  of  that  is — ■ 
'  Take  care  of  the  sense,  and  the  sounds  will  take  care 
of  themselves.'  " 

"  How  fond  she  is  of  finding  morals  in  things !  ': 
Alice  thought  to  herself. 

"  I  daresay  you're  wondering  why  I  don't  put  my 
arm  round  your  waist,"  said  the  Duchess  after  a  pause : 
"  The  reason  is,  that  I'm  doubtful  about  the  temper  of 
your  flamingo.     Shall  I  try  the  experiment  ? ' 

"  He  might  bite,"  Alice  cautiously  replied,  net  feel- 
ing at  all  anxious  to  have  the  experiment  tried. 

"Very  true,"  said  the  Duchess:  "flamingoes  and 
mustard  both  bite.  And  the  moral  of  that  is — '  Birds 
of  a  feather  flock  together.'  " 

"  Only  mustard  isn't  a  bird,"  Alice  remarked. 

"  Eight,  as  usual,"  said  the  Duchess :  "  what  a  clear 
way  you  have  of  putting  things !  " 

"  It's  a  mineral,  I  think,"  said  Alice. 

"  Of  course  it  is,"  said  the  Duchess,  who  seemed 
ready  to  agree  to  everything  that  Alice  said :  "  there's 
a  large  mustard-mine  near  here.  And  the  moral  of 
that  is — '  The  more  there  is  of  mine,  the  less  there 
is  of  yours.'  " 

"  Oh,  I  know !  "  exclaimed  Alice,  who  had  not  at- 
tended to  this  last  remark,  "  it's  a  vegetable.  It  doesn't 
look  like  one,  but  it  is." 

"  I  quite  agree  with  you,"  said  the  Duchess,  "  and 
the  moral  of  that  is — '  Be  what  you  would  seem  to  be  ' 
or,  if  you'd  like  it  put  more  simply — '  Never  imagine 
yourself  not  to  be  otherwise  than  what  it  might  appear 
to  others  that  what  you  were  or  might  have  been  was 
not  otherwise  than  what  you  had  been  would  have  ap- 
peared to  them  to  be  otherwise.'  " 


THE  MOCK  TURTLE'S  STORY.  95 

"  I  think  I  should  understand  that  better,"  Alice 
said,  very  politely,  "  if  I  had  it  written  down :  but  I 
can't  quite  follow  it  as  you  say  it," 

"  That's  nothing  to  what  I  could  say  if  I  chose,"  the 
Duchess  replied  in  a  pleased  tone. 

"  Pray  don't  trouble  yourself  to  say  it  any  longer 
than  that,"  said  Alice. 

"  Oh,  don't  talk  about  trouble !  "  said  the  Duchess. 
"  I  make  vou  a  present  of  everything  I've  said  as 
yet." 

"  A  cheap  sort  of  present !  "  thought  Alice.  "  I'm 
glad  they  don't  give  birthday  presents  like  that!" 
But  she  did  not  venture  to  say  it  out  loud. 

"  Thinking  again  \ "  the  Duchess  asked,  with  an- 
other dig  of  her  sharp  little  chin. 

"  I've  a  right  to  think,"  said  Alice,  sharply,  for 
she  was  beginning  to  feel  a  little  worried. 

"  Just  about  as  much  right,"  said  the  Duchess,  "  as 
pigs  have  to  fly:  and  the  m — " 

But  here,  to  Alice's  great  surprise,  the  Duchess'  voice 
died  away,  even  in  the  middle  of  her  favorite  word 
"  moral,"  and  the  arm  that  was  linked  into  hers  began 
to  tremble.  Alice  looked  up,  and  there  stood  the  Queen 
in  front  of  them,  with  her  arms  folded,  frowning  like 
a  thunderstorm. 

"  A  fine  day,  your  Majesty !  "  the  Duchess  began,  in 
a  low,  weak  voice. 

"  ISJow,  I  give  you  fair  warning,"  shouted  the  Queen, 
stamping  on  the  ground  as  she  spoke ;  "  either  you  or 
your  head  must  be  off,  and  that  in  about  half  no  time ! 
Take  your  choice  !  " 

The  Duchess  took  her  choice,  and  was  gone  in  a 
moment. 

"  Let's  go  on  with  the  game,"  the  Queen  said  to 
Alice,   and  Alice  was  too  much  frightened  to  say  a 


96  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

word,  but  slowly  followed  her  back  to  the  croquet- 
ground. 

The  other  guests  had  taken  advantage  of  the  Queen's 
absence,  and  were  resting  in  the  shade :  however,  the 
moment  they  saw  her,  they  hurried  back  to  the  game, 
the  Queen  merely  remarking  that  a  moment's  delay 
would  cost  them  their  lives. 

All  the  time  they  were  playing  the  Queen  never  left 
off  quarrelling  with  the  other  players,  and  shouting 
"  Off  with  his  head !  "  or  "  Off  with  "her  head !  "  Those 
whom  she  sentenced  were  taken  into  custody  by  the  sol- 
diers, who,  of  course,  had  to  leave  off  being  arches  to 
do  this,  so  that  by  the  end  of  half  an  hour  or  so  there 
were  no  arches  left,  and  all  the  players,  except  the 
King,  the  Queen,  and  Alice,  were  in  custody,  and 
under  sentence  of  execution. 

Then  the  Queen  left  off,  quite  out  of  breath,  and  said 
to  Alice,   "  Have  you  seen  the  Mock  Turtle  vet  ? ' 

"  Xc,"  said  Alice.  "  I  don't  even  know  what  a 
Mock  Turtle  is." 

"  It's  the  thing  Mock  Turtle  Soup  is  made  from," 
said  the  Queen. 

"  I  never  saw  one,  or  heard  of  one,"  said  Alice. 

"  Come  on,  then,"  said  the  Queen,  "  and  he  shall  tell 
you  his  history." 

As  thev  walked  off  together,  Alice  heard  the  King 
say  in  a  low  voice,  to  the  company  generally,  "  You 
are  all  pardoned."  "  Come,  that's  a  good  thing!  "  she 
said  to  herself,  for  she  had  felt  quite  unhappy  at  the 
number  of  executions  the  Queen  had  ordered. 

They  very  soon  came  upon  a  Gryphon,  lying  fast 
asleep  in  the  sun.  (If  you  don't  know  what  a  Gryphon 
is,  look  at  the  picture.)  "Up,  lazy  thing!  "  said  the 
Queen,  "  and  take  this  young  lady  to  see  the  Mock  Tur- 
tle, and  to  hear  his  history.     I  must  go  back  and  see 


THE  MOCK  TURTLE'S  STORY. 


9? 


after  some  executions  I  have  ordered ;  "  and-  she  walked 
off,  leaving  Alice  alone  with  the  Gryphon.  Alice  did 
not  quite  like  the  look  of  the  creature,  but  on  the 
whole  she  thought  it  would  be  quite  as  safe  to  stay  with 
it  as  to  go  after  that  savage  Queen :  so  she  waited. 

The  Gryphon  sat  up  and  rubbed  its  eyes :  then  it 
watched  the  Queen  till  she  was  out  of  sight ;  then  it 
chuckled.  "  What  fun !  "  said  the  Gryphon,  half  to 
itself,  half  to  Alice. 

"  What  is  the  fun  ?  "  said  Alice. 

"  Why,  she,"  said  the  Gryphon.  "  It's  all  her  fancy, 
that :  they  never  executes  nobodv,  you  know.  Come 
on !  " 

"  Everybody  says  '  come  on !  '  here,"  thought  Alice, 
as  she  went  slowly  after  it :  "I  never  was  so  Ordered 
about  before  in  all  my  life,  never !  " 

They  had  not  gone  far  before  they  saw  the  Mock 
Turtle  in  the  distance,  sitting  sad  and  lonely  on  a  little 
ledge  of  rock,  and,  as  they  came  nearer,  Alice  could 
hear  him  sighing  as  if  his  heart  would  break.     She  pit- 


98  ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

ied  him  deeply.  "  What  is  his  sorrow  ?  "  she  asked  the 
Gryphon,  and  the  Gryphon  answered,  very  nearly  in 
the  same  words  as  before,  "  It's  all  his  fancy  that: 
lie  hasn't  got  no  sorrow,  you  know.     Come  on !  " 

So  they  went  up  to  the  Mock  Turtle,  who  looked  at 
them  with  large  eyes  full  of  tears,  but  said  nothing. 

"  This  here  young  lady,"  said  the  Gryphon,  "  she 
wants  for  to  know  your  history,  she  do." 

"  I'll  tell  it  her,"  said  the  Mock  Turtle,  in  a  deep, 
hollow  tone :  "  sit  down  both  of  you,  and  don't  speak  a 
word  till  I've  finished." 

So  they  sat  down,  and  nobody  spoke  for  some  min- 
utes. Alice  thought  to  herself,  "  I  don't  see  how  he  can 
ever  finish,  if  he  doesn't  begin."  But  she  waited  pa- 
tiently. 

"  Once,"  said  the  Mock  Turtle  at  last,  with  a  deep 
sigh,   "  I  was  a  real  Turtle." 

These  words  were  followed  by  a  very  long  silence, 
broken  only  by  an  occasional  exclamation  of 
"  Hjckrrh !  '  from  the  Gryphon,  and  the  constant 
heavy  sobbing  of  the  Mock  Turtle.  Alice  was  very 
nearly  getting  up  and  saying,  "  Thank  you,  sir,  for 
your  interesting  story,"  but  she  could  not  help  thinking 
there  must  be  more  to  come,  so  she  sat  still  and  said 
nothing. 

"  When  we  were  little,"  the  Mock  Turtle  went  on  at 
last,  more  calmly,  though  still  sobbing  a  little  now  and 
then,  "  we  went  to  school  in  the  sea.  The  master  was 
an  old  Turtle — we  used  to  call  him  Tortoise — " 

"  Why  did  you  call  him  Tortoise,  if  he  wasn't  one  ?  " 
Alice  asked. 

"  We  called  him  Tortoise  because  he  taught  us," 
said  the  Mock  Turtle,  angrily ;  "  really  you  are  very 
dull!" 

"  You  ought  to  be  ashamed  of  yourself  for  asking 


THE  MOCK  TURTLE'S  STORY. 


99 


such  a  simple  question,"  added  the  Gryphon,  and  then 
they  both  sat  silent  and  looked  at  poor  Alice,  who 
felt  ready  to  sink  into  the  earth.  At  last  the  Gryphon 
said  to  the  Mock  Turtle,  "  Drive  on,  old  fellow ! 
Don't  be  all  day  about  it !  "  and  he  went  on  in  these 
words. 

"  Yes,  we  went  to  school  in  the  sea,  though  you 
mayn't  believe  it — " 

"  I  never  said  I  didn't !  "  interrupted  Alice. 

"  You  did,"  said  the  Mock  Turtle. 


100        ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

"  Hold  your  tongue !  '  added  the  Gryphon,  before 
Alice  could  speak  again.  The  Mock  Turtle  went 
on. 

"  We  had  the  best  of  educations — in  fact,  we  went  to 
school  every  day — " 

'I've  been  to  a  day-school,  too,"  said  Alice;  "you 
needn't  be  so  proud  as  all  that." 

"With  extras?"  asked  the  Mock  Turtle,  a  little 
anxiously. 

"  Yes,"  said  Alice,  "  we  learned  French  and  music." 

"And  washing?"  said  the  Mock  Turtle. 

"  Certainly    not !  '     said    Alice,    indignantly. 

"  Ah !  Then  yours  wasn't  a  really  good  school," 
said  the  Mock  Turtle,  in  a  tone  of  great  relief.  "  Xow 
at  ours  they  had  at  the  end  of  the  bill,  '  French,  music, 
and  icashing — extra.'  " 

"  You  couldn't  have  wanted  it  much,"  said  Alice ; 
"  living  at  the  bottom  of  the  sea." 

"  I  couldn't  afford  to  learn  it,"  said  the  Mock 
Turtle,  with  a  sigh.  "  I  only  took  the  regular 
course." 

"  What  was  that  ?  "  inquired  Alice. 

"  Reeling  and  Writhing,  of  course,  to  begin  with," 
the  Mock  Turtle  replied:  "and  then  the  different 
branches  of  Arithmetic — Ambition,  Distraction,  Ug- 
lification,  and  Derision." 

"  I  never  heard  of  '  Us'lification,'  "  Alice  ventured 
to  say.     "  What  is  it  ?  " 

The  Gryphon  lifted  up  both  its  paws  in  surprise. 
"Never  heard  of  uclifving!'  it  exclaimed.  "You 
know  what  to  beautify  is,  I  suppose  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  said  Alice,  doubtfully :  "  it  means — to — 
make — anything — prettier." 

"  Well,  then,"  the  Gryphon  went  on,  "  if  you  don't 
know  what  to  uglify  is,  you  are  a  simpleton." 


THE  MOCK  TURTLE'S  STORY.  101 

Alice  did  not  feel  encouraged  to  ask  any  more  ques- 
tions about  it,  so  she  turned  to  the  Mock  Turtle,  and 
said,  "  What  else  had  you  to  learn  ?  " 

"Well,  there  was  Mystery,"  the  Mock  Turtle  re- 
plied, counting  off  the  subjects  on  his  flappers, — "  Mys- 
tery, ancient  and  modern,  with  Seaography :  then 
Drawling — the  Drawling-master  was  an  old  conger-eel, 
that  used  to  come  once  a  week :  he  taught  us  Drawling, 
Stretching,  and  Fainting  in  Coils." 

"  What  was  that  like  ?  "  said  Alice. 

"  Well,  I  can't  show  it  you,  myself,"  the  Mock  Tur- 
tle said :  "  I'm  too  stiff.  And  the  Gryphon  never 
learnt  it." 

"  Hadn't  time,"  said  the  Gryphon :  "  I  went  to  the 
Classical  master,  though.  He  was  an  old  crab,  he 
was." 

"  I  never  went  to  him,"  the  Mock  Turtle  said,  with 
a  sigh:  "he  taught  Laughing  and  Grief,  they  used  to 
say." 

"  So  he  did,  so  he  did,"  said  the  Gryphon,  sighing  in 
his  turn,  and  both  creatures  hid  their  faces  in  their 
paws. 

"  And  how  many  hours  a  day  did  you  do  lessons  ?  " 
said  Alice,  in  a  hurry  to  change  the  subject. 

"  Ten  hours  the  first  dav,"  said  the  Mock  Turtle : 
"  nine  the  next,  and  so  on." 

"  What  a  curious  plan !  "  exclaimed  Alice. 

"  That's  the  reason  they're  called  lessons,"  the  Gry- 
phon remarked :  "  because  they  lessen  from  day  to 
day." 

This  was  quite  a  new  idea  to  Alice,  and  she  thought 
it  over  a  little  before  she  made  her  next  remark. 
"  Then  the  eleventh  day  must  have  been  a  holi- 
day?" 

"  Of  course  it  was,"  said  the  Mock  Turtle. 


102        ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

"  And  how  did  you  manage  on  the  twelfth  ?  "  Alice 
went  on,  eagerly. 

"  That's  enough  about  lessons,"  the  Gryphon  inter- 
rupted in  a  very  decided  tone :  "  tell  her  something 
about  the  games  now." 


>^^^_^/ 


CHAPTER  X. 

THE    LOBSTER    QUADRILLE. 

The  Mock  Turtle  sighed  deeply,  and  drew  the  back 
of  one  flapper  across  his  eyes.  He  looked  at  Alice  and 
tried  to  speak,  but  for  a  minute  or  two  sobs  choked  his 
voice.  "  Same  as  if  he  had  a  bone  in  his  throat,"  said 
the  Gryphon,  and  it  set  to  work  shaking  him  and 
punching  him  in  the  back.  At  last  the  Mock  Turtle 
recovered  his  voice,  and,  with  tears  running  down  his 
cheeks,  he  went  on  again : — 

"  You  may  not  have  lived  much  under  the  sea — " 
("  I  haven't,"  said  Alice) — "  and  perhaps  you  were 
never  even  introduced  to  a  lobster — "  (Alice  began  to 
say  "  I  once  tasted — "  but  checked  herself  hastily,  and 
said,  "  'No,  never") — "so  you  can  have  no  idea  what 
a  delightful  thing  a  Lobster  Quadrille  is !  " 

"  No,  indeed,"  said  Alice.  "  What  sort  of  a  dance 
is  it  ?  " 

"  Why,"  said  the  Gryphon,  "  you'  first  form  into  a 
line  along  the  seashore — " 

"  Two  lines !  "  cried  the  Mock  Turtle.  "  Seals,  tur- 
tles, salmon,  and  so  on :  then,  when  you've  cleared  all 
the  jelly-fish  out  of  the  way — " 

'  That  generally  takes  some  time,"  interrupted  the 
Gryphon. 

" — you  advance  twice — " 

"  Each  with  a  lobster  as  a  partner !  *'  cried  the  Gry- 
phon. 

"  Of    course,"    the    Mock    Turtle    said :    "  Advance 
twice,  set  to  partners — " 
103 


104        ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 


u 


1 — change  lobsters,  and  retire  in  same  order,"  con- 
tinued the  Gryphon. 

"  Then,  you  know,"  the  Mock  Turtle  went  on,  "  you 
throw  the — " 

"  The  lobsters !  "  shouted  the  Gryphon,  with  a  bound 
into  the  air. 

" — as  far  out  to  sea  as  you  can — " 

'*  Swim   after   them  !  '     screamed   the   Gryphon. 

"  Turn  a  somersault  in  the  sea !  ' '  cried  the  Mock 
Turtle,  capering  wildly  about. 

"  Change  lobsters  again !  '  yelled  the  Gryphon,  at 
the  top  of  its  voice. 

"  Back  to  land  again,  and — that's  all  the  first  fig- 
ure," said  the  Mock  Turtle,  suddenly  dropping  his 
voice,  and  the  two  creatures,  who  had  been  jumping 
about  like  mad  things  all  this  time,  sat  down  again  very 
sadly  and  quietly,   and  looked  at  Alice. 

"  It  must  be  a  very  pretty  dance,"  said  Alice,  tim- 
idly. 

"  Would  you  like  to  see  a  little  of  it  ? '  said  the 
Mock  Turtle. 

"  Very   much,    indeed,"    said    Alice. 

"  Come,  let's  try  the  first  figure !  "  said  the  Mock 
Turtle  to  the  Gryphon.  "  We  can  do  it  without  lob- 
sters, vou  know.      Which  shall  sing?" 

"  Oh,  you  sing,"  said  the  Gryphon.  "  I've  forgot- 
ten the  words." 

So  they  began  solemnly  dancing  round  and  round 
Alice,  everv  now  and  then  treading  on  her  toes  when 
they  passed  too  close,  and  waving  their  fore-paws  to 
mark  the  time,  while  the  Mock  Turtle  sang  this,  very 
slowly  and  sadly  : — 

" Will  you  walk  a  little  faster!"  said  a  whiting  to  a 
snail, 


THE  LOBSTER  QUADRILLE.  105 

"  There's  a  porpoise  close  behind  us,  and  he's  tread- 
ing on  my  tail. 
See  how  eagerly  the   lobsters  and  the   turtles  all  ad- 
vance ! 
They  are  waiting  on  the  shingle — will  you  come  and 
join  the  dance ?  " 
Will  you,  won't  you,  will  you,  won't  you,  will  you 

join  the  dance? 
Will  you,  won't  you,  will  you,  won't  you,  ivon't  you 
join  the  dance? 

™  You   can   really   have   no   notion   how   delightful   it 

ivill  be 
When  they  take  us  up  and  throw  us,  with  the  lobsters, 

out  to  sea  !  " 
But  the  snail  replied  "Too  far,  too  far!"  and  gave  a 

look  askance — 
Said  he  thanked  the  whiting  kindly,  but  he  would  not 

join  the  dance. 
Would  not,  could  not,  would  not,  could  not,  would 

not  join  the  dance. 
Would  not,  could  not,  ivould  not,  could  not,  could 

not  join  the  dance. 

'What  matters  it  how  far  we  go?"  his  scaly  friend 

replied, 
"  There  is  another  shore,  you  know,  upon  the   other 

side. 
The    further    off    from    England    the    nearer    is    to 

France; 
Then  turn  not  pale,  beloved  snail,  but  come  and  join 
the  dance." 
Will  you,  won't  you,  will  you,  won't  you,  will  you 

join  the  dance? 
Will  you,  won't  you,  will  you,  won't  you,  won't  you 
join  the  dance? 


100        ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

"  Thank  you,  it's  a  very  interesting  dance  to  watch," 
said  Alice,  feeling  very  glad  that  it  was  over  at  last; 
"  and  I  do  so  like  that  curious  song  about  the  whit- 
ing !  » 

"  Oh,  as  to  the  whiting,"  said  the  Mock  Turtle, 
"  thev — vou've  seen  them,  of  course  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  said  Alice,  "  I've  often  seen  them  at 
dinn — "  she  checked  herself  hastily. 

"  I  don't  know  where  Dinn  may  be,"  said  the  Mock 
Turtle,  "  but  if  you've  seen  them  so  often,  of  course 
vou  know  what  they're  like." 

"  I  believe  so,"  Alice  replied  thoughtfully.  "  They 
have  their  tails  in  their  mouths; — and  they're  all  over 
crumbs." 

"  You're  wrong  about  the  crumbs,"  said  the  Mock 
Turtle:  "crumbs  would  all  wash  off  in  the  sea.  But 
they  have  their  tails  in  their  mouths;  and  the  reason 
is — "  here  the  Mock  Turtle  yawned  and  shut  his  eyes. — 
"  Tell  her  about  the  reason  and  all  that,"  he  said  to 
the  Gryphon. 

"  The  reason  is,"  said  the  Gryphon,  "  that  they 
would  go  with  the  lobsters  to  the  dance.  So  they  got 
thrown  out  to  sea.  So  they  had  to  fall  a  long  way. 
So  they  got  their  tails  fast  in  their  mouths.  So  they 
couldn't  get  them  out  again.     That's  all." 

"  Thank  you,"  said  Alice,  "  it's  very  interesting.  I 
never  knew  so  much  about  a  whiting  before." 

"  I  can  tell  vou  more  than  that,  if  you  like,"  said 
the  Grvphon.     "  Do  vou  know  whv  it's  called  a  whit- 


1% 


g?" 

it 


I  never  thought  about  it,"  said  Alice.     "Why?': 
"It  does  {lie  boots  and  shoes/'  the  Gryphon  replied 

very  solemnly. 

Alice  was  thoroughly  puzzled.     "  Does  the  boots  and 

shoes !  "  she  repeated  in  a  wondering  tone. 


THE  LOBSTER  QUADRILLE.  107 

"  Why,  what  are  your  shoes  done  with  ?  "  said  the 
Gryphon.     "  I  mean,  what  makes  them  so  shiny  ?  " 

Alice  looked  down  at  them,  and  considered  a  little 
before  she  gave  her  answer.  "  They're  done  with  black- 
ing, I  believe." 

"  Boots  and  shoes  under  the  sea,"  the  Gryphon  went 
on  in  a  deep  voice,  "  are  done  with  whiting.  !Now  you 
know." 

"  And  what  are  they  made  of  ?  "  Alice  asked,  in  a 
tone  of  great  curiosity. 

"  Soles  and  eels,  of  course,"  the  Gryphon  replied, 
rather  impatiently :  "  any  shrimp  could  have  told  you 
that." 

"  If  I'd  been  the  whiting,"  said  Alice,  whose 
thoughts  were  still  running  on  the  song,  "  I'd  have  said 
to  the  porpoise,  '  Keep  back,  please :  we  don't  want 
you  with  us  !  '  " 

"  They  were  obliged  to  have  him  with  'them,"  the 
Mock  Turtle  said :  "  no  wise  fish  would  go  anywhere 
without  a  porpoise." 

"  Wouldn't  it  really  ?  "  said  Alice,  in  a  tone  of  great 
surprise. 

"Of  course  not,"  said  the  Mock  Turtle:  "why,  if 
a  fish  came  to  me,  and  told  me  he  was  going  a  journey, 
I  should  say,  '  With  what  porpoise  ? '  " 

"  Don't  you  mean  '  purpose  ? '  "  said  Alice. 

"  I  mean  what  I  say,"  the  Mock  Turtle  replied,  in 
an  offended  tone.  And  the  Gryphon  added,  "  Come, 
let's  hear  some  of  your  adventures." 

"  I  could  tell  you  my  adventures — beginning  from 
this  morning,"  said  Alice,  a  little  timidly :  "  but  it's 
no  use  going  back  to  yesterday,  because  I  was  a  differ- 
ent person  then." 

"  Explain  all  that,"  said  the  Mock  Turtle. 

"  No,  no !  the  adventures  first,"  said  the  Gryphon,  in 


108        ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

an  impatient  tone :  "  explanations  take  such  a  dreadful 
time." 

So  Alice  began  telling  them  her  adventures  from  the 
time  when  she  first  saw  the  White  Rabbit :  she  was  a 
little  nervous  about  it  just  at  first,  the  two  creatures 
got  so  close  to  her,  one  on  each  side,  and  opened  their 
eyes  and  mouths  so  very  wide,  but  she  gained  courage 
as  she  went  on.  Her  listeners  were  perfectly  quiet  till 
she  got  to  the  part  about  her  repeating  "  You  are  old, 
Father  William/'  to  the  Caterpillar,  and  the  words  all 
coming  different,  and  then  the  Mock  Turtle  drew  a 
long  breath,  and  said,  "  That's  very  curious." 

"  It's  all  about  as  curious  as  it  can  be,"  said  the 
Gryphon. 

"  It  all  came  different!  "  the  Mock  Turtle  repeated, 
thoughtfully.  "  I  should  like  to  hear  her  try  and  re- 
peat something  now.  Tell  her  to  begin."  He  looked 
at  the  Gryphon  as  if  he  thought  it  had  some  kind  of 
authority  over  Alice. 

"  Stand  up  and  repeat  '  'Tis  the  voice  of  the  slug- 
gard/ "  said  the  Gryphon. 

"  How  the  creatures  order  one  about,  and  make  one 
repeat  lessons !  "  thought  Alice.  "  I  might  just  as  well 
be  at  school  at  once."  However,  she  got  up,  and  began 
to  repeat  it,  but  her  head  was  so  full  of  the  Lobster 
Quadrille,  that  she  hardly  knew  what  she  was  saying, 
and  the  words  came  very  queer  indeed  :— 

'Tis  the  voice  of  the  lobster;  I  heard  him  declare, 
'  You   have    baked   me    too    brown,   I   must   sugar   my 

hair! ' 
As  a  duck  with  its  eyelids,  so  he  with  his  nose 
Trims  his  belt  and  his  buttons,  and  turns  out  his  toes/' 

"  That's  different  from  what  /  used  to  say  when  I 
was  a  child,"  said  the  Gryphon. 


THE  LOBSTER  QUADRILLE. 


109 


"  Well,  I  never  heard  it  before,"  said  the  Mock 
Turtle ;  "  but  it  sounds  uncommon  nonsense." 

Alice  said  nothing:  she  had  sat  down  again  with 
her  face  in  her  hands,  wondering  if  _  anything  would 
ever  happen  in  a  natural  way  again. 

"  I  should  like  to  have  it  explained,"  said  the  Mock 
Turtle. 


"  She  can't  explain  it,"  said  the  Gryphon,  hastily. 
"  Go  on  with  the  next  verse." 

"  But  about  his  toes  ?  "  the  Mock  Turtle  persisted. 
"  How  could  he  -turn  them  out  with  his  nose,  you 
know  ?  " 

"It's  the  first  position  in  dancing,"  Alice  said:  but 


HO   ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

she  was  dreadfully  puzzled  by  the  whole  thing,  and 
longed  to  change  the  subject. 

"  Go  on  with  the  next  verse,"  the  Gryphon  repeated, 
impatiently :   "  it  begins  '  /  passed  by  his  garden.  ' 

Alice  did  not  dare  to  disobey,  though  she  felt  sure 
it  would  all  come  wrong,  and  she  went  on  in  a  trem- 
bling voice : — 

"  I  passed  by  his  garden,  and  marked,  with  one  eye, 
How  the  owl  and  the  oyster  were  sharing  the  pie — " 

"  What  is  the  use  of  repeating  all  that  stuff,"  the 
Mock  Turtle  interrupted,  "  if  you  don't  explain  it  as 
you  go  on  ?  It's  by  far  the  most  confusing  thing  I 
ever  heard !  " 

"  Yes,  I  think  you'd  better  leave  off,"  said  the  Gry- 
phon, and  Alice  was  only  too  glad  to  do  so. 

"  Shall  we  try  another  figure  of  the  Lobster 
Quadrille  ?  "  the  Gryphon  went  on.  "  Or  would  you 
like  the  Mock  Turtle  to  sing  you  a  song  ?  " 

"  Oh,  a  song,  please,  if  the  Mock  Turtle  would  be 
so  kind,"  Alice  replied,  so  eagerly  that  the  Gryphon 
said,  in  a  rather  offended  tone,  "  ITm !  No  account- 
ing for  tastes !  Sing  her  '  Turtle  Soup,'  will  you,  old 
fellow  ?  " 

The  Mock  Turtle  sighed  deeply,  and  began,  in  a 
voice  sometimes  choked  with  sobs,  to  sing  this : — 

"  Beaut  if  id  Soup,  so  rich  and  green, 
Waiting  in  a  hot  tureen! 
Who  for  such  dainties  would  not  stoop? 
Soup  of  the  Evening,  beautiful  Soup! 
Soup  of  the  Evening,  beautiful  Soup! 

Beau — ootiful  Soo — oop! 

Beau — ootiful  Soo — oop! 
Soo — oop  of  the  e — e — evening, 

Beautiful,  beautiful  Soup! 


THE  LOBSTER   QUADRILLE.  m 

Beautiful  Soup!     Who   cares  for  fish, 
Game,  or  any  other  dish? 
Who  would  not  give  all  else  for  two  p 
enny worth  only  of  beautiful  Soup? 
Pennyworth   only   of    beautiful   Soup? 

Beau — o o t ifu I  So o — o op! 

Beau — ootifid  Soo — oop! 
Soo — oop  of  the  e — e — evening, 

Beautiful,  beauti—FUL  SOUP!" 


u 


Chorus  again !  "  cried  the  Gryphon,  and  the  Mock 
Turtle  had  just  begun  to  repeat  it,  when  a  cry  of  "  The 
trial's  beginning !  "  was  heard  in  the  distance. 

"  Come  on !  "  cried  the  Gryphon,  and,  taking  Alice 
by  the  hand,  it  hurried  off,  without  waiting  for  the  end 
of  the  song. 

"  What  trial  is  it  ?  "  Alice  panted  as  she  ran,  but 
the  Gryphon  only  answered,  "  Come  on  !  "  and  ran  the 
faster,  while  more  and  more  faintly  came,  carried  on 
the  breeze  that  followed  them,  the  melancholy  words : — 

Soo — oop  of  the  e — e — evening, 
Beautifid,   beautiful  Soup! 


CHAPTER  XL 


WHO    STOLE    THE    TARTS. 


The  King  and  Queen  of  Hearts  were  seated  on 
their  throne  when  they  arrived,  with  a  great  crowd 
assembled  about  them — all  sorts  of  little  birds  and 
beasts,  as  well  as  the  whole  pack  of  cards :  the  Knave 
was  standing  before  them,  in  chains,  with  a  soldier 
on  each  side  to  guard  him ;  and  near  the  King  was 
the  White  Rabbit,  with  a  trumpet  in  one  hand,  and 
a  scroll  of  parchment  in  the  other.  In  the  very  mid- 
dle of  the  court  was  a  table,  with  a  large  dish  of  tarts 
upon  it :  they  looked  so  good,  that  it  made  Alice  quite 
hungry  to  look  at  them — "  I  wish  they'd  get  the  trial 
done,"  she  thought,  "  and  hand  round  the  refresh- 
ments !  '  But  there  seemed  to  be  no  chance  of  this,  so 
she  began  looking  at  everything  about  her  to  pass  away 
the  time. 

Alice  had  never  been  in  a  court  of  justice  before,  but 
she  had  read  about  them  in  books,  and  she  was  quite 
pleased  to  find  that  she  knew  the  name  of  nearly  every- 
thing there.  "  That's  the  judge,"  she  said  to  herself, 
"  because  of  his  great  wig." 

The  judge,  by  the  way,  was  the  King,  and  as  he 
wore  his  crown  over  the  wig,  (look  at  the  frontispiece 
if  you  want  to  see  how  he  did  it,)  he  did  not  look  at  all 
comfortable,  and  it  was  certainly  not  becoming. 

"  And  that's  the  jury-box,"  thought  Alice,  "  and 
those  twelve  creatures,"  (she  was  obliged  to  say  "  crea- 
112 


WHO  STOLE  THE  TARTS?  H3 

tures,"  you  see,  because  some  of  them  were  animals, 
and  some  were  birds,)  "  I  suppose  they  are  the  jurors." 
She  said  this  last  word  two  or  three  times  over  to  her- 
self, being  rather  proud  of  it :  for  she  thought,  and 
rightly  too,  that  very  few  little  girls  of  her  age  knew 
the  meaning  of  it  at  all.  However,  "  jurymen  "  would 
have  done  just  as  well. 

The  twelve  jurors  were  all  writing  very  busily  on 
slates.  "  What  are  they  doing  ?  "  Alice  whispered  to 
the  Gryphon.  "  They  can't  have  anything  to  put  down 
yet,  before  the  trial's  begun." 

"  They're  putting  down  their  names,"  the  Gryphon 
whispered  in  reply,  "  for  fear  they  should  forget  them 
before  the  end  of  the  trial." 

"  Stupid  things !  "  Alice  began  in  a  loud,  indignant 
voice,  but  she  stopped  herself  hastily,  for  the  White 
Rabbit  cried  out,  "  Silence  in  the  court !  "  and  the 
King  put  on  his  spectacles  and  looked  anxiously  round, 
to  make  out  who  was  talking. 

Alice  could  see,  as  well  as  if  she  were  looking  over 
their  shoulders,  that  all  the  jurors  were  writing  down 
"  stupid  things !  "  on  their  slates,  and  she  could  even 
make  out  that  one  of  them  didn't  know  how  to  spell 
"  stupid,"  and  that  he  had  to  ask  his  neighbor  to  tell 
him.  "  A  nice  muddle  their  slates'll  be  in  before  the 
trial's  over !  "  thought  Alice. 

One  of  the  jurors  had  a  pencil  that  squeaked.  This, 
of  course,  Alice  could  not  stand,  and  she  went  round 
the  court  and  got  behind  him,  and  very  soon  found  an 
opportunity  of  taking  it  away.  She  did  it  so  quickly 
that  the  poor  little  juror  (it  was  Bill,  the  Lizard)  could 
not  make  out  at  all  what  had  become  of  it ;  so,  after 
hunting  all  about  for  it,  he  was  obliged  to  write  with 
one  finger  for  the  rest  of  the  day ;  and  this  was  of  very 
little  use,  as  it  left  no  mark  on  the  slate. 
8 


114        ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

<k  Herald,  read  the  accusation !  "  said  the  King. 

On  this  the  White  Rabbit  blew  three  blasts  on  the 
trumpet,  and  then  unrolled  the  parchment  scroll,  and 
read  as  follows : — 

"  The  Queen  of  Hearts,  she  7>iade  some  tarts, 
All  on  a  summer  day: 
The  Knave  of  Hearts,  he  stole  those  tarts, 
And  took  them  quite  away!" 


a 


Consider  your  verdict,"  the  King  said  to  his  jury. 


"  Not  yet,  not  yet !  "  the  Rabbit  hastily  interrupted. 
"  There's  a  great  deal  to  come  before  that !  ' 

"Call  the  first  witness,"  said  the  King;  and  the 
White  Rabbit  blew  three  blasts  on  the  trumpet,  and 
called  out,  "  First  witness !  " 

The  first  witness  was  the  Hatter.     He  came  in  with 


WHO  STOLE  THE  TARTS  ?  115 

a  teacup  in  one  hand,  and  a  piece  of  bread  and  butter 
in  the  other.  "  I  beg  pardon,  your  Majesty,"  he  began, 
"  for  bringing  these  m :  but  I  hadn't  quite  finished  my 
tea  when  I  was  sent  for." 

"  You  ought  to  have  finished,"  said  the  King. 
"  When  did  you  begin  ?  " 

The  Hatter  looked  at  the  March  Hare,  who  had 
followed  him  into  the  court,  arm-in-arm  with  the  Dor- 
mouse. "  Fourteenth  of  March,  I  think  it  was,"  he 
said. 

"  Fifteenth,"  said  the  March  Hare. 

"  Sixteenth,"  added  the  Dormouse. 

"  Write  that  down,"  the  King  said  to  the  jury,  and 
the  jury  eagerly  wrote  down  all  three  dates  on  their 
slates,  and  then  added  them  up,  and  reduced  the  an- 
swer to  shillings  and  pence. 

"  Take  off  your  hat,"  the  Kino-  said  to  the  Hatter. 

"  It  isn't  mine,"  said  the  Hatter. 

'Stolen!  "  the  King  exclaimed,  turning  to  the  jury, 
who  instantly  made  a  memorandum  of  the  fact. 

"  I  keep  them  to  sell,"  the  Hatter  added,  as  an  ex- 
planation :  "  I've  none  of  my  own.     I'm  a  hatter." 

Here  the  Queen  put  on  her  spectacles,  and  began 
staring  hard  at  the  Hatter,  who  turned  pale  and  fidgeted. 

""'Give  your  evidence,"  said  the  King;  "and  don't 
be  nervous,  or  I'll  have  you  executed  on  the  spot." 

This  did  not  seem  to  encourage  the  witness  at  all: 
he  kept  shifting  from  one  foot  to  the  other,  looking 
uneasily  at  the  Queen,  and  in  his  confusion  he  bit  a 
large  piece  out  of  his  teacup  instead  of  the  bread  and 
butter. 

Just  at  this  moment  Alice  felt  a  very  curious  sen- 
sation, which  puzzled  her  a  good  deal  until  she  made 
out  what  it  was :  she  was  beginning  to  grow  larger 
again,  and  she  thought  at  first  she  would  get  up  and 


growing 


u 


116        ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

leave  the  court ;  but  on  second  thoughts  she  decided  to 
remain  where  she  was  as  long  as  there  was  room  for 
her. 

"  I  wish  you  wouldn't  squeeze  so,"  said  the  Dor- 
mouse, who  was  sitting  next  to  her.  "  I  can  hardly 
breathe." 

"I  can't  help   it,"   said  Alice,   very  meekly:   "I'm 
ring." 

You've  no  right  to  grow  here,"  said  the  Dormouse. 
Don't    talk    nonsense,"    said    Alice    more    boldly: 
"  you  know  you're  growing,  too." 

"  Yes,  but  /  grow  at  a  reasonable  pace,"  said  the 
Dormouse :  "  not  in  that  ridiculous  fashion."  And 
he  sot  up  very  sulkily  and  crossed  over  to  the  other 
side  of  the  court. 

All  this  time  the  Queen  had  never  left  off  staring 
at  the  Hatter,  and,  just  as  the  Dormouse  crossed  the 
court,  she  said  to  one  of  the  officers  of  the  court, 
"  Bring  me  the  list  of  the  singers  in  the  last  concert !  ' 
on  which  the  wretched  Hatter  trembled  so,  that  he 
shook  both  his  shoes  off. 

"  Give  your  evidence,"  the  King  repeated  angrily, 
11  or  I'll  have  you  executed,  whether  vou're  nervous  or 
not." 

"  I'm  a  poor  man,  your  Majesty,"  the  Hatter  began 
in  a  trembling  voice,  "  and  I  hadn't  but  just  begun 
my  tea— not  above  a  week  or  so — and  what  with  the 
bread  and  butter  getting  so  thin — and  the  twinkling  of 

CO  O 

the  tea " 


"The  twinkling  of  the  wliat?  "  said  the  King. 
"  It  hcrjan  with  the  tea,"  the  Hatter  replied. 
"  Of  course  twinkling  begins  with  a   T !  "  said  the 
King  sharply.      "  Do  you  take  me  for  a  dunce  ?     Go 


on!" 


"  I'm  a  poor  man,"  the  Hatter  went  on,  "  and  most 


WHO  STOLE  THE  TARTS? 


117 


things  twinkled  after  that — only  the  March  Hare 
said " 

"  I  didn't!  "  the  March  Hare  interrupted,  in  a  great 
hurry. 

"  You  did !  "  said  the  Hatter. 

"  I  deny  it !  "  said  the  March  Hare. 

"  He  denies  it,"  said  the  King:  "leave  out  that 
part." 

"  Well,  at  any  rate,  the  Dormouse  said — "  the  Hatter 


went  on,  looking  anxiously  round  to  see  if  he  would 
deny  it  too :  but  the  Dormouse  denied  nothing,  being 
fast  asleep. 

"  After  that,"  continued  the  Hatter,  "  I  cut  some 
more  bread  and  butter " 

"  But  what  did  the  Dormouse  say  ?  "  one  of  the  jury 
asked. 

"  That  I  can't  remember,"  said  the  Hatter. 

"  You  must  remember,"  remarked  the  King,  "  or 
I'll  have  you  executed." 


113        ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

The  miserable  Hatter  dropped  his  teacup  and  bread 
and  butter,  and  went  down  on  one  knee.  "  I'm  a  poor 
man,  your  majesty,"  he  began. 

"  You're  a  very  poor  speaker/'  said  the  King. 

Here  one  of  the  guinea-pigs  cheered,  and  was  imme- 
diately suppressed  by  the  officers  of  the  court.  (As 
that  is  rather  a  hard  word,  I  will  just  explain  to  you 
how  it  was  done.  They  had  a  large  canvas  bag,  which 
tied  up  at  the  mouth  with  strings :  into  this  they  slipped 
the  guinea-pig,  head  first,  and  then  sat  upon  it.) 

"  I'm  glad  I've  seen  that  done,"  thought  Alice. 
"  I've  so  often  read  in  the  newspapers,  at  the  end  of 
trials,  '  There  was  some  attempt  at  applause,  which 
was  immediately  suppressed  by  the  officers  of  the 
court,'  and  I  never  understood  what  it  meant  till 
now." 

"  If  that's  all  vou  know  about  it,  you  may  stand 
down,"  continued  the  King. 

"I  can't  go  no  lower,"  said  the  Hatter:  "  I'm  on 
the  floor,  as  it  is." 

"  Then  you  may  sit  down,"  the  King  replied. 

Here  the  other  guinea-pig  cheered,  and  was  sup- 
pressed. 

"  Come,  that  finishes  the  guinea-pigs !  "  thought 
Alice.     "  Xow  we  shall  get  on  better." 

"  I'd  rather  finish  my  tea,"  said  the  Hatter,  with  an 
anxious  look  at  the  Queen,  who  was  reading  the  list 
of  singers. 

"  You  may  go,"  said  the  King,  and  the  Hatter  hur- 
riedly left  the  court,  without  even  waiting  to  put  his 
shoes  on. 

" and  just  take  his  head  off  outside,"  the  Queen 

added  to  one  of  the  officers ;  but  the  Hatter  was  out 
of  sight  before  the  officer  could  get  to  the  door. 

"  Call  the  next  witness !  "  said  the  King. 


WHO  STOLE  THE  TARTS? 


119 


The  next  witness  was  the  Duchess'  cook.  She  car- 
ried the  pepper-box  in  her  hand ;  and  Alice  guessed 
who  it  was,  even  before  she  got  into  the  court,  by  the 
way  the  people  near  the  door  began  sneezing  all  at 
once. 

"  Give  your  evidence,"  said  the  King. 

"  Shan't,"  said  the  cook. 

The  King  looked  anxiously  at  the  White  Rabbit, 
who  said  in  a  low  voice,  "  Your  Majesty  must  cross- 
examine  this  witness." 


a 


Well,  if  I  must,  I  must,"  the  King  said  with  a 
melancholy  air,  and,  after  folding  his  arms  and  frown- 
ing at  the  cook  till  his  eyes  were  nearly  out  of  sight, 
he  said  in  a  deep  voice,  "  What  are  tarts  made  of?" 

"  Pepper,  mostly,"  said  the  cook. 

"  Treacle,"  said  a  sleepy  voice  behind  her. 

"  Collar  that  Dormouse !  "  the  Queen  shrieked  out. 
"  Behead  that  Dormouse !  Turn  that  Dormouse  out 
of  court !  Suppress  him  !  Pinch  him  !  Off  with  his 
whiskers !  " 

For  some  minutes  the  whole  court  was  in  confusion, 
getting  the  Dormouse  turned  out,  and,  by  the  time  they 
had  settled  down  again,  the  cook  had  disappeared. 


120        ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

"  Never  mind !  "  said  the  King,  with  an  air  of  great 
relief.  "  Call  the  next  witness."  And  he  added  in  an 
undertone  to  the  Queen,  "  Keally,  my  dear,  you  must 
cross-examine  the  next  witness.  It  quite  makes  my 
forehead  ache !  " 

Alice  watched  the  White  Rabbit  as  he  fumbled  ever 
the  list,  feeling  very  curious  to  see  what  the  next  wit- 
ness would  be  like,  "  — for  they  haven't  got  much  evi- 
dence yet"  she  said  to  herself.  Imagine  her  surprise, 
when  the  White  Rabbit  read  out,  at  the  top  of  his  shrill 
little  voice,  the  name  "  Alice !  " 


CHAPTEK  XII. 


Alice's  evidence. 


"  Here  !  "  cried  Alice,  quite  forgetting  in  the  flurry 
of  the  moment  how  large  she  had  grown  in  the  last 
few  minutes,  and  she  jumped  up  in  such  a  hurry  that 
she  tipped  over  the  jury-box  with  the  edge  of  her  skirt, 
upsetting  all  the  jurymen  on  to  the  heads  of  the  crowd 
below,  and  there  they  lay  sprawling  about,  reminding 
her  very  much  of  a  globe  of  goldfish  she  had  accident- 
ally upset  the  week  before. 

"  Oh,  I  beg  your  pardon !  "  she  exclaimed  in  a  tone 
of  great  dismay,  and  began  picking  them  up  again  as 
quickly  as  she  could,  for  the  accident  of  the  goldfish 
kept  running  in  her  head,  and  she  had  a  vague  sort  of 
idea  that  they  must  be  collected  at  once  and  put  back 
into  the  jury-box,  or  they  would  die. 

"  The  trial  cannot  proceed,"  said  the  King,  in  a  very 
grave  voice,  "  until  all  the  jurymen  are  back  in  their 
proper  places — all"  he  repeated  with  great  emphasis, 
looking  hard  at  Alice  as  he  said  so. 

Alice  looked  at  the  jury-box,  and  saw  that,  in  her 
haste,  she  had  put  the  Lizard  in  head  downwards,  and 
the  poor  little  thing  was  waving  its  tail  about  in  a  mel- 
ancholy way,  being  quite  unable  to  move.  She  soon 
got  it  out  again,  and  put  it  right ;  "  not  that  it  signifies 
much,"  she  said  to  herself;  "  I  should  think  it  would 
be  quite  as  much  use  in  the  trial  one  way  up  as  the 
other." 

As  soon  as  the  jury  had  a  little  recovered  from  the 
shock  of  being  upset,  and  their  slates  and  pencils  had 
121 


122        ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 


been  found  and  handed  back  to  them,  they  set  to  work 
very  diligently  to  write  out  a  history  of  the  accident, 
all  except  the  Lizard,  who  seemed  too  much  overcome 
to  do  anything  but  sit  with  its  mouth  open,  gazing 
up  into  the  roof  of  the  court. 


"  What  do  you  know  about  this  business  ?  "  the  King 
said  to  Alice. 

"  Nothing,"  said  Alice. 

"Nothing  whatever?"  persisted  the  King. 

Nothing  whatever,"  said  Alice. 

That's  very  important,"  the  King  said,  turning  to 


ALICE'S  EVIDENCE.  123 

the  jury.  They  were  just  beginning  to  write  this  down 
on  their  slates,  when  the  White  Rabbit  interrupted : 
"  Cniinportant,  your  Majesty  means,  of  course,"  he 
said  in  a  very  respectful  tone,  but  frowning  and  making 
faces  at  him  as  he  spoke. 

"  E/mmportant,  of  course,  I  meant,"  the  King  has- 
tily said,  and  went  on  to  himself  in  an  undertone,  "  im- 
portant— unimportant — unimportant — important " 

as  if  he  were  trying  which  word  sounded  best. 

Some  of  the  jury  wrote  it  down  "  important,"  and 
some  "  unimportant."  Alice  could  see  this,  as  she 
was  near  enough  to  look  over  their  slates ;  "  but  it 
doesn't  matter  a  bit,"  she  thought  to  herself. 

At  this  moment  the  King,  who  had  been  for  some 
time  busily  writing  in  his  notebook,  called  out 
"  Silence !  "  and  read  out  from  his  book,  "  Rule  Forty- 
two.  All  persons  more  than  a  mile  high  to  leave  the 
court." 

Everybody  looked  at  Alice. 

"  I'm  not  a  mile  high,"  said  Alice. 

"  You  are,"  said  the  King. 

"  Nearly  two  miles  high,"  added  the  Queen. 

"  Well,  I  shan't  go,  at  any  rate,"  said  Alice ;  "  be- 
sides, that's  not  a  regular  rule:  you  invented  it  just 
now." 

"  It's  the  oldest  rule  in  the  book,"  said  the  King. 

"  Then  it  ought  to  be  Number  One,"  said  Alice. 

The  King  turned  pale,  and  shut  his  notebook  hastily. 
"  Consider  your  verdict,"  he  said  to  the  jury,  in  a  low, 
trembling  voice. 

"  There's  more  evidence  to  come  yet,  please  your 
Majesty,"  said  the  White  Rabbit,  jumping  up  in  a 
great  hurry ;  "  this  paper  has  just  been  picked  up." 

"WTiat's  in  it?"  said  the  Queen. 

"  I  haven't  opened  it  yet,"  said  the  White  Rabbit, 


124        ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

"  but  it  seems  to  be  a  letter,  written  by  the  prisoner  to 
— to  somebody." 

"  It  must  have  been  that,"  said  the  King,  "  unless 
it  was  written  to  nobody,  which  isn't  usual,  you  know." 

"  Who  is  it  directed  to  (  "  said  one  of  the  juryman. 

"It  isn't  directed  at  all,"  said  the  White  Rabbit; 
"  in  fact,  there's  nothing  written  on  the  outside."  He 
unfolded  the  paper  as  he  spoke,  and  added,  "  It  isn't 
a  letter  after  all :  it's  a  set  of  verses." 

"  Are  they  in  the  prisoner's  handwriting  ? ':  asked 
another  of  the  jurymen. 

"  Xo,  they're  not,"  said  the  White  Rabbit,  "and 
that's  the  queerest  thing  about  it."  (The  jury  all 
looked  puzzled.) 

"  He  must  have  imitated  somebody  else's  hand,"  said 
the  King.      (The  jury  all  brightened  up  again.) 

"  Please  your  majesty,"  said  the  Knave,  "  I  didn't 
write  it,  and  they  can't  prove  I  did :  there's  no  name 
signed  at  the  end." 

"  If  you  didn't  sign  it,"  said  the  King,  "  that  only 
makes  the  matter  worse.  You  must  have  meant  some 
mischief,  or  else  you'd  have  signed  your  name  like  an 
honest  man." 

There  was  a  general  clapping  of  hands  at  this:  it 
was  the  first  reallv  clever  thing  the  King  had  said  that 
day. 

"  That  proves  his  guilt,"  said  the  Queen. 

"  It  proves  nothing  of  the  sort !  "  said  Alice.  "  Why, 
vou  don't  even  know  what  they're  about !  " 

"  Read  them,"  said  the  King. 

The  White  Rabbit  put  on  his  spectacles.  "  Where 
shall  I  begin,  please  your  Majesty  I"  he  asked. 

"  Begin  at  the  beginning,"  the  King  said,  gravely, 
"  and  go  on  till  you  come  to  the  end :  then  stop." 

These  were  the  verses  the  White  Rabbit  read : — 


ALICE'S  EVIDENCE.  125 

"  They  told  me  you  had  teen  to  her, 
And  mentioned  me  to  him: 
She  gave  me  a  good  character,  ( 

But  said  I  could  not  swim. 

.  He  sent  them  word  I  had  not  gone 
(We  know  it  to  be  true)  : 
If  she  should  push  the  matter  on, 
What  would  become  of  you? 

I  gave  her  one,  they  gave  him  two, 

You  gave  us  three  or  more; 
They  all  returned  from  him  to  you, 

Though  they  were  mine  before. 

If  I  or  she  should  chance  to  be 

Involved  in  this  affair, 
He  trusts  to  you  to  set  them  free, 

Exactly  as  we  were. 

My  notion  was  that  you  had  been 

(Before  she  had  this  fit) 
An  obstacle  that  came  between 

Him,  and  ourselves,  and  it. 

Don't  let  him  knoiv  she  liked  them  best, 

For  this  must  ever  be 
A  secret,  kept  from  all  the  rest, 

Between  yourself  and  me." 

"  That's  the  most  important  piece  of  evidence  we've 
heard  yet,"  said  the  King,  rubbing  his  hands ;  "  so  now 
let  the  jury " 

"  If  any  one  of  them  can  explain  it,"  said  Alice, 
(she  had  grown  so  large  in  the  last  few  minutes  that 


12(5    ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

she  wasn't  a  bit  afraid  of  interrupting  him,)  "  I'll 
give  him  sixpence.  I  don't  believe  there's  an  atom  of 
meaning  in   it." 

The  jury  all  wrote  down  on  their  slates,  'f  She 
doesn't  believe  there's  an  atom  of  meaning  in  it,"  but 
none  of  them   attempted  to  explain  the  paper. 

"  If  there's  no  meaning  in  it,"  said  the  -King,  "  that 
saves  a  world  of  trouble,  vou  know,  as  we  needn't 
try  to  find  any.  And  yet  I  don't  know,"  he  went  on, 
spreading  out  the  verses  on  his  knee,  and  looking  at 
them  with  one  eye ;  "  I  seem  to  see  some  meaning  in 
them,  after  all.  ' — said  I  could  not  swim — '  you  can't 
swim,  can  you  ?  "  he  added,  turning  to  the  Knave. 

The  Knave  shook  his  head  sadly.  "  Do  I  look  like 
it?"  he  said.  (Which  he  certainly  did  not,  being 
made  entirely  of  cardboard." 

"  All  right,  so  far,"  said  the  King,  and  he  went 
on  muttering  over  the  verses  to  himself:  '  '  We  know 
it  to  he  true — '  that's  the  jury,  of  course — '  I  gave  her 
one,  they  gave  him  two — '  why,  that  must  be  what  he 
did  with  the  tarts,  you  know — " 

''But  it  goes  on  'they  all  returned  from  him  to 
you'  "  said  Alice. 

"Why,  there  they  arc!'  said  the  King,  trium- 
phantly, pointing  to  the  tarts  on  the  table.  "  Noth- 
ing can  be  clearer  than  that.  Then  again — '  before  she 
had  this  fit — '  you  never  had  fits,  my  dear,  I  think?  " 
he  said  to  the  Queen. 

"Never!"  said  the  Queen  furiously,  throwing  an 
inkstand  at  the  Lizard  as  she  spoke.  (The  unfortu- 
nate little  Bill  had  left  off  writing  on  his  slate  with  one 
finger,  as  he  found  it  made  no  mark;  but  he  now  hastily 
began  again,  using  the  ink,  that  was  trickling  down 
his  face,  as  long  as  it  lasted.) 

"  Then  the  words  don't  fit  you,"  said  the  King,  look- 


ALICE'S  EVIDENCE. 


127 


ing  round  the 
court  with  a  smile. 
There  was  a  dead 
silence. 

"  It's  a  pun!  " 
the  King  added  in 
an  angry  tone, 
a  n  d  everybody 
laughed.  "  Let 
the  jury  consider 
their  verdict, ' '  the 
King  said,  for 
about  the  twenti- 
eth time  that  day. 

"No, no!  "said 
the  Queen.    "Sen- 


tence first — verdict  afterward? . " 

"Stuff   and  nonsense!"   said  Alice  loudly.      "The 
idea  of  havinc;  the  sentence  first !  " 


-o 


"  Hold  your  tongue !  "  said  the  Queen,  turning  pur- 
ple. 

"  I  won't !  "  said  Alice. 

"  Off  with  her  head !  "  the  Queen  shouted  at  the  top 
of  her  voice.     Nobody  moved. 

"Who  cares  for  you?"  said  Alice  (she  had  growjn 


128        ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

to  her  full  size  by  this  time.)  "  You're  nothing  but  . 
pack  of  cards  !  "  *" 

At  this  the  whole  pack  rose  up  into  the  air,  and 
came  flying  down  upon  her;  she  gave  a  little  scream, 
half  of  fright  and  half  of  anger,  and  tried  to  beat  them 
off,  and  found  herself  lying  on  the  bank,  with  her  head 
in  the  lap  of  her  sister,  who  was  gently  brushing  away 
some  dead  leaves  that  had  fluttered  down  from  the 
trees  on  to   her  face. 

"Wake  up,  Alice,  dear!"  said  her  sister;  "  why, 
what  a  long  sleep  you've  had !  " 

"Oh,  I've  had  such  a  curious  dream!  "  said  Alice, 
and  she  told  her  sister,  as  well  as  she  could  remember 
them,  all  these  strange  Adventures  of  hers  that  you 
have  just  been  reading  about;  and  when  she  had  fin- 
ished, her  sister  kissed  her,  and  said,  "  It  was  a  curious 
dream,  dear,  certainly :  but  now  run  in  to  your  tea ; 
it's  getting  late."  So  Alice  got  up  and  ran  off,  thinking 
while  she  ran,  as  well  she  might,  what  a  wonderful 
dream  it  had  been. 


But  her  sister  sat  still  just  as  she  left  her,  leaning 
her  head  on  her  hand,  watching  the  setting  sun,  and 
thinking  of  little  Alice  and  all  her  wonderful  Adven- 
tures, till  she  too  began  dreaming,  after  a  fashion, 
and  this  was  her  dream  : — ■ 

First,  she  dreamed  of  little  Alice  herself: — once 
again  the  tiny  hands  were  clasped  upon  her  knee,  and 
the  bright,  eager  eyes  were  looking  into  hers — she  could 
hear  the  very  tones  of  her  voice,  and  see  that  queer 
little  toss  of  her  head,  to  keep  back  the  wandering  hair 
that  would  always  get  into  her  eyes — and  still  as  she 
listened,  or  seemed  to  listen,  the  whole  place  around 


ALICE'S  EVIDENCE. 


129 


her  became  alive  with  the  strange  creatures  of  her  little 
sister's  dream. 

The   long  grass   rustled    at   her   feet   as   the   White 
Rabbit  hurried  by — the  frightened  Mouse  splashed  his 


way  through  the  neighboring  pool — she  could  hear  the 
rattle  of  the  teacups  as  the  March  Hare  and  his  friends 
shared  their  never-ending  meal,  and  the  shrill  voice  of 
the  Queen  ordering  off  her  unfortunate  guests  to  execu- 


130        ALICE'S  ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 

tion — once  more  the  pig-baby  was  sneezing  on  the 
Duchess'  knee,  while  plates  and  dishes  crashed  around 
it — once  more  the  shriek  of  the  Gryphon,  the  squeak- 
ing of  the  Lizard's  slate  pencil,  and  the  choking  of  the 
suppressed  guinea-pigs,  filled  the  air,  mixed  up  with 
the  distant  sob  of  the  miserable  Mock  Turtle. 

So  she  sat  on,  with  closed  eyes,  and  half  believed 
herself  in  Wonderland,  though  she  knew  she  had  but 
to  open  them  again  and  all  would  change  to  dull  reality 
— the  grass  would  be  only  rustling  in  the  wind,  and  the 
pool  rippling  to  the  waving  of  the  reeds — the  rattling 
teacups  would  change  to  tinkling  sheep-bells,  and  the 
Queen's  shrill  cries  to  the  voice  of  the  shepherd  boy 
— and  the  sneeze  of  the  baby,  the  shriek  of  the  Gry- 
phon, and  all  the  other  queer  noises,  would  change 
(she  knew)  to  the  confused  clamor  of  the  busy  farm- 
yard— while  the  lowing  of  the  cattle  in  the  distance 
would  take  the  place  of  the  Mock  Turtle's  heavy  sobs. 

Lastly,  she  pictured  to  herself  how  this  same  little 
sister  of  hers  would,  in  the  after  time,  be  herself  a 
grown  woman;  and  how  she  would  keep,  through  all 
her  riper  years,  the  simple  and  loving  heart  of  her 
childhood :  and  how  she  would  gather  about  her  other 
little  children,  and  make  their  eyes  bright  and  eager 
with  many  a  strange  tale,  perhaps  even  with  the  dream 
of  Wonderland  of  long  ago :  and  how  she  would  feel 
with  all  their  simple  sorrows,  and  find  a  pleasure  in 
all  their  simple  joys,  remembering  her  own  child  life, 
and  the  happy  summer  days. 

THE   END. 


DRAMATIS  PERSONS. 


(As  arranged  before  commencement  of  game.) 


White, 
pieces.  PAWNS. 

Tweedledee Daisy. 

Unicorn Haigha. 

Sheep Oyster. 

W.  Queen "Lily." 

W.  King Fawn. 

Aged  man Oyster. 

W.  Knight Hatta. 

Tweedledum Daisy. 


Red. 


pawns. 


PIECES. 


Daisy Humpty  Dumpty. 

Messenger..  Carpenter. 

Oyster Walrus. 

Tiger-lily . . . .  R.  Queen. 

Rose R.  King. 

Oyster Crow. 

Frog .R.  Knight. 

Daisy Lion. 


RED. 
BUt  HI:  ^  1 

■    ■  **  m 
«    ill    «§ 

RS»    Hi    I 

ssj    §11     111  $\  111 

^^NN  v  ^iii!  W,®  iiiif 

;<       ™J       III 


WHITE. 


White  Pawn  {Alice)  to  play,  and  win  in  eleven  moves 


PAGE 

1.  Alice  meets  R.  Q 40 

2.  Alice  through  Q.'s  3d  (by  rail- 

way)      50 

to  Q.'s  4th  (Tweedledum  and 
Tweedledee) 55 

3.  Alice  meets  W.Q.  (with  shawl).    84 

4.  Alice  to  Q.'s  5th  (shop,  river, 

shop) 92 

5.  Alice    to    Q.'s    6th    (Humpty 

Dumpty) 101 

6.  Alice  to  Q.'s  7th  (forest) 135 

7.  W.  Kt.  takes  R.  Kt 140 

8.  Alice  to  Q.'s  8th  (coronation).  158 

9.  Alice  becomes  Queen 167 

10.  Alice's  castles  (feast) 174 

11.  Alice  takes  R.  Q.  and  wins....  183 


PAGE 

1.  R.  Q.  to  K.  R.'s  4th 48 

2.  W.   Q,  to  Q.   B.'s  4th    (after 

shaivl), 84 

3.  W.  Q.  to  Q.  B.'s  5th  (becomes 

sheep) 91 

4.  W.   Q.  to  K.   B.'s   8th  (leaves 

egg  on  shelf) 100 

5.  W.  Q.  to  Q.   B.'s  8th   (flying 

from  R.  Kt.) 180 

6.  R  Kt.  toK.'s2d  (ch.) 138 

7.  W.  Kt.  toK.  B.'s  5th 167 

8.  R.  Q.  to  K.'s  sq.  (examination)  160 

9.  Queenscastle 170 

10.  W.  Q.  to  Q.  R.  6th  (soup) 118 


Child  of  the  pure  unclouded  brow 
And   dreaming  eyes  of  wonder! 

Though  time  he  fleet,  and  I  and  thou 
Are  half  a  life  asunder, 

Thy  loving  smile  will  surely  hail 

The  love-gift  of  a  fairy-tale. 


I  have  not  seen  thy  sunny  face, 
ISTor  heard  thy  silver  laughter; 

ISTo  thought  of  me  shall  find  a  place 
In  thy  young  life's  hereafter- 


Enough  that  now  thou  wilt  not  fail 
To  listen  to  my  fairv-tale. 


A  tale  begun  in  other  days, 

When  summer  suns  were  glowing — 
A  simple  chime,   that  served  to  time 

The  rhythm  of  our  rowing 


Whose  echoes  live  in  memory  yet, 

Though  envious  years  would  say   "  forget." 


Come,  hearken  then,  ere  voice  of  dread, 

With   bitter   tidings    laden, 
Shall  summon  to  unwelcome  bed 

A  melancholy  maiden ! 
We  are  but  older  children,  dear, 
Who  fret  to  find  our  bedtime  near. 

135 


Without,   the  frost,  the  blinding  snow, 
The  storm-wind's  moody  madness 

Within,  the  firelight's  ruddy  glow 
And  childhood's  nest  of  gladness. 

The  magic  words  shall  hold  thee  fast: 

Thou  shalt  not  heed  the  raving  blast. 


And  though  the  shadow  of  a  sigh 
May    tremble    through    the    story, 

For  "  happy  summer  days  "  gone  by, 
And  vanish'd  summer  glory 


It  shall  not  touch  with  breath  of  bal 
The  pleasance  of  our  fairy-tale. 


136 


CHAPTER  I. 


LOOKING-GLASS    HOUSE. 

One   thing  was  certain,   that  the   white  kitten  had 

had  nothing  to  do  with  it : it  was  the  black  kitten's 

fault  entirely.  For  the  white  kitten  had  been  having 
its  face  washed  by  the  old  cat  for  the  last  quarter  of 
an  hour  (and  bearing  it  pretty  well,  considering)  ;  so 
you  see  that  it  couldn't  have  had  any  hand  in  the  mis- 
chief. 

The  way  Dinah  washed  her  children's  faces  was  this : 
first  she  held  the  poor  thing  down  by  its  ear  with  one 
paw,  and  then  with  the  other  paw  she  rubbed  its  face 
all  over,  the  wrong  way,  beginning  at  the  nose :  and 
just  now,  as  I  said,  she  was  hard  at  work  on  the  white 
kitten,  which  was  lying  quite  still  and  trying  to  purr 
no  doubt  feeling  that  it  was  all  meant  for  its  good. 

But  the  black  kitten  had  been  finished  with  earlier 
in  the  afternoon,  and  so,  while  Alice  was  sitting  curled 
up  in  a  corner  of  the  great  arm-chair,  half  talking  to 

.     137 


138  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

herself  and  half  asleep,  the  kitten  had  been  having  a 
grand  game  of  romps  with  the  ball  of  worsted  Alice 
had  been  trying  to  wind  up,  and  had  been  rolling  it 
up  and  down  till  it  had  all  come  undone  again  ;  and 
there  it  was,  spread  over  the  hearth-rug,  all  knots  and 
tangles,  with  the  kitten  running  after  its  own  tail  in 
the  middle. 

"  Oh,  you  wicked,  wicked  little  thing !  "  cried  Alice, 
catching  up  the  kitten  and  giving  it  a  little  kiss  to 
make  it  understand  that  it  was  in  disgrace.  "  Really, 
Dinah  ought  to  have  taught  you  better  manners !  You 
ought,  Dinah,  you  know  you  ought!  "  she  added,  look- 
ing reproachfully  at  the  old  cat,  and  speaking  in  as  cross 
a  voice  as  she  could  manage and  then  she  scram- 
bled back  into  the  armchair,  taking  the  kitten  and  the 
worsted  with  her,  and  began  winding  up  the  ball  again. 
But  she  didn't  get  on  very  fast,  as  she  was  talking  all 
the  time,  sometimes  to  the  kitten,  and  sometimes  to  her- 
self. Kitty  sat  very  demurely  on  her  knee,  pretending 
to  watch  the  progress  of  the  winding,  and  now  and  then 
putting  out  one  paw  and  gently  touching  the  ball,  as 
if  it  would  be  glad  to  help  if  it  might. 

"  Do  you  know  what  to-morrow  is,  Kitty  ? ':'  Alice 
began.     "  You'd  have  guessed  if  you'd  been  up  in  the 

window  with  me only  Dinah  was  making  you  tidy, 

so  you  couldn't.     I  was  watching  the  boys  getting  in 

sticks  for  the  bonfire and  it  wants  plenty  of  sticks, 

Kitty !  Only  it  got  so  cold,  and  it  snowed  so,  they 
had  to  leave  off.  !N"ever  mind,  Kitty,  we'll  go  and 
see  the  bonfire  to-morrow."  Here  Alice  wound  two  or 
three  turns  of  the  worsted  round  the  kitten's  neck, 
just  to  see  how  it  would  look :  this  led  to  a  scramble,  in 
which  the  ball  rolled  down  upon  the  floor,  and  yards 
and  yards  of  it  got  unwound  again. 

"  Do  you  know,  I  was  so  angry,  Kitty,"  Alice  went  onr 


LOOKING-GLASS  HOUSE. 


139 


as  soon  as  they  were  comfortably  settled  again,  "  when 
I  saw  all  the  mischief  you  had  been  doing,  I  was  very 
nearly  opening  the  window,  and  putting  you  out  into  the 
snow !  And  you'd  have  deserved  it,  you  little  mis- 
chievous darling!  What  have  you  got  to  say  for  your- 
self \    jSTow  don't  interrupt  me !  "  she  went  on,  holding 


up  one  finger.  "  I'm  going  to  tell  you  all  your  faults. 
Number  one:  you  squeaked  twice  while  Dinah  was 
washing  your  face  this  morning.  Now  you  can't  deny 
it,  Kitty:  I  heard  you!  What's  that  you  say?"  (pre- 
tending that  the   kitten   was   speaking).     "  Her   paw 


140  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

Went  into  your  eye  ?  Well,  that's  your  fault,  for  keep- 
ing your  eyes  open if  you'd  shut  them  tight  up,  it 

wouldn't  have  happened.  Now,  don't  make  any  more 
excuses,  but  listen!  Number  two:  you  pulled  Snow- 
drop away  Iry  the  tail  just  as  I  had  put  down  the  saucer 
of  milk  before  her !  What,  you  were  thirsty,  were 
you  ?  How  do  you  know  she  wasn't  thirsty,  too  '(  Now 
for  number  three :  you  unwound  every  bit  of  the  wor- 
sted while  I  wasn't  looking! 

"  That's  three  faults,  Kitty,  and  you've  not  been 
punished  for  any  of  them  yet.  You  know  I'm  saving 
up  all  your  punishments  for  Wednesday  week Sup- 
pose they  had  saved  up  all  my  punishments !  '  she 
went  on,  talking  more  to  herself  than  the  kitten. 
"  What  would  they  do  at  the  end  of  a  year  ?    I  should  be 

sent  to  prison,  I  suppose,  when  the  day  came.     Or 

let  me  see suppose  each  punishment  was  to  be  going 

without  a  dinner:  then,  when  the  miserable  day  came, 
I  should  have  to  go  without  fifty  dinners  at  once! 
Well,  I  shouldn't  mind  that  much!  I'd  far  rather  go 
without  them  than  eat  them ! 

"  Do  you  hear  the  snow  against  the  window-panes, 
Kitty  ?  How  nice  and  soft  it  sounds !  Just  as  if  some 
one  was  kissing  the  window  all  over  outside.  I  wonder 
if  the  snow  loves  the  trees  and  fields,  that  it  kisses  them 
so  gently  ?  And  then  it  covers  them  up  snug,  you 
know,  with  a  white  quilt ;  and  perhaps  it  says,  '  Go 
to  sleep,  darlings,  till  the  summer  conies  again.'  And 
when  they  wake  up  in  the  summer,   Kitty,  they  dress 

themselves  all  in  green,  and  dance  about whenever 

the  wind  blows oh,  that's  very  pretty !  "  cried  Alice, 

dropping  the  ball  of  worsted  to  clap  her  hands.  "  And 
I  do  so  wish  it  was  true !  I'm  sure  the  woods  look 
sleepy  in  the  autumn,  when  the  leaves  are  getting 
brown. 


LOOKING-GLASS  HOUSE.  141 

"  Kitty,  can  you  play  chess  ?  Now,  don't  smile,  ray 
dear,  I'm  asking  it  seriously.  Because,  when  we  were 
playing  just  now,  you  watched  just  as  if  you  under- 
stood it :  and  when  I  said  c  Check !  '  you  purred  !  Well, 
it  was  a  nice  check,  Kitty,  and  really  I  might  have  won, 
if  it  hadn't  been  for  that  nasty  Knight,  that  came  wrig- 
gling down  among  my  pieces.  Kitty,  dear,  let's  pre- 
tend  -"     And  here  I  wish  I  could  tell  you  half  the 

things  Alice  used  to  say,  beginning  with  her  favorite 
phrase,  "  Let's  pretend."  She  had  had  quite  a  long 
argument  with  her  sister  only  the  day  before all  be- 
cause Alice  had  begun  with  "  Let's  pretend  we're  kings 
and  queens ;  "  and  her  sister,  who  liked  being  very 
exact,  had  argued  that  they  couldn't,  because  there  were 
only  two  of  them,  and  Alice  had  been  reduced  at  last  to 
say,  "  Well,  you  can  be  one  of  them,  then,  and  Til  be 
all  the  rest."  And  once  she  had  really  frightened  her 
old  nurse  by  shouting  suddenly  in  her  ear,  "  Nurse ! 
Do  let's  pretend  that  I'm  a  hungry  hyama,  and  you're 
a  bone !  " 

But  this  is  taking  us  away  from  Alice's  speech  to 
the  kitten.  "  Let's  pretend  that  you're  the  Keel  Queen, 
Kitty !  Do  you  know,  I  think  if  you  sat  up  and  folded 
your  arms,  you'd  look  exactly  like  her.  Now  do  try, 
there's  a  dear !  ':  And  Alice  got  the  Red  Queen  off 
the  table,  and  set  it  up  before  the  kitten  as  a  model 
for  it  to  imitate:  however,  the  thing  didn't  succeed, 
principally,  Alice  said,  because  the  kitten  wouldn't 
fold  its  arms  properly.  So,  to  punish  it,  she  held  it  up 
to  the   Looking-glass,   that   it  might   see  how  sulky   it 

was "  and  if  you're  not  good  directly,"  she  added, 

"  I'll  put  you  through  into  Looking-glass  House.  How 
would  you  like  that? 

"  Now,  if  you'll  only  attend,  Kitty,  and  not  talk 
so  much,  I'll  tell  you  all  my  ideas  about  Looking-glass 


142  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

House.      First,   there's  the  room  you  can   see  through 

the  glass that's  just  the  same  as  our  drawing-room, 

only  the  things  go  the  other  way.     I  can  see  all  of  it 

when  I  get  upon  a  chair— all  but  the  bit  just  behind 

the  fireplace.  Oh!  I  do  wish  I  could  see  that  bit!  I 
want  so  much  to  know  whether  they've  a  fire  in  the  win- 
ter:   you   never    can   tell,    you    know,    unless    our    fire 

smokes,  and  then  smoke  comes  up  in  that  room  too 

but  that  may  be  only  pretence,  just  to  make  it  look  as 
if  they  had  a  fire.  Well  then,  the  books  are  some- 
thing like  our  books,  only  the  words  go  the  wrong  way ; 
I  know  that,  because  I've  held  up  one  of  our  books  to 
the  glass,  and  then  they  hold  up  one  in  the  other  room. 

"  How  would  you  like  to  live  in  Looking-glass 
House,  Kitty  ?  I  wonder  if  thev'd  give  vou  milk  in 
there  ?     Perhaps  Looking-glass  milk  isn't  good  to  drink 

But  oh,  Kitty !  now  we  come  to  the  passage.     You 

can  just  see  a  little  peep  of  the  passage  in  Looking- 
glass  House,  if  you  leave  the  door  of  our  drawing-room 
wide  open  :  and  it's  very  like  our  passage  as  far  as  you 
can  see,  only  you  know  it  may  be  quite  different  on 
beyond.  Oh,  Kitty!  how  nice  it  would  be  if  we  could 
only  get  through  into  Looking-glass  House !  I'm  sure 
it's  got,  oh  !  such  beautiful  things  in  it !  Let's  pretend 
there's  a  way  of  getting  through  into  it,  somehow, 
Kitty.  Let's  pretend  the  glass  has  got  all  soft  like 
gauze,  so  that  we  can  get  through.  Why,  it's  turning 
into  mist  now,  I  declare !     It'll  be  easy  enough  to  get 

through "  She  was  up  on  the  chimney-piece  while 

she  said  this,  though  she  hardlv  knew  how  she  had  got 
there.  And  certainly  the  glass  urns  beginning  to  melt 
away,  just  like  a  bright  silvery  mist. 

In  another  moment  Alice  was  through  the  glass,  and 
had  jumped  lightly  down  into  the  Looking-glass  room. 
The  very  first  thing  she  did  was  to  look  whether  there 


LOOKING-GLASS  HOUSE. 


i  <  ■ 


was  a  fire  in  the  fireplace,  and  she  was  quite  pleased 
to  find  that  there  was  a  real  one,  blazing  away  as 
brightly  as  the  one  she  had  left  behind.  "  So  I  shall  be 
as  warm  here  as  I  was  in  the  old  room,"  thought  Alice : 
"  warmer,  in  fact,  because  there'll  be  no  one  here  to 


scold  me  away  from  the  fire.  Oh,  what  fun  it'll  be, 
when  they  see  me  through  the  glass  in  here,  and  can't 
get  at  me !  " 

Then  she  began  looking  about,  and  noticed  that  what 
could  be  seen  from  the  old  room  was  quite  common 


1U 


THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 


and  uninteresting,  but  that  all  the  rest  was  as  different 
as  possible.  For  instance,  the  pictures  on  the  Avail  next 
the  fire  seemed  to  be  all  alive,  and  the  very  clock  on  the 
chimney-piece  (you  know  you  can  only  see  the  back 
of  it  in  the  Looking-glass)  had  got  the  face  of  a  little 
old  man,  and  grinned  at  her. 


"  They  don't  keep  this  room  so  tidy  as  the  other," 
Alice  thought  to  herself,' as  she  noticed  several  of  the 
chessmen  down  in  the  hearth  among  the  cinders:  but 
in  another  moment,  with  a  little."  Oh !_/'  of  surprise, 


LOOKING-GLASS  HOUSE. 


145 


she  went  down  on  her  hands  and  knees  watching  them. 
The  chessmen  were  walking  about,  two  and  two ! 

"  Here  are  the  Red  King  and  the  Red  Queen/'  Alice 
said  (in  a  whisper,  for  fear  of  frightening  them), 
"  and  there  are  the  White  King  and  the  White  Queen 
sitting  on  the  edge  of  the  shovel- 
Castles  walking  arm  in  arm— 


—and  here  are  two 
-I  don't  think  they  can 


hear  me,"  she  went  on,  as  she  put  her  head  closer 
down,  "  and  I'm  nearly  sure  they  can't  see  me.  I  feel 
somehow  as  if  I  were  invisible— 


?> 


Here  something  began  squeaking  on  the  table  be- 
hind Alice,  and  made  her  turn  her  head  just  in  time  to 
see  one  of  the  White  Pawns  roll  over  and  begin  kick- 
ing: she  watched  it  with  great  curiosity  to  see  what 
would  happen  next. 

"  It  is  the  voice  of  my  child !  "  the  White  Queen 
cried  out,  as  she  rushed  past  the  King,  so  violently  that 
she  knocked  him  over  among  the  cinders.  "  ]\[y  pre- 
cious Lily !  My  imperial  kitten !  "  and  she  began 
scrambling  wildly  up  the  side  of  the  fender. 

"  Imperial  fiddlestick !  "  said  the  King,  rubbing  his 
10 


s 


146  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

nose,  which  had  been  hurt  by  the  fall.  He  had  a  right 
to  be  a  little  annoyed  with  the  Queen,  for  he  was  cov- 
ered with  ashes  from  head  to  foot. 

Alice  was  very  anxious  to  be  of  use,  and,  as  the  poor 
little  Lily  was  .nearly  screaming  herself  into  a  fit,  she 
hastily  picked  up  the  Queen  and  set  her  on  the  table 
bv  the  side  of  her  noisy  little  daughter. 

The  Queen  gasped,  and  sat  down :  the  rapid  journey 
through  the  air  had  quite  taken  away  her  breath,  and 
for  a  minute  or  two  she  could  do  nothing  but  hug  the 
little  Lily  in  silence.  As  soon  as  she  had  recovered 
her  breath  a  little,  she  called  out  to  the  White  King, 
who  was  sitting  sulkily  among  the  ashes,  "  Mind  the 
volcano !  " 

"What  volcano?'1  said  the  King,  looking  up  anx- 
iously into  the  fire,  as  if  he  thought  that  was  the  most 
likely  place  to  find  one. 

"  Blew me up,"  panted  the  Queen,  who  was 

still  a  little  out  of  breath.     "  Mind  you  come  up the 

regular  way don't  get  blown  up !  " 

Alice  watched  the  White  King  as  he  slowly  strug- 
gled up  from  bar  to  bar,  till  at  last  she  said,  "  Why, 
you'll  be  hours  and  hours  getting  to  the  table,  at  that 
rate.  I'd  far  better  help  you,  hadn't  I  ? '  But  the 
King  took  no  notice  of  the  question :  it  was  quite  clear 
that  he  could  neither  hear  her  nor  see  her. 

So  Alice  picked  him  up  very  gently,  and  lifted  him 
across  more  slowly  than  she  had  lifted  the  Queen,  that 
she  mightn't  take  his  breath  away :  but,  before  she  put 
him  on  the  table,  she  thought  she  might  as  well  dust 
him  a  little,  he  was  so  covered  with  ashes. 

She  said  afterward  that  she  had  never  seen  in  all  her 
life  such  a  face  as  the  King  made,  when  he  found  him- 
self held  in  the  air  by  an  invisible  hand,  and  being 
dusted :  he  was  far  too  much  astonished  to  cry  out,  but 


LOOKING-GLASS  HOUSE. 


147 


his  eyes  and  his  mouth  went  on  getting  larger  and 
larger,  and  rounder  and  rounder,  till  her  hand  shook 
so  with  laughing  that  she  nearly  let  him  drop  upon  the 
floor, 

"  Oh !  please  don't  make  such  faces,  my  dear !  "  she 
cried  out,  quite  forgetting  that  the  King  couldn't  hear 
her,  "  You  make  me  laugh  so  that  I  can  hardly  hold 
you !  And  don't  keep  your  mouth  so  wide  open !  All 
th^i  ashes  will  get  into  it there,  now  I  think  you're 


tidy  enough !  "  she  added,  as  she  smoothed  his  hair,  and 
set  him  upon  the  table  near  the  Queen. 

The  King  immediately  fell  flat  on  his  back,  and  lay 
perfectly  still :  and  Alice  was  a  little  alarmed  at  what 
she  had  done,  and  went  round  the  room  to  see  if  she 
could  find  any  water  to  throw  over  him.  However,  she 
could  find  nothing  but  a  bottle  of  ink,  and  when  she 
got  back  with  it  she  found  he  had  recovered,  and  he 
and  the  Queen  were  talking  together  in  a  frightened 

whisper so  low,  that  Alice  could  hardly  hear  what 

they  said. 


148 


THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 


The  King  was  saying,  "  I  assure  you,  my  dear,  I 
turned  cold  to  the  very  ends  of  my  whiskers !  " 

To  which  the  Queen  replied,  "  You  haven't  got  any 
whiskers." 

"  The  horror  of  that  moment,"  the  King  went  on, 
"  I  shall  never,  never  forget !  " 

"  You  will,  though,"  the  Queen  said,  "  if  you  don't 
make  a  memorandum  of  it." 

Alice  looked  on  with  great  interest  as  the  King  took 
an  enormous  memorandum-book  out  of  his  pocket,  and 
began  writing.  A  sudden  thought  struck  her,  and  she 
took  hold  of  the  end  of  the  pencil,  which  came  some 
way  over  his  shoulder,  and  began  writing  for  him. 

The  poor  King  looked  puzzled  and  unhappy,  and 
struggled  with  the  pencil  for  some  time  without  saying 
anything;  but  Alice  was  too  strong  for  him,  and  at 
last  he  panted  out,  "  My  dear !  I  really  must  get  a  thin- 
ner pencil.      I  can't  manage  this  one  a  bit ;   it  writes 

all  manner  of  things  that  I  don't  intend " 

"  What  manner  of  things  ?  "  said  the  Queen,  looking 
over  the  book  (in  which  Alice  had  put:  "The  White 

Knight  is  sliding  down 
J  ^n  the    poker.      He     bal- 

ances very  badly  "). 
tk  That's  not  a  mem- 
orandum of  your  feel- 
ings !  ' ' 

There  was  a  book 
lying  near  Alice  on 
the  table,  and  while 
she  sat  watching  the 
White  King  (for  she 
was  still  a  little  anx- 
ious about  him,  and  had  the  ink  all  ready  to   throw 


LOOKING-GLASS  HOUSE.  149 

over  him,  in  case  he  fainted  again),  she  turned  over  the 

leaves,  to  find  some  part  that  she  could  read ,  ' ' for 

it's  all  in  some  language  I  don't  know,"  she  said  to 
herself. 

It  was  like  this: 

x^omfcas.k\ 

\^ms  $&1  jw  aWwV^  Xys\j>  vt^  foiCL 
,wvo^oto6  wfo  ytaw  ^im  Xik 

She  puzzled  over  this  for  some  time,  but  at  last  a 
bright  thought  struck  her.  "  Why,  it's  a  Looking-glass 
book,  of  course !  And  if  I  hold  it  up  to  a  glass,  the 
words  will  all  go  the  right  way  again." 

This  was  the  poem  that  Alice  read : 

JABBERWOCKY. 

'Turns  brillig,  and  the  slithy  toves 
Did  gyre  and  gimble  in  the  ivabe; 

All  mimsy  were  the  borogoves, 
And  the  mome  raths  outgrabe. 

"  Beware  the  Jabberwock,  my  son ! 

The  jaivs  that  bite,  the  claws  that  catch! 
Beware  the  Jubjub  bird,  and  shun 

The  frumious  Bandersnatch  !  " 

He  took  his  v  or  pal  sword  in  hand: 

Long  time  the  manxome  foe  he  sought 

So  rested  he  by  the  Tumtum  tree, 
And  stood  awhile  in  thought. 


150  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

And  as  in  uffish  thought  he  stood, 
The  Jabberwock,  with  eyes  of  flame, 

Came  whiffling  through  the  tulgey  wood, 
And  burbled  as  it  came! 

One,  two!    One,  two!   And  through  and  through 
The  vorpal  blade   went  snicker-snack! 

He  left  it  dead,  and  with  its  head 
He  went  galumphing  back. 

"  And  hast  thou  slain  the  Jabberwock? 

Come  to  my  arms,  my  beamish  boy! 
0  frabjous  day!    Callooh!     C allay!" 
He  chortled  in  liis  joy. 

'Twos  brillig,  and  the  slithy  toves 
Did  gyre  and  gimble  in  the  wabe ; 

All  mimsy  were  the  borogoves, 
And  the  mome  raths  outgralje. 

"  It  seems  very  pretty,"  she  said  when  she  had 
finished  it.  ''but  it's  rather  hard  to  understand!" 
(You  see  she  didn't  like  to  confess,  even  to  herself, 
that  she  couldn't  make  it  out  at  all.)      "  Somehow  it 

seems  to  fill  my  head  with  ideas only  I  don't  exactly 

know    what    they    are !       However,    somebody    killed 
something :  that's  clear,  at  any  rate- — — " 

"  But  oh !  "  thought  Alice,  suddenly  jumping  up, 
"  if  I  don't  make  haste  I  shall  have  to  go  back  through 
the  Looking-glass,  before  I've  seen  what  the  rest  of  the 
house  is  like !  Let's  have  a  look  at  the  garden  first !  ' 
She  was  out  of  the  room  in  a  moment,  and  ran  down- 
stairs  or,  at  least,  it  wasn't  exactly  running,  but  a 

new    invention    for    getting    downstairs    quickly    and 
easily,   as  Alice  said  to  herself.      She  just  kept  the 


LOOKING-GLASS  HOUSE. 


151 


152 


THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 


tips  of  her  fingers  on  the  hand-rail,  and  floated  gently 
clown  without  even  touching  the  stairs  with  her  feet ; 
then  she  floated  on  through  the  hall,  and  would  have 
gone  straight  out  at  the  door  in  the  same  way,  if  she 
hadn't  caught  hold  of  the  door-post.  She  was  getting 
a  little  giddy  with  so  much  floating  in  the  air,  and 
was  rather  glad  to  find  herself  walking  again  in  the 
natural  way. 


CHAPTEE  II. 

THE   GARDEN   OF   LIVE   FLOWERS. 

"  I  should  see  the  garden  far  better,"  said  Alice  to 
herself,   "if  I  could  get  to  the  top  of  that  hill:  and 

here's  a  path  that  leads  straight  to  it at  least,  no,  it 

doesn't  do  that "  (after  going  a  few  yards  along  the 

path,  and  turning  several  sharp  corners),  "but  I  sup- 
pose it  will  at  last.  But  how  curiously  it  twists !  It's 
more  like  a  corkscrew  than  a  path !     Well,   this  turn 

goes  to  the  hill,  I  suppose no,  it  doesn't !     This  goes 

straight  back  to  the  house !  Well  then,  I'll  try  it  the 
other  way." 

And  so  she  did :  wandering  up  and  down,  and  trying 
turn  after  turn,  but  always  coming  back  to  the  house, 
do  what  she  would.  Indeed,  once,  when  she  turned  a 
corner  rather  more  quickly  than  usual,  she  ran  against 
it  before  she  could  stop  herself. 

"  It's  no  use  talking  about  it,"  Alice  said,  looking 
up  at  the  house  and  pretending  it  was  arguing  with 
her.     "  I'm  not  going  in  again  yet.     I  know  I  should 

have   to   get   through   the   looking-glass    again back 

into  the  old  room and  there'd  be  an  end  of  all  my 

adventures !  " 

So,  resolutely  turning  her  back  upon  the  house,  she 
set  out  once  more  down  the  path,  determined  to  keep 
straight  on  till  she  got  to  the  hill.  For  a  few  minutes 
all  went  on  well,  and  she  was  just  saying,  "  I  really 

shall  do  it  this  time "  when  the  path  gave  a  sudden 

twist  and  shook  itself  (as  she  described  it  afterward), 
and  the  next  moment  she  found  herself  actually  walk- 
ing in  at  the  door. 

153 


154  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

"  Oh,  it's  too  bad !  "  she  cried.  "  I  never  saw  such 
a  house  for  getting  in  the  way  !     Never !  " 

However,  there  was  the  hill  full  in  sight,  so  there 
was  nothing  to  be  done  but  start  again.  This  time  she 
came  upon  a  large  flower  bed,  with  a  border  of  daisies, 
and  a  willow-tree  growing  in  the  middle. 

"  O  Tiger-lily,"  said  Alice,  addressing  herself  to  one 
that  was  waving  gracefully  about  in  the  wind.  "  I  ivish 
you  could  talk  !  " 

"  We  can  talk,"  said  the  Tiger-lily :  "  when  there's 
anybody  worth  talking  to." 

Alice  was  so  astonished  that  she  couldn't  speak  for 
a  minute :  it  quite  seemed  to  take  her  breath  away.  At 
length,  as  the  Tiger-lily  only  went  on  waving  about, 
she  spoke  again,  in  a  timid  voice almost  in  a  whis- 
per.    "  And  can  all  the  flowers  talk  ?  " 

"  As  well  as  you  can,"  said  the  Tiger-lily.  "  And 
a  great  deal  louder." 

"  It  isn't  manners  for  us  to  begin,  you  know,"  said 
the  Rose,  "  and  I  really  was  wondering  when  you'd 
speak !  Said  I  to  myself,  '  Her  face  has  got  some  sense 
in  it,  though  it's  not  a  clever  one !  '  Still,  you're  the 
right  color,  and  that  goes  a  Ions;  way." 

"  I  don't  care  about  the  color,"  the  Tiger-lily  re- 
marked. "  If  only  her  petals  curled  up  a  little  more, 
she'd  be  all  right." 

Alice  didn't  like  being  criticised,  so  she  began  ask- 
ing questions.  "  Aren't  you  sometimes  frightened  at 
being  planted  out  here,  with  nobody  to  take  care  of 
you  ?  " 

"There's  the  tree  in  the  middle,"  said  the  Rose; 
"  what  else  is  it  good  for  ?  " 

"  But  what  could  it  do,  if  any  danger  came  ?  "  Alice 
asked. 

"  It  could  bark,"  said  the  Rose. 


THE  GARDEN  OF  LIVE  FLOWERS. 


155 


"  It  says  '  Bough-wough  !  '  "  cried  a  Daisy :  "  that's 
"why  its  branches  are  called  boughs !  " 

"Didn't  you  know  that?"  cried  another  Daisy,  and 
here  they  all  began  shouting  together,  till  the  air 
seemed   quite   full   of   little   shrill   voices.      "  Silence, 


every  one  of  you !  "  cried  the  Tiger-lily,  waving  itself 
passionately  from  side  to  side,  and  trembling  with  ex- 
citement. "  They  know  I  can't  get  at  them  !  "  it  panted, 
bending  its  quivering  head  toward  Alice,  "  or  they 
wouldn't  dare  to  do  it !  " 

"Never  mind!  "  Alice  said  in  a  soothing  tone,  and 
stooping  down  to  the  daisies,  who  were  just  beginning 


156  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

again,  she  whispered,  "  If  you  don't  hold  your  tongues, 
I'll  pick  you  !  " 

There  was  silence  in  a  moment,  and  several  of  the 
pink  daisies  turned  white. 

"  That's  right !  "  said  the  Tiger-lily.  "  The  daisies 
fire  worst  of  all.  When  one  speaks,  they  all  begin 
together,  and  it's  enough  to  make  one  wither  to  hear  the 
way  they  go  on  !  " 

"  How  is  it  you  can  all  talk  so  nicely  ?  "  Alice  said, 
hoping  to  get  it  into  a  better  temper  by  a  compliment. 
"  I've  been  in  many  gardens  before,  but  none  of  the 
flowers  could  talk." 

"  Put  your  hand  down,  and  feel  the  ground,"  said  the 
Tiger-lily.     "  Then  you'll  know  why." 

Alice  said  so.  "  It's  very  hard,"  she  said,  "  but  I 
don't  see  what  that  has  to  do  with  it." 

"  In  most  gardens,"  the  Tiger-lily  said,  "  they  make 

Jhe   beds   too   soft so   that   the   flowers    are    always 

Asleep." 

This  sounded  a  very  good  reason,  and  Alice  was 
quite  pleased  to  know  it.  "  I  never  thought  of  that 
before  !  "  she  said. 

"  It's  my  opinion  that  you  never  think  at  all,"  the 
Rose  said  in  a  rather  severe  tone. 

"  I  n<?ver  saw  anybody  that  looked  stupider,"  a  Vio- 
let said,  cO  suddenly,  that  Alice  quite  jumped;  for  it 
hadn't  spoken  before. 

"  Hold  your  tongue!  "  cried  the  Tiger-lily.  "  As  if 
you  ever  saw  anybody !  You  keep  your  head  under  the 
leaves,  and  snore  away  there,  till  you  know  no  more 
what's  going  on  in  the  world,  than  if  you  were  a  bud !  ' 

"  Are  there  any  more  people  in  the  garden  besides 
me  ?  "  Alice  said,  not  choosing  to  notice  the  Rose's  last 
remark. 

"  There's  one  other  flower  in  the  garden  that  can 


THE  GARDEN  OF  LIVE  FLOWERS,  157 

move  about  like  you,"  said  the  Rose.     "  I  wonder  how 

you  do  it "     ("  You're  always  wondering,"  said  the 

Tiger-lily),  "but  she's  more  bushy  than  you  are." 

"  Is  she  like  me  ? ''"  Alice  asked  eagerly,  for  the 
thought  crossed  her  mind,  "  There's  another  little  girl 
in  the  garden,  somewhere !  " 

"  Well,   she  has  the  same  awkward  shape   as  you," 

the  Rose  said ;  "  but  she's  redder and  her  petals  are 

shorter,  I  think." 

"  Her  petals  are  done  up  close,  almost  like  a  dahlia," 
the  Tiger-lily  interrupted :  "  not  tumbled  about  anyhow, 
like  yours." 

"  But  that's  not  your  fault,"  the  Rose  added,  kindly: 
"  you're  beginning  to  fade,  you  know- — — and  then  one 
can't  help  one's  petals  getting  a  little  untidy." 

Alice  didn't  like  this  idea  at  all :  so,  to  change  the 
subject,  she  asked,  "  Does  she  ever  come  out  here  %  " 

"  I  dare  say  you'll  see  her  soon,"  said  the  Eose. 
"  She's  one  of  the  thorny  kind." 

"  Where  does  she  wear  the  thorns  ?  "  Alice  asked, 
with  some  curiosity. 

"  Why,  all  round  her  head,  of  course,"  the  Rose  re- 
plied. "  I  was  wondering  you  hadn't  got  some,  too.  I 
thought  it  was  the  regular  rule." 

"  She's  coming!  "  cried  the  Larkspur.  "  I  hear  her 
footstep,   thump,  thump,  along  the  gravel-walk !  ' 

Alice  looked  round  eagerly,  and  found  that  it  was 
the  Red  Queen.  "  She's  grown  a  good  deal !  ':  was 
her  first  remark.  She  had  indeed :  when  Alice  first 
found  her  in  the  ashes,  she  had  been  only  three  inches 

J  t, 

high and  here  she  was,  half  a  head  taller  than  Alice 

herself ! 

"  It's  the  fresh  air  that  does  it,"  said  the  Rose : 
"  wonderfully  fine  air  it  is,  out  here." 

"  I  think  I'll  go  and  meet  her,"   said   Alice,   for, 


158 


THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 


though  the  flowers  were  interesting  enough,  she  felt 
that  it  would  be  far  grander  to  have  a  talk  with  a  real 
Queen. 

"Yon  can't  possibly  do  that,"  said  the  Rose:  "Z 
should  advise  yon  to  walk  the  other  way.'' 

This  sounded  nonsense  to  Alice,  so  she  said  nothing, 
but  set  oil  at  once  toward  the  Red  Queen.     To  her  sur- 


r.,\mi.W/fmnJ. 


prise,   she  lost  sight  of  her  in  a  moment,   and  found 
herself  walking  in  at  the  front-door  again. 

A  little  provoked,  she  drew  back,  and  after  looking 
everywhere  for  the  Queen  (whom  she  spied  out  at  last, 
a  long  way  off),  she  thought  she  would  try  the  plan, 
this  time,  of  walking  in  the  opposite  direction. 


THE  GARDEN  OF  LIVE  FLOWEES.  159 

It  succeeded  beautifully.  She  had  not  been  walk- 
ing a  minute  before  she  found  herself  face  to  face  with 
the  Red  Queen,  and  full  in  sight  of  the  hill  she  had 
been  so  long  aiming  at. 

"  Where  do  you  come  from  ?  "  said  the  Red  Queen. 
"  And  where  are  you  going  ?  Look  up,  speak  nicely, 
and  don't  twiddle  your  fingers  all  the  time." 

Alice  attended  to  all  these  directions,  and  explained, 
as  well  as  she  could,  that  she  had  lost  her  way. 

"  I  don't  know  what  you  mean  by  your  way,"  said 

the  Queen :  "  all  the  ways  about  here  belong  to  me • 

but  why  did  you  come  out  here  at  all  ? "  she  added,  in 
a  kinder  tone.  "  Curtesy  while  you're  thinking  what 
to  say.     It  saves  time." 

Alice  wondered  a  little  at  this,  but  she  was  too  much 
in  awe  of  the  Queen  to  disbelieve  it.  "  I'll  try  it  when 
I  go  home,"  she  thought  to  herself,  "  the  next  time 
I'm  a  little  late  for  dinner." 

"  It's  time  for  you  to  answer  now,"  the  Queen 
said,  looking  at  her  watch :  "  open  your  mouth  a  little 
wider  when  you  speak,  and  always  say  '  your  Maj- 
esty.' " 

"  I  only  wanted  to  see  what  the  garden  was  like, 
your  Majesty " 

"  That's  right,"  said  the  Queen,  patting  her  on  the 
head,  which  Alice  didn't  like  at  all:  "  though,  when  you 
say  '  garden,'  I've  seen  gardens,  compared  with  which 
this  would  be  a  wilderness." 

Alice  didn't  care  to  argue  the  point,  but  went  on: 

" and  I  thought  I'd  try  and  find  my  way  to  the  top 

of  that  hill " 

"  When  you  say  '  hill,'  "  the  Queen  interrupted, 
"  I  could  show  you  hills,  in  comparison  with  which 
you'd  call  that  a  valley." 

"  ISTo,  I  shouldn't,"  said  Alice,  surprised  into  contra- 


160 


THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 


dieting  her  at  last:  "  a  hill  can't  be  a  valley,  you  know. 
That  would  be  nonsense- " 

The  Red  Queen  shook  her  head.  "  You  may  call  it 
'nonsense  '  if  you  like,"  she  said,  "  but  I've  heard  non- 
sense, compared  with  which  that  would  be  as  sensible 
as  a  dictionary  !  " 

Alice  curtesied  again,  as  she  was  afraid  from  the 
Queen's  tone  that  she  was  a  little  offended:  and  they 
walked  on  in  silence  till  they  got  to  the  top  of  the  litile 
hill. 

For  some  minutes  Alice  stood  without  speaking,  look- 
ing out  in  all  directions  over  the  country and  a  most 

curious  country  it  was.  There  were  a  number  of  tiny 
little  brooks   running  straight   across   it   from   side  to 


side,  and  the  ground  between  was  divided  up  into 
squares  by  a  number  of  little  green  hedges,  that  reached 
from  brook  to  brook. 

"  I  declare  it's  marked  out  just  like  a  large  chess- 
board !  "  Alice  said  at  last.     "  There  ought  to  be  some 

men  moving  about  somewhere and  so  there  are !  ' 

she  added  in  a  tone  of  delight,  and  her  heart  began  to 
beat  quick  with  excitement  as  she  went  on.     "  It's  a 


THE  GARDEN  OF  LIVE  FLOWERS.  161 

great  huge  game  of  chess  that's  being  played all 

over  the  world if  this  is  the  world  at  all,  you  know. 

Oh,  what  fun  it  is !    How  I  wish  I  was  one  of  them  !    I 

wouldn't  mind  being  a  Pawn,  if  only  I  might  join 

though  of  course  I  should  like  to  be  a  Queen,  best." 

She  glanced  rather  shyly  at  the  real  Queen  as  she 
said  this,  but  her  companion  only  smiled,  pleasantly, 
and  said,  "  That's  easily  managed.  You  can  be  the 
White  Queen's  Pawn,  if  you  like,  as  Lily's  too  young 
to  play ;  and  you're  in  the  Second  Square  to  begin 
with :  when  you  get  to  the  Eighth  Square  you'll  be  a 

Queen "     Just  at  this  moment,  somehow  or  other, 

thev  began  to  run. 

Alice  never  could  quite  make  out,  in  thinking  it  over 
afterward,  how  it  was  that  they  began :  all  she  remem- 
bers is,  that  they  were  running  hand  in  hand,  and  the 
Queen  went  so  fast  that  it  was  all  she  could  do  to  keep 
up  with  her :  and  still  the  Queen  kept  crying  "  Faster ! 
Faster!  "  but  Alice  felt  she  could  not  go  faster,  though 
she  had  no  breath  left  to  say  so. 

The  most  curious  part  of  the  thing  was,  that  the 
trees  and  the  other  things  round  them  never  changed 
their  places  at  all :  however  fast  they  went,  they  never 
seemed  to  pass  anything.  "  I  wonder  if  all  the  things 
move  along  with  us  % "  thought  poor  puzzled  Alice. 
And  the  Queen  seemed  to  guess  her  thoughts,  for  she 
cried,  "  Faster  !    Don't  try  to  talk  !  " 

Not  that  Alice  had  any  idea  of  doing  that.  She  felt 
as  if  she  would  never  be  able  to  talk  again,  she  was 
getting  so  much  out  of  breath :  and  still  the  Queen 
cried  "  Faster !  Faster !  "  and  dragged  her  along. 
"  Are  we  nearly  there  \  "  Alice  managed  to  pant  out  at 
last. 

"  Nearly  there !  "  the  Queen  repeated.  "  Why,  we 
passed  it  ten  minutes  ago !  Faster !  "  And  they  ran 
11 


1G2  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

on  for  a  time  in  silence,  with  the  wind  whistling  in 
Alice's  ears,  and  almost  blowing  her  hair  off  her  head, 
she  fancied. 

"jNTow!  Xow!"  cried  the  Queen.  ''Faster! 
Faster !  '  And  they  went  so  fast  that  at  last  they 
seemed  to  skim  through  the  air,  hardly  touching  the 
ground  with  their  feet,  till  suddenly,  just  as  Alice  was 
getting  quite  exhausted,  they  stopped,  and  she  found 
herself  sitting  on  the  ground,  breathless  and  giddy. 

The  Queen  propped  her  up  against  a  tree,  and  said 
kindly,  "  You  niav  rest  a  little  now." 

Alice  looked  round  her  in  great  surprise.  "  Why,  I 
do  believe  we've  been  under  this  tree  the  whole  time! 
Everything's  just  as  it  was !  '" 


"Of  course  it  is,"  said  the  Queen:  "what  would 
you  have  it  (  " 

"  Well,  in  our  country,"  said  Alice,  still  panting  a 

little,    "  you'd   generally  get  to   somewhere   else if 

you  ran  very  fast  for  a  Ions:  time,  as  we've  been  doing." 

"  A  slow  sort  of  country  !  "  said  the  Queen.  "  Xow, 
here,  you  see,  it  takes  all  the  running  you  can  do,  to 
keep  in  the  same  place.  If  you  want  to  get  somewhere 
else,  you  must  run  at  least  twice  as  fast  as  that !  " 


THE  GARDEN  OF  LIVE  FLOWERS.  103 

"  I'd  rather  not  try,   please !  "   said   Alice.      "  I'm 

quite  content  to  stay  here only  I  am  so  hot  and 

thirsty !  " 

"  I  know  what  you'd  like !  "  the  Queen  said  good- 
naturedly,  taking  a  little  box  out  of  her  pocket.  "  Have 
a  biscuit  ?  " 

Alice  thought  it  would  not  be  civil  to  say  "  No," 
though  it  wasn't  at  all  what  she  wanted.  So  she  took 
it,  and  ate  it  as  well  as  she  could :  and  it  was  very  dry ; 
and  she  thought  she  had  never  been  so  nearly  choked 
in  all  her  life. 

"  While  you're  refreshing  yourself,"  said  the  Queen, 
"  I'll  just  take  the  measurements."  And  she  took  a  rib- 
bon out  of  her  pocket,  marked  in  inches,  and  began 
measuring  the  ground,  and  sticking  little  pegs  in  here 
and  there. 

"  At  the  end  of  two  yards,"  she  said,  putting  in  a 
peg  to  mark  the  distance,  "  I  shall  give  you  your  direc- 
tions  have  another  biscuit  ?  " 

"  No,  thank  you,"  said  Alice :  "  one's  quite  enough  !  " 

"  Thirst  quenched,  I  hope  ?  "  said  the  Queen. 

Alice  did  not  know  what  to  say  to  this,  but  luckily 
the  Queen  did  not  wait  for  an  answer,  but  went  on. 

"  At  the  end  of  three  yards  I  shall  repeat  them for 

fear  of  your  forgetting  them.  At  the  end  of  four,  I 
shall  say  good-bye.     And  at  the  end  of  jive,  I  shall 


go !  " 


She  had  got  all  the  pegs  put  in  by  this  time,  and 
Alice  looked  on  with  great  interest  as  she  returned  to 
the  tree,  and  then  began  slowly  walking  down  the  row. 

At  the  two-yard  peg  she  faced  round,  and  said,  "  A 
pawn  goes  two  squares  in  its  first  move,  you  know.     So 

you'll  go  very  quickly  through  the  Third  Square by 

railway,  I  should  think and  you'll  find  yourself  in 

the  Fourth  Square  in  no  time.     Well,  that  square  be- 


164  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

longs  to  Tweedledum  and  Tweedledee the  Fifth  is 

mostly  water the  Sixth  belongs  to  Humpty  Dumpty 

But  you  make  no  remark  ?  " 

"I 1   didn't   know   I   had  to  make  one just- 
then,"  Alice  faltered  out. 

"  You  should  have  said,"  the  Queen  went  on  in  a 
tone  of  grave  reproof,  "  '  It's  extremely  kind  of  you  to 

tell  me   all   this  '  - however,   we'll   suppose   it   said 

the  Seventh  Square  is  all  forest however,  one 

of  the  Knights  will  show  you  the  way and  in  the 

Eighth  Square  we  shall  be  Queens  together,  and  it's  all 
feasting  and  fun !  "  Alice  got  up  and  courtesied,  and 
sat  down  again. 

At  the  next  peg  the  Queen  turned  again,  and  this 
time  she  said,  "  Speak  in  French  when  you  can't  think 

of  the  English  for  a  thing turn  out  your  toes  as  you 

walk and  remember  who  you  are !  '      She  did  not 

wait  for  Alice  to  curtesy  this  time,  but  walked  on  quick- 
ly to  the  next  peg,  where  she  turned  for  a  moment  to 
say  "  good-bye,"  and  then  hurried  on  to  the  last. 

How  it  happened,  Alice  never  knew,  but  exactly  as 
she  came  to  the  last  peg,  she  was  gone.  Whether  she 
vanished  into  the  air,  or  whether  she  ran  quickly  into 
the  wood  ("and  she  can  run  very  fast!'  thought 
Alice),  there  was  no  way  of  guessing,  but  she  was  gone, 
and  Alice  began  to  remember  that  she  was  a  Pawn,  and 
that  it  would  soon  be  time  for  her  to  move. 


CHAPTER  III. 


LOOKING-GLASS  INSECTS. 


Of  course  the  first  thing  to  do  was  to  make  a  grand 
survey  of  the  country  she  was  going  to  travel  through. 
"  It's  something  very  like  learning  geography,"  thought 
Alice,   as  she  stood  on  tiptoe  in  hopes  of  being  able 

to  see  a  little  further.     "  Principal  rivers there  are 

none.      Principal  mountains I'm  on  the  only  one, 

but  I  don't  think  it's  got  any  name.     Principal  towns 

why,  what  are  those  creatures,  making  honey  down 

there  ?     They  can't  be  bees nobody  ever  saw  bees  a 

mile  off,  you  know "  and  for  some  time  she  stood 

silent,  watching  one  of  them  that  was  bustling  about 
among  the  flowers,  poking  its  proboscis  into  them,  "  just 
as  if  it  was  a  regular  bee,"  thought  Alice. 

However,  this  was  anything  but  a  regular  bee :  in 

fact,  it  was  an  elephant as  Alice  soon  found  out, 

though  the  idea  quite  took  her  breath  away  at  first. 
"  And  what  enormous  flowers  they  must  be !  "  was  her 
next  idea.  "  Something  like  cottages  with  the  roofs 
taken  off,  and  stalks  put  to  them and  what  quanti- 
ties of  honey  they  must  make !     I  think  I'll  go  down 

and no,  I  won't  go  just  yet,"  she  went  on,  checking 

herself  just  as  she  was  beginning  to  run  down  the  hill, 
and  trying  to  find  some  excuse  for  turning  shy  so  sud- 
denly.    It'll  never  do  to  go  down  among  them  without 

a  good  long  branch  to  brush  them  away and  what 

fun  it'll  be  when  they  ask  me  how  I  liked  my  walk.     I 

shall  say '  Oh,  I  liked  it  well  enough '   (here 

165 


1GG  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

came  the  favorite  little  toss  of  the  head),  '  only  it  was 
so  dusty  and  hot,  and  the  elephants  did  tease  so !  " 

"  I  think  I'll  go  down  the  other  way/'  she  said,  after 
a  pause:  "  and  perhaps  I  may  visit  the  elephants  later 
on.  Besides,  I  do  so  want  to  get  into  the  Third 
Square  1  " 

So  with  this  excuse  she  ran  down  the  hill  and  jumped 
over  the  first  of  the  six  little  brooks. 

*  *  *  *  * 
*                   *                   *                   # 

*  *  *  *  * 

"  Tickets,  please !  "  said  the  Guard,  putting  his  head 
in  at  the  window.  In  a  moment  everybody  was  hold- 
ing  out  a  ticket :  they  were  about  the  same  size  as  the 
people,  and  quite  seemed  to  fill  the  carriage. 

"  Kow,  then !  Show  your  ticket,  child  !  "  the  Guard 
went  on,  looking  angrily  at  Alice.  And  a  great  manv 
voices  all  said  together  ("  like  the  chorus  of  a  song," 
thought  Alice),  "  Don't  keep  him  waiting,  child  !  Why 
his  time  is  worth  a  thousand  pounds  a  minute !  ': 

c<  I'm  afraid  I  haven't  got  one,"  Alice  said  in  a 
frightened  tone :  "  there  wasn't  a  ticket-office  where  I 
came  from."  And  again  the  chorus  of  voices  went  on 
"  There  wasn't  room  for  one  where  she  came  from.  The 
land  there  is  worth  a  thousand  pounds  an  inch !  ': 

"  Don't  make  excuses,"  said  the  Guard :  "  you  should 
have  bought  one  from  the  engine-driver."  And  once 
more  the  chorus  of  voices  went  on  with  "  The  man  that 
drives  the  engine.  Why,  the  smoke  alone  is  worth  a 
thousand  pounds  a  puff !  " 

Alice  'thought  to  herself,  "  Then  there's  no  use  in 
speaking."  The  voices  didn't  join  in  this  time,  as  she 
hadn't   spoken,    but,    to    her   great    surprise,    they    all 


LOOKING-GLASS  INSECTS. 


167 


thought  in  chorus  (I  hope  you  understand  what  think' 

ing  in  chorus  means for  I    must    confess    that    I 

don't),  "  Better  say  nothing  at  all.  Language  is  worth 
a  thousand  pounds  a  word !  " 

"  I  shall  dream  about  a  thousand  pounds  to-night,  I 
know  I  shall !  "  thought  Alice. 

All  this  time  the  Guard  was  looking  at  her,  first 
through  a  telescope,  then  through  a  microscope,  and 
then  through  an  opera-glass.  At  last  he  said,  "  You're 
traveling  the  wrong  way,"  and  shut  up  the  window 
and  went  away. 


"  So  young  a  child,"  said  the  gentleman  sitting  op- 
posite to  her,  (he  was  dressed  in  white  paper)  "  ought 
to  know  which  way  she's  going,  even  if  she  doesn't  know 
her  own  name  !  " 

A  Goat,  that  was  sitting  next  to  the  gentleman  in 
white,  shut  his  eyes  and  said  in  a  loud  voice :  "  She 
ought  to  know  her  way  to  the  ticket-office,  even  if  she 
doesn't  know  her  alphabet !  " 


168  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

There  was  a  Beetle  sitting  next  the  Goat  (it  was  a 
very  queer  carriage-full  of  passengers  altogether),  and, 
as  the  rule  seemed  to  be  that  they  should  all  speak  in 
turn,  lie  went  on  with  "  She'll  have  to  go  back  from  here 
as  luggage !  " 

Alice  couldn't  see  who  was  sitting  beyond  the  Beetle, 

but  a  hoarse  voice  spoke  next.     "  Change  engines " 

it  said,  and  there  it  choked  and  was  obliged  to  leave  off. 

"  It  sounds  like  a  horse,"  Alice  thought  to  herself. 
And  an  extremely  small  voice,  close  to  her  ear,  said, 

"  You  might  make  a  joke  on  that— something  about  '  horse  '   and  '  hoarse,' 
you  know." 

Then  a  verv  ffentle  voice  in  the  distance  said,  "  She 
must  be  labelled  '  Lass,  with  care,'  you  know " 

And  after  that  other  voices  went  on  ("  What  a  num- 
ber of  people  there  are  in  the  carriage !  '  thought 
Alice),  saying,  "  She  must  go  by  post,  as  she's  got  a 

head  on  her "  "  She  must  be  sent  as  a  message  by 

the  telegraph "     "  She  must  draw  the  train  herself 

the  rest  of  the  way ,"  and  so  on. 

But  the  gentleman  dressed  in  white  paper  leaned 
forward  and  whispered  in  her  ear,  "  ]STever  mind  what 
they  all  say,  my  dear,  but  take  a  return-ticket  every 
time  the  train  stops." 

"  Indeed  I  shan't !  "  Alice  said,  rather  impatiently. 

"  I  don't  belong  to  this  railway  journey  at  all 1  was 

in  a  wood  just  now and  I  wish  I  could  get  back 

there !  " 

"You  might  make  a  joke  on  that,"  Said  the  little    Voice  close  to 
ner  ear  I    "something  about  '  you  would  if  you  could/  you  know." 

"  Don't  tease  so,"  said  Alice,  looking  about  in  vain 
to  see  where  the  voice  came  from :  "  if  vou're  so  anx- 
ious  to  have  a  joke  made,  why  don't  you  make  one 
yourself  ?  " 

The  little  voice  sighed  deeply :  it  was  very  unhappy, 


LOOKING-GLASS  INSECTS.  169 

evidently,  and  Alice  would  have  said  something  pity- 
ing to  comfort  it,  "  if  it  would  only  sigh  like  other 
people !  "  she  thought.  But  this  was  such  a  wonder- 
fully small  sigh,  that  she  wouldn't  have  heard  it  at  all, 
if  it  hadn't  come  quite  close  to  her  ear.  The  conse- 
quence of  this  was  that  it  tickled  her  ear  very  much, 
and  quite  took  off  her  thoughts  from  the  unhappiness  of 
the  poor  little  creature. 

"I  know  you  are  a  friend,"  the  little  Voice  Went  OU  |  "a  dear 
friend,  and  an  old  friend.    And  you  won't  hurt  me,  though  I  am  an  insect." 

"  What  kind  of  insect  ? "  Alice  inquired  a  little 
anxiously.  What  she  really  wanted  to  know  was, 
whether  it  could  sting  or  not,  but  she  thought  this 
wouldn't  be  quite  a  civil  question  to  ask. 

"What,  then  you  don't" —  the  little  voice  began,  when 
it  was  drowned  by  a  shrill  scream  from  the  engine, 
and  everybody  jumped  up  in  alarm,  Alice  among  the 
rest. 

The  Horse,  who  had  put  his  head  out  of  the  win- 
dow, quietly  drew  it  in  and  said,  "  It's  only  a  brook 
we  have  to  jump  over."  Everybody  seemed  satisfied 
with  this,  though  Alice  felt  a  little  nervous  at  the 
idea  of  trains  jumping  at  all.  "  However,  it'll  take 
us  into  the  Fourth  Square,  that's  some  comfort !  ': 
she  said  to  herself.  In  another  moment  she  felt  the 
carriage  rise  straight  up  into  the  air,  and  in  her 
fright  she  caught  at  the  thing  nearest  to  her  hand, 
which  happened  to  be  the  Goat's  beard. 

*  *  *  *  * 


*  * 


*  *  *  .* 


170  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

But  the  beard  seemed  to  melt  away  as  she  touched  it, 

and  she  found  herself  sitting  quietly  under  a  tree 

while  the  Gnat  (for  that  was  the  insect  she  had  been 
talking  to)  was  balancing  itself  on  a  twig  just  over 
her  head,  and  fanning  her  with  its  wings. 

It  certainly  was  a  very  large  Gnat :  "  about  the  size 
of  a  chicken,''  Alice  thought.  Still,  she  couldn't  fe&l 
nervous  with  it,  after  they  had  been  talking  together  so 
long. 

" then  you  don't  like  all  insects  ?  "  the  Gnat  went 

on,  as  quietly  as  if  nothing  had  happened. 

"  I  like  them  when  thev  can  talk,"  Alice  said.  "  None 
of  them  ever  talk,  where  I  come  from." 

"  What  sort  of  insects  do  you  rejoice  in,  where  you 
come  from  I  "  the  Gnat  inquired. 

"  I  don't  rejoice  in  insects  at  all,"  Alice  explained, 

"  because   I'm  rather  afraid  of  them at  least  the 

large  kinds.  But  I  can  tell  vou  the  names  of  some  of 
them." 

"  Of  course  they  answer  to  their  names  ?  "  the  Gnat 
remarked  carelessly. 

"  I  never  knew  them  do  it." 

"  What's  the  use  of  their  having  names,"  the  Gnat 
said,  "  if  they  won't  answer  to  them  ?  " 

"  Xo  use  to  them,"  said  Alice ;  "  but  it's  useful  to 
the  people  that  name  them,  I  suppose.  If  not,  why  do 
things  have  names  at  all  (  " 

"  I  can't  say,"  the  Gnat  replied.  "Further  on,  in 
the  wood  down  there,  they've  got  no  names how- 
ever, go  on  with  your  list  of  insects,  you're  wasting 
time." 

"  Well,  there's  the  Horse-fly,"  Alice  began,  coimting 
off  the  names  on  her  fingers. 

"  All  right,"  said  the  Gnat :  "  half  way  up  that  bush, 
you'll  see  a  Ilocking-horse-fly,  if  you  look.     It's  made 


LOOKING-GLASS  INSECTS.  ift 

entirely  of  wood,  and  gets  about  by  swinging  itself  from 
branch  to  branch." 

"  What  does  it  live  on  ?  "  Alice  asked,  with  great 
curiositv. 

"  Sap  and  sawdust,"  said  the  Gnat.  "  Go  on  with 
the  list." 

Alice  looked  at  the  Rocking-horse-fly  with  great  in- 
terest, and  made  up  her  mind  that  it  must  have  been 
just  repainted,  it  looked  so  bright  and  sticky;  and  then 
she  went  on. 


"  And  there's  the  Dragon-fly." 

"  Look  on  the  branch  above  your  head,"  said  the 
Gnat,  "  and  there  you'll  find  a  Snap-dragon-fly.  Its 
body  is  made  of  plum-pudding,  its  wings  of  holly-leaves, 
and  its  head  is  a  raisin  burning  in  brandy." 

"  And  what  does  it  live  on  ?  "  Alice  asked,  as  be- 
fore. 

"  Frumenty  and  mince-pie,"  the  Gnat  replied :  "  and 
it  makes  its  nest  in  a  Christmas-box." 

"  And  then  there's  the  Butterfly,"  Alice  went  on, 
after  she  had  taken  a  good  look  at  the  insect  with  its 


172 


THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 


head  on  fire,  and  had  thought  to  herself,  "  I  wonder 
if  that's  the  reason  insects  are  so  fond  of  flying  into 
candles because    they    want    to    turn    into    Snap- 


dragon-flies !  " 

"  Crawling  at  your  feet,"  said  the  Gnat  (Alice  drew 
her  feet  back  in  some  alarm),  "you  may  observe  a 
Bread-and-butter-fly.  Its  wings  are  thin  slices  of  bread' 
and-butter,  its  body  is  a  crust,  and  its  head  is  9.  lump 
of  sugar." 

"  And  what  does  it  live  on  ?  " 

"  Weak  tea  with  cream  in  it." 


A  new  difficulty  came  into  Alice's  head.  "  Suppos» 
ing  it  couldn't  find  any  ?  "  she  suggested. 

"  Then  it  would  die,  of  course." 

"  But  that  must  happen  very  often,"  Alice  remarked, 
thoughtfully. 

"  It  always  happens,"  said  the  Gnat. 

After  this,  Alice  was  silent  for  a  minute  or  two, 
pondering.  The  Gnat  amused  itself  meanwhile  by 
humming  round  and  round  her  head :  at  last  it  settled 
again  and  remarked,  "  I  suppose  you  don't  want  to 
lose  your  name  ?  " 


LOOKING-GLASS  INSECTS. 


173 


"  "No,  indeed,"  Alice  said,  a  little  anxiously. 

"  And  yet  I  don't  know,"  the  Gnat  went  on  in  a 
careless  tone :  "  only  think  how  convenient  it  would 
be  if  you  could  manage  to  go  home  without  it!  For 
instance,  if  the  governess  wanted  to  call  you  to  your 

lessons,  she  would  call  out  '  Come  here '  and  there 

she  would  have  to  leave  off,  because  there  wouldn't  be 
any  name  for  her  to  call,  and  of  course  you  wouldn't 
have  to  go,  you  know." 

"  That  would  never  do,  I'm  sure,"  said  Alice :  "  the 
governess  would  never  think  of  excusing  my  lessons  for 
that.     If  she  couldn't  remember  my  name,  she'd  call 


me 


Miss !  '  as  the  servants  do 


>? 


"  Well,  if  she  said  '  Miss,'  and  didn't  say  anything 
more,"  the  Gnat  remarked,  "  of  course  you'd  miss  your 
lessons.     That's   a  joke.      I  wish  you  had  made  it." 

"  Why  do  you  wish  I  had  made  it  ?  "  Alice  asked. 
"  It's  a  very  bad  one." 

But  the  Gnat  only  sighed  deeply,  while  two  large 
tears  came  rolling  down  its  cheeks. 

"  You  shouldn't  make  jokes,"  Alice  said,  "  if  it 
makes  you  so  unhappy." 


174  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

Then  caine  another  of  those  melancholy  little  sighs, 
and  this  time  the  poor  Gnat  really  seemed  to  have 
sighed  itself  away,  for,  when  Alice  looked  up,  there  was 
nothing  whatever  to  be  seen  on  the  twig,  and,  as  she  was 
getting  quite  chilly  with  sitting  still  so  long,  she  got 
up  and  walked  on. 

She  very  soon  came  to  an  open  field,  with  a  wood  on 
the  other  side  of  it :  it  looked  much  darker  than  the 
last  wood,  and  Alice  felt  a  little  timid  about  going  into 
it.  However,  on  second  thoughts,  she  made  up  her 
mind  to  go  on  :  "  for  I  certainly  won't  go  back,"  she 
thought  to  herself,  and  this  was  the  only  way  to  the 
Eighth  Square. 

kb  This  must  be  the  wood,"  she  said  thoughtfully  to 
herself,  "  where  things  have  no  names.  I  wonder 
what'll  become  of  my  name  when  I  go  in  ?     I  shouldn't 

like  to  lose  it  at  all because  they'd  have  to  give 

me  another,  and  it  would  be  almost  certain  to  be  an 
ugly  one.  But  then  the  fun  would  be,  trying  to 
find  the  creature  that  had  got  my  old  name !  That's 
just  like  the  advertisements,  you  know,   when   people 

lose  dogs '  answers  to  the  name  of  "  Dash:  "  had  on 

a  brass  collar  ' just   fancy  calling  everything  you 

met  *  Alice,'  till  one  of  them  answered !  Only  they 
wouldn't  answer  at  all,  if  they  were  wise." 

She  was  rambling  on  in  this  way  when  she  reached 
the  wood :  it  looked  very  cool  and  shady.  "  Well,  at 
any  rate  it's  a  great  comfort,"  she  said  as  she  stepped 
under  the  trees,  "  after  being  so  hot,  to  get  into  the 
■ into  the into  what?"  she  went  on,  rather  sur- 
prised at  not  being  able  to  think  of  the  word.     "  I  mean 

to    get    under    the under    the under    this,    you 

know !  "  putting  her  hand  on  the  trunk  of  the  tree. 
"  What  does  it  call  itself,  I  wonder  ?  I  do  believe  it's 
got  no  name why,  to  be  sure  it  hasn't !  " 


LOOKING-GLASS  INSECTS. 


175 


She  stood  silent  for  a  minute,  thinking :  then  she  sud- 
denly began  again.  "  Then  it  really  has  happened, 
after  all !  And  now,  who  am  I.  I  will  remember,  if  I 
can !  I'm  determined  to  do  it !  ':  But  being  deter- 
mined didn't  help  her  much,  and  all  she  could  say,  after 
a  great  deal  of  puzzling,  was,  "  L,  I  know  it  begins  with 
L!" 

Just  then  a  Fawn  came  wandering  by:  it  looked  at 


Alice  with  its  large,  gentle  eyes,  but  didn't  seem  at 
all  frightened.  "  Here  then  !  Here  then  !  "  Alice  said, 
as  she  held  out  her  hand  and  tried  to  stroke  it ;  but  it 
only  started  back  a  little,  and  then  stood  looking  at 
her  again. 

"  What  do  you  call  yourself  ?  "  the  Fawn  said  at 
last.     Such  a  soft,  sweet  voice  it  had ! 


176  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 


a 


I  wish  I  knew !  '  thought  poor  Alice.  She  an- 
swered, rather  sadly,  "  Nothing,  just  now." 

"  Think  again,"  it  said ;  "  that  won't  do." 

Alice  thought,  but  nothing  came  of  it.  "  Please, 
would  you  tell  me  what  you  call  yourself?"  she  said 
timidly.     "  I  think  that  might  help  a  little." 

"  I'll  tell  vou,  if  vou'll  come  a  little  further  on," 
the  Fawn  said.      "  I  can't  remember  here." 

So  they  walked  on  together  through  the  wood,  Alice 
with  her  arms  clasped  lovingly  round  the  soft  neck 
of  the  Fawn,  till  they  came  out  into  another  open  field, 
and  here  the  Fawn  gave  a  sudden  bound  into  the  air, 
and  shook  itself  free  from  Alice's  arms  "  I'm  a 
Fawn!  "  it  cried  out  in  a  voice  of  delight,  "  and,  dear 
me !  you're  a  human  child !  ':  A  sudden  look  of  alarm 
came  into  its  beautiful  brown  eyes,  and  in  another  mo- 
ment  it  had  darted  away  at  full  speed. 

Alice  stood  looking  after  it,  almost  ready  to  cry  with 
vexation  at  having  lost  her  dear  little  fellow-traveler  so 
suddenly.  "  However,  I  know  my  name  now,"  she  said, 
"  that's  some  comfort.  Alice Alice 1  won't  for- 
get it  again.  And  now,  which  of  these  finger-posts 
ought  I  to  follow,  I  wonder  ?  " 

It  was  not  a  very  difficult  question  to  answer,  as  there 
was  only  one  road  through  the  wood,  and  the  two  finger- 
posts both  pointed  along  it.  "  I'll  settle  it,"  Alice 
said  to  herself,  "  when  the  road  divides  and  they  point 
different  ways." 

But  this  did  not  seem  likely  to  happen.  She  went 
on  and  on,  a  long  way,  but  wherever  the  road  divided 
there  were  sure  to  be  two  finger-posts  pointing  the  same 
way,  one  marked  "  TO  TWEEDLEDUM'S  HOUSE," 
and  the  other  "  TO  THE  HOUSE  OF  TWEEDLE- 
DEE." 


LOOKING-GLASS  INSECTS.  177 


u 


I  do  believe,"  said  Alice  at  last,  "  that  they  live 
in  the  same  house !     I  wonder  I  never  thought  of  that 

before But  I  can't  stay  there  long.   I'll  just  call  and 

say  '  How  d'ye  do  ? '  and  ask  them  the  way  out  of  the 
wood.  If  I  could  only  get  to  the  Eighth  Square  before 
it  gets  dark !  "  So  she  wandered  on,  talking  to  herself 
as  she  went,  till,  on  turning  a  sharp  corner,  she  came 
upon  two  fat  little  men,  so  suddenly  that  she  could 
not  help  starting  back,  but  in  another  moment  she  re- 
covered herself,  feeling  sure  that  they  must  be 


12 


CHAPTER  IV. 


TWEEDLEDUM  AND  TWEEDLEDEE. 


They  were  standing  under  a  tree,  each  with  an  arm 
round  the  other's  neck,  and  Alice  knew  which  was 
which  in  a  moment,  because  one  of  them  had  "  DUM  ' 
embroidered  on  his  collar,  and  the  other  "  DEE."  "  I 
suppose  they've  each  got  '  TWEEDLE  '  round  at  the 
back  of  the  collar,"  she  said  to  herself. 


They  stood  so  still  that  she  quite  forgot  they  were 
alive,  and  she  was  just  looking  round  to  see  if  the 
word  "  TWEEDLE  "  was  written  at  the  back  of  each 
collar,  when  she  was  startled  by  a  voice  coming  from 
the  one  marked  "  DUM." 

"  If  you   think   we're   wax-works,"    he   said,    "  you 

178 


TWEEDLEDUM  AND  TWEEDLEDEE.  179 

ought  to  pay,  you  know.  Wax-works  weren't  made  to 
be  looked  at  for  nothing.     Nohow !  " 

"  Contrariwise,"  added  the  one  marked  "  DEE,"  "  if 
you  think  we're  alive,  you  ought  to  speak." 

"  I'm  sure  I'm  very  sorry,"  was  all  Alice  could  say; 
for  the  words  of  the  old  song  kept  ringing  through  her 
head  like  the  ticking  of  a  clock,  and  she  could  hardly 
help  saying  them  out  loud : 

"  Tweedledum  and  Tweedledee 
Agreed  to  have  a  battle; 
For  Tweedledum  said  Tweedledee 
Had  spoiled  his  nice  new  rattle. 

"  Just  then  flew  down  a  monstrous  crow, 
As  black  as  a  tar-barrel ; 
Which  frightened  both  the  heroes  so, 
They  quite  forgot  their  quarrel." 

"  I  know  what  you're  thinking  about,"  said  Tweedle- 
dum :  "  but  it  isn't  so,  nohow." 

"  Contrariwise,"  continued  Tweedledee,  "  if  it  was 
so,  it  might  be ;  and  if  it  were  so,  it  would  be ;  but  as 
it  isn't,  it  ain't.     That's  logic." 

"  I  was  thinking,"  Alice  said  very  politely,  "  which 
is  the  best  way  out  of  this  wood :  it's  getting  so  dark. 
Would  you  tell  me,   please  ?  " 

But  the  fat  little  men  only  looked  at  each  other  and 
grinned. 

They  looked  so  exactly  like  a  couple  of  great  school- 
boys, that  Alice  couldn't  help  pointing  her  finger  at 
Tweedledum,   and  saying  "  First  Boy !  " 

"  ISTohow !  "  Tweedledum  cried  out,  briskly,  and  shut 
his  mouth  up  again  with  a  snap. 

"  Next  Boy !  "  said  Alice,  passing  on  to  Tweedledee, 


130  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

though  she  felt  quite  certain  he  would  only  shout  out 
"  Contrariwise!  "  and  so  he  did. 

"  You've  begun  wrong !  "  cried  Tweedledum.  "  The 
first  thing  in  a  visit  is  to  say  '  How  d'ye  do? '  and  shake 
hands  !  '  And  here  the  two  brothers  gave  each  other 
a  hug,  and  then  they  held  out  the  two  hands  that  were 
free,  to  shake  hands  with  her. 

Alice  did  not  like  shaking  hands  with  either  of  them 
first,  for  fear  of  hurting  the  other  one's  feelings ;  so, 
as  the  best  wav  out  of  the  difficulty,  she  took  hold  of 
both  hands  at  once :  the  next  moment  they  were  danc- 
ing round  in  a  ring.  This  seemed  quite  natural  (she 
remembered  afterward),  and  she  was  not  even  surprised 
to  hear  music  playing:  it  seemed  to  come  from  the  tree 
under  which  they  were  dancing,  and  it  was  done  (as 
well  as  she  could  make  it  out)  by  the  branches  rubbing 
one  across  the  other,  like  fiddles  and  fiddle-sticks. 

"  But  it  certainly  was  funny,  (Alice  said  afterward, 
when  she  was  telling  her  sister  the  history  of  all  this,) 
"to  find  myself  singing  'Here  we  go  round  the  mul- 
berry bush/  I  don't  know  when  I  began  it,  but  some- 
how  I   felt   as   if  I'd  been   singing  it   a   long  time !  ' 

The  other  two  dancers  were  fat,  and  very  soon  out  of 
breath.  "  Four  times  round  is  enough  for  one  dance," 
Tweedledum  panted  out,  and  they  left  off  dancing  as 
suddenly  as  they  had  begun :  the  music  stopped  at  the 
same  moment. 

Then  thev  let  go  of  Alice's  hands,  and  stood  looking 
at  her  for  a  minute :  there  was  a  rather  awkward  pause, 
as  Alice  didn't  know  how  to  begin  a  conversation 
with  people  she  had  just  been  dancing  with.  "  It 
would  never  do  to  say  '  How  d'ye  do  ( '  now,"  she 
said  to  herself:  "we  seem  to  have  got  beyond  that, 
somehow !  " 

"  I  hope  you're  not  much  tired  ?  "  she  said  at  last. 


TWEEDLEDUM  AND  TWEEDLEDEE.  181 

"  Nohow.  And  thank  you  very  much  for  asking," 
said  Tweedledum. 

"  So  much  obliged !  "  added  Tweedledee.  "  You  like 
poetry  ? " 

"  Ye-es    pretty   well some    poetry,"    Alice    said, 

doubtfully.     "  Would  you  tell  me  which  road  leads  out 
of  the  wood  ?  " 

"  What  shall  I  repeat  to  her  ?  "  said  Tweedledee, 
looking  round  at  Tweedledum  with  great  solemn  eyes, 
and  not  noticing  Alice's  question. 

The  Walrus  and  the  Carpenter '  is  the  longest," 
Tweedledum  replied,  giving  his  brother  an  affectionate 
hug. 

Tweedledee  began  instantly : 

"  The  sun  was  shining " 

Here  Alice  ventured  to  interrupt  him.  "  If  it's 
very  long,"  she  said,  as  politely  as  she  could,  "  would 
you  please  tell  me  first  which  road " 

Tweedledee  smiled  gently,  and  began  again : 

"  The  sun  was  shining  on  the  sea, 

Shining  with  all  his  might: 
He  did  his  very  best  to  make 

The  billows  smooth  and  bright — 
And  this  was  odd,  because  it  was 

The  middle  of  the  night. 

"  The  moon  was  shining  sulkily, 
Because  she  thought  the  sun 
Had  got  no  business  to  be  there 
After  the  day  was  done — 
'  It's  very  rude  of  him,'  she  said, 
'  To  come  and  spoil  the  fun! ' 


182  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING  GLASS. 

'  The  sea  teas  wet  as  wet  could  be, 
The  sands  were  dry  as  dry. 
You  could  not  see  a  cloud,  because 

No  cloud  was  in  the  sky: 
No  birds  were  flying  overhead — 
There  were  no  birds  to  fly. 

<e  The  Walrus  and  the  Carpenter 
Were  walking  close  at  hand; 
They  wept  like  anything  to  see 
Such  quantities  of  sand: 
*  If  this  were  only  cleared  away' 
They  said  '  it  would  be  grand! ' 


If  seven  maids  ivith  seven  mops 
Swept  it  for  half  a  year, 
Do  you  suppose/  the  Walrus  said, 
'That  they  could  get  it  clear?' 
*  I  doubt  it,'  said  the  Carpenter, 
And  shed  a  bitter  tear. 


TWEEDLEDUM  AND  TWEEDLEDEE.      183 

"  '  0  Oysters,  come  and  walk  with  us!  ' 
The  Walrus  did  beseech. 
i  A  pleasant  walk,  a  pleasant  talk, 

Along  the  briny  beach: 
We  cannot  do  with  more  than  four, 
To  give  a  hand  to  each.' 

"  The  eldest  Oyster  looked  at  him, 
But  never  a  word  he  said: 
The  eldest  Oyster  winked  his  eye, 

And  shook  his  heavy  head — 
Meaning  to  say  he  did  not  choose 
To  leave  the  oyster-bed. 

rc  But  four  young  Oysters  hurried  up, 
All  eager  for  the  treat: 
Their  coats  were  brushed,  their  faces  washed, 

Their  shoes  were  clean  and  neat — 
And  this  was  odd,  because,  you  know, 
They  hadn't  any  feet. 

"Four  other  Oysters  followed  them, 

And  yet  another  four; 
And  thick  and  fast  they  came  at  last, 

And  more,  and  more,  and  more — ■ 
All  hopping  through  the  frothy  waves, 

And  scrambling  to  the  shore. 

"  The  Walrus  and  the  Carpenter 

Walked  on  a  mile  or  so, 
And  then  they  rested  on  a  rock 

Conveniently  low: 
And  all  the  little  Oysters  stood 

And  waited  in  a  row. 


184 


THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 


"  '  The  time  has  come,'  the  Walrus  said, 
1  To  talk  of  many  things. 
Of  shoes — and  ships — and  sealing-wax- 

Of  cabbages — and  kings — 
And  why  the  sea  is  boiling  hot — 
And  whether  pigs  have  wings.' 


a  i 


But  wait  a  bit/  the  Oysters  cried, 
'  Before  ive  have  our  chat ; 
For  so7ne  of  us  are  oid  of  breath, 
And  all  of  its  are  fat! ' 
'No  hurry!'  said  the  Carpenter. 
They  thanked  him  much  for  that. 

"  '  A  loaf  of  bread,'  the  Walrus  said, 
'  Is  what  we  chiefly  need: 
Pepper  and  vinegar  besides 
Are  very  good  indeed — 
Now  if  you're  ready,  Oysters  dear, 
We  can  begin  to  feed.' 

But  not  on  us!  '  the  Oysters  cried, 
Turning  a  little  blue. 
'*  After  such  kindness,  that  would  be 
A  dismal  thing  to  do!' 


a  c 


TWEEDLEDUM  AND  TWEEDLEDEE. 

*  The  night  is  fine/  the  Walrus  said. 
'  Do  you  admire  the  view  ?  ' 

'  It  was  so  hind  of  you  to  come ! 

And  you  are  very  nice ! ' 
The  Carpenter  said  nothing  but 

'  Cut  us  another  slice  : 
I  wish  you  were  not  quite  so  deaf — 
I've  had  to  ask  you  twice ! ' 


185 


"  '  It  seems  a  shame/  the  Walrus  said, 
'  To  play  them  such  a  trick, 
After  'we've  brought  them  out  so  far, 

And  made  them  trot  so  quick!  ' 
The  Carpenter  said  nothing  but 
1  The  butter's  spread  too  thick!' 

"  '  /  weep  for  you/  the  Walrus  said: 
'  I  deeply  sympathize.' 
With  sobs  and  tears  he  sorted  out 

Those  of  the  largest  size, 
Molding  his  pocket-handkerchief 
Before  his  streaming  eyes. 


186  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

"  '  0  Oysters,'  said  the  Carpenter, 
'  You've  had  a  pleasant  run! 
Shall  ive  be  trotting  home  again  ? ' 
But  answer  came  there  none — 
And,  this  was  scarcely  odd,  because 
They'd  eaten  every  one." 

"  I  like  the  Walrus  Lest,"  said  Alice:  "  because  you 
see  he  was  a  little  sorry  for  the  poor  oysters." 

"  He  ate  more  than  the  Carpenter,  though,"  said 
Tweedledee.  "  You  see  he  held  his  handkerchief  in 
front,  so  that  the  Carpenter  couldn't  count  how  many 
he  took :  contrariwise." 

"  That  was  mean !  "  Alice  said,  indignantly.     "  Then 

I  like  the  Carpenter  best if  he  didn't  eat  so  many 

as  the  Walrus." 

"  But  he  ate  as  many  as  he  could  get,"  said  Tweedle- 
dum. 

This  was   a  puzzler.     After  a   pause,    Alice  began, 

Well !  They  were  both  very  unpleasant  characters 
Here  she  checked  herself  in  some  alarm,  at 
hearing  something  that  sounded  to  her  like  the  puffing 
of  a  large  steam-engine  in  the  wood  near  them,  though 
she  feared  it  was  more  likely  to  be  a  wild  beast.  "  Are 
there  any  lions  or  tigers  about  here  ? ':  she  asked, 
timidly. 

"  It's  only  the  Red  King  snoring,"  said  Tweedle- 
'dee. 

"  Come  and  look  at  him  !  ''  the  brothers  cried,  and 
they  each  took  one  of  Alice's  hands,  and  led  her  up  to 
where  the  King  was  sleeping. 

"  Isn't  he  a  lovely  sight  '\  "  said  Tweedledum. 

Alice  couldn't  say  honestly  that  he  was.  He  had 
a  tall  red  nightcap  on,  with  a  tassel,  and  he  was  lying 
crumpled  up  into  a  sort  of  untidy  heap,  and  snoring 


V  V 

11 


TWEEDLEDUM  AND  TWEEDLEDEE. 


187 


loud "  fit  to  snore  his  head  off !  "  as  Tweedledum 

remarked. 

"  I'm  afraid  he'll  catch  cold  with  lying  on  the  damp 
grass,"  said  Alice,  who  was  a  very  thoughtful  little  girl. 

"  He's  dreaming  now,"  said  Tweedledee :  "  and  what 
do  you  think  he's  dreaming  about  ?  " 

Alice  said  "  Nobody  can  guess  that." 

"Why,  about  you!"  Tweedledee  exclaimed,  clap- 
\  ing  his  hands  triumphantly.  "  And  if  he  left  off 
o  feaming  about  you,  where  do  you  suppose  you'd  be  ?  " 

"  Where  I  am  now,  of  course,"  said  Alice. 


i  ILsse'Z&x 


« 


.. 


^N  ,)t  you  !  '  Tweedledee  retorted,  contemptuously. 
"'  You'd  be  nowhere.  Why,  you're  only  a  sort  of  thing 
in  his  dream  !  " 

:;  If  that  there  King  was  to  wake,"  added  Tweedle- 
dum, "  you'd  go  out bang! just  like  a  candle  !  " 

"  I  shouldn't !  "  Alice  exclaimed,  indignantly.  "  Be- 
sides, if  I'm,  only  a  sort  of  thing  in  his  dream,  what  are 
you,  I  should  like  to  know  ?  " 

"Ditto,"  said  Tweedledum. 

"  Ditto,  ditto !  "  cried  Tweedledee. 


1SS  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

He  shouted  this  so  loud  that  Alice  couldn't  help 
saying,  "  Hush !  You'll  be  waking  him,  I'm  afraidy 
if  you  make  so  much  noise." 

"  Well,  it's  no  use  your  talking  about  waking  him," 
said  Tweedledum,  "  when  you're  only  one  of  the  things 
in  his  dreams.      You  know  very  well  you're  not  real." 

"  I  am  real !  "  said  Alice,  and  began  to  cry. 

"  You  wTon't  make  yourself  a  bit  realler  by  crying," 
Tweedledee  remarked:  "there's  nothing  to  cry  about." 

"  If    I    wasn't    real,"    Alice    said half-laughing 

through  her  tears,  it  all  seemed  so  ridiculous "  I 

shouldn't  be  able  to  cry." 

"  I  hope  you  don't  suppose  those  are  real  tears  ? ': 
Tweedledum  interrupted  in  a  tone  of  great  contempt. 

"  I  know  they're  talking  nonsense,"  Alice  thought  to 
herself:  "and  it's  foolish  to  cry  about  it."  So  she 
brushed  away  her  tears,  and  went  on  as  cheerfully  as 
she  could,  "  At  any  rate  I'd  better  be  getting  out  of  the 
wood,'  for  really  it's  coming  on  very  dark.  Do  you 
think  it's  2'oino;  to  rain  %  " 

Tweedledum  spread  a  large  umbrella  over  himself 
and  his  brother,  and  looked  up  into  it.      "  Xo,  I  don't 

think   it   is,"   he   said:    "at   least not   under   here. 

Nohow." 

"  But  it  may  rain  outside?  " 

"  It  may if  it  chooses,"  said  Tweedledee :  "  we've 

no  objection.      Contrariwise." 

"Selfish  things!'  thought  Alice,  and  she  was  just 
going  to  say  "  Good-night  '  and  leave  them,  when 
Tweedledum  sprang  out  from  under  the  umbrella,  and 
seized  her  by  the  wrist. 

"  Do  you  see  that  ?  "  he  said,  in  a  voice  choking  with 
passion,  and  his  eyes  grew  large  and  yellow  all  in  a 
moment,  as  he  pointed  with  a  trembling  finger  at  a 
small  white  thing  lying  under  the  tree. 


TWEEDLEDUM  AND  TWEEDLEDEE. 


189 


"  It's  only  a  rattle,"  Alice  said,  after  a  careful  ex- 
amination of  the  little  white  thing.  "  Not  a  rattle- 
snake, you  know,"  she  added  hastily,  thinking  that  he 

was  frightened :  "  only  an  old  rattle quite  old  and 

broken." 

"  I  knew  it  was !  "  cried  Tweedledum,  beginning  to 
stamp  about  wildly  and  tear  his  hair.  "  It's  spoilt, 
of  course !  r  Here  he  looked  at  Tweedledee,  who  im- 
mediately sat  down  on  the  ground,  and  tried  to  hide 
himself  under  the  umbrella. 


Alice  laid  her  hand  upon  his  arm,  and  said  in  a 
soothing  tone,  "  You  needn't  be  so  angry  about  an 
old  rattle." 

"But  it  isn't  old!  "  Tweedledum  cried,  in  a  greater 

fury  than  ever.      "  It's  new,  I  tell  you 1  bought  it 

yesterday my  nice  new  RATTLE !  "  and  his  voice 

rose  to  a  perfect  scream. 

All  this  time  Tweedledee  was  trying  his  best  to 
fold  up  the  umbrella,  with  himself  in  it:  which  was 


190  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

such  an  extraordinary  thing  to  do,  that  it  quite  took  off 
Alice's  attention  from  the  angry  brother.  But  he 
couldn't  quite  succeed,  and  it  ended  in  his  rolling  over, 
bundled  up  in  the  umbrella,  with  only  bis  head  out: 
and  there  he  lay,  opening  and  shutting  bis  mouth  and 
his  large  eyes "  looking  more  like  a  fish  than  any- 
thing else,"  Alice  thought. 

"  Of  course  you  agree  to  have  a  battle  ? ':  Tweedle- 
dum said  in  a  calmer  tone. 

"  I  suppose  so,"  the  other  sulkily  replied,  as  he 
crawled  out  of  the  umbrella :  "  only  she  must  help  us 
to  dress  up,  you  know." 

So  the  two  brothers  went  off  hand-in-hand  into  the 
wood,  and  returned  in  a  minute  with  their  arms  full 

of    things such    as    bolsters,    blankets,    hearth-rugs, 

tableclothes,    dish-covers,    and    coal-scuttles.      "  I  hope 
you're   a   good   hand   at   pinning   and   tying  strings?' 
Tweedledum  remarked.     "  Every  one  of  these  things  has 
got  to  go  on,  somehow  or  other." 

Alice  said  afterward  she  had  never  seen  such  a  fuss 

made  about  anything  in  all  her  life the  way  those 

two  bustled  about and  the  quantity  of  tilings  they 

put  on and  the  trouble  they  gave  her  in  tying  strings 

and  fastening  buttons "  Really  they'll  be  more  like 

bundles  of  old  clothes  than  anything  else,  by  the  time 
they're  ready !  "  she  said  to  herself,  as  she  arranged  a 
bolster  round"  the  neck  of  Tweedledec,  "  to  keep  his 
head  from  being  cut  off,"  as  he  said. 

"  You  know,"  he  added  very  gravely,  "  it's  one  of 
the  most  serious  things  that  can  possibly  happen  to  one 
in  a  battle to  get  one's  head  cut  off." 

Alice  laughed  aloud:  but  she  managed  to  turn  it  into 
a  cough,  for  fear  of  hurting  his  feelings. 

"  Do  I  look  very  pale  ?  "  said  Tweedledum,  coming 
up  to  have  his  helmet  tied  on.     (He  called  it  a  helmet, 


TWEEDLEDUM  AND  TWEEDLEDEE. 


191 


though  it  certainly  looked  much  more  like  a  saucepan.) 

"  Well yes a  little"  Alice  replied,  gently. 

"  I'm  very  brave  generally,"  he  went  on  in  a  low 
voice :  "  only  to-day  I  happen  to  have  a  headache." 

"  And  I've  got  a  toothache !  "  said  Tweedledee,  who 
had  overheard  the  remark.    "  I'm  far  worse  than  you !  n 

"■  Then  you'd  better  not  fight  to-day,"  said  Alice, 
thinking  it  a  good  opportunity  to  make  peace. 

"  We  must  have  a  bit  of  a  fight,  but  I  don't  care  about 
going  on  long,"  said  Tweedledum.  "  What's  the  time 
now  ?  " 


Tweedledee  looked  at  his  watch,  and  said  "  Half- 
past  four." 

"  Let's  fight  till  six,  and  then  have  dinner,"  said 
Tweedledum. 

"  Very  well,"  the  other  said,  rather  sadly:  "  and  she 

can  watch  us only  you'd  better  not  come  very  close," 

he  added :  "  I  generally  hit  everything  I  can  see 

when  I  get  really  excited." 

"  And  /  hit  everything  within  reach,"  cried  Tweedle- 
dum, "  whether  I  ean  see  it  or  not !  " 


192  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

Alice  laughed.  "  You  must  hit  the  trees  pretty  often, 
I  should  think,"  she  said. 

Tweedledum  looked  round  him  with  a  satisfied  smile. 
"  I  don't  suppose,"  he  said,  "  there'll  be  a  tree  left 
standing,  for  ever  so  far  around,  by  the  time  we've  fin- 
ished !  " 

"  And  all  about  a  rattle !  "  said  Alice,  still  hoping  to 
make  them  a  little  ashamed  of  fighting  for  such  a  trifle. 

"  I  shouldn't  have  minded  it  so  much,"  said  Tweedle- 
dum, "  if  it  hadn't  been  a  new  one." 

"  I  wish  the  monstrous  crow  would  come !  "  thought 
Alice. 

"  There's  only  one  sword,  you  know,"  Tweedledum 

said  to  his  brother :  "  but  you  can  have  the  umbrella ■ 

it's  quite  as  sharp.  Only  we  must  begin  quick.  It's 
getting  as  dark  as  it  can." 

"  And  darker,"  said  Tweedledee. 

It  was  getting,  dark  so  suddenly  that  Alice  thought 
there  must  be  a  thunderstorm  coming  on.  "  What  a 
thick  black  cloud  that  is!  "  she  said.  "  And  how  fast 
it  comes !    Why,  I  do  believe  it's  got  wings !  " 

"  It's  the  crow !  '  Tweedledum  cried  out  in  a  shrill 
voice  of  alarm :  and  the  two  brothers  took  to  their  heels 
and  were  out  of  sight  in  a  moment. 

Alice  ran  a  little  way  into  the  wood,  and  stopped 
under  a  large  tree.  "  It  can  never  get  at  me  here,"  she 
thought :  "  it's  far  too  large  to  squeeze  itself  in  among 

the  trees.     But  I  wish  it  wouldn't  flap  its  wings  so 

it  makes  quite  a  hurricane  in  the  wood here's  some- 
body's shawl  being  blown  away !  " 


CHAPTER  V. 


WOOL  AND  WATER. 


She  caught  the  shawl  as  she  spoke,  and  looked  about 
for  the  owner:  in  another  moment  the  White  Queen 
came  running  wildly  through  the  wood,  with  both  arms 
stretched  out  wide,  as  if  she- were  flying,  and  Alice  very 
civilly  went  to  meet  her  with  the  shawl. 

"  I'm  very  glad  I  happened  to  be  in  the  way,"  Alice 
said,  as  she  helped  her  to  put  on  her  shawl  again. 

The  White  Queen  only  looked  at  her  in  a  helpless 
frightened  sort  of  way,  and  kept  repeating  something  in 
a  whisper  to  herself  that  sounded  like  "  Bread-and  but- 
ter, bread-and-butter,"  and  Alice  felt  that  if  there  was 
to  be  any  conversation  at  all,  she  must  manage  it  herself. 
So  she  began  timidly :  "  Am  I  addressing  the  White 
Queen  ?  " 

"  Well,  yes,  if  you  call  that  a-dressing,"  the  Queen 
said.     "  It  isn't  my  notion  of  the  thing,  at  all." 

Alice  thought  it  would  never  do  to  have  an  argument 
at  the  very  beginning  of  their  conversation,  so  she 
smiled  and  said,  "  If  your  Majesty  will  only  tell  me 
the  right  way  to  begin,  I'll  do  it  as  well  as  I  can." 

"  But  I  don't  want  it  done  at  all !  "  groaned  the  poor 
Queen.  "  I've  been  a-dressing  myself  for  the  last  two 
hours." 

It  would  have  been  all  the  better,  as  it  seemed  to 

Alice,  if  she  had  got  some  one  else  to  dress  her,  she  was 

so  dreadfully  untidy.     "  Every  single  thing's  crooked," 

Alice  thought  to  herself,  "  and  she's  all  over  pins ! — 

13  193 


194 


THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 


May  I  put  your  shawl  straight  for  you  ?  "  she  added 
aloud. 

"  I  don't  know  what's  the  matter  with  it !  "  the  Queen 
said  in  a  melancholy  voice.  "  It's  out  of  temper,  I 
think.  I've  pinned  it  here,  and  I've  pinned  it  there, 
but  there's  no  pleasing  it !  " 

"It  can't  go 
straight,  you 
know,  if  you  pin 
it  all  on  one  side," 
Alice  said,  as  she 
gently  put  it  right 
for  her;  "and, 
dear  me,  what  a 
state  your  hair  is 
in!  " 

"  The  brush  has 
got  entangled  in 
it !  "  the  Queen 
said    with   a  sigh. 


"And  I  lost  the 
comb  yesterday. ' ' 
Alice  carefully 
released  the  brush, 
and  did  her  best  to  get  the  hair  into  order.  "  Come, 
you  look  rather  better  now!  "  she  said,  after  altering 
most  of  the  pins.  "But  really  you  should  have  a 
lad v's- maid!  " 

%j 

"  I'm  sure  I'll  take  you  with  pleasure !  "  the  Queen 
said.     "  Twopence  a  week,  and  jam  every  other  day." 

Alice  couldn't  help  laughing,  as  she  said,  "  I  don't 
want  vou  to  hire  mc — and  I  don't  care  for  jam." 

"  It's  very  good  jam,"  said  the  Queen. 


WOOL  AND  WATER.  195 

"  Well,  I  don't  want  any  to-day,  at  any  rate." 

"  You  couldn't  have  it  if  you  did  want  it,"  the 
Queen  said.  "  The  rule  is,  jam  to-morrow  and  jam  yes- 
terday  but  never  jam  to-day." 

"  It  must  come  sometimes  to  '  jam  to-day,'  "  Alice 
objected. 

"  No,  it  can't,"  said  the  Queen.  "  It's  jam  every 
other  day:  to-day  isn't  any  other  day,  you  know." 

"  I  don't  understand  you,"  said  Alice.  "  It's  dread- 
fully confusing !  " 

"  That's  the  effect  of  living  backwards,"  the  Queen 
said  kindly :  "  it  always  makes  one  a  little  giddy  at 
first " 

"  Living  backwards !  "  Alice  repeated  in  great  as- 
tonishment.    "  I  never  heard  of  such  a  thing !  " 

" but  there's  one  great  advantage  in  it,  that  one's 

memory  works  both  ways." 

"  I'm  sure  mine  only  works  one  way,"  Alice  re- 
marked. "  I  can't  remember  things  before  they  happen." 

"  It's  a  poor  sort  of  memory  that  only  works  back- 
wards," the  Queen  remarked. 

"  What  sort  of  things  do  you  remember  best  ?  "  Alice 
ventured  to  ask. 

"  Oh,  things  that  happened  the  week  after  next,"  the 
Queen  replied  in  a  careless  tone.  "  For  instance,  now," 
she  went  on,  sticking  a  large  piece  of  plaster  on  her 
finger  as  she  spoke,  "  there's  the  King's  Messenger. 
He's  in  prison  now,  being  punished :  and  the  trial 
doesn't  even  begin  till  next  Wednesday:  and  of  course 
the  crime  comes  last  of  all." 

"  Suppose  he  never  commits  the  crime  ? ':  said 
Alice. 

"  That  would  be  all  the  better,  wouldn't  it  ?  "  the 
Queen  said,  as  she  bound  the  plaster  round  her  finger 
with  a  bit  of  ribbon. 


106 


THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 


Alice  felt  there  was 
no  denying  that.  "Of 
course  it  would  be  all 
the  better,"  she  said: 
"but  it  wouldn't  be 
all  the  better  his  being 
punished." 

"You're  wrong 
tlbere,  at  any  rate," 
said  the  Queen  :  ' '  were 
you  ever  punished?  " 
"  Only  for  faults," 
said  Alice. 

"  And  you  were  all 
the    better   for    it,    I 
know  !  "     the    Queen 
said  triumphantly. 

' '  Yes,  but  then  I  had  done  the  things  I  was  pun- 
ished for,"  said  Alice:  "  that  makes  all  the  differ- 
ence. ' ' 

"  But  if  you  hadn't  done  them,"  the  Queen  said, 
"  that  would  have  been  better  still ;  better,  and  better, 
and  better !  '  Her  voice  went  higher  with  each  "  bet- 
ter," till  it  got  quite  to  a  squeak  at  last. 

Alice  was  just  beginning  to  say  "  There's  a  mistake 

somewhere ,"  when  the  Queen  began  screaming,  so 

loud  that  she  had  to  leave  the  sentence  unfinished.  "  Oh, 
oh,  oh !  "  shouted  the  Queen ;  shaking  her  hand  about 
as  if  she  wanted  to  shake  it  off.  "  My  finger's  bleed- 
ing !     Oh,  oh,  oh,  oh  !  " 

Her  screams  were  so  exactly  like  the  whistle  of  a 
steam-engine,  that  Alice  had  to  hold  both  her  hands 
over  her  ears. 


WOOL  AND  WATER.  197 

"  What  is  the  matter  ? "  she  said,  as  soon  as  there 
was  a  chance  of  making  herself  heard.  "  Have  you 
pricked  your  finger  ?  " 

"  I  haven't  pricked  it  yet,"  the  Queen  said,  "  but  I 
soon  shall oh,  oh,  oh  !  " 

"  When  do  you  expect  to  do  it  ?  "  Alice  asked,  feeling 
Very  much  inclined  to  laugh. 

"  When  I  fasten  my  shawl  again,"  the  poor  Queen 
groaned  out :  u  the  brooch  will  come  undone  directly. 
Oh,  oh !  "  As  she  said  the  words  the  brooch  flew  open, 
and  the  Queen  clutched  wildly  at  it,  and  tried  to  clasp 
it  again. 

"  Take  care !  "  cried  Alice.  "  You're  holding  it  all 
crooked !  "  And  she  caught  at  the  brooch ;  but  it  was 
too  late :  the  pin  had  slipped,  and  the  Queen  had  prickegL 
her  finger. 

"  That  accounts  for  the  bleeding,  you  see,"  she  said 
to  Alice  with  a  smile.  "  Now  you  understand  the  way 
things  happen  here." 

"  But  why  don't  you  scream  now  ? "  Alice  asked, 
holding  her  hands  ready  to  put  over  her  ears  again. 

"  Why,  I've  done  all  the  screaming  already,"  said 
the  Queen.     "  What  would  be  the  good  of  having  it  all 


over  again 


By  this  time  it  was  getting  light.  "  The  crow  must 
have  flown  away,  I  think,"  said  Alice :  "  I'm  so  glad 
it's  gone.     I  thought  it  was  the  night  coming  on." 

"  I  wish  I  could  manage  to  be  glad  !  "  the  Queen  said. 
"  Only  I  never  can  remember  the  rule.  You  must  be 
very  happy,  living  in  this  wood,  and  being  glad  when- 
ever you  like !  " 

"  Only  it  is  so  very  lonely  here !  "  Alice  said,  in  a 
melancholy  voice;  and  at  the  thought  of  her  loneliness 
two  large  tears  came  rolling  down  her  cheeks. 

"  Oh,  don't  go  on  like  that !  "  cried  the  poor  Queen, 


198  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

wringing  her  hands  in  despair.  "  Consider  what  a  great 
girl  you  are.  Consider  what  a  long  way  you've  come  to- 
day. Consider  what  o'clock  it  is.  Consider  anything, 
only  don't  cry  !  " 

Alice  could  not  help  laughing  at  this,  even  in  the 
midst  of  her  tears.  "  Can  you  keep  from  crying  by 
considering  things  ?  "  she  asked. 

"  That's  the  way  it's  done,"  the  Queen  said  with 
great  decision ;  "  nobody  can  do  two  things  at  once,  you 
know.  Let's  consider  your  age  to  begin  with — how 
old  are  you  ?  " 

"  I'm  seven  and  a  half  exactly." 

"  You  needn't  say  '  exactnally,'  the  Queen  re- 
marked :  "  I  can  believe  it  without  that.  Xow  I'll  give 
you  something  to  believe.  I'm  just  one  hundred  and 
one,  rive  months  and  a  day." 

"I  can't  believe  that!'''  said  Alice. 

"  Can't  you  I  '  the  Queen  said  in  a  pitying  tone. 
"  Try  again :  draw  a  long  breath,  and  shut  your 
eyes." 

Alice  laughed.  "  There's  no  use  trying,"  she  said : 
"  one  can't  believe  impossible  things." 

"  I  dare  say  you  haven't  had  much  practice,"  said 
the  Queen.  "  When  I  was  your  ac;e,  I  alwavs  did  it 
for  half  an  hour  a  day.  Why,  sometimes  I've  believed 
as  many  as  six  impossible  things  before  breakfast.  There 
goes  the  shawl  again !  " 

The  brooch  had  come  undone  as  she  spoke,  and  a  sud- 
den gust  of  wind  blew  the  Queen's  shawl  across  a  little 
brook.  The  Queen  spread  out  her  arms  again,  and 
went  flying  after  it,  and  this  time  she  succeeded  in 
catching  it  for  herself.  "  I've  got  it !  "  she  cried  in  a 
triumphant  tone.  "  Xow  you  shall  see  me  pin  it  on 
again,  all  by  myself  !  " 

"  Then  I  hope  your  finger  is  better  now?  "  Alice  said 


WOOL  AND  WATER.  199 

very  politely,  as  she  crossed  the  little  brook  after  the 
Queen. 

*  *  *  *  * 

*  *  *  * 

"  Oh,  much  better !  "  cried  the  Queen,  her  voice  ris- 
ing into  a  squeak  as  she  went  on.  "  Much  be-etter ! 
Be-etter  !  Be-e-e-etter !  Be-e-ehh  !  "  The  last  word  ended 
in  a  long  bleat,  so  like  a  sheep  that  Alice  quite  started. 

She  looked  at  the  Queen,  who  seemed  to  have  sud- 
denly wrapped  herself  up  in  wooL  Alice  rubbed  her 
eyes,  and  looked  again.  She  couldn't  make  out  what 
had  happened  at  all.    Was  she  in  a  shop  ?    And  was  that 

really was  it  really  a  sheep  that  was  sitting  on  the 

other  side  of  the  counter  ?  Rub  as  she  would,  she  could 
make  nothing  more  of  it :  she  was  in  a  little  dark  shop, 
leaning  with  her  elbows  on  the  counter,  and  opposite 
to  her  was  an  old  Sheep,  sitting  in  an  arm-chair  knit- 
ting, and  every  now  and  then  leaving  off  to  look  at  her 
through  a  great  pair  of  spectacles. 

"  What  is  it  you  want  to  buy  ?  "  the  Sheep  said  at 
last,  looking  up  for  a  moment  from  her  knitting. 

I  don't  quite  know  yet,"  Alice  said  very  gently. 
I  should  like  to  look  all  around  me  first,  if  I  might." 

"  You  may  look  in  front  of  you,  and  on  both  sides,  if 
you  like,"  said  the  Sheep ;  "  but  you  can't  look  all  round 
you unless  you've  got  eyes  at  the  back  of  your  head." 

But  these,  as  it  happened,  Alice  had  not  got :  so  she 
contented  herself  with  turning  round,  looking  at  the 
shelves  as  she  came  to  them. 

The  shop  seemed  to  be  full  of  all  manner  of  curious 
things but  the  oddest  part  of  it  all  was,  that  when- 
ever she  looked  hard  at  any  shelf,  to  make  out  exactly 


a 


200 


THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 


what  it  bad  on  it,  that  particular  shelf  was  always  quite 
empty :  though  the  others  round  it  were  crowded  as  full 
as  they  could  hold. 

"  Things  flow  about  so  here!  "  she  said  at  last  in  a 
plaintive  tone,  after  she  had  spent  a  minute  or  so  in 
vainly  pursuing  a  large  bright  thing,  that  looked  some- 


dir 

mm 


times  like  a  doll  and  sometimes  like  a  work-box,  and 
was  always  in  the  shelf  next  above  the  one  she  was  look- 
ing at.     "  And  this  one  is  the  most  provoking  of  all 

but  I'll  tell  you  what "  she  added,   as   a  sudden 

thought  struck  her,  "  I'll  follow  it  up  to  the  very  top 
shelf  of  all.  It'll  puzzle  it  to  go  through  the  ceiling,  I 
expect !  " 


WOOL  AND  WATER.  201 

But  even  this  plan  failed :  the  "  thing  "  went  through 
the  ceiling  as  quietly  as  possible,  as  if  it  were  quite  used 
to  it. 

"  Are  you  a  child  or  a  teetotum  %  "  the  Sheep  said, 
as  she  took  up  another  pair  of  needles.  "  You'll  make 
me  giddy  soon,  if  you  go  on  turning  round  like  that." 
She  was  now  working  with  fourteen  pairs  at  once,  and 
Alice  couldn't  help  looking  at  her  in  great  astonishment. 

"  How  can  she  knit  with  so  many  %  "  the  puzzled  child 
thought  to  herself.  "  She  gets  more  and  more  like  a 
porcupine  every  minute  !  " 

"  Can  you  row  %  "  the  Sheep  asked,  handing  her  a 
pair  of  knitting-needles  as  she  spoke. 

"  Yes,  a  little but  not  on  land and  not  with 

needles "  Alice  was  beginning  to  say,  when  sud- 
denly the  needles  turned  into  oars  in  her  hands,  and 
she  found  they  were  in  a  little  boat,  gliding  along  be- 
tween banks :  so  there  was  nothing  for  it  but  to  do  her 
best. 

"  Feather !  "  cried  the  Sheep,  as  she  took  up  another 
pair  of  needles. 

This  didn't  sound  like  a  remark  that  needed  any 
answer,  so  Alice  said  nothing,  but  pulled  away.  There 
was  something  very  queer  about  the  water,  she  thought, 
as  every  now  and  then  the  oars  got  fast  in  it,  and 
would  hardly  come  out  again. 

"  Feather !  Feather !  "  the  Sheep  cried  again,  taking 
more  needles.     "  You'll  be  catching  a  crab  directly." 

"  A  dear  little  crab !  "  thought  Alice.  "  I  should 
like  that." 

"  Didn't  you  hear  me  say  '  Feather  '  ?  "  the  Sheep 
cried  angrily,  taking  up  quite  a  bunch  of  needles. 

"  Indeed  I  did,"  said  Alice :  "  you've  said  it  very 
often and  very  loud.    Please,  where  are  the  crabs  ?  " 

"  In  the  water,  of  course !  "  said  the  Sheep,  sticking 


202  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

some  of  the  needles  into  her  hair,  as  her  hands  "were 
full.     "  Feather,  I  say  !  " 

"  Why  do  you  say  '  Feather '  so  often  ? ':  Alice 
asked  at  last,  rather  vexed.      "  I'm  not  a  bird !  " 

"  You  are,"  said  the  Sheep :  "  you're  a  little  goose." 

This  offended  Alice  a  little,  so  there  was  no  more 
conversation  for  a  minute  or  two,  while  the  boat  glided 
gently  on,  sometimes  among  beds  of  weeds  (which  made 
the  oars  stick  fast  in  the  water,  worse  than  ever),  and 
sometimes  under  trees,  but  always  with  the  same  tall 
river-banks  frowning  over  their  heads. 

"  Oh,  please  !  There  are  some  scented  rushes !  "  Alice 
cried  in  a  sudden  transport  of  delight.  "  There  really 
are and  such  beauties  !  " 

"  You  needn't  say  "  please  '  to  me  about  'em,"  the 
Sheep  said,  without  looking  up  from  her  knitting :  "  I 
didn't  put  'em  there,  and  I'm  not  going  to  take  'em 
away." 

"  Xo,  but  I  meant please,  may  we  wait  and  pick 

some  ?  "  Alice  pleaded.  "  If  you  don't  mind  stopping 
the  boat  for  a  minute." 

"  How  am  I  to  stop  it  ?  "  said  the  Sheep.  "  If  you 
leave  off  rowing,  it'll  stop  of  itself." 

So  the  boat  was  left  to  drift  down  the  stream  as  it 
would,  till  it  glided  gently  in  among  the  waving  rushes. 
And  then  the  little  sleeves  were  carefully  rolled  up, 
and  the  little  arms  were  plunged  in  elbow-deep,  to  get 
hold  of  the  rushes  a  good  long  wav  down  before  breaking 

them  off and  for  a  while  Alice  forgot  all  about  the 

Sheep,  and  the  knitting,  as  she  bent  over  the  side  of  the 
boat,  with  just  the  ends  of  her  tangled  hair  dipping 

into  the  water while  with   bright,   eager  eves  she 

caught  at  one  bunch  after  another  of  the  darling  scented 
rushes. 

"  I  only  hope  the  boat  won't  tipple  over !  "  she  said 


WOOL  AND  WATER.  203 

to  herself.  "  Oh,  what  a  lovely  one !  Only  I  couldn't 
quite  reach  it."  And  it  certainly  did  seem  a  little  pro- 
voking ("  almost  as  if  it  happened  on  purpose,"  she 
thought)  that,  though  she  managed  to  pick  plenty  of 
beautiful  rushes  as  the  boat  glided  by,  there  was  always 
a  more  lovely  one  that  she  couldn't  reach. 

"  The  prettiest  are  always  further !  "  she  said  at  last, 
with  a  sigh  at  the  obstinacy  of  the  rushes  in  growing  so 
far  off,  as,  with  flushed  cheeks  and  dripping  hair  and 
hands,  she  scrambled  back  into  her  place,  and  began 
to  arrange  her  new-found  treasures. 

What  mattered  it  to  her  just  then  that  the  rushes  had 
begun  to  fade,  and  to  lose  all  their  scent  and  beauty, 
from  the  very  moment  that  she  picked  them  ?  Even  real 
scented  rushes,  you  know,  last  only  a  very  little  while 

and  these,  being  dream-rushes,  melted  away  almost 

like  snow,  as  they  lay  in  heaps  at  her  feet but  Alice 

hardly  noticed  this,  there  were  so  many  other  curious 
things  to  think  about. 

They  hadn't  gone  much  farther  before  the  blade  of 
one  of  the  oars  got  fast  in  the  water  and  wouldn't  come 
out  again  (so  Alice  explained  it  afterward),  and  the 
consequence  was  that  the  handle  of  it  caught  her  under 
the  chin,  and,  in  spite  of  a  series  of  little  shrieks  of 
"  Oh,  oh,  oh !  "  from  poor  Alice,  it  swept  her  straight 
off  the  seat,  an'd  down  among  the  heap  of  rushes. 

However  she  wasn't  a  bit  hurt,  and  was  soon  up 
again :  the  Sheep  went  on  with  her  knitting  all  the 
while,  just  as  if  nothing  had  happened.  "  That  was 
a  nice  crab  you  caught !  "  she  remarked,  as  Alice  got 
back  into  her  place,  very  much  relieved  to  find  herself 
still  in  the  boat. 

"  Was  it?  I  didn't  see  it,"  said  Alice,  peeping  cau- 
tiously over  the  side  of  the  boat  into  the  dark  water. 
"  I  wish  it  hadn't  let  go 1  should  so  like  a  little  crab 


204: 


THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-HOUSE. 


to  take  home  with  me !  ':  But  the  Sheep  only  laughed 
scornfully,  and  went  on  with  her  knitting. 

"  Are  there  many  crabs  here  (  "  said  Alice. 

"  Crabs,  and  all  sorts  of  things,"  said  the  Sheep: 
"  plenty  of  choice,  only  make  up  your  mind.  Now, 
what  do  you  want  to  buv  '  ' 


&7Z 


v.-ji£y^r^^—     .  '-^m  -^j*" 


"  To  buy !  "  Alice  echoed  in  a  tone  that  was  half  as- 
tonished and  half  frightened for  the  oars,  and  the 

boat,  and  the  river,  had  vanished  all  in  a  moment,  and 
she  was  back  again  in  the  little  dark  shop. 

"  I  should  like  to  buy  an  egg,  please,"  she  said  tim- 
idly.    "  How  do  you  sell  them  ?  " 


WOOL  AND  WATER.  205 


u 


Fivepence  farthing  for  one twopence  for  two," 

the  Sheep  replied. 

"  Then  two  are  cheaper  than  one  ?  "  Alice  said  in  a 
surprised  tone,  taking  out  her  purse. 

"  Only  you  must  eat  them  both,  if  you  buy  two," 
said  the  Sheep. 

"  Then  I'll  have  one,  please,"  said  Alice,  as  she  put 
the  money  down  on  the  counter.  For  she  thought  to 
herself,  "  They  mightn't  be  at  all  nice,  you  know." 

The  Sheep  took  the  money,  and  put  it  away  in  a 
box :  then  she  said,  "  I  never  put  things  into  people's 

hands that  would  never  do you  must  get  it  for 

yourself."    And  so  saying,  she  went  off  to  the  other  end 
of  the  shop,  and  set  the  egg  upright  on  a  shelf. 

"  I  Avonder  why  it  wouldn't  do  ?  "  thought  Alice,  as 
she  groped  her  way  among  the  tables  and  chairs,  for  the 
shop  was  very  dark  toward  the  end.  "  The  egg  seems 
to  get  further  away  the  more  I  walk  toward  it.  Let 
me  see,  is  this  a  chair.  Why,  it's  got  branches,  I  de- 
clare !  How  very  odd  to  find  trees  growing  here !  And 
actually  here's  a  little  brook !  Well,  this  is  the  very 
queerest  shop  I  ever  saw !  " 

***** 
*  #  *  * 

***** 

So  she  went  on,  wondering  more  and  more  at  every 
step,  as  everything  turned  into  a  tree  the  moment  she 
came  up  to  it,  and  she  quite  expected  the  egg  to  do  the 
same. 


CHAPTER  VI. 


HUMPTY  DUMPTY. 


However,  the  egg  only  got  larger  and  larger,  and 
more  and  more  human :  when  she  had  come  within  a 
few  yards  of  it,  she  saw  that  it  had  eyes  and  a  nose  and 
mouth ;  and  when  she  had  come  close  to  it,  she  saw 
clearly  that  it  was  HUMPTY  DUMPTY  himself.  "  It 
can't  be  anybody  else !  "  she  said  to  herself.  "  I'm  as 
certain  of  it,  as  if  his  name  were  written  all  over  his 
face !  " 

It  might  have  been  written  a  hundred  times,  easily, 
on  that  enormous  face.  Humpty  Dumpty  was  sitting 
with  his  legs  crossed,  like  a  Turk,  on  the  top  of  a  high 

wall such  a  narrow  one  that  Alice  quite  wondered 

how  he  could  keep  his  balance and,  as  his  eyes  were 

steadily  fixed  in  the  opposite  direction,  and  he  didn't 
take  the  least  notice  of  her,  she  thought  he  must  be  a 
stuffed  figure  after  all. 

"  And  how  exactly  like  an  egg  he  is !  "  she  said  aloud, 
standing  with  her  hands  ready  to  catch  him,  for  she 
was  every  moment  expecting  him  to  fall. 

"  It's  very  provoking,"  Humpty  Dumpty  said  after 
a  long  silence,  looking  aAvay  from  Alice  as  he  spoke,  "  to 
be  called  an  egg very!  " 

"  I  said  you  looked  like  an  egg,  Sir,"  Alice  gently 
explained.  "  And  some  eggs  are  very  pretty,  you 
know,"  she  added,  hoping  to  turn  her  remark  into  a  sort 
of  compliment. 

"  Some  people,"  said  Humpty  Dumpty,  looking  away 
from  her  as  usual,  "  have  no  more  sense  than  a  baby !  " 


HUMPTY  DUMPTY.  207 

Alice  didn't  know  what  to  say  to  this:  it  wasn't  at 
all  like  conversation,  she  thought,  as  he  never  said 
anything  to  her;  in  fact,  his  last  remark  was  evidently 

addressed  to  a  tree so  she  stood  and  softly  repeated 

to  herself: — 

"  Humpty  Dumpty  sat  on  a  wall: 
Humpty  Dumpty  had  a  great  fall. 
All  the  King's  horses  and  all  the  King's  men 
Couldn't  put  Humpty  Dumpty  in  his  place  again." 


a 


That  last  line  is  much  too  long  for  the  poetry,"  she 
added,  almost  out  loud,  forgetting  that  Humpty  Dumpty 
would  hear  her. 

"  Don't  stand  chattering  to  yourself  like  that," 
Humpty  Dumpty  said,  looking  at  her  for  the  first  time, 
"  but  tell  me  your  name  and  your  business." 

"  My  name  is  Alice,  but " 

"  It's  a  stupid  name  enough !  "  Humpty  Dumpty 
interrupted,  impatiently.  "  What  does  it  mean  ?  " 

'  Must  a  name  mean  something  ? "  Alice  asked, 
doubtfully. 

"  Of  course  it  must,"  Humpty  Dumpty  said,  with  a 

short  laugh :  "  my  name  means  the  shape  I  am and 

a  good,  handsome  shape  it  is,  too.  With  a  name  like 
yours,  you  might  be  any  shape,    almost." 

"  Why  do  you  sit  out  here  all  alone  ?  "  said  Alice, 
not  wishing  to  begin  an  argument. 

"  Why,  because  there's  nobody  with  me !  '  cried 
Humpty  Dumpty.  "  Did  you  think  I  didn't  know  the 
answer  to  that?    Ask  another." 

"  Don't  you  think  you'd  be  safer  down  on  the 
ground  ?  "  Alice  went  on,  not  with  any  idea  of  making 
another  riddle,  but  simply  in  her  good-natured  anxiety 
for  the  queer  creature.    "  That  wall  is  so  very  narrow !  " 

"  What  tremendously  easy  riddles  you  ask !  "  Humpty 


208  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

Dumpty  growled  out.     "Of  course  I  don't  think  so! 

Why,  if  ever  I  did  fall  off which  there's  no  chance 

of hut  if  I  did "     Here  he  pursed  up  his  lips, 

and  looked  so  solemn  and  grand  that  Alice  could  hardlv 
help  laughing.     "  If  I  did  fall,"  he  went  on,  "  tJie  King 

has  promised   me all,   you  may  turn   pale,   if  you 

like !     You  didn't  think  I  was  going  to  say  that,  did 

you?     The  King  has  promised  me with  his  very 

own  mouth to to " 

"  To  send  all  his  horses  and  all  his  men,"  Alice  in- 
terrupted, rather  unwisely. 

"  Xow  I  declare  that's  too  had !  "  Humpty  Dumpty 
cried,  breaking  into  a  sudden  passion.     "  You've  been 

listening   at  doors and  behind  trees and   down 

chimneys— — or  you  couldn't  have  known  it !  ' 

"  I  haven't,  indeed!  "  Alice  said,  very  gently.  "  It's 
in  a  book." 

"  Ah,  well !  They  may  write  such  things  in  a  book/' 
Humpty  Dumpty  said,  in  a  calmer  tone.  "  That's  what 
you  call  a  History  of  England,  that  is.     Xow,  take  a 

%J  «.'  O  7  7 

good  look  at  me !  I'm  one  that  has  spoken  to  a  King,  / 
am :  mayhap  you'll  never  see  such  another :  and  to  show 
you  I'm  not  proud,  you  may  shake  hands  with  me!  ' 
And  he  grinned  almost  from  ear  to  ear,  as  he  leaned 
forward  (and  as  nearly  as  possible  fell  off  the  wall  in 
doing  so)  and  offered  Alice  his  hand.  She  watched 
him  a  little  anxiously  as  she  took  it.  "  If  he  smiled 
much  more,  the  ends  of  his  mouth  might  meet  behind," 
she  thought;  "  and  then  I  don't  know  what  would  hap- 
pen to  his  head !     I'm  afraid  it  would  come  off !  ' 

"  Yes,  all  his  horses  and  all  his  men,"  Humpty 
Dumpty  went  on.  "  They'd  pick  me  up  again  in  a 
minute,  they  would !  However,  this  conversation  is  go- 
ing on  a  little  too  fast;  let's  go  back  to  the  last  remark 
but  one." 


HUMPTY  DUMPTY. 


209 


"I'm  afraid  I  can't 
quite  remember  it,  "Alice 
said,  very  politely. 

' '  In  that  case  we  start 
fresh,"  said  Humpty 
Dumpty,  "and  it's  my 
turn  to  choose  a  subject 

"  ("He  talks  about 

it  just  as  if  it  was  a  game!"  thought  Alice.)  So 
here's  a  question  for  you.  How  old  did  you  say  you 
were  ? ' ' 

Alice  made  a   short  calculation,   and  said,   "  Seven 
years  and  six  months." 

"  Wrong !  "     Humpty    Dumpty    exclaimed,    trium- 
phantly.    "  You  never  said  a  word  like  it !  " 

"  I  thought  you  meant  l  How  old  are  you  ? '  "  Alice 
explained. 

"  If  I'd  meant  that,  I'd  have  said  it,"  said  Humpty 
Dumpty. 

Alice  didn't  want  to  begin  another  argument,  so  she 
said  nothing. 

"  Seven  years  and  six  months !  "  Humpty  Dumpty 
14 


210  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

repeated,  thoughtfully.  "  An  uncomfortable  sort  of 
age.  Now  if  you'd  ask  my  advice,  I'd  have  said,  '  Leave 
off  at  seven  ' — but  it's  too  late  now." 

"  I  never  ask  advice  about  growing,"  Alice  said,  in- 
dignantlv. 

"  Too  proud  %  "  the  other  inquired. 

Alice  felt  even  more  indignant  at  this  suggestion.  "  I 
mean,"  she  said,  "  that  one  can't  help  growing  older." 

"  One  can't,  perhaps,"  said  Humpty  Dumpty,  "  but 
two  can.  With  proper  assistance,  you  might  have  left 
off  at  seven." 

"  What  a  beautiful  belt  you've  got  on !  "  Alice  sud- 
denly remarked.  (They  had  had  quite  enough  of  the 
subject  of  age,  she  thought :  and  if  they  really  were  to 
take  turns  in  choosing  subjects,  it  was  her  turn  now.) 
"  At  least,"  she  corrected  herself  on  second  thoughts, 

"  a  beautiful  cravat,  I  should  have  said no,  a  belt,  I 

mean 1  beg  your  pardon !  "  she  added,  in  dismay, 

for  Humpty  Dumpty  looked  thoroughly  offended,  and 
she  began  to  wish  she  hadn't  chosen  that  subject.  "  If 
only  I  knew,"  she  thought  to  herself,  "  which  was  neck 
and  which  was  waist !  " 

Evidently  Humpty  Dumpty  was  very  angry,  though 
he  said  nothing  for  a  minute  or  two.  When  he  did 
speak,  it  was  in  a  deep  growl. 

"  It  is  a most provoking thing,"  he  said 

at  last,  "  when  a  person  doesn't  know  a  cravat  from  a 
belt!" 

"  I  know  it's  very  ignorant  of  me,"  Alice  said,  in  so 
humble  a  tone  that  Humpty  Dumpty  relented. 

"  It's  a  cravat,  child,  and  a  beautiful  one,  as  you 
say.  It's  a  present  from  the  White  King  and  Queen. 
There  now !  " 

"  Is  it  really  ?  "  said  Alice,  quite  pleased  to  find  that 
she  had  chosen  a  good  subject,  after  all. 


HUMPTY  DUMPTY.  211 

"  They  gave  it  me,"  Humpty  Dumpty  continued, 
thoughtfully,  as  he  crossed  one  knee  over  the  other  and 
clasped  his  hands  round  it,  "  they  gave  it  me — for  an 
un-birthday  present." 

"  I  beg  your  pardon  ?  "  Alice  said,  with  a  puzzled 
air. 

"  I'm  not  offended,"  said  Humpty  Dumpty. 

"  I  mean,  what  is  an  un-birthday  present  ?  ': 

"  A  present  given  when  it  isn't  your  birthday,  of 
course." 

Alice  considered  a  little.  "  I  like  birthday  presents 
best,"  she  said,  at  last. 

"  You    don't    know    what    you're    talking    about !  ' 
cried  Humpty  Dumpty.      "  How  many  days  are  there 
in  a  year  ?  " 

"  Three  hundred  and  sixty-five,"  said  Alice. 

"  And  how  many  birthdays  have  you  %  " 

"One." 

"  And  if  you  take  one  from  three  hundred  and  sixty- 
five,  what  remains  ?  " 

"  Three  hundred  and  sixty-four,  of  course." 

Humpty  Dumpty  looked  doubtful.  "  I'd  rather  see 
that  done  on  paper,"  he  said. 

Alice  couldn't  help  smiling  as  she  took  out  her  memo- 
randum book,  and  worked  the  sum  for  him : 

365 
1 


364 


Humpty  Dumpty  took  the  book,  and  looked  at  it 
carefully.  "  That  seems  to  be  done  right "  he  be- 
gan. 

"  You're  holding  it  upside  down  !  "  Alice  interrupted. 

"  To  be  sure  I  was  !  "  Humpty  Dumpty  said,  gaily,  as 


212  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

she  turned  it  round  for  him.  "  I  thought  it  looked  a 
little  queer.  As  I  was  saying,  that  seems  to  be  done 
right though  I  haven't  time  to  look  it  over  thorough- 
ly just  now and  that  shows  that  there  are  three  hun- 
dred and  sixty-four  days  when  you  might  get  un-birth- 
day  presents " 

"  Certainly/'  said  Alice. 

"  And  only  one  for  birthday  presents,  you  know. 
There's  glory  for  you !  " 

"I  don't  know  what. you  mean  by  'glory,'"  Alice 
said. 

Humpty  Dumpty  smiled  contemptuously.  "  Of 
course  you  don't — till  I  tell  you.  I  meant  '  there's  a 
nice  knock-down  argument  for  you  !  '  " 

"  But  '  glory  '  doesn't  mean  '  a  nice  knock-down  ar- 
gument,' "  Alice  objected. 

"  When  I  use  a  word,"  Humpty  Dumpty  said,  in 
rather  a  scornful  tone,  "  it  means  just  what  I  choose  it 
to  mean neither  more  nor  less." 

"  The  question  is,"  said  Alice,  "  whether  you  can 
make  words  mean  so  many  different  things." 

"  The  question  is,"  said  Humpty  Dumpty,  "  which 
is  to  be  master that's  all." 

Alice  was  too  much  puzzled  to  say  anything,  so 
after  a  minute  Humpty  Dumpty  began  again.   "  They've 

a  temper,  some  of  them particularly  verbs,  they're 

the  proudest adjectives  you  can  do  anything  with, 

but  not  verbs however,  /  can  manage  the  whole  lot 

of  them  !     Impenetrability  !     That's  what  /  say !  ' 

"  Would  you  tell  me,  please,"  said  Alice,  "  what  that 


means 

«  AT 


?  » 


Now  you  talk  like  a  reasonable  child,"  said  Humpty 
Dumpty,  looking  very  much  pleased.  "  I  meant  by 
i  impenetrability '  that  we've  had  enough  of  that  sub- 
ject, and  it  would  be  just  as  well  if  you'd  mention  what 


HUMPTY  DUMPTY.  213 

you  mean  to  do  next,  as  I  suppose  you  don't  mean  to 
stop  here  all  the  rest  of  your  life." 

"  That's  a  great  deal  to  make  one  word  mean,"  Alice 
said,  in  a  thoughtful  tone. 

"  When  I  make  a  word  do  a  lot  of  work  like  that," 
said  Humpty  Dumpty,  "  I  always  pay  it  extra." 

"  Oh !  "  said  Alice.  She  was  too  much  puzzled  to 
make  any  other  remark. 

"  Ah,  you  should  see  'em  come  round  me  of  a  Sat- 
urday night,"  Humpty  Dumpty  went  on,  wagging  his 
head  gravely  from  side  to  side :  "  for  to  get  their  wages, 
you  know." 

(Alice  didn't  venture  to  ask  what  he  paid  them  with  ; 
and  so  you  see  I  can't  tell  you.) 

"  You  seem  very  clever  at  explaining  words,  Sir," 
said  Alice.  "  Would  you  kindly  tell  me  the  meaning 
of  the  poem  called  '  Jabberwocky  '  ?  " 

"  Let's  hear  it,"  said  Humpty  Dumpty.  "  I  can  ex- 
plain all  the  poems  that  ever  were  invented and  a 

good  many  that  haven't  been  invented  just  yet." 

This  sounded  very  hopeful,  so  Alice  repeated  the  first 
verse : 

"  'Tivas  briUig,  and  the  slithy  toves 

Did  gyve  and  gimble  in  the  wdbe: 
All  mimsy  were  the  borogoves, 
And  the  mome  raths  outgrabe." 

"  That's  enough  to  begin  with,"  Humpty  Dumpty  in- 
terrupted :    "  there    are    plenty    of    hard    words    there. 

'  Brillig  '  means  four  o'clock  in  the  afternoon the 

time  when  you  begin  broiling  things  for  dinner." 
"  That'll 'do  very  well,"  said  Alice:  "  and  '  slithy  Ty 
"  Well,  '  slithy  '  means  '  lithe  and  slimy,'   '  Lithe  ' 
is  the  same  as  '  active.'    You  see  it's  like  a  portmanteau 


014  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

ihere  are  two  meanings  packed  up  into  one  word." 

"  I  see  it  now,"  Alice  remarked  thoughtfully :  "  and 

what  are  ' toves'V 

"  Well  '  tores  '  are  something  like  badgers they're 

something  like  lizards and  they're  something  like 

corkscrews." 


"  They  must  be  very  curious-looking  creatures." 

"  They  are  that,"  said  Humpty  Dumpty:  "  also  tiey 

make  their  nests  under  sun-dials also  they  live  on 

cheese." 

And  what's  to  '  gyre  '  and  to  '  gimble  *?  " 

To  '  gyre  '  is  to  go  round  and  round  like  a  gyro- 


u 
(I 


HUMPTY  DUMPTY.  215 

scope.     To  ' gimble'  is  to  make  holes  like  a  gimblet." 

"  And  '  the  wabe  '  is  the  grass-plot  round  a  sun-dial,  I 
suppose  ?  "  said  Alice,  surprised  at  her  own  ingenuity. 

"  Of  course  it  is.  It's  called  '  wabe,'  you  know,  be- 
cause it  goes  a  long  way  before  it,  and  a  long  way  be- 
hind it " 

"  And  a  long  way  beyond  it  on  each  side,"  Alice 
added. 

"  Exactly  so.  Well  then,  '  mimsy  '  is  '  flimsy  and 
miserable  '  (there's  another  portmanteau  for  you.  And 
a  '  borogove  '  is  a  thin,  shabby-looking  bird  with  its 

feathers  sticking  out  all  round something  like  a  live 

mop." 

"And  then  '  mome  ruths'?''  said  Alice.  "I'm 
afraid  I'm  giving  you  a  great  deal  of  trouble." 

"  Well,  a  '  ratli '  is  a  sort  of  green  pig:  but  '  mome  ' 
I'm  not  certain  about.      I  think  it's  short  for  '  from 

home  ' meaning  that  they'd  lost    their    way,    you 

know." 

"  And  what  does  '  outgrabe  '  mean  %  " 

"  Well,  '  outgribing  '  is  something  between  bellowing 
and  whistling,  with  a  kind  of  sneeze  in  the  middle :  how- 
ever, you'll  hear  it  done,  maybe down  in  the  wood 

yonder and   when   you've   once   heard   it   you'll   be 

quite  content.  Who's  been  repeating  all  that  hard  stuff 
to  you  ?  " 

"  I  read  it  in  a  book,"  said  Alice.     "  But  I  had  some 

poetry  repeated  to  me,  much  easier  than  that,  by ■ 

Tweedledee,  I  think  it  was." 

"  As  to  poetry,  you  know,"  said  Humpty  Dumpty, 
stretching  out  one  of  his  great  hands,  "  I  can  repeat 
poetry  as  well  as  other  folk,  if  it  comes  to  that " 

"  Oh,  it  needn't  come  to  that !  "  Alice  hastily  said, 
hoping  to  keep  him  from  beginning. 

"  The  piece  I'm  going  to  repeat,"  he  went  on,  without 


216  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

noticing  her  remark,   "  was  written  entirely  for  your 
amusement." 

Alice  felt  that  in  that  case  she  really  ought  to  listen 
to  it,  so  she  sat  down,  and  said  "  Thank  you,"  rather 
sadly. 

'  In  winter,  when  the  fields  are  white, 
I  sing  this  song  for  your  delight 


only  I  don't  sing  it,"  he  added,  as  an  explanation. 

"  I  see  you  don't,"  said  Alice. 

"  If  you  can  see  whether  I'm  singing  or  not,  you've 
sharper  eyes  than  most,"  Ilumpty  Dumpty  remarked 
severely.    Alice  was  silent. 

"  In  spring,  when  woods  are  getting  green, 
I'll  try  and  tell  you  what  I  mean." 

"  Thank  you  very  much,"  said  Alice. 

"  In  summer,  when  the  days  are  long, 
Perhaps  you'll  understand  the  song: 

"  In  autumn,  when  the  leaves  are  brown, 
Take  pen  and  ink,  and  write  it  down." 

"  I  will,  if  I  can  remember  it  so  long,"  said  Alice. 

"  You  needn't  go  on  making  remarks  like  that," 
Humpty  Dumpty  said :  "  they're  not  sensible,  and  they 
put  me  out." 

"  I  sent  a  message  to  the  fish: 
I  told  them  '  This  is  what  I  wish/ 


The  little  fishes  of  the  sea, 
They  sent  an  answer  back  to  me. 


HUMPTY  DUMPTY.  217 


"  The  little  fishes'  answer  was 
'  We  cannot  do  it,  Sir,  because- 


)   it 


"  I'm  afraid  I  don't  quite  understand,"  said  Alice. 
"  It  get's  easier  further  on/'  Humpty  Dumpty  re- 
plied." 

"  /  sent  to  them  again  to  say 
'  It  will  be  better  to  obey.' 

"  The  fishes  answered  with  a  grin, 
'  Why,  what  a  temper  you  are  in! ' 

"  I  told  them  once,  I  told  them  twice : 
They  woidd  not  listen  to  advice. 

"  I  took  a  kettle  large  and  new, 
Fit  for  the  deed  I  had  to  do. 

"  My  heart  went  hop,  my  heart  went  thump; 
I  filled  the  kettle  at  the  pump. 

"  Then  some  one  came  to  me  and  said, 
'  The  little  fishes  are  in  bed.' 

"  I  said  to  him,  I  said  it  plain, 
i  Then  you  must  wake  them  up  again.' 

"  I  said  it  very  loud  and  clear ; 
I  went  and  shouted  in  his  ear." 

■ 

Humpty  Dumpty  raised  his  voice  almost  to  a  scream 
as  he  repeated  this  verse,  and  Alice  thought  with  a  shud- 
der, "  I  wouldn't  have  been  the  messenger  for  any- 
thing ! " 


218  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

"But  lie  was  very  stiff  and  proud; 
He  said  'You  needn't  shout  so  loud!' 


And  lie  was  very  proud  and  stiff ; 
He  said  '  I'd  go  and  wake  them,  if- 


I  took  a  corkscrew  from  the  shelf : 
I  went  to  wake  them  up  myself. 


"And  when  I  found  the  door  was  locked, 
I  pulled  and  pushed  and  kicked  and  kmcked. 

"And  ichen  I  found  the  door  was  shut, 
I  tried  to  turn  the  handle,  but " 


There  was  a  long  pause. 

"  Is  that  all  ?  "  Alice  timidly  asked. 


HUMPTY  DUMPTY.  219 

"  That's  all,"  said  Humpty  Dumpty.     "  Good-bye." 

This  was  rather  sudden,  Alice  thought :  but,  after  such 
a  very  strong  hint  that  she  ought  to  be  going,  she  felt 
that  it  would  hardly  be  civil  to  stay.  So  she  got  up,  and 
held  out  her  hand.  "  Good-bye,  till  we  meet  again !  " 
she  said  as  cheerfully  as  she  could. 

"  I  shouldn't  know  you  again  if  we  did  meet," 
Humpty  Dumpty  replied  in  a  discontented  tone,  giving 
her  one  of  his  fingers  to  shake ;  "  you're  so  exactly  like 
other  people." 

"  The  face  is  what  one  goes  by,  generally,"  Alice  re- 
marked in  a  thoughtful  tone. 

"  That's  just  what  I  complain  of,"  said  Humpty 
Dumpty.      "  Your  face  is  the  same  as  everybody  has 

-the  two  eyes,  so "  (marking  their  places  in  the 

air  with  his  thumb)  "  nose  in  the  middle,  mouth  under. 
It's  always  the  same.     ISTow  if  you  had  the  two  eyes  on 

the  same  side  of  the  nose,  for  instance or  the  mouth 

at  the  top — ■ — that  would  be  some  help." 

"  It  wouldn't  look  nice,"  Alice  objected.  But 
Humpty  Dumpty  only  shut  his  eyes  and  said,  "  Wait 
till  you've  tried." 

Alice  waited  a  minute  to  see  if  he  would  speak  again, 
but  as  he  never  opened  his  eyes  or  took  any  further 
notice  of  her,  she  said  "  Good-bye !  "  once  more,  and, 
getting  no  answer  to  this,  she  quietly  walked  away:  but 
she  couldn't  help  saying  to  herself  as  she  went,  "  Of 

all  the  unsatisfactory "  (she  repeated  this  aloud,  as 

it  was  a  great  comfort  to  have  such  a  long  word  to  say) 

"  of  all  the  unsatisfactory  people  I  ever  met -"     She 

never  finished  the  sentence,  for  at  this  moment  a  heavy 
crash  shook  the  forest  from  end  to  end. 


CHAPTER  VII. 


THE  LION   AND  THE  UNICORN. 


The  next  moment  soldiers  came  running  through  the 
wood,  at  first  in  twos  and  threes,  then  ten  or  twenty  to- 
gether, and  at  last  in  such  crowds  that  they  seemed  to 
fill  the  whole  forest.  Alice  got  behind  a  tree,  for  fear 
of  being  run  over,  and  watched  them  go  by. 

She  thought  that  in  all  her  life  she  had  never  seen 
soldiers  so  uncertain  on  their  feet :  they  were  always 
tripping  over  something  or  other,  and  whenever  one 
went  down,  several  more  always  fell  over  him,  so  that 
the  ground  was  soon  covered  with  little  heaps  of  men. 

Then  came  the  horses.  Having  four  feet  these  man- 
aged rather  better  than  the  foot-soldiers :  but  even  they 
stumbled  now  and  then :  and  it  seemed  to  be  a  regular 
rule  that,  whenever  a  horse  stumbled,  the  rider  fell  off 
instantly.  The  confusion  got  worse  every  moment,  and 
Alice  was  very  glad  to  get  out  of  the  wood  into  an  open 
place,  where  she  found  the  White  King  seated  on  the 
ground,  busily  writing  in  his  memorandum-book. 

"  I've  sent  them  all !  "  the  King  cried  in  a  tone  of  de- 
light, on  seeing  Alice.  "  Did  you  happen  to  meet  any 
soldiers,  my  dear,  as  you  came  through  the  wood  ? ': 

"Yes,  I  did,"  said  Alice:  "several  thousand,  I 
should  think." 

"  Four  thousand  two  hundred  and  seven,  that's  the 
exact  number,"  the  King  said,  referring  to  his  book. 
"  I  couldn't  send  all  the  horses,  you  know,  because  two 
of  them  are  wanted  in  the  game.  And  I  haven't  sent  the 
two  Messengers,  either.     They're  both  gone  to  the  town. 

220 


THE  LION  AND  THE  UNICORN. 


221 


Just  look  along  the  road,  and  tell  me  if  you  can  see 
either  of  them." 

"  I  see  nobody  on  the  road,"  said  Alice. 

"I  only  wish  I  had  such  eyes,"  the  King  remarked 
in  a  fretful  tone.  "  To  be  able  to  see  Nobody !  And  at 
that  distance  too !  Why,  it's  as  much  as  I  can  do  to  see 
real  people  by  this  light !  " 


All  this  was  lost  on  Alice,  who  was  still  looking  in- 
tently along  the  road,  shading  her  eyes  with  one  hand. 
"  I  see  somebody  now !  "  she  exclaimed  at  last.     "  But 

he's  coming  very  slowly and  what  curious  attitudes 

he  goes  into !  "     (For  the  Messenger  kept  skipping  up 


222  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

and  down,  and  wriggling  like  an  eel,  as  he  came  along, 
with  his  great  hands  spread  out  like  fans  on  each  side.) 

"  Not  at  all,"  said  the  King.    "  He's  an  Anglo-Saxon 

Messenger and    those    are    Anglo-Saxon    attitudes. 

He  only  does  them  when  he's  happy.  His  name  is 
Haigha."  (He  pronounced  it  so  as  to  rhyme  with 
"  mayor.'') 

"  I  love  my  love  with  an  II,"  Alice  couldn't  help  be- 
ginning, "  because  he  is  Happy.     I  hate  him  with  an 

II,  because  he  is  Hideous.     I  feed  him  with with 

with   Ham-sandwiches    and    Hay.      His   name    is 

Haigha,  and  he  lives " 

"  He  lives  on  the  Hill,"  the  King  remarked  simply, 
without  the  least  idea  that  he  was  joining  in  the  game, 
while  Alice  was  still  hesitating  for  the  name  of  a  town 
beginning  with  II.  "  The  other  Messenger's  called 
Hatta.  I  must  have  two,  you  know — to  come  and  go. 
One  to  come,  and  one  to  go." 

"  I  beg  your  pardon  ?  "  said  Alice. 

"  It  isn't  respectable  to  beg,"  said  the  King. 

"  I  only  meant  that  I  didn't  understand,"  said  Alice. 
"  Whv  one  to  come  and  one  to  go  ?  " 

"  Don't  I  tell  you  ?  "  the  King  repeated  impatiently. 

"  I  must  have  two to  fetch  and  carry.     One  to  fetch, 

and  one  to  carry." 

At  this  moment  the  Messenger  arrived :  he  was  far  too 
much  out  of  breath  to  say  a  word,  and  could  only  wave 
his  hands  about,  and  make  the  most  fearful  faces  at 
the  poor  King. 

"  This  young  lady  loves  you  with  an  II,"  the  King 
said,  introducing  Alice  in  the  hope  of  turning  off  the 

messenger's  attention  from  himself but  it  was  no  use 

■ the  Anglo-Saxon  attitudes  only  got  more  extraordi- 
nary every  moment,  while  the  great  eyes  rolled  wildly 
from  side  to  side. 


THE  LION  AND  THE  UNICORN. 


223 


"  You  alarm  me !  "  said  the  King.    "  I  feel  faint 

Give  me  a  ham  sandwich !  " 

On  which  the  Messenger,  to  Alice's  great  amusement, 
opened  a  bag  that  hung  round  his  neck,  and  handed  a 
sandwich  to  the  King,  who  devoured  it  greedily. 

"  Another  sandwich  !  "  said  the  King. 

"  There's  nothing  but  hay  left  now,"  the  Messenger 
said,  peeping  into  the  bag. 


"  Hay,  then,"  the  King  murmured,  in  a  faint  whis- 
per. 

Alice  was  glad  to  see  that  it  revived  him  a  good  deal. 
"  There's  nothing  like  eating  hay  when  you're  faint," 
he  remarked  to  her,  as  he  munched  awav. 

"  I  should  think  throwing  cold  water  over  you  would 
be  better,"  Alice  suggested  :  " or  some  sal-volatile." 

"  I  didn't  say  there  was  nothing  better,"  the  King 
replied.  "  I  said  there  was  nothing  like  it."  Which 
Alice  did  not  venture  to  deny. 


224  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

"  Who  did  you  pass  on  the  road  ?  "  the  King  went 
on,  holding  out  his  hand  to  the  Messenger  for  some 
more  hay. 

"  Nobody,"  said  the  Messenger. 

"Quite  right,"  said  the  King:  "this  young  lady 
saw  him  too.  So  of  course  Nobody  walks  slower  than 
you." 

"  I  do  my  best,"  the  Messenger  said  in  a  sullen  tone. 
"  I'm  sure  nobody  walks  much  faster  than  I  do !  " 

"  He  can't  do  that,"  said  the  King,  "  or  else  he'd  have 
been  here  first.  However,  now  you've  got  your  breath, 
you  may  tell  us  what's  happened  in  the  town." 

"  I'll  whisper  it,"  said  the  Messenger,  putting  his 
hands  to  his  mouth  in  the  shape  of  a  trumpet,  and  stoop- 
ing so  as  to  get  close  to  the  King's  ear.  Alice  was  sorrv 
for  this,  as  she  wanted  to  hear  the  news  too.  However, 
instead  of  whispering,  he  simply  shouted  at  the  top  of 
his  voice,  "  They're  at  it  again  !  " 

"  Do  you  call  that  a  whisper  ?  "  cried  the  poor  King, 
jumping  up  and  shaking  himself.  "  If  you  do  such  a 
thing  again,  I'll  have  you  buttered !  It  went  through 
and  through  my  head  like  an  earthquake !  ' 

"  It   would   have    to   be   a    very   tiny   earthquake !  ' 
thought  Alice.     "  Who  are  at  it  again  ?  "  she  ventured 
to  ask. 

"  Why,  the  Lion  and  the  Unicorn,  of  course,"  said 
the  King. 

"  Fighting  for  the  crown  ?  " 

"  Yes,  to  be  sure,"  said  the  King:  "  and  the  best  of 
the  joke  is,  that  it's  my  crown  all  the  while !  Let's  run 
and  see  them."  And  they  trotted  off,  Alice  repeating  to 
herself,  as  she  ran,  the  words  of  the  old  song: — 

Te  The  Lion  and  the  Unicorn  were  fighting  for  the  crown: 
The  Lion  heat  the  Unicorn  all  round  the  town. 


THE  LION  AND  THE  UNICORN.  225 

Some  gave  them  white  bread,  some  gave  them  brown; 
Some  gave  them  plum-cake  and  drummed  them  out  of 
town." 

"  Does the    one that    wins get    the 

crown  ?  "  she  asked,  as  well  as  she  could,  for  the  run  was 
putting  her  quite  out  of  breath. 

"  Dear  me,  no !  "  said  the  King.     "  What  an  idea !  " 

"  Would  you be  good  enough,"  Alice  panted  out, 

after  running  a  little  further,  "  to  stop  a  minute ■ 

just  to  get one's  breath  again  ?  " 

"  I'm  good  enough,"  the  King  said,  "  only  I'm  not 
strong  enough.  You  see,  a  minute  goes  by  so  fearfully 
quick.    You  might  as  well  try  to  stop  a  Bandersnatch !  " 

Alice  had  no  more  breath  for  talking,  so  they  trotted 
on  in  silence,  till  they  came  in  sight  of  a  great  crowd, 
in  the  middle  of  which  the  Lion  and  Unicorn  were 
fighting.  They  were  in  such  a  cloud  of  dust,  that  at  first 
Alice  could  not  make  out  which  was  which:  but  she 
soon  managed  to  distinguish  the  Unicorn  bv  his  horn. 

They  placed  themselves  close  to  where  Hatta,  the 
other  Messenger,  was  standing  watching  the  first,  with 
a  cup  of  tea  in  one  hand  and  a  piece  of  bread-and-butter 
in  the  other. 

"  He's  only  just  out  of  prison,  and  he  hadn't  finished 
his  tea  when  he  was  sent  in,"  Haigha  whispered  to 
Alice :  "  and  they  only  gave  them  oyster-shells  in  there 

■ so  you  see  he's  very  hungry  and  thirsty.     How  are 

you,  dear  child  ?  "  he  went  on,  putting  his  arm  affec- 
tionately round  Hatta's  neck. 

Hatta  looked  round  and  nodded,  and  went  on  with 
his  bread-and-butter. 

"  Were  you  happy  in  prison,  dear  child  ? "  said 
Haigha. 

Hatta  looked  round  once  more,  and  this  time  a  tear 
15 


226 


THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 


or  two  trickled  down  his  cheek:  but  not  a  word  would 
lie  say. 

"  Speak,  can't  you  !  "  Haigha  cried  impatiently.  But 
Hatta  only  munched  away,  and  drank  some  more  tea. 

"  Speak,  won't  you !  "  cried  the  King.  "  How  are 
they  getting  on  Avith  the  fight  ?  " 

Hatta  made  a  desperate  effort,  and  swallowed  a  large 
piece  of  bread-and-butter.  "  They're  getting  on  very 
well,"  he  said  in  a  choking  voice:  ''each  of  them  has 
ibeen  down  about  eighty-seven  times." 


a 


Then  I  suppose  they'll  soon  bring  the  white  bread 
-and  the  brown  ?  "  Alice  ventured  to  remark. 

"It's  waiting  for  'em  now,"  said  Hatta:  "this  is  a 
bit  of  it  as  I'm  eating." 

There  was  a  pause  in  the  fight  just  then,  and  the 
Lion  and  the  Unicorn  sat  down,  panting,  while  the 
King  called  out  "  Ten  minutes  allowed  for  refresh- 
ments !  "  Haigha  and  Hatta  set  to  work  at  once,  car- 
rying round  trays  of  white  and  brown  bread.  Alice 
7i.ook  a  piece  to  taste,  but  it  was  very  dry. 


THE  LION  AND  THE  UNICORN.  22? 

"  I  don't  think  they'll  fight  any  more  to-day,"  the 
King  said  to  Hatta  :  "  go  and  order  the  drums  to  begin." 
And  Hatta  went  bounding  away  like  a  grasshopper. 

For  a  minute  or  two  Alice  stood  silent,  watching 
him.  Suddenly  she  brightened  up.  "  Look !  look !  "  she 
cried,  pointing  eagerly.  "  There's  the  White  Queen 
running  across  the  country !      She  came  flying  out  <# 

the  wood  over  yonder How  fast  those  Queens  can 

run !  "        " 

"  There's  some  enemy  after  her,  no  doubt,"  the  King 
said,  without  even  looking  round.  "  That  wood's  full 
of  them." 

"  But  aren't  you  going  to  run  and  help  her  ?  "  Alice 
asked,  very  much  surprised  at  his  taking  it  so  quietly. 

"  ISTo  use,  no  use !  "  said  the  King.  "  She  runs  so 
fearfully  quick.  You  might  as  well  try  to  catch  a  Ban- 
dersnatch !     But  I'll  make  a  memorandum  about  her,. 

if  you  like She's  a  dear  good  creature,"  he  repeated 

softly  to  himself,  as  he  opened  his  memorandum-book. 
"  Do  you  spell  '  creature  '  with  a  double  '  e  '  ? ': 

At  this  moment  the  Unicorn  sauntered  by  them,  with 
his  hands  in  his  pockets.  "  I  had  the  best  of  it  this 
time  ?  "  he  said  to  the  King,  just  glancing  at  him  as  he 
passed. 

"  A  little a  little,"  the  King  replied,  rather  ner- 
vously. "  You  shouldn't  have  run  him  through  with 
your  horn,  you  know." 

"  It  didn't  hurt  him,"  the  Unicorn  said  carelessly., 
and  he  was  going  on,  when  his  eye  happened  to  fall  upon 
Alice:  he  turned  round  instantly,  and  stood  for  some- 
time looking  at  her  with  an  air  of  the  deepest  dis- 
gust. 

"  What is this  ?  "  he  said  at  last. 

"  This  is  a  child !  "  Haigha  replied  eagerly,  coming, 
in  front  of  Alice  to  introduce  her,  and  spreading  out 


228  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

both  his  hands  toward  her  in  an  Anglo-Saxon  attitude. 
"  We  only  found  it  to-day.  It's  as  large  as  life,  and 
twice  as  natural !  " 

"  I  always  thought  they  were  fabulous  monsters !  ': 
said  the  Unicorn.     "  Is  it  alive  \  " 

"  It  can  talk,"  said  Haigha,  solemnly. 

The  Unicorn  looked  dreamily  at  Alice,  and  said 
"  Talk,  child." 

Alice  could  not  help  her  lips  curling  up  into  a  smile 
as  she  began :  "  Do  you  know,  I  always  thought  Uni- 
corns  were  fabulous  monsters,  too !  I  never  saw  one 
alive  before !  " 

"  Well,  now  that  we  have  seen  each  other,"  said  the 
Unicorn,  "  if  you'll  believe  in  me,  I'll  believe  in  you. 
Is  that  a  bargain  \  " 

"  Yes,  if  you  like,"  said  Alice. 

"  Come,  fetch  out  the  plum-cake,  old  man !  '  the 
Unicorn  went  on,  turning  from  her  to  the  King.  "  Xone 
of  your  brown  bread  for  me !  " 

"  Certainly certainly !  "  the  Kinsr  muttered,  and 

beckoned  to  Haigha.  "  Open  the  bag !  "  he  whispered. 
"  Quick !     ISTot  that  one that's  full  of  hay !  " 

Haigha  took  a  large  cake  out  of  the  bag,  and  gave 
it  to  Alice  to  hold,  while  he  got  out  a  dish  and  carving- 
knife.  How  they  all  came  out  of  it  Alice  couldn't 
guess.     It  was  just  like  a  conjuring-trick,  she  thought. 

The  Lion  had  joined  them  while  this  was  going  on: 
he  looked  very  tired  and  sleepy,  and  his  eyes  were  half 
shut.  "  What's  this !  "  he  said,  blinking  lazily  at  Alice, 
and  speaking  in  a  deep  hollow  tone  that  sounded  like  the 
tolling  of  a  great  bell. 

"  Ah,  what  is  it,  now  \  "  the  Unicorn  cried  eagerly. 
"  You'll  never  guess  !    I  couldn't." 

The  Lion  looked  at  Alice  wearily.    "  Are  you  animal 


THE  LION  AND  THE  UNICORN. 


229 


or  vegetable or  mineral  ?  "  he  said,  yawning  at 

every  other  word. 

"  It's  a  fabulous  monster !  "  the  Unicorn  cried  out, 
before  Alice  could  reply. 

"  Then  hand  round  the  plum-cake,  Monster,"  the 
Lion  said,  lying  down  and  putting  his  chin  on  his  paws. 
"And  sit  down,  both  of  you,"  (to  the  King  and  the 
Unicorn)  :  "  fair  play  with  the  cake,  you  know!  ': 

The  King  was  evidently  very  uncomfortable  at  hav- 
ing to  sit  down  between  the  two  great  creatures;  but 
there  was  no  other  place  for  him. 


"  What  a  fight  we  might  have  for  the  crown,  now!" 
the  Unicorn  said,  looking  slyly  up  at  the  crown,  which 
the  poor  King  was  nearly  shaking  off  his  head,  he  trem- 
bled so  much. 

"  I  should  win  easy,"  said  the  Lion. 

"  I'm  not  so  sure  of  that,"  said  the  Unicorn. 

"  Why,  I  beat  you  all  round  the  town,  you  chicken !  " 
the  Lion  replied  angrily,  half  getting  up  as  he  spoke. 

Here  the  King  interrupted,  to  prevent  the  quarrel 


230  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

going  on:  he  was  very  nervous,  and  his  voice  quite 
quivered.  "  All  round  the  town  ?  "  he  said.  "  That's 
a  good  long  way.  Did  you  go  by  the  old  bridge,  or  the 
market-place  ?  You  get  the  best  view  by  the  old 
bridge." 

"  I'm  sure  I  don't  know,"  the  Lion  growled  out  as 
he  lay  down  again.  "  There  was  too  much  dust  to  see 
anvthing.  What  a  time  the  Monster  is,  cutting  up  that 
cake!" 

Alice  had  seated  herself  on  the  bank  of  a  little  brook, 
with  the  great  dish  on  her  knees,  and  was  sawing  away 
diligently  with  the  knife.  "  It's  very  provoking !  "  she 
said,  in  reply  to  the  Lion  (she  was  getting  quite  used  to 
being  called  "  the  Monster  ").  "  I've  cut  several  slices 
already,  but  they  alwavs  "join  on  again !  " 

"  You  don't  know  how  to  manage  Looking-glass 
cakes,"  the  Unicorn  remarked.  "  Hand  it  round  first, 
and  cut  it  afterward." 

This  sounded  nonsense,  but  Alice  very  obediently 
got  up,  and  carried  the  dish  round,  and  the  cake  divided 
itself  into  three  pieces  as  she  did  so.  "  Now  cut  it  up," 
said  the  Lion,  as  she  returned  to  her  place  with  the 
empty  dish. 

"  I  say,  this  isn't  fair !  "  cried  the  Lmicorn,  as  Alice 
sat  with  the  knife  in  her  hand,  very  much  puzzled  how 
to  begin.  "  The  Monster  has  given  the  Lion  twice  as 
much  as  me  !  " 

"  She's  kept  none  for  herself,  anyhow,"  said  the  Lion. 
"  Do  you  like  plum-cake,  Monster  ?  " 

But  before  Alice  could  answer  him,  the  drums  began. 

Where  the  noise  came  from,  she  couldn't  make  out : 
the  air  seemed  full  of  it,  and  it  rang  through  and 
through  her  head  till  she  felt  quite  deafened.  She 
started  to  her  feet  and  sprang  across  the  little  brook  in 
her  terror,  and  had  just  time  to  see  the  Lion  and  the 


THE  LION  AND  THE  UNICORN. 


231 


Unicorn  rise  to  their  feet,  with  angry  looks  at  being 
interrupted  in  their  feast,  before  she  dropped  to  her 
knees,  and  put  her  hands  over  her  ears,  vainly  trying  to 
shut  out  the  dreadful  uproar. 

"  If  that  doesn't   '  drum  them  out  of  town/  "   she 
thought  to  herself,  "  nothing  ever  will !  " 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

"  it's  my  own  invention." 

After  a  while  the  noise  seemed  gradually  to  die 
away,  till  all  was  dead  silence,  and  AJice  lifted  up  her 
head  in  some  alarm.  There  was  no  one  to  he  seen,  and 
her  first  thought  was  that  she  must  have  been  dreaming 
about  the  Lion  and  the  Unicorn  and  those  queer  Anglo- 
Saxon  Messengers.  However,  there  was  the  great  dish 
still  lying  at  her  feet,  on  which  she  had  tried  to  cut 
the  plum-cake,  "  So  I  wasn't  dreaming,  after  all,"  she 

said  to  herself,  "  unless unless  we're  all  part  of  the 

same  dream.  Only  I  do  hope  it's  my  dream,  and  not  the 
Red  King's !  I  don't  like  belonging  to  another  person's 
dream,"  she  went  on  in  a  rather  complaining  tone: 
"  I've  a  great  mind  to  go  and  wake  him,  and  see  what 
happens ! " 

At  this  moment  her  thoughts  were  interrupted  by  a 
loud  shouting  of  "  Ahoy !  Ahoy !  Check !  '  and  a 
Knight,  dressed  in  crimson  armor,  came  galloping  down 
upon  her,  brandishing  a  great  club.  Just  as  he  reached 
her,  the  horse  stopped  suddenly :  "  You're  my  pris- 
oner !  "  the  Knight  cried,  as  he  tumbled  off  his  horse. 

Startled  as  she  was,  Alice  was  more  frightened  for 
him  than  for  herself  at  the  moment,  and  watched  him 
with  some  anxiety  as  he  mounted  again.  As  soon  as  he 
was   comfortably   in   the   saddle,   he   began   once   more 

"  You're   my "    but   here    another   voice    broke    in 

"  Ahoy  !  Ahoy  !  Check !  "  and  Alice  looked  round  in 
some  surprise  for  the  new  enemy. 

232 


"IT'S  MY  OWN  INVENTION."  233 

This  time  it  was  a  White  Knight.  He  drew  up  at 
Alice's  side,  and  tumbled  off  his  horse  just  as  the  Red 
Knight  had  done :  then  he  got  on  again,  and  the  two 
Knights  sat  and  looked  at  each  other  for  some  time 
without  speaking.  Alice  looked  from  one  to  the  other 
in  some  bewilderment. 

"  She's  my  prisoner,  you  know !  "  the  Red  Knight 
said  at  last. 

"  Yes,  but  then  I  came  and  rescued  her!  "  the  White 
Knight  replied. 

"  Well,  we  must  fight  for  her,  then,"  said  the  Red 
Knight,  as  he  took  up  his  helmet  (which  hung  from  the 
saddle,  and  was  something  the  shape  of  a  horse's  head), 
and  put  it  on. 

"  You  will  observe  the  Rules  of  Battle,  of  course  ?  " 
the  White  Knight  remarked,  putting  on  his  helmet  too. 

"  I  always  do,"  said  the  Red  Knight,  and  they  began 
banging  away  at  each  other  with  such  fury  that  Alice 
got  behind  a  tree  to  be  out  of  the  way  of  the  blows). 

"  I  wonder,  now,  what  the  Rules  of  Battle  are/'  she 
said  to  herself,  as  she  watched  the  fight,  timidly  peep- 
ing out  from  her  hiding-place :  "  one  Rule  seems  to  be, 
that  if  one  Knight  hits  the  other,  he  knocks  him  off  his 

horse,  and  if  he  misses,  he  tumbles  off  himself and 

another  Rule  seems  to  be  that  they  hold  their  clubs  with 

their  arms,  as  if  they  were  Punch  and  Judy What  a 

noise  they  make  when  they  tumble !  Just  like  a  whole 
set  of  fire-irons  falling  into  the  fender !  And  how  quiet 
the  horses  are !  They  let  them  get  on  and  off  them  just 
as  if  they  were  tables !  " 

Another  Rule  of  Battle,  that  Alice  had  not  noticed, 
seemed  to  be  that  they  always  fell  on  their  heads,  and 
the  battle  ended  with  their  both  falling  off  in  this  way, 
side  by  side :  when  they  got  up  again,  they  shook  hands, 
and  then  the  Red  Knight  mounted  and  galloped  off. 


234 


THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 


"  It  was   a   glorious 


victory,  wasn't  it  ? "'  said  the 
White  Knight,  as  he  came  up  panting. 

"  I  don't  know,"  Alice  said  doubtfully.  "  I  don't 
want  to  be  anybody's  prisoner.     I  want  to  be  a  Queen." 

"  So  you  will,  when  you've  crossed  the  next  brook," 
said  the  White  Knight.     "  I'll  see  you  safe  to  the  end 

of  the  wood and  then  I  must  go  back,  you  know. 

That's  the  end  of  my  move." 


"  Thank  you  very  much,"  said  Alice.  "  May  I  help 
you  off  with  your  helmet  ?  "  It  was  evidently  more  than 
he  could  manage  by  himself ;  however  she  managed  to 
shake  him  out  of  it  at  last. 

"  Now  one  can  breathe  more  easily,"  said  the  Knight, 
putting  back  his  shaggy  hair  with  both  hands,  and 
turning  his  gentle  face  and  large  mild  eyes  to  Alice. 
She  thought  she  had  never  seen  such  a  strange-looking 
soldier  in  all  her  life. 


"IT'S  MY  OWN  INVENTION."  235 

He  was  dressed  in  tin  armor,  which  seemed  to  fit 
him  very  badly,  and  he  had  a  queer-shaped  little  deal 
box  fastened  across  his  shoulders,  upside-down,  and 
with  the  lid  hanging  open.  Alice  looked  at  it  with  great 
curiosity. 

"  I  se'e  you're  admiring  my  little  box,"  the  Knight 

said  in  a  friendly  tone.     "  It's  my  own  invention to 

keep  clothes  and  sandwiches  in.  You  see  I  carry  it 
upside-down,  so  that  the  rain  can't  get  in." 

"  But  the  things  can  get  out,"  Alice  gently  remarked. 
"  Do  you  not  know  the  lid's  open  ?  " 

"  I  didn't  know  it,"  the  Knight  said,  a  shade  of  vexa- 
tion passing  over  his  face.  "  Then  all  the  things  must 
have  fallen  out !  And  the  box  is  no  use  without  them." 
He  unfastened  it  as  he  spoke,  and  was  just  going  to 
throw  it  into  the  bushes,  when  a  sudden  thought  seemed 
to  strike  him,  and  he  hung  it  carefully  on  a  tree.  "  Can 
you  guess  why  I  did  that  \  "  he  said  to  Alice. 

Alice  shook  her  head. 

"  In  hopes  some  bees  may  make  a  nest  in  it then 

I  should  get  the  honey." 

"  But  you've  got  a  beehive or  something  like  one 

fastened  to  the  saddle,"  said  Alice. 

"  Yes,  it's  a  very  good  beehive,"  the  Knight  said  in 
a  discontented  tone,  "  one  of  the  best  kind.  But  not  a 
single  bee  has  come  near  it  yet.  And  the  other  thing 
is  a  mouse-trap.  I  suppose  the  mice  keep  the  bees  out 
or  the  bees  keep  the  mice  out,  I  don't  know  which." 

"  I  was  wondering  what  the  mouse-trap  was  for,"  said 
Alice.  "  It  isn't  very  likely  there  would  be  any  mice 
on  the  horse's  back." 

"  Not  very  likely,  perhaps,"  said  the  Knight ;  "  but 
if  they  do  come,  I  don't  choose  to  have  them  running  all 
about. 

"  You  see,"  he  went  on  after  a  pause,  "  it's  as  well 


236  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

to  be  provided  for  everything.     That's  the  reason  the 
horse  has  all  those  anklets  round  his  feet." 

"  But  what  are  they  for  ?  "  Alice  asked  in  a  tone  of 
great  curiosity. 

"  To  guard  against  the  bites  of  sharks,"  the  Knight 
replied.     "  It's  an  invention  of  my  own.     And  now  help 

me  on.     I'll  go  with  you  to  the  end  of  the  wood 

What's  that  dish  for  ?  " 

"  It's  meant  for  plum-cake,"  said  Alice. 

"  We'd  better  take  it  with  us,"  the  Knight  said. 
"  It'll  come  in  handy  if  we  find  any  plum-cake.  Help 
me  to  get  it  into  this  bag." 

This  took  a  long  time  to  manage,  though  Alice  held 
the  bag  open  very  carefully,  because  the  Knight  was  so 
very  awkward  in  putting  in  the  dish  :  the  first  two  or 
three  times  that  he  tried  he  fell  in  himself  instead. 
"  It's  rather  a  tight  fit,  you  see,"  he  said,  as  they  got  it 
in  at  last :  "  there  are  so  many  candlesticks  in  the  bag." 
And  he  hung  it  to  the  saddle,  which  was  already  loaded 
with  bunches  of  carrots,  and  fire-irons,  and  many  other 
things. 

"  I  hope  you've  got  your  hair  well  fastened  on  ? ': 
he  continued,  as  they  set  off. 

"  Only  in  the  usual  way,"  Alice  said,  smiling. 

"  That's  hardly  enough,"  he  said,  anxiously.  "  You 
see  the  wind  is  so  very  strong  here.  It's  as  strong  as 
soup." 

"  Have  you  invented  a  plan  for  keeping  the  hair 
from  being  blown  off  ?  "  Alice  inquired. 

"  Not  yet,"  said  the  Knight.  "  But  I've  got  a  plan 
for  keeping  it  from  falling  off." 

"  I  should  like  to  hear  it,  very  much." 

"  First  you  take  an  upright  stick,"  said  the  Knight, 
"  Then  you  make  your  hair  creep  up  it,  like  a  fruit-tree. 
Now  the  reason  hair  falls  off  is  because  it  hangs  down 


"  IT'S  MY  OWN  INVENTION." 


237 


— things  never  fall  upwards,  you  know.  It's  a  plan  of 

my  own  invention.    You  may  try  it  if  you  like." 

It  didn't  sound  a  comfortable  plan,  Alice  thought,  and 
for  a  few  minutes  she  walked  on  in  silence,  puzzling 
over  the  idea,  and  every  now  and  then  stopping  to  help 
the  poor  Knight,  who  certainly  was  not  a  good  rider. 


Whenever  the  horse  stopped  (which  it  did  very 
often),  he  fell  off  in  front;  and  whenever  it  went  on 
again  (which  it  generally  did  rather  suddenly),  he  fell 
off  behind.  Otherwise  he  kept  on  pretty  well,  except 
that  he  had  a  habit  of  now  and  then  falling  off  sideways; 
and  as  he  generally  did  this  on  the  side  on  which  Alic6 
was  walking,  she  soon  found  that  it  was  the  best  plan 
not  to  walk  quite  close  to  the  horse. 


238  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

"  Pm  afraid  you've  not  had  much  practice  in  riding," 
she  ventured  to  say,  as  she  was  helping  him  up  from  his 
fifth  tumble. 

The  Knight  looked  very  much  surprised,  and  a  little 
offended  at  the  remark.  "  "What  makes  vou  sav  that  ?  " 
he  asked,  as  he  scrambled  back  into  the  saddle,  keeping 
hold  of  Alice's  hair  with  one  hand,  to  save  himself  from 
falling  over  on  the  other  side. 

"  Because  people  don't  fall  off  quite  so  often,  when 
they've  had  much  practice." 

"  I've  had  plenty  of  practice,"  the  Knight  said  very 
gravely  :  "  plenty  of  practice  !  " 

Alice  could  think  of  nothing  better  to  sav  than  "  In- 
deed  ?  "  but  she  said  it  as  heartily  as  she  could.  They 
went  on  a  little  way  in  silence  after  this,  the  Knight 
with  his  eyes  shut,  muttering  to  himself,  and  Alice 
watching  anxiously  for  the  next  tumble. 

■"  The  great  art  of  riding,"  the  Knight  suddenly  be- 
gan in  a  loud  voice,  waving  his  right  arm  as  he  spoke, 

"  is  to  keep "    Here  the  sentence  ended  as  suddenly 

as  it  had  begun,  as  the  Knight  fell  heavily  on  the  top  of 
his  head  exactly  in  the  path  where  Alice  was  walking. 
She  was  quite  frightened  this  time,  and  said  in  an  anx- 
ious tone,  as  she  picked  him  up,  "  I  hope  no  bones  are 
broken  ?  " 

"  Xone  to  speak  of,"  the  Knight  said,  as  if  he  didn't 
mind  breaking  two  or  three  of  them.     "  The  great  art 

of  riding,  as  I  was  saying,  is to  keep  your  balance 

properly.     Like  this,  you  know " 

He  let  go  the  bridle,  and  stretched  out  both  his  arms 
to  show  Alice  what  he  meant,  and  this  time  he  fell 
flat  on  his  back,  right  under  the  horse's  feet. 

"  Plenty  of  practice !  "  he  went  on  repeating,  all  the 
time  that  Alice  was  getting  him  on  his  feet  again. 
"  Plenty  of  practice !  " 


"IT'S  MY  OWN  INVENTION."  239 

"  It's  too  ridiculous !  "  cried  Alice,  losing  all  her 
patience  this  time.  "  You  ought  to  have  a  wooden 
horse  on  wheels,  that  you  ought !  " 

"  Does  that  kind  go  smoothly?  "  the  Knight  asked  in 
a  tone  of  great  interest,  clasping  his  arms  round  the 
horse's  neck  as  he  spoke,  just  in  time  to  save  himself 
from  tumbling  off  again. 

"  Much  more  smoothly  than  a  live  horse,"  Alice  said, 
with  a  little  scream  of  laughter,  in  spite  of  all  she  could 
do  to  prevent  it. 

"  I'll  get  one,"  the  Knight  said  thoughtfully,  to  him- 
self.    "  One  or  two several." 

There  was  a  short  silence  after  this,  and  then  the 
Knight  went  on  again.  "  I'm  a  great  hand  at  invent- 
ing things.  Now,  I  dare  say  you  noticed,  the  last  time 
you  picked  me  up,  that  I  was  looking  rather  thought- 
ful ? " 

"  You  were  a  little  grave,"  said  Alice. 

"  Well,  just  then  I  was  inventing  a  new  way  of  get- 
ting over  a  gate would  you  like  to  hear  it  ?  " 

"  Very  much,  indeed,"  Alice  said,  politely. 

"  I'll  tell  you  how  I  came  to  think  of  it,"  said  the 
Knight.  "  You  see,  I  said  to  myself,  '  The  only  diffi- 
culty is  with  the  feet:  the  head  is  high  enough  already.' 

Now,  first  I  put  my  head  on  the  top  of  the  gate then 

the  head's  high  enough then  I  stand  on  my  head 

then  the  feet  are  high  enough,  you  see then  I'm 

over,  you  see." 

"  Yes,  I  suppose  you'd  be  over  when  that  was  done," 
Alice  said,  thoughtfully :  "  but  don't  you  think  it  would 
be  rather  hard  %  " 

"I  haven't  tried  it  yet,"  the  Knight  said,  gravely r 

"  so  I  can't  tell  for  certain but  I'm  afraid  it  would 

be  a  little  hard." 

He  looked  so  vexed  at  the  idea,  that  Alice  changed; 


2-tO  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

the  subject  hastily.  "  What  a  curious  helmet  you've 
got !  "  she  said,  cheerfully.  "  Is  that  your  invention 
too  ?  " 

The  Knight  looked  down  proudly  at  his  helmet,  which 
hung  from  the  saddle.  "  Yes,"  he  said,  "  but  I've  in- 
vented   a    better   one    than    that like    a    sugar-loaf. 

When  I  used  to  wear  it,  if  I  fell  off  my  horse,  it  always 
touched  the  ground  directly.     So  I  had  a  very  little  way 

to  fall,  you  see But  there  icas  the  danger  of  falling 

into  it,  to  be  sure.     That  happened  to  me  once and 

the  worst  of  it  was,  before  I  could  get  out  again,  the 
other  White  Knight  came  and  put  it  on.  He  thought  it 
was  his  own  helmet." 

The  Knight  looked  so  solemn  about  it  that  Alice  did 
not  dare  to  laugh.  "  I'm  afraid  you  must  have  hurt 
him,"  she  said,  in  a  trembling  voice,  "  being  on  the 
top  of  his  head." 

"  I  had  to  kick  him,  of  course,"  the  Knight  said,  very 

seriously.     "  And  then  he  took  the  helmet  off  again 

but  it  took  hours  and  hours  to  get  me  out.  I  was  as  fast 
as as  lightning,  you  know." 

"  But  that's  a  different  kind  of  fastness,"  Alice  ob- 
jected. 

The  Knight  shook  his  head.  "  It  was  all  kinds  of 
fastness  with  me,  I  can  assure  you !  "  he  said.  He 
raised  his  hands  in  some  excitement  as  he  said  this, 
and  instantly  rolled  out  of  the  saddle,  and  fell  headlong 
into  a  deep  ditch. 

Alice  ran  to  the  side  of  the  ditch  to  look  for  him.  She 
was  rather  startled  by  the  fall,  as  for  some  time  he  had 
kept  on  very  well,  and  she  was  afraid  that  he  really  was 
hurt  this  time.  However,  though  she  could  see  nothing 
but  the  soles  of  his  feet,  she  was  much  relieved  to  hear 
that  he  was  talking  on  in  his  usual  tone.  "All  kinds  of 
fastness,"  he  repeated:  "but  it  was  careless  of  him  to 


"IT'S  MY  OWN  INVENTION." 


241 


put  another  man's  helmet  on with  the  man  in  it, 

too." 

"  How  can  you  go  on  talking  so  quietly,  head  down- 
wards ?  "  Alice  asked,  as  she  dragged  him  out  by  the 
feet,  and  laid  him  in  a  heap  on  the  bank. 

The  Knight  looked  surprised  at  the  question.  "  What 
does  it  matter  where  my  body  happens  to  be  ?  "  he  said. 
"  My  mind  goes  on  working  all  the  same.     In  fact,  the 


more  head  downwards  I  am,  the  more  I  keep  inventing 
new  things. 

:'  Now  the  cleverest  thing  of  the  sort  that  I  ever 
did,"  he  went  on  after  a  pause,  "  was  inventing  a  new 
pudding  during  the  meat  course." 

"  In  time  to  have  it  cooked  for  the  next  course  ?  " 
said  Alice.  "  Well,  that  was  quick  work,  cer- 
tainly !  " 

"  Well,  not  the  next  course,"  the  Knight  said,  in  a 
slow,    thoughtful   tone :    "  no,    certainly   not    the   next 
course." 
16 


242  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

"  Then  it  would  have  to  be  the  next  day.  I  suppose 
you  wouldn't  have  two  pudding-courses  in  one  din- 
ner ?  " 

"  Well,  not  the  next  day,"  the  Knight  repeated  as  be- 
fore: "not  the  next  day.  In  fact,"  he  went  on,  hold- 
ing his  head  down,  and  his  voice  getting  lower  and 
lower,  "  I  don't  believe  that  pudding  ever  was  cooked! 
In  fact,  I  don't  believe  that  pudding  ever  will  be  cooked ! 
And  yet  it  was  a  very  clever  pudding  to  invent." 

"  What  did  you  mean  it  to  be  made  of  ?  "  Alice  asked, 
hoping  to  cheer  him  up,  for  the  poor  Knight  seemed 
quite  low-spirited  about  it. 

"  It  began  with  blotting-paper,"  the  Knight  answered 
with  a  groan. 

"  That  wouldn't  be  very  nice,  I'm  afraid " 

"  Not  very  nice  alone,"  he  interrupted,  quite  eagerly : 
u  but  you've  no  idea  what  a  difference  it  makes,  mixing 
it  with  other  things such  as  gunpowder  and  sealing- 
wax.  And  here  I  must  leave  you."  They  had  just 
come  to  the  end  of  the  wood. 

Alice  could  only  look  puzzled :  she  was  thinking  of  the 
pudding. 


*&• 


a 


You  are  sad,"  the  Knight  said  in  an  anxious  tone: 
tl  let  me  sing  you  a  song  to  comfort  you." 

"  Is  it  very  long?  "  Alice  asked,  for  she  had  heard  a 
good  deal  of  poetry  that  day. 

"  It's  long,"  said  the  Knight,   "  but  it's  very,  very 

beautiful.     Everybody  that  hears  me  sing  it either 

it  brings  the  tears  into  their  eyes,  or  else — : — " 

"  Or  else  what  ?  "  said  Alice,  for  the  Knight  had 
made  a  sudden  pause. 

"  Or  else  it  doesn't,  you  know.  The  name  of  the 
song  is  called  '  Haddock's  Eyes.''  " 

"  Oh,  that's  the  name  of  the  song,  is  it  ?  "  Alice  said, 
trying  to  feel  interested. 


"  IT'S  MY  OWN  INVENTION."  243 

"  No,  you  don't  understand,"  the  Knight  said,  look- 
ing a  little  vexed.  "  That's  what  the  name  is  called. 
The  name  really  is  '  The  Aged  Aged  Man.7  " 

"  Then  I  ought  to  have  said  '  That's  what  the  song 
is  called  '  ?  "  Alice  corrected  herself. 

"  No,  you  oughtn't :  that's  quite  another  thing  ?  The 
song  is  called  '  Ways  And  Means '  :  but  that's  only 
what  it's  called,  vou  know !  " 

"  Well,  what  is  the  song,  then  ?  "  said  Alice,  who 
was  by  this  time  completely  bewildered. 

"  I  was  coming  to  that,"  the  Knight  said.  "  The 
song  really  is  '  A-sitting  On  A  Gate  ' :  and  the  tune's 
my  own  invention." 

So  saying,  he  stopped  his  horse  and  let  the  reins 
fall  on  its  neck:  then,  slowly  beating  time  with  one 
hand,  and  with  a  faint  smile  lighting  up  his  gentle 
foolish  face,  as  if  he  enjoyed  the  music  of  his  song,  he 
began. 

Of  all  the  strange  things  that  Alice  saw  in  her  jour- 
ney Through  The  Looking-Glass,  this  was  the  one  that 
she  always  remembered  most  clearly.  Years  after- 
ward she  could  bring  the  whole  scene  back  again,  as  if 

it  had  been  only  yesterday the  mild  blue  eyes  and 

kindly  smile  of  the  Knight the  setting  sun  gleam- 
ing through  his  hair,  and  shining  on  his  armor  in  a 

blaze   of   light   that   quite    dazzled     her the   horse 

quietly  moving  about,  with  the  reins  hanging  loose  on 

his  neck,   cropping  the  grass   at  her  feet and  the 

black  shadows  of  the  forest  behind all  this  she  took 

in  like  a  picture,  as,  with  one  hand  shading  her  eyes, 
she  leaned  against  a  tree,  watching  the  strange  pair, 
and  listening,  in  a  half  dream,  to  the  melancholy  music 
of  the  song. 

"  But  the  tune  isn't  his  own  invention,"  she  said  to 
herself :  "  it's  '  I  give  thee  all,  I  can  no  more7  "     She 


944  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

stood  and  listened  very  attentively,  but  no  tears  eame 
into  her  eves. 


'  I'll  tell  thee  every  tiling  I  can 
There's  little  to  relate. 
I  saw  an  aged  aged  man, 
A-sitting  on  a  gate. 
1  Who  are  you,  aged  man?  '  I  said. 
'And  how  is  it  you  live  ?  ' 
And  his  answer  trickled  through  my  head 
Like  water  through  a  sieve. 

"  He  said  '  I  look  for  butterflies 
That  sleep  among  the  wheat: 
I  make  them  into  mutton  pies 
And  sell  them  in  the  street. 
I  sell  them  unto  men/  he  said, 

'  Who  sail  on  stormy  seas; 
And  that's  the  way  I  get  my  bread — 
A  trifle,  if  you  please/ 

"  But  I  teas  tli  inking  of  a  plan 

To  dye  one's  ivhiskers  green, 
And  always  use  so  large  a  fan 

That  they  could  not  be  seen. 
So,  having  no  reply  to  give 

To  what  the  old  man  said, 
I  cried  '  Come,  tell  me  how  you  live!9 

And  thumped  him  on  the  head. 

"  His  accents  mild  took  up  the  tale: 
He  said  '  I  go  my  ways, 
TAnd  when  I  find  a  mountain-rill, 
I  set  it  in  a  blaze; 


"  IT'S  MY  OWN  INVENTION." 

And  thence  they  make  a  stuff  they  call 

Rowlands'  Macassar  Oil — 
Yet  twopence-halfpenny  is  all 

They  give  me  for  my  toil.' 

"  But  I  was  thinking  of  a  way 
To  feed  oneself  on  hatter, 
And  so  go  on  from  day  to  day 

Getting  a  little  fatter. 
I  shook  him  well  from  side  to  side, 
Until  his  face  was  blue: 
i  Come,  tell  me  how  you  live,'  I  cried, 
'  And  what  it  is  you  do!  ' 


245 


"  He  said  '  I  hunt  for  haddocks'  eyes 

Among  the  heather  bright, 
And  work  them  into  waistcoat-buttons 

In  the  silent  night. 
And  these  I  do  not  sell  for  gold 

Or  coin  of  silvery  shine, 
'But  for  a  copper  halfpenny, 

And  that  will  purchase  nine. 


246  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

"  '  I  sometimes  dig  for  buttered  rolls, 
Or  set  limed  twigs  for  crabs; 
I  sometimes  search  the  grassy  knolls 

For  wheels  of  Hansom-cabs. 
And  that's  the  way  '  (he  gave  a  wink) 

'By  which  I  get  my  wealth — 
And  very  gladly  will  I  drink 
Your  Honor's  noble  health,' 

"  I  heard  him  then,  for  I  had  just 

Completed  my  design 
To  keep  the  Menai  bridge  from  rust 

By  boiling  it  in  wine. 
I  thanked  him  much  for  telling  me 

The.  way  he  got  his  ivealth, 
But  chiefly  for  his  wish  that  he 

Might  drink  my  noble  health. 

"  And  now,  if  e'er  by  chance  I  put 

My  fingers  into  glue, 
Or  madly  squeeze  a  right-hand  foot 

Into  a  left-hand  shoe, 
Or  if  I  drop  upon  my  toe 

A  very  heavy  weight, 
I  weep,  for  it  reminds  me  so 
Of  that  old  man  I  used  to  know — 
Whose  look  was  mild,  ivhose  speech  was  slow 
Whose  hair  was  whiter  than  the  snow, 
Whose  face  was  very  like  a  crow, 
With  eyes,  like  cinders,  all  aglow, 
Who  seemed  distracted  with  his  woe, 
Who  rocked  his  body  to  and  fro, 
And  muttered  mumblingly  and  low, 
As  if  his  mouth  were  full  of  dough, 


"IT'S  MY  OWN  INVENTION."  247 

yVho  snorted  like  a  buffalo 


That  summer  evening,  long  ago, 
A-sitting  on  a  gate." 

As  the  Knight  sang  the  last  words  of  the  ballad,  he 
gathered  up  the  reins,  and  turned  his  horse's  head  along 
the  road  by  which  they  had  come.  "  You've  only  a  few 
yards  to  go,"  he  said,  "  down  the  hill  and  over  that  little 

brook,  and  then  you'll  be  a  Queen But  you'll  stay 

and  see  rne  off  first  ?  "  he  added  as  Alice  turned  with  an 
eager  look  in  the  direction  to  which  he  pointed.  "  I 
shan't  be  long.  You'll  wait  and  wave  your  handker- 
chief when  I  get  to  that  turn  in  the  road  \  I  think  it'll 
encourage  me,  you  see." 

"  Of  course  I'll  wait,"  said  Alice :  "  and  thank  you 

very  much  for  coming  so  far and  for  the  song 

I  liked  it  very  much." 

"  I  hope  so,"  the  Knight  said  doubtfully :  "  but  you 
didn't  cry  so  much  as  I  thought  you  would." 

So  they  shook  hands,  and  then  the  Knight  rode  slowly 
away  into  the  forest.  "  It  won't  take  long  to  see  him 
off,  I  expect,"  Alice  said  to  herself,  as  she  stood  watch- 
ing him.  "  There  he  goes  !  Eight  on  his  head  as  usual ! 
However,  he  gets  on  pretty  easily that  comes  of  hav- 
ing so  many  things  hung  round  the  horse "     So  she 

went  on  talking  to  herself,  as  she  watched  the  horse  walk- 
ing leisurely  along  the  road,  and  the  Knight  tumbling 
off,  first  on  one  side  and  then  on  the  other.  After  the 
fourth  or  fifth  tumble  he  reached  the  turn,  and  then  she 
waved  her  handkerchief  to  him,  and  waited  till  he  was 
out  of  sight. 

"  I  hope  it  encouraged  him,"  she  said,  as  she  turned 
to  run  down  the  hill :  "  and  now  for  the  last  brook,  and 
to  be  a  Queen !     How  grand  it  sounds !  "     A  very  few 


24:8 


THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 


steps  brought  her 
to  the  edge  of 
the  brook.  "  The 
Eighth  Square  at 
last !  '  she  cried  as 
she  bounded  across, 
and  threw  herself 
down  to  rest  on  a 
lawn  as  soft  as  moss, 
with  little  flower 
beds  dotted  about  it 
here    and    there. 

"Oh,  how  glad  I 
am  to  get  here ! 
And  what  is  this 
on  my  head?  '  she 
exclaimed  in  a  tone 
of  dismay,  as  she 
put  her  hands  up  to  something  very  heavy,  that  fitted 
tight  all  round  her  head. 

"  But  how  can  it  have  got  there  without  my  know- 
ing it?  "  she  said  to  herself,  as  she  lifted  it  off,  and 
set  it  on  her  lap  to  make  out  what  it  could  possibly 
be. 

It  was  a  golden  crown. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

QUEEN    ALICE. 

"  Well,  this  is  grand !  "  said  Alice.  "  I  never  ex- 
pected I  should  be  a  Queen  so  soon and  I'll  tell  you 

what  it  is,  your  Majesty,"  she  went  on  in  a  severe  tone 
(she  was  always  rather  fond  of  scolding  herself,)  "  it'll 
never  do  for  you  to  be  lolling  about  on  the  grass  like 
that !    Queens  have  to  be  dignified,  you  know  !  " 

So  she  got  up  and  walked  about rather  stiffly  just 

at  first,  as  she  was  afraid  that  the  crown  might  come 
off:  but  she  comforted  herself  with  the  thought  that 
there  was  nobody  to  see  her,  "  and  if  I  really  am  a 
Queen,"  she  said  as  she  sat  down  again,  "  I  shall  be 
able  to  manage  it  quite  well  in  time." 

Everything  was  happening  so  oddly  that  she  didn't 
feel  a  bit  surprised  at  finding  the  Red  Queen  and  the 
White  Queen  sitting  close  to  her,  one  on  each  side :  she 
would  have  liked  very  much  to  ask  them  how  they  came 
there,  but  she  feared  it  would  not  be  quite  civil.  How- 
ever, there  would  be  no  harm,  she  thought,  in  asking  if 

the  game  was  over.     "  Please,  would  you  tell  me " 

she  began,  looking  timidly  at  the  Red  Queen. 

"  Speak  when  you're  spoken  to !  "  the  Queen  sharply 
interrupted  her. 

"  But  if  everybody  obeyed  that  rule,"  said  Alice, 
who  was  always  ready  for  a  little  argument,  "  and  if 
you  only  spoke  when  you  were  spoken  to,  and  the  other 
person  always  waited  for  you  to  begin,  you  see  nobody 
would  ever  say  anything,  so  that " 

"  Ridiculous !  "  cried  the  Queen.     "  Why,  don't  you 

249 


250  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

see,  child "  here  she  broke  off  with  a  frown,  and, 

after  thinking  for  a  minute,  suddenly  changed  the  sub- 
ject of  the  conversation.  "  What  do  you  mean  by  '  if 
you  really  are  a  Queen  '  ?  What  right  have  you  to  call 
yourself  so  ?  You  can't  be  a  Queen,  you  know,  till 
you've  passed  the  proper  examination.  And  the  sooner 
we  begin  it,  the  better." 

"  I  only  said  '  if ' !  "  poor  Alice  pleaded  in  a  piteous 
tone. 

The  two  Queens  looked  at  each  other,  and  the  Red 
Queen  remarked,  with  a  little  shudder,  "  She  says  she 
only  said  <  if  ' " 

"  But  she  said  a  great  deal  more  than  that !  "  the 
White  Queen  moaned,  wringing  her  hands.  "  Oh,  ever 
so  much  more  than  that !  " 

"  So  you  did,   you  know,"  the  Red   Queen   said  to 

Alice.     "  Always  speak  the  truth think  before  you 

speak and  write  it  down  afterward." 

"  I'm  sure  I  didn't  mean "  Alice  was  beginning, 

but  the  Red  Queen  interrupted  her  impatiently. 

"  That's  just  what  I  complain  of!  You  should  have 
meant !  What  do  you  suppose  is  the  use  of  a  child  with- 
out any  meaning?  Even  a  joke  should  have  some  mean- 
ing  and  a  child's  more  important  than   a   joke,   I 

hope.  You  couldn't  deny  that,  even  if  you  tried  with 
both  hands." 

"  I  don't  deny  things  with  my  hands,'''  Alice  objected. 

"  Nobody  said  you  did,"  said  the  Red  Queen.  "  I 
said  you  couldn't  if  you  tried." 

"  She's  in  that  state  of  mind,"  said  the  White  Queen, 

"  that  she  wants  to  deny  something only  she  doesn't 

know  what  to  deny !  " 

"  A  nasty,  vicious  temper,"  the  Red  Queen  remarked  ; 
and  then  there  was  an  uncomfortable  silence  for  a 
minute  or  two. 


QUEEN  ALICE.  251 

The  Red  Queen  broke  the  silence  by  saying  to  the 
White  Queen,  "  I  invite  you  to  Alice's  dinner-party  this 
afternoon." 

The  White  Queen  smiled  feebly,  and  said,  "  And  I 
invite  you." 

"  I  didn't  know  I  was  to  have  a  party  at  all,"  said 
Alice ;  "  but  if  there  is  to  be  one,  I  think  I  ought  to 
invite  the  guests." 

"  We  gave  you  the  opportunity  of  doing  it,"  the  Red 
Queen  remarked :  "  but  I  dare  say  you've  not  had  many 
lessons  in  manners  yet  %  " 

"  Manners  are  not  taught  in  lessons,"  said  Alice. 
"  Lessons  teach  you  to  do  sums,  and  things  of  that  sort." 

"  Can  you  do  Addition  ?  "  the  White  Queen  asked. 
"  What's  one  and  one  and  one  and  one  and  one  and  one 
and  one  and  one  and  one  and  one  ?  " 

I  don't  know,"  said  Alice.     "  I  lost  count." 
She  can't  do  Addition,"  the  Red  Queen  interrupted. 
a  Can  you  do  Subtraction  ?    Take  nine  from  eight." 

"  Nine  from  eight  I  can't,  you  know,"  Alice  replied, 
very  readily :  "  but " 

"  She  can't  do  Subtraction,"  said  the  White  Queen. 
"  Can  you  do  Division  ?  Divide  a  loaf  by  a  knife — : — 
what's  the  answer  to  that  ?  " 

"  I  suppose  "  Alice  was  beginning,  but  the  Red 

Queen  answered  for  her.  "  Bread-and-butter,  of  course. 
Try  another  Subtraction  sum.  Take  a  bone  from  a  dog: 
what  remains  ?  " 

Alice  considered.     "  The  bone  wouldn't  remain,  of 

course,  if  I  took  it and  the  dog  wouldn't  remain ; 

it  would  come  to  bite  me and  I'm  sure  I  shouldn't 

remain !  " 

"  Then  you  think  nothing  would  remain  ?  "  said  the 
Red  Queen. 

"  I  think  that's  the  answer." 


a 

iC 


252 


THROUGH  THE  LCOKING-GLASS. 


"  Wrong,  as  usual,"  said  the  Red  Queen,  "  the  dog's 
temper  would  remain." 

"  But  I  don't  see  how " 

"  Why,  look  here !  "  the  Red  Queen  cried.  "  The 
dog  would  lose  its  temper,  wouldn't  it?  " 

"  Perhaps  it  would,"  Alice  replied,  cautiously. 
1  Then  if  the  dog  wont  away,  its  temper  would  re- 
main !  "  the  Queen  exclaimed,  triumphantly. 

Alice  said,  as  gravely  as  she  could,  "  They  might  go 
different  ways."  But  she  couldn't  help  thinking  to  her- 
self, "  What  dreadful  nonsense  we  are  talking!  ': 

"She  can't  do  sums  a  bit!"  the  Queens  said  to- 
gether, with  great  emphasis. 


"Can  you  do  sums?"  Alice  said,  turning  suddenly 
on  the  White  Queen,  for  she  didn't  like  being  found 
fault  with  so  much. 

The  Queen  gasped  and  shut  her  eyes.      "  I  can  do 

Addition,"   she  said,   "  if  you  give  me  time but  I 

can't  do  Subtraction  under  any  circumstances !  ' 

"  Of  course  you  know  your  A  B  C  ?  "  said  the  Red 
Queen. 

"  To  be  sure  I  do,"  said  Alice. 


QUEEN  ALICE.  253 

"  So  do  I,"  the  White  Queen  whispered :  "  we'll  often 
say  it  over  together,  dear.  And  I'll  tell  you  a  secret 
1  can  read  words  of  one  letter !     Isn't  that  grand  ? 


However,  don't  be  discouraged.  You'll  come  to  it  in 
time." 

Here  the  Red  Queen  began  again.  "  Can  you  answer 
useful  questions  ?  "  she  said.     "  How  is  bread  made  ? '' 

"I  know  that!"  Alice  cried,  eagerly.  "You  take 
some  flour " 

"  Where  do  you  pick  the  flower  ?  "  the  White  Queen 
asked.     "  In  a  garden,  or  in  the  hedges  ?  " 

"  Well,  it  isn't  picked  at  all,"  Alice  explained :  "  it's 
ground- — -" 


a 


(C 


How    many    acres    of   ground  ? ';    said    the    White 
Queen.      "  You   mustn't   leave    out   so   many   things." 

"  Fan  her  head !  "  the  Red  Queen  anxiously  inter- 
rupted. "  She'll  be  feverish  after  so  much  thinking." 
So  they  set  to  work  and  fanned  her  with  bunches  of 
leaves,  till  she  had  to  beg  them  to  leave  off,  it  blew  her 
hair  about  so. 

She's  all  right  again  now,"  said  the  Red  Queen. 
Do  you  know  Languages  ?    What's  the  French  for  fid- 
dle-de-dee ?  " 

"  Fiddle-de-dee's  not  English,"  Alice  replied  gravely. 

"  Who  ever  said  it  was  ?  "  said  the  Red  Queen. 

Alice  thought  she  saw  a  way  out  of  the  difficulty  this 
time.  "  If  you'll  tell  me  what  language  '  fiddle-de-dee  ' 
is,  I'll  tell  you  the  French  for  it !  "  she  exclaimed  tri- 
umphantly. 

But  the  Red  Queen  drew  herself  up  rather  stiffly, 
and  said  "  Queens  never  make  bargains." 

"  I  wish  Queens  never  asked  questions,"  Alice  thought 
to  herself. 

"  Don't  let  us  quarrel,"  the  White  Queen  said  in  an 
anxious  tone.     "  What  is  the  cause  of  lightning  ?  " 


254  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 


a 


The  cause  of  lightning,"  Alice  said  very  decidedly, 
for  she  felt  quite  certain  about  this,  "  is  the  thunder- 


no,  no !  "  she  hastily  corrected  herself.  "  I  meant  the 
other  way." 

"It's  too  late  to  correct  it,"  said  the  Red  Queen: 
"  when  you've  once  said  a  thing,  that  fixes  it,  and  you 
must  take  the  consequences." 

"  Which   reminds  me "   the  White   Queen   said, 

looking  down  and  nervously  clasping  and  unclasping 
her  hands,  "  we  had  such  a  thunderstorm  last  Tuesday 
1  mean  one  of  the  last  sets  of  Tuesdays,  you  know." 

Alice  was  puzzled.  "  In  our  country,"  she  remarked, 
"  there's  only  one  day  at  a  time." 

The  Red  Queen  said  "  That's  a  poor  thin  way  of 
doing  things.  JSTow  here,  we  mostly  have  days  and 
nights  two  or  three  at  a  time,  and  sometimes  in  the  win- 
ter  we   take   as  many   as   five   nights   together for 

warmth,  you  know." 

"Are  five  nights  warmer  than  one  night,  then  % ': 
Alice  ventured  to  ask. 

"  Five  times  as  warm,  of  course." 

"  But  they  should  be  five  times  as  cold,  by  the  same 
rule " 

"  Just  so !  "  cried  the  Red  Queen.     "  Five  times  as 

warm,  and  five  times  as  cold just  as  I'm  five  times 

as  rich  as  you  are,  and  five  times  as  clever!  ' 

Alice  sighed  and  gave  it  up.  "  It's  exactly  like  a 
riddle  with  no  answer !  "  she  thought. 

"  Humpty  Dumpty  saw  it  too,"  the  White  Queen 
went  on  in  a  low  voice,  more  as  if  she  were  talking 
to  herself.  "  He  came  to  the  door  with  a  corkscrew  in 
his  hand " 

"  What  did  he  want  ?  "  said  the  Red  Queen. 

"  He  said  he  would  come  in,"  the  White  Queen  went 
on,  "  because  he  was  looking  for  a  hippopotamus.    Now, 


QUEEN  ALICE.  255 

as  it  happened,  there  wasn't  such  a  thing  in  the  house, 
that  morning." 

"  Is  there  generally  ?  "  Alice  asked  in  an  astonished 
tone. 

"  Well,  only  on  Thursdays,"  said  the  Queen. 

"  I  know  what  he  came  for,"  said  Alice,  "  he  wanted 
to  punish  the  fish,  because " 

Here  the  White  Queen  began  again.  "  It  was  such 
a  thunderstorm,  you  can't  think!  "  ("  She  never  could, 
you  know,"  said  the  Red  Queen.)     "And  part  of  the 

roof  came  off,  and  ever  so  much  thunder  got  in and 

it  went  rolling  round  the  room  in  great  lumps and 

knocking  over  the  tables  and  things till  I  was  so 

frightened,  I  couldn't  remember  my  own  name !  ' 

Alice  thought  to  herself,  "  I  never  should  try  to  re- 
member my  name  in  the  middle  of  an  accident.  Where 
would  be  the  use  of  it?  "  but  she  did  not  say  this  aloud, 
for  fear  of  hurting  the  poor  Queen's  feelings. 

"  Your  Majesty  must  excuse  her,"  the  Red  Queen 
said  to  Alice,  taking  one  of  the  White  Queen's  hands  in 
her  own,  and  gently  stroking  it:  "  she  means  well,  but 
she  can't  help  saying  foolish  things,  as  a  general 
rule." 

The  White  Queen  looked  timidly  at  Alice,  who  felt 
she  ought  to  say  something  kind,  but  really  couldn't 
think  of  anything  at  the  moment. 

"  She  never  was  really  well  brought  up,"  the  Red 
Queen  went  on :  "  but  it's  amazing  how  good-tempered 
she  is !  Pat  her  on  the  head,  and  see  how  pleased  she'll 
be !  ':     But  this  was  more  than  Alice  had  courage  to  do. 

"  A  little  kindness and  putting  her  hair  in  papers 

would  do  wonders  with  her " 

The  White  Queen  gave  a  deep  sigh,  and  laid  her 
head  on  Alice's  shoulder.  "  I  am  so  sleepy !  "  she 
moaned. 


256 


THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 


u 


She's    tired,    poor   thing !  "   said   the   Red    Queen. 

"  Smooth  her  hair lend  her  your  nightcap and 

sing  her  a  soothing  lullaby." 

"  I  haven't  got  a  nightcap  with  me,"  said  Alice,  as 
she  tried  to  obey  the  first  direction :  "  and  I  don't  know 
any  soothing  lullabies.'" 

"  I  must  do  it  myself,  then,"  said  the  Red  Queen, 
and  she  began : 

"  Hvsh-a-by  lady,  in  Alice's  lap! 

Till  the  feast's  ready,  we've  time  for  a  nap: 

When  the  feast's  over,  we'll  go  to  the  ball — 

Bed  Queen,  and  White  Queen,  and  Alice,  and  all! 


"  And  now  you  know  the  words,"  she  added  as  she 
put  her  head  down  on  Alice's  other  shoulder,  "  just 
sing  it  through  to  me.  I'm  getting  sleepy  too."  In 
another  moment  both  Queens  were  fast  asleep,  and  snor- 
ing loud. 

"  What  am  I  to  do  ?  "  exclaimed  Alice,  looking  about 
in  great  perplexity,  as  first  one  round  head,  and  then 
the  other,  rolled  down  from  her  shoulder,  and  lay  like 
a  heavy  lump  in  her  lap.  "  I  don't  think  it  ever  hap- 
pened before,  that  any  one  had  to  take  care  of  two 
Queens  asleep  at  once !     No,  not  in  all  the  History  of 


QUEEN  ALICE.  257 

England it  couldn't,  you  know,  because  there  never 

"was  more  than  one  Queen  at  a  time.  Do  wake  up,  you 
heavy  things !  "  she  went  on  in  an  impatient  tone ;  but 
there  was  no  answer  but  a  gentle  snoring. 

The  snoring  got  more  distinct  every  minute,  and 
sounded  more  like  a  tune :  at  last  she  could  even  make 
out  words,  and  she  listened  so  eagerly  that,  when  the 
two  great  heads  suddenly  vanished  from  her  lap,  she 
hardly  missed  them. 

She  was  standing  before  an  arched  doorway  over 
which  were  the  words  QUEEN  ALICE  in  large  let- 
ters, and  on  each  side  of  the  arch  there  was  a  bell- 
handle  ;  one  was  marked  "  Visitors'  Bell,"  and  the 
other  "  Servants'  Bell." 

"  I'll  wait  till  the  song's  over,"  thought  Alice,  "  and 

then  I'll  ring  the the which  bell  must  I  ring?  " 

she  went  on,  very  much  puzzled  by  the  names.  "  I'm 
not  a  visitor,  and  I'm  not  a  servant.  There  ought  to  be 
one  marked  '  Queen,'  you  know " 

Just  then  the  door  opened  a  little  way,  and  a  creature 
with  a  long  beak  put  its  head  Out  for  a  moment  and 
said  "  No  admittance  till  the  week  after  next !  "  and 
shut  the  door  again  with  a  bang. 

Alice  knocked  and  rang  in  vain  for  a  long  time,  but 
at  last  a  very  old  Frog,  who  was  sitting  under  a  tree, 
got  up  and  hobbled  slowly  toward  her:  he  was  dressed 
in  bright  yellow,  and  had  enormous  boots  on. 

"  What  is  it,  now  ?  "  the  Frog  said  in  a  deep,  hoarse 
whisper. 

Alice  turned  round,  ready  to  find  fault  with  anybody. 
"  Where's  the  servant  whose  business  it  is  to  answer 
the  door  ?  "  she  began  angrily. 

"  Which  door  ?  "  said  the  Frog. 

Alice   almost   stamped   with   irritation   at  the   slow 
drawl  in  which  he  spoke.     "  This  door,  of  course!  " 
17    < 


25$ 


THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 


The  Frog  looked  at  the  door  with  his  large  dull 
eyes  for  a  minute :  then  he  went  nearer  and  rubbed  it 
with  his  thumb,  as  if  he  were  trying  whether  the 
paint  would  come  off ;  then  he  looked  at  Alice. 

"  To  answer  the  door  ?  "  he  said.  "  What's  it  been 
asking  of  ?  "  He  was  so  hoarse  that  Alice  could  scarce- 
ly hear  him. 


u  I  don't  know  what  you  mean,"  she  said. 

"  I  speaks  English,  doesn't  I  ?  "  the  Frog  went  on. 
<l  Or  are  you  deaf  ?    What  did  it  ask  you  ?  " 

"  Nothing !  '  Alice  said  impatiently.  "  I've  been 
knocking  at  it !  " 


QUEEN  ALICE.  259 

"  Shouldn't  do  that shouldn't  do  that "  the 

Frog  muttered.  "  Wexes  it,  you  know."  Then  he 
went  up  and  gave  the  door  a  kick  with  one  of  his 
great  feet.  "  You  let  it  alone,"  he  panted  out,  as  he 
hobbled  back  to  his  tree,  "  and  it'll  let  you  alone,  you 
know." 

At  this  moment  the  door  was  flung  open,  and  a  shrill 
voice  was  heard  singing: 

"  To  the  Looking-Glass  world  it  was  Alice  that  said, 
'  I've  a  sceptre  in  hand,  I've  a  crown  on  my  head; 
Let  the  Looking-Glass  creatures,  whatever  they  be> 
Come   and   dine   with   the  Bed   Queen,   the    White 
Queen,  and  me  !  '  " 

And  hundreds  of  voices  joined  in  the  chorus: 

"  Then  fill  up  the  glasses  as  quick  as  you  can, 
And  sprinkle  the  table  with  buttons  and  bran: 
Put  cats  in  the  coffee,  and  mice  in  the  tea — 
And  welcome  Queen  Alice  with  thirty-times-three ! '  w 

Then  followed  a  confused  noise  of  cheering,  and 
Alice  thought  to  herself  "  Thirty  times  three  makes 
ninety.  I  wonder  if  any  one's  counting  ?  "  in  a  minute 
there  was  silence  again,  and  the  same  shrill  voice  sang 
another  verse : 


a  i 


0    Looking-Glass    creatures,'    quoth   Alice,    '  draw 
near! 
'Tis  an  honor  to  see  me,  a  favor  to  hear: 
'Tis  a  privilege  high  to  have  dinner  and  tea 
Along  with  the  Red  Queen,  the  White  Queen,  and 
me!'" 


260  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

Then  came  the  chorus  again : — 

"  Then  fill  up  the  glasses  with  treacle  and  ink 
Or  anything  else  that  is  pleasant  to  drink; 
Mix  sand  with  the  cider,  and  wool  with  the  wine — ■ 
And  welcome  Queen  Alice  with  ninety-times-nine !  " 


a 


"  Ninety  times  nine!"  Alice    repeated    in    despair. 

Oh    that'll    never    be    done!       I'd    better    go    in    at 

once "  and  in  she  went,  and  there  was  a  dead  silence 

the  moment  she  appeared. 

Alice  glanced  nervously  along  the  table,  as  she  walked 
up  the  large  hall,  and  noticed  that  there  were  about  fifty 
guests,  of  all  kinds :  some  were  animals,  some  birds, 
and  there  were  even  a  few  flowers  among  them. 
"  I'm  glad  they've  come  without  waiting  to  be  asked," 
she  thought :  "  I  should  never  have  known  who  were 
the  right  people  to  invite!  " 

There  were  three  chairs  at  the  head  of  the  table ; 
the  Tied  and  White  Queens  had  already  taken  two  of 
them,  but  the  middle  one  was  empty.  Alice  sat  down 
in  it,  rather  uncomfortable  at  the  silence,  and  longing 
for  some  one  to  speak. 

At  last  the  Red  Queen  began.  "  You've  missed  the 
soup  and  fish,"  she  said.  "  Put  on  the  joint!  '  And 
the  waiters  set  a  leg  of  mutton  before  Alice,  who  looked 
at  it  rather  anxiously,  as  she  had  never  had  to  carve 
a  joint  before. 

"  You  look  a  little  shy ;  let  me  introduce  you  to  that 
leg  of  mutton,"  said  the  Red  Queen.  "  Alice Mut- 
ton ;   Mutton Alice."      The   leg  of  mutton  got  up 

in  the  dish  and  made  a  little  bow  to  Alice;  and  Alice 
returned  the  bow,  not  knowing  whether  to  be  frightened 
or  amused. 

"  May  I  give  you  a  slice  ?  "  she  said,  taking  up  the 


QUEEN  ALICE. 


261 


knife  and  fork,  and 
looking  from  one 
Queen  to  the  other. 

' '  Certainly  not, ' ' 
the  Red  Queen  said, 
very  decidedly:  "  it 
isn't  etiquette  to  cut 
any  one  you've  been 
introduced  to.  Re- 
move the  joint !  ' ' 
And  the  waiters 
carried  it  off,  and 
brought  a  large 
plum -pudding  in  its 
place. 

"I  won't  be  introduced  to  the  pudding,  please," 
Alice  said  rather  hastily,  "  or  we  shall  get  no  dinner 
at  all.     May  I  give  you  some?  " 

But  the  Red  Queen  looked  sulky,  and  growled  "  Pud- 
ding  Alice  ;  Alice- — • — Pudding.  Remove  the  pud- 
ding !  "  and  the  waiters  took  it  away  so  quickly  that 
Alice  couldn't  return  its  bow. 

However,  she  didn't  see  why  the  Red  Queen  should 
be  the  only  one  to  give  orders,  so,  as  an  experiment,  she 
called  out  "  Waiter !  Bring  back  the  pudding !  "  and 
there  it  was  again  in  a  moment,  like  a  conjuring-trick. 
It  was  so  large  that  she  couldn't  help  feeling  a  little 
shy  with  it,  as  she  had  been  with  the  mutton ;  however, 
she  conquered  her  shyness  by  a  great  effort,  and  cut  a 
slice  and  handed  it  to  the  Red  Queen. 

"  What  impertinence !  "  said  the  Pudding.  "  I  won- 
der how  vou'd  like  it,  if  I  were  to  cut  a  slice  out  of 
you,  you  creature !  " 


262  THROUGH  TEE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

It  spoke  in  a  thick,  suety  sort  of  voice,  and  Alice 
hadn't  a  word  to  say  in  reply:  she  could  only  sit  and 
look  at  it  and  gasp. 

"  Make  a  remark,"  said  the  Red  Queen :  "  it's  ridic- 
ulous to  leave  all  the  conversation  to  the  pudding!  " 

"  Do  you  know,  I've  had  such  a  quantity  of  poetry 
repented  to  me  to-day,"  Alice  began,  a  little  frightened 
at  finding  that,  the  moment  she  opened  her  lips,  there 
was  dead  silence,   and  all  eyes  were  fixed  upon  her; 

"  and  it's  a  very  curious  thing,  I  think every  poem 

was  tbout  fishes  in  some  way.  Do  you  know  why 
they're  so  fond  of  fishes,  all  about  here  ?  " 

She  spoke  to  the  Red  Queen,  whose  answer  was  a 
little  wide  of  the  mark.  "  As  to  fishes,"  she  said,  very 
slowly  and  solemnly,  putting  her  mouth  close  to  Alice's 

ear,  "  her  White  Majesty  knows  a  lovely  riddle all 

in  poetry all  about  fishes.     Shall  she  repeat  it  ? ': 

"  Her  Red  Majesty's  very  kind  to  mention  it,"  the 
White  Queen  murmured  into  Alice's  other  ear,  in  a 
voice  like  the  cooing  of  a  pigeon.  "  It  would  be  such 
a  treat!     May  I?" 

"  Please  do,"  Alice  said  very  politely. 

The  White  Queen  laughed  with  delight,  and  stroked 
Alice's  cheek.     Then  she  began  : 

"  '  First,  the  fish  must  be  caught. 
That  is  easy:  a  baby,  I  think,  could  have  caught  H, 

'  Next,  the  fish  must  be  bought.' 
That  is  easy:  a  penny,  I  think,  would  have  bought  it. 

"  l  Now  cook  me  the  fish ! ' 
That  is  easy,  and  will  not  take  more  than  a  minute. 

'  Let  it  lie  in  a  dish!  ' 
That  is  easy,  because  it  already  is  in  it. 


QUEEN  ALICE.  263 

"  '  Bring  it  here !    Let  me  sup ! ' 
It  is  easy  to  set  such  a  dish  on  the  table. 

'  Take   the   dish-cover  up ! ' 
Ah,  that  is  so  hard  that  I  fear  Fm  unable. 


"  For  it  holds  it  like  glue 

Holds  the  lid  to  the  dish,  while  it  lies  in  the  middle: 

Which  is  easiest  to  do, 
Undish-cover  the  fish,  or  dishcover  the  riddle  ?  " 


"  Take  a  minute  to  think  about  it,  and  then  guess/' 
said  the  Red  Queen.     "  Meanwhile,  we'll  drink  your 

health Qneen  Alice's  health !  "  she  screamed  at  the 

top  of  her  voice,  and  all  guests  began  drinking  it 
directly,  and  very  queerly  they  managed  it :  some  of 
them  put  their  glasses  upon  their  heads  like  extin- 
guishers, and  drank  all  that  trickled  down  their  faces 

others  upset  the  decanters,  and  drank  the  wine  as 

it  ran  off  the  edges  of  the  table and  three  of  them 

(who  looked  like  kangaroos)  scrambled  into  the  dish 
of  roast  mutton,  and  began  eagerly  lapping  up  the 
gravy,  "  just  like  pigs  in  a  trough !  "  thought  Alice. 

"  You  ought  to  return  thanks  in  a  neat  speech,"  the 
Red  Queen  said,  frowning  at  Alice  as  she  spoke. 

"  We  must  support  you,  you  know,"  the  White  Queen 
whispered,  as  Alice  got  up  to  do  it,  very  obediently,  but 
a  little  frightened. 

"  Thank  you  very  much,"  she  whispered  in  reply, 
"  but  I  can  do  quite  well  without." 

"  That  wouldn't  be  at  all  the  thing,"  the  Red  Queen 
said  very  decidedly :  so  Alice  tried  to  submit  to  it  with  a 
good  grace. 

("  And  they  did  push  so !  "  she  said  afterward,  when 
she  was  telling  her  sister  the  history  of  the  feast.    "  You 


204  THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 

would   have    thought   they    wanted   to   squeeze    me 

flat!") 

In  fact  it  was  rather  difficult  for  her  to  keep  in  her 
place  while  she  made  her  speech  :  the  two  Queens  pushed 
her  so,  one  on  each  side,  that  they  nearly  lifted  her  up 
into  the  air:  "I  rise  to  return  thanks "  Alice  be- 
gan: and  she  really  did  rise  as  she  spoke,  several  inches; 
but  she  got  hold  of  the  edge  of  the  table,  and  managed 
to  pull  herself  down  again. 

"  Take  care  of  yourself !  "  screamed  the  White  Queen, 
seizing  Alice's  hair  with  both  her  hands.  "  Something's 
going  to  happen  !  " 

And  then  (as  Alice  afterward  described  it)  all  sorts 
of  thing?  happened  in  a  moment.  The  candles  all  grew 
up  to  the  ceiling,  looking  something  like  a  bed  of  rushes 
with  fireworks  at  the  top.  As  to  the  bottles,  they  each 
took  a  pair  of  plates,  which  they  hastily  fitted  on  as 
wings,  and  so,  with  forks  for  less,  went  fluttering  about 
in  all  directions:  "  and  very  like  birds  they  look,"  Alice 
thought  to  herself,  as  well  as  she  could  in  the  dreadful 
confusion  that  was  beginning. 

At  this  moment  she  heard  a  hoarse  laugh  at  her 
side,  and  turned  to  see  what  was  the  matter  with  the 
"White  Queen ;  but.  instead  of  the  Queen,  there  was  the 
leg  of  mutton  sitting  in  the  chair.  "  Here  I  am !  ' 
cried  a  voice  from  the  soup-tureen,  and  Alice  turned 
again,  just  in  time  to  see  the  Queen's  broad  good- 
natured  face  grinning  at  her  for  a  moment  over  the 
edge  of  the  tureen,  before  she  disappeared  into  the 
soup. 

There  was  not  a  moment  to  be  lost.  Already  sev- 
eral of  the  guests  were  lying  down  in  the  dishes,  and  the 
soup-ladle  was  walking  up  the  table  toward  Alice's 
chair,  and  beckoning  to  her  impatiently  to  get  out  of  its 
way. 


QUEEN  ALICE. 


265 


"I  can't  stand  this 
any  longer ! ' '  she  cried 
as  she  jumped  up  and 
seized  the  tablecloth 
with  both  hands :  one 
good  pull,  and  plates 
dishes,  guests,  and 
candles  came  crashing 
down  together  in  a 
heap  on  the  floor. 


"  And  as  for  you"  she  went  on,  turning  fiercely  upon 
the  Red  Queen,  whom  she  considered  as  the,  cause  of 

all  the  mischief but  the  Queen  was  no  longer  at  her 

side — she  had  suddenly  dwindled  down  to  the  size  of  a 
little  doll,  and  was  now  on  the  table,  merrily  running 
round  and  round  after  her  own  shawl,  which  was 
trailing  behind  her. 


266 


THROUGH  THE  LOOKINU-GLASS. 


At  any  other  time,  Alice  would  have  felt  surprised 
at  this,  but  she  was  far  too  much  excited  to  be  sur- 
prised at  anything  now.  "  As  for  you,"  she  repeated, 
catching  hold  of  the  little  creature  in  the  very  act  of 
jumping  over  a  bottle  which  had  just  lighted  upon  thft 
table,  "  I'll  shake  you  into  a  kitten,  that  I  will !  " 


267 


CHAPTER  X. 


SHAKING. 


She  took  her  off  the  table  as  she  spoke,  and  shook 
her  backwards  and  forwards  with  all  her  might. 

The  Red  Queen  made  no  resistance  whatever;  only 
her  face  grew  very  small,  and  her  eyes  got  large  and 
green :   and   still,    as  Alice  went  on  shaking  her,   she 

kept  on  growing  shorter and  fatter and  softer 

and  rounder and 


268 


CHAPTEE  XI. 


WAKING. 


-and  it  really  was  a  kitten,  after  all. 


269 


270 


CHAPTER  XII. 

WHICH  DREAMED  IT  ? 

"  Your  Red  Majesty  shouldn't  purr  so  loud,"  Alice 
said,  rubbing  her  eyes,  and  addressing  the  kitten,  re- 
spectfully, yet  with  some  severity.  "  You  woke  me 
out  of  oh !  such  a  nice  dream  !     And  you've  been  along 

with    me,    Kitty all    through    the    Looking-Glass 

world.     Did  you  know  it,  clear  ?  " 

It  is  a  very  inconvenient  habit  of  kittens  (Alice  had 
once  made  the  remark)  that,  whatever  you  say  to  them, 
they  always  purr.  "  If  they  would  only  purr  for  '  yes,' 
and  mew  for  '  no,'  or  any  rule  of  that  sort,"  she  had 
said,  "  so  that  one  could  keep  up  a  conversation !  But 
how  can  you  talk  with  a  person  if  they  always  say  the 
same  thing  ?  " 

On  this  occasion  the  kitten  only  purred :  and  it  was 
impossible  to  guess  whether  it  meant  "  yes  "  or  "  no." 

So  Alice  hunted  anions;  the  chessmen  on  the  table  till 
she  had  found  the  Red  Queen :  then  she  went  down  on 
her  knees  on  the  hearth-rug,  and  put  the  kitten  and  the 
Queen  to  look  at  each  other.  "  Now,  Kitty !  "  she- 
cried,  clapping  her  hands  triumphantly.  "  Confess  that 
was  what  you  turned  into !  " 

("  But  it  wouldn't  look  at  it,"  she  said,  when  she 
was  explaining  the  thing  afterward  to  her  sister :  "  it 
turned  away  its  head,  and  pretended  not  to  see  it:  but 
it  looked  a  little  ashamed  of  itself,  so  I  think  it  must 
have  been  the  Red  Queen.") 

"  Sit  up  a  little  more  stiffly,  dear !  "  Alice  cried  with 
a  merry  laugh.     "  And  courtesy  while  you're  thinking 

271 


272 


THROUGH  THE  LOOKING-GLASS. 


what  to what  to  purr.     It  saves  time,  remember!  " 

And  she  caught  it  up  and  gave  it  one  little  kiss,  "  just 
in  honor  of  its  having  been  a  Red  Queen." 

"  Snowdrop,  my  pet !  ,:  she  went  on,  looking  over 
her  shoulder  at  the  White  Kitten,  which  was  still  pa- 
tiently undergoing  its  toilet,  "  when  will  Dinah  have 
finished  with  your  White  Majesty,  I  wonder  ?  That 
must  be  the  reason  you  were  so  untidy  in  my  dream. 


Dinah  !      Do   you  know   that  you're   scrubbing   a 

White  Queen  ?  Really,  it's  most  disrespectful  of  you ! 
"  And  what  did  Dinah  turn  to,  I  wonder  ?  "  she  prat- 
tled on,  as  she  settled  comfortably  down,  w7ith  one 
elbow  on  the  rug,  and  her  chin  in  her  hand,  to  watch 
the  kittens.     "  Tell  me,  Dinah,  did  you  turn  to  Humpty 

Dumpty  ?     I  think  you  did however,  you'd  better 

not  mention  it  to  your  friends  just  yet,  for  I'm  not  sure. 


WHICH  DREAMED  IT?  273 

"  By  the  way,  Kitty,  if  you'd  been  really  with  me 
in  my  dream,   there  was  one  thing  you  would  have 

enjoyed 1  had  such  a  quantity  of  poetry  said  to  me, 

all  about  fishes !  To-morrow  morning  you  shall  have 
a  real  treat.  All  the  time  you're  eating  your  breakfast, 
I'll  repeat  '  The  Walrus  and  the  Carpenter '  to  you ; 
and  then  you  can  make  believe  it's  oysters,  dear ! 

"  Now,  Kitty,  let's  consider  who  it  was  that  dreamed 
it  all.     This  is  a  serious  question,  my  dear,  and  you 

should  not  go  on  licking  your  paw  like  that as  if 

Dinah  hadn't  washed  you  this  morning !  You  see, 
Kitty,  it  must  have  been  either  me  or  the  Red  King. 

He  was  part  of  my  dream,  of  course but  then  I  was 

part  of  his  dream,  too !     Was  it  the  Red  King,  Kitty  ? 

You  were  his  wife,  my  dear,  so  you  ought  to  know 

Oh,  Kitty,  do  help  to  settle  it !  I'm  sure  your  paw 
can  wait !  "  But  the  provoking  kitten  only  began  on 
the  other  paw,  and  pretended  it  hadn't  heard  the  ques- 
tion. 

Which  do  you  think  it  was  % 


A  boat,  beneath  a  sunny  sky 
Lingering  onward  dreamily 
In  the  evening  of  July 


Children  three  that  nestle  near, 
Eager  eye  and  willing  ear, 
Pleased  a  simple  tale  to  hear 


Long  has  paled  that  sunny  sky: 
Echoes  fade  and  memories  die : 
Autumn  frosts  have  slain  July. 

Still  she  haunts  me,   phantom  vise, 
Alice  moving  under  skies 
Never  seen  by  waking  eves. 

Children  yet,  the  tale  to  hear, 
Eager  eve  and  willing  ear, 
Lovingly  shall  nestle  near. 

In  a  Wonderland  they  lie, 
Dreaming  as  the  davs  20  bv, 
Dreaming  as  the  summers  die: 

Ever  drifting  down  the  stream 

Lingering  in  the  golden  gleam 

Life,  what  is  it  but  a  dream  ? 


THE    EXD. 


274 


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Dictionaries  of  the 
Foreign  Languages 


The  increased  demand  for  good,  low-priced,  Foreign 
Dictionaries,  prompts  the  publishers  to  issue  an  up-to- 
date  line  of  these  books  in  German,  French  and 
Spanish,  with  the  translation  of  each  word  into 
English,  and  vice  versa.  These  lexicons  are  adaptable 
for  use  in  schools,  academies  and  colleges,  and  for  all 
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Durably  bound  in  half  leather,  size  7x5^,  fully  illus- 
trated, we  offer  the  following : 

GERMAS-EXGLISH  Dictionary,  Price,  Postpaid,  $1.00. 
FRENCH-ENGLISH  "  "  «<        $1.00. 

SPAJQSH-EXGLISH        M  "  "         $1.00. 

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upon  receipt  of  S2.50. 

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size  6x4^,  are  offered  at  50c,  postpaid, 

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Dictionaries  of 
the  English 
Language 


A  DICTIONARY  is  a  book  of  reference  ;  a  book 
that  is  constantly  looked  into  for  information  on 
various  meanings  and  pronunciations  of  the  several 
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recognizing  the  importance  of  placing  before  the  public 
a  book  that  will  suit  all  pocket-books  and  come  within 
the  reach  of  all,  have  issued  several  editions  of  Dic- 
tionaries in  various  styles  and  sizes,  as  follows  : 


Peabody's  Webster  Dictionary,   -  20c. 

Hurst's  Webster  Dictionary,    -  25c. 

American  Popular  Dictionary,  -  35c. 
American  Diamond  Dictionary,  (Ibiet^SdiSO  *°c- 

Hurst's  New  Nuttall,  75c.    With  Index,  $1.00. 

Webster's  Quarto  Dictionary,  Cloth,       -  $1.25. 

"                   "                   "               y2  Russia,  $1.75. 

"                  "                   "           Pull  Sheep,  $2.25. 


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THIS  popular  novel  writer 
has  written  a  large 
number  of  successful 
books  that  have  been  widely 
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Aikenside, 

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Dora  Deane, 

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English  Orphans, 

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Mildred, 

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Miss  McDonald 

Rector  of  St.  Marks, 

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HENTY  SERIES 

AN  entirely  new  edition  of  these  famous  Books  for  Boys, 
by  G.  A.  Henty.    This  author  has  reached  the  hearts 
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Among  Malay  Pirates.    A  Story  of 

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Bonnie  Prince  Charlie.    A  Tale  of 

Fontenoy  and  Culloden. 
Boy  Knight,  The.     A  Tale  of  the 

Crusades. 
Bravest  of  the  Brave,  The.    With 

Peterborough  in  Spain. 
By  England's  Aid ;  or,  The  Freeing 

of  the  Netherlands  (1585-1604). 
By  Pike  and  Dyke.     A  Tale  of  the 

Rise  of  the  Dutch  Republic. 
By  Right  of  Conquest ;  or  With  Cor- 

tez  in  Mexico. 
By  Sheer  Pluck.     A  Tale   of  the 

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Captain  Bayley's  Heir.     A  Tale  of 

the  Gold  Fields  of  California. 
Cat  of  Bubastes,  The.     A  Story  of 

Ancient  Egypt. 
Cornet  of  Horse,  The.     A  Tale  of 

Marlborough's  Wars. 
Dragon  and  the  Raven ;  or,  The  Days 

of  King  Alfred. 
Facing  Death.    A  Tale  of  the  Coal 

Mines. 
Final  Reckoning,  A.    A  Tale  of  Bush 

Life  in  Australia. 
For  Name  and  Fame ;  or,  Through 

Afghan  Passes. 
For  the  Temple.   A  Tale  of  the  Fall 

of  Jerusalem. 
Friends,  Though  Divided.     A  Tale 

of  the  Civil  War  in  England. 
Golden  Canon,  The. 
In  Freedom's  Cause.     A  Story  of 

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In  the  Reign  of  Terror.  Adventures 

of  a  Westminster  Boy. 
In  Times  of  Peril.    A  Tale  of  India. 
Jack  Archer.   A  Tale  of  the  Crimea, 


Lion  of  St.  Mark,  The.  A  Story  of 
Venice  in  the  Fourteenth  Century. 

Lion  of  the  North,  The,  A  Tale  of 
Gustavus  Adolphus  and  Wars  of 
Religion. 

Lost  Heir,  The. 

Maori  and  Settler.  A  Story  of  the 
New  Zealand  War. 

One  of  the  28th.  A  Tale  of  Water- 
loo. 

Orange  and  Green.  A  Tale  of  the 
Boyne  and  Limerick. 

Out  on  the  Pampas.  A  Tale  of  South 
America. 

St.  George  for  England.  A  Tale  of 
Cressy  and  Poitiers. 

Sturdy  and  Strong;  or,  How  George 
Andrews  Made  His  Way. 

Through  the  Fray.  A  Story  of  the 
Luddite  Riots. 

True  to  the  Old  Flag.  A  Tale  of  the 
American  War  of  Independence. 

Under  Drake's  Flag.  A  Tale  of  the 
Spanish  Main. 

With  Clive  in  India ;  or,  The  Begin- 
nings of  an  Empire. 

With  Lee  in  Virginia.  A  Story  of 
the  American  Civil  War. 

With  Wolfe  in  Canada ;  or,  The  Win- 
ning of  a  Continent. 

Young  Buglers,  The.  A  Tale  of  tha 
Peninsular  War. 

Young  Carthaginian,  The.  A  Story 
of  the  Times  of  Hannibal. 

Young  Colonists,  The.  A  Story  of 
Life  and  War  in  South  Africa. 

Young  Franc-Tireurs,  The.  A  Tale 
of  the  Franco-Prussian  War. 

Young  Midshipman,  The.  A  Tale  of 
the  Siege  of  Alexandria. 


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Calmer  Cox's  Brcftonie 

tlCiClR  Illustrated  by  Palmer  Cox 

Thousands  who  have  paid  $i.5o  for 
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Wee  cMacgreegor 

A  Scottish  Story  by  J.  J.  Bell. 

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A  BOOK  OF  THE   HOUR 


The  Simple  Life 


By  CHARLES  WAGNER 


Translated  from  the  French  by  H.  L.  WILLIAMS 


The  sale  of  this  book  has  been  magnetic  and 
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A  Famous  Series  of  Books  now  offered  at  a  Third  the  Former  Cost 

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titles  of  this  celebrated  line  of  books  : 

From  Boyhood  to  Manhood  ;  Life  of  Benjamin  Franklin. 

From  Farm  House  to  White  House;  Lile  of  George  Washington. 

From  Log  Cabin  to  White  House;  Life  of  James  A.  Garfield. 

From  Pioneer  Home  to  White  House  ;  Life  of  Abraham  Lincoln. 

From  Tannery  to  White  House;  Life  of  Ulysses  S.  Grant. 

Success  and  Its  Achievers. 

Tact,  Push  and  Principle. 

These  titles,  though  by  different  authors,  also  belong 
to  this  series  of  books  : 


From    Cottage   to   Castle  ;    The    Story    of    Gutenberg,    Inventor    of 
Printing.    By  Mrs.  E.  C.  Pearson. 

Capital  for  Working  Boys.     By  Mrs.  Julia  E.  M'Conaughy. 

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